He’d never paid that much attention to friendships in his own life. He had a few golf buddies and a lot of professional associates, but no one to whom he would consider baring his soul. After seeing the way Dana Sue and Helen had rallied around Maddie when her marriage had broken up, he’d wondered what it would be like to have people like that in his corner.
For years the only person he’d needed was Maddie. And now she was no longer available. He was just starting to realize how much he missed their talks, how much he’d relied on her insights, how much he’d counted on her backup with the kids.
And how unfair he was probably being asking her to help him fix a disaster of his own making.
He stood up when she walked across the restaurant, impressed with how much she’d changed recently. It wasn’t her outfit. She’d always dressed in a way that made him proud. It was her demeanor. There was a new confidence radiating from her. He’d been noticing that more and more lately.
He brushed her cheek with an impulsive kiss as he would have a few months ago, and winced when she regarded him with dismay.
“Sorry,” he muttered. “Old habit.”
“I only have an hour, so tell me what’s on your mind,” she said briskly.
“The kids, of course,” he said irritably. “And I’ve already ordered for us to save time.”
“Fine,” she said. “Bill, surely you’re not surprised that they’re still upset by all the changes they’ve gone through.”
“Maddie, it’s been months now. I really thought they’d get over it once they got to know Noreen, but they hate her. At least Ty does and Kyle’s starting to act the same way. They’re not willing to give her a chance. How do I make that right?”
“Maybe by warning them when you intend to include her,” she suggested mildly. “I gather they were caught off guard last night. They were expecting to have dinner out alone with their dad. They need to spend time with you, Bill. They need to know that you’re still their dad, first and foremost.”
“I can’t tell Noreen she has to stay home,” he said, as a waitress brought their salads.
“Why not?” Maddie demanded, after the waitress had left. “If she upsets your children, why can’t you simply explain that there are going to be times when you need to see them on your own to make this transition easier. I don’t think she’s an evil person or even insensitive. If you explain it to her, she ought to be able to handle it and not think you’re trying to cut her out of their lives or yours. But if she really is that insecure, you’re going to find being married to her a pretty rocky road.”
“Okay, I see your point, but if the kids don’t spend any time with her, how will they ever get to know her?”
Maddie gave him an impatient look. “It’s a balancing act, okay? You set aside time just for them. You include Noreen on other occasions. It’s not that complicated.”
“But—”
“Look, you asked for my advice and I’m trying to give it to you. You don’t have to take it. Ignore it and watch things continue to deteriorate until you have no relationship with your children at all. It’s up to you.” She rose to her feet.
“Where are you going?”
“This was a bad idea. I’m going back to work.”
“But we’re not finished,” he said, desperate for her to stay. “You haven’t even touched your food.”
“You’re wrong, Bill. We are most certainly finished. That was your choice, too.”
She was gone before he could think of a single legitimate reason to keep her there. And now he felt as if all the life had been sucked right out of him.
“Can I get you anything else?” Dana Sue inquired.
Bill looked up at her, expecting to see her gloating over his dismay, but instead her gaze was sympathetic. That was harder to take than Maddie’s departure.
“No,” he said stiffly. He pulled a couple of twenties from his wallet and left the money on the table.
“But you never ate,” she said, trying to hand it back.
“No, but I took up a table at the busiest time of the day. Give the money to the waitress.”
He left, knowing that he’d managed to surprise one person today, aside from himself. All those sudden insights about just how much he’d lost when he’d walked away from his marriage were going to weigh on him for a long time to come.
It was after six when Maddie glanced up from all the papers and catalogs she’d been working on and spotted Cal standing in the doorway of her makeshift office, his expression troubled.
“This is a surprise,” she said, regarding him warily and regretting that she couldn’t take even a minute to appreciate the very masculine way his jeans hugged his thighs and the dark blue T-shirt emphasized his muscular shoulders. “I can’t sign you up for a membership, you know. You’re unmistakably the wrong gender.”
“Bet I could talk you into it,” he said, a faint grin crossing his lips. “But that isn’t why I’m here.”
She stared at him and waited.
“Ty didn’t show up for baseball practice today,” he announced, pulling out a chair opposite her. “Any idea why?”
Maddie felt her stomach plummet. “Did you call the house by any chance?”
“No answer,” he said tersely. “And I drove by before coming here, but no one answered when I rang the bell.”
“Dammit,” she muttered. “I am going to kill my soon-to-be ex-husband.”
“What does he have to do with this?”
