Steal That Base! (7 page)

 

I sat down. Dylan was walking back to the visitors' dugout with his shoulders slumped.

“So, who are
you
?” asked Ernie.

“I'm your second biggest fan,” I told him.

“I'm an accountant. Accountants do not have fans.”

“I'm a fan of the stuff you say during the game. You know, like that joke you just made.”

“It's called
ballpark patter
,” he said. “I do take pride in my patter. I admit it.”

“Your ballpark patter is great,” I said.

The woman on the other side of me looked at me and shook her head.

“Anyway, I'm your second biggest fan,” I told Ernie. “Your
first
biggest fan is my friend Petunia. Will you please wave to her? It would make her day.”

“Who's Petunia?” Ernie asked.

“She's right over there.” I started to point
and stopped. “I don't know where she is,” I said. “But if you just say ‘Hi, Petunia!' She'll hear you.”

“‘Hi, Petunia'?”

“Yeah.”

“You want me to say ‘Hi, Petunia.' What's the joke?”

I shook my head. “No joke.”

“There must be,” said Ernie. “It's like when I ask you for a henway.”

“What's a henway?”

“Three or four pounds.” He laughed and slapped his knee.

I thought about it. “No, it's not like that.”

“Or like when I say, can you lend me a hammerfor.”

“What's a hammerfor?”

“Pounding!” He laughed even harder at that one.

“It really isn't a joke,” I told him. “Please say ‘Hi, Petunia.' She'll hear you and wave, and then you wave back.”

“No way am I doing it,” Ernie said. “I am not saying ‘Hi, Petunia.'”

“Please?”

“Hi, Petunia. Hi, Petunia. Hi, Petunia.” He repeated it several more times. He was loud even when he wasn't trying. “Is that supposed to sound like something else? I don't get it.”

“Look.” The woman next to me pointed. A little girl was standing on the steps, three sections over. She was looking our way. She waved.

I waved back.

The little girl waved again.

I saw a big
G
on the stair. I counted: ten rows back.

Petunia!

Ernie didn't wave.

“She's my biggest fan?” said Ernie. “She's only four years old, tops.”

“Yeah. Thanks!” I said. I rushed through the row—“Excuse me, excuse me”—and back to the aisle.

“I still don't get it!” Ernie shouted after me.

y the time I got back to the Porcupine's dugout, the score was 4–1,
not
in the Pines' favor. And the Finches were still batting.

Abby was fielding a foul ball, which wasn't easy to do in a porcupine costume. The fans laughed and clapped for her.

“Section G, ten rows back,” I told her.

“Great,” she said. She grabbed the box with the bobblehead, bolted from the dugout, and ran across the field. She forgot the inning was still going.

The second base umpire tried to stop her, but she ran right past him. The fans cheered.

“Spike is storming the field,” said Victor Snapp. “The game is in a brief delay while an umpire chases a porcupine across the field. And now I really have seen everything.”

Spike reached the seating area steps and ran up. The second base umpire went back to his spot on the field.

The mascot bounded up the steps and gave Petunia the bobblehead. The little girl jumped up and down and then gave Spike a big hug.

Nate Link pitched, and the batter bounced into a double play. The inning was finally over.

“The Finches get three runs on four hits,” said Victor Snapp. “The inning also had two walks, a wild pitch, a distracted batboy, and a disruptive mascot. Figure out how to put that
on your scorecards! We go to the bottom of the eighth inning.”

It was mostly a happy ending, except for the fact that the Porcupines were losing—and I didn't have a bobblehead.

• • •

George “President” Lincoln batted first for the Porcupines. He was the second baseman. He hit a single. Tommy was next, and he hit a single, too. Myung came to the plate and grounded out. The runners were able to advance, so at least the Porcupines had two runners in scoring position.

Mike Stammer hit a double, and the crowd went wild as both runners scored. Now the Porcupines only needed one more run to tie the game, and there was a runner at second base.

Sammy Solaris came to the plate. The crowd stood up and clapped.

He took a ball, then swung at the next pitch and missed, then hit a foul ball.