She met his concerned gaze evenly. “I really shouldn’t be dumping my problems on you, Cal. It’s not fair.”
“When it affects someone as important to my team as Ty is, then I’m more than willing to listen and do whatever I can to help. I mean that, Maddie.”
She heard the sincerity in his tone and fought the temptation to spill everything—Bill’s insensitivity to his children’s feelings, her own frustrations, Ty’s anger, the changes in Kyle’s
previously upbeat personality, Katie’s wrenching sorrow. But despite what he said, these weren’t Cal’s problems to solve.
“It’s nothing new. Ty’s still having difficulty adjusting to the new woman in his dad’s life.”
Cal nodded. “But what happened yesterday or today that would make him skip practice? He’s a responsible kid, Maddie. Even when he wasn’t playing his best, at least he showed up.”
She finally described the awkward dinner the kids had had with their father and Noreen the night before and the argument that had ensued at the house. “Ty and Kyle think I don’t understand what they’re going through. I think they’re both feeling very alone right now.” She gave him a helpless look. “I keep trying to find some middle ground, some way to help them make peace with their dad’s decision, but obviously I’m not succeeding.”
“Any idea where Ty might be now?”
“If he’s not at the ball field, no,” she said, reaching for her purse. “Which means I need to start looking.”
“I’ll drive you,” Cal said.
“You don’t need to.”
“It’ll be easier for you to make some calls to his friends, while I drive,” he said.
She nodded, unable to argue with that. “Thank you.”
As she passed by, he gave her shoulder a light squeeze. “You’re a good mom, Maddie. Don’t doubt yourself on that score.”
“Then why is my sixteen-year-old son so terribly unhappy?”
“Because he’s filled with all sorts of conflicting emotions that he has no idea how to handle,” Cal said.
“Conflicting emotions?”
“I imagine a part of him does want to make peace with his dad, to reconnect with him. It’s baseball season and you told me yourself that it’s something they always shared. Now it’s a source of conflict because you and his dad don’t even come to the same games. If he’s glad to see his dad, even a little bit, he feels disloyal to you. And here you are pushing him toward his dad and this new woman. It’s bound to be confusing.”
Maddie stared at him in wonder. “How’d you get to be so smart?”
“Not smart. I just spend a lot of time with teenagers, and more than I’d like to see are going through this or something similar. And I was a teenage boy once, too. I remember the highs and lows. There never seems to be much middle ground.”
She forced herself to ask the question that had been tormenting her for some time now. “Do you think Ty needs professional help?”
He met her gaze. “Do you?”
“I don’t want to believe he does. I’m his mom. I ought to be able to fix this, but I don’t want to let my ego get in the way and wind up hurting him even more. He can’t keep running away. One of these days he’s going to wind up in real trouble. He needs to find some other way to deal with his anger.”
“Then talk to him and keep on talking, even when you think he’s not listening. You’re tuned in, Maddie. I don’t think this is going to spiral out of control without you noticing. And you’ve got a second pair of eyes in me. Believe me, I intend to explain that skipping practice hurts the team and it won’t be tolerated.”
“I will never be able to thank you enough for caring about my son,” she said.
He gave her a look she couldn’t quite interpret, but it sent a little shiver down her spine and made her wonder—not for the first time—if Ty wasn’t the only one Cal cared about. But that issue was way too complicated for this afternoon. Right now, all that mattered was finding her son.
T
here were at least a dozen different moments while he and Maddie searched for Ty that Cal wanted to reach out and pull her into his arms to comfort her. But though her lower lip quivered and tears welled up in her eyes as every place they checked turned up empty, she didn’t lose it. Not once.
“I better call Bill,” Maddie finally said, sounding resigned. “He needs to know what’s going on. Maybe he’s even heard from Ty, though given the way things are between them, I doubt it.”
“Still, it’s hard to tell what Ty might do. He might even have gone to have it out with his dad,” Cal said. He glanced over and caught the reluctance in Maddie’s expression. He came up with a brief reprieve. “Would you prefer to go by the house first, see if Ty’s turned up there? Maybe check on Kyle and Katie? I know you’re worried about them being there by themselves, even though Kyle’s babysat before. Once you’ve checked on them, you can call Bill with the latest information we have.”
“Yes, let’s do that,” she said gratefully. “Maybe Ty’s called the house since the last time I checked with Kyle.”
She’d spoken to Kyle less than five minutes earlier, but for
now she needed to cling to whatever hope she could. Cal wouldn’t take that from her.