I felt my stomach tie up in knots. Sammy had been on base every at-bat this game. What were the odds he could do it again?

He swung and smacked the ball. It soared toward the fence. The crowd gasped.

The ball hit the fence and bounced back. That was enough to score Mike Stammer. Sammy turned at first base.

“Go! Go! Go!” people shouted at Sammy, but he didn't go.

The center fielder fielded the ball and threw to the second baseman. He had an arm like a cannon. Maybe Sammy made the right choice by staying put. If he'd tried to go to second, he might have been out.

Grumps turned back to look at the bench. He nodded at Luis Quezada, a utility infielder
and pinch runner. Luis leaped up. Grumps was taking Sammy out of the game. He went to signal to the umpires that he was putting in a replacement. He stopped and brushed at his leg. He slapped his left thigh three times. He drummed his fingers on his right shoulder. He took off his cap and swiped at his shoe while hopping on one foot.

I didn't know the signs, but Sammy's eyes lit up.

Todd was still pitching. He glanced at Sammy, saw he was still on base, and turned back to face Wayne Zane at the plate. He pitched.

Sammy took off.

The crowd roared. Grumps turned purple.

Wayne didn't swing. The catcher fumbled with the ball.

Sammy kept on running. He was halfway to second base.

Jonny finally got a grip on the ball and flung it to second. The second baseman caught it and braced himself to tag Sammy.

Sammy put on the brakes and started back to first.

Grumps covered his eyes.

Gustavo, the Finches' first baseman, caught the ball and got ready to tag Sammy as he bolted back to first. Sammy stopped, turned, and headed back to second.

“They have Sammy picked off,” said Victor Snapp.

It was the slowest rundown I ever saw. Sammy strode to second. The second baseman toed the bag and waited for Gustavo to throw back the ball.

Gustavo took a few steps, and pumped. But he didn't throw the ball. He took another few steps and made like he was going to throw, but the ball didn't leave his hand. He gave up and started running after Sammy.

 

Sammy slid. The second baseman got out of the way. Sammy's heel reached the bag a split second before Gustavo caught up and tagged him. The second base umpire signaled . . .

SAFE!

“He's safe!” Victor Snapp shouted. “Sammy Solaris just stole second base! That's the first stolen base in his career. What a game!”

The crowd stomped and cheered.

The Finches' pitcher shook his head in disbelief. Gustavo tried to throw him the ball, but still couldn't get it out of his hand.

Todd had to go take it by force. He glared at the ball and tossed it to the umpire for another.

Gustavo wiped his hand on his pants, and suddenly I knew what had happened. He
couldn't make the throw because he had a hand full of marshmallow goo!

Grumps called a time-out and sent Luis to pinch-run for Sammy. Sammy got a standing ovation as he came in from the field. He was beaming. His smile could have lit up a night game.

“I stole second base,” he said. “I can't wait to call Wendy!”

“I didn't give you the sign to steal,” Grumps barked.

“It sure looked like you did. You touched your leg and took off your cap. That's the sign, coach. All that other stuff was funny to watch, but it didn't change the sign.”

“I had a spider on me! I was shaking it off,” Grumps said. “Can't you tell the difference?”

“I can't see a spider all the way from first base,” said Sammy.

“Bah.”

“Coach, it's OK,” said Sammy. “I was safe. All's well that ends well.”

“You got lucky.”

“I'll take lucky,” said Sammy. “Or magic.” He patted his hip pocket and gave me a thumbs-up sign, then went to the locker room to call his niece.

I started to ask Grumps what happened to the spider, but decided it was not a good idea. He was called Grumps for a reason.

Wayne Zane hit a long single, and Luis Quezada sped home. The Porcupines took a one-run lead. Ryan Kimball, the Porcupines' closer, started warming up in the bull pen. Teddy Larrabee struck out, and then either
Danny O'Brien or Brian Daniels flied out to right field.

“The Porcupines get four runs on five hits, and the strangest stolen base I've ever seen,” said Victor Snapp. “So we go to the top of the ninth!”

I went to the dugout door and searched the ground. I didn't see Sparky. I didn't see a dead spider, either, so that was good news.