When they arrived at Maddie’s, Cal pulled in to the driveway right behind another car that was just cutting its engine.
“Who’s that?” he asked.
“My mother,” Maddie said, shoving her door open and climbing out just as the passenger door in the other car opened and Ty emerged. When he spotted his mother and Cal, he hung his head, the picture of guilt.
“I’ll be inside,” he muttered and headed for the house.
Paula Vreeland got out from behind the wheel and smiled wearily at Maddie. “I’ve been trying to reach you, but I don’t have your cell-phone number and you weren’t answering at home or at the spa. The last time I called here, I spoke to Kyle and he said you were calling in, so I decided to just come on over.”
“Where did you find Ty?” Maddie asked.
“He found me,” Mrs. Vreeland said, a note of amazement in her voice. “He turned up at the house this afternoon. He admitted he’d skipped baseball practice and that you didn’t know where he was. I insisted he call you.” She shrugged. “He refused, so I tried.”
“I’m glad he came to you,” Maddie said. “But why?”
“We’ve been closer lately,” her mother replied. “He thinks he can talk to me.”
“He can talk to
me,
” Maddie protested, looking wounded.
“You and I know that,” her mother soothed, “but it’s Ty’s perception that matters.” She studied Maddie worriedly, then said, “He asked if he could move in with me for a while.”
Maddie’s mouth dropped open and her eyes filled with tears. Cal put a steadying hand on her shoulder. He could only imagine what a shock her mother’s announcement must be.
“Why?” she asked her mother, sounding completely bewildered. “Did he tell you?”
“Why don’t you two go inside and discuss this,” Cal suggested. “Now that we know Ty’s okay, I’ll take off.”
“Stay,” both Maddie and her mother said at once.
It was Maddie’s imploring look that got to him. “Of course, if you think I can help.”
Inside, there was no sign of Ty. He’d obviously retreated to his room. “How about I go upstairs and try to talk to him?” Cal suggested. “Maybe I can get another perspective on what’s going on with him. I can also explain the rules and consequences for missing practice, while you two have some time alone to figure out how you’re going to handle this.”
Mrs. Vreeland gave him a grateful look. “I think that’s an excellent idea, Cal. Come, Maddie. I’ll help you fix dinner. I’m sure the children are starved.”
Maddie gave her an incredulous look. “You cook?”
Mrs. Vreeland chuckled, which broke the somber mood. “I realize you didn’t have a traditional childhood, darling, but there were occasional meals on the table. How did you think they got there?”
“Dad? The housekeeper of the month?”
“Usually,” her mother replied breezily. “But there were a few occasions on which I recalled all those lessons my mother gave me in the kitchen in her mostly wasted attempt to turn me into a proper Southern belle. Let’s see if I can’t whip up one of her tuna casseroles right now. That’s good old-fashioned comfort food.” She winked at Cal. “You’ll stay, of course.”
“Let’s see how it goes,” Cal said.
But despite his cautious reply, he knew in his gut there
was no way he was walking away from this family as long as they showed any sign of needing him. Staying by Maddie’s side felt right, and after getting it so wrong with Laurie, this felt damn good.
“Are you sleeping with him yet?” Maddie’s mother inquired as she rooted through the cupboards for the ingredients for a tuna casserole.
“Mother!” Maddie exclaimed indignantly. “Don’t you think there are more important things we should be discussing?”
Her mother grinned unrepentantly. “I suppose that depends on your point of view. Falling for a man runs pretty close to the top of most women’s priority lists.”
“Not when they have a son in crisis,” Maddie retorted. “Besides, who said I was falling for Cal?”
“It’s in your eyes when you look at him,” her mother said, stirring the tuna and cream of mushroom soup together as the noodles simmered on the stove. “And in case you were wondering, it’s in his eyes, too.”
“I wasn’t wondering,” Maddie mumbled, but her cheeks were burning. “Mom, what on earth possessed Ty to come to you and ask to move in?”
“I think that’s obvious. He’s feeling torn between you and his dad. I’m neutral ground.”
It was similar to something Cal had said, and it still cut Maddie’s heart in two. “But I’ve done everything I can think of to make him not feel that way,” she protested. “I’ve bent over backward to keep my feelings hidden, to try to broker some kind of relationship we can all live with.”
“But don’t you see, in some ways that just makes it worse,”
her mother explained. “He’s furious on your behalf and you don’t let him see that you are, too. I don’t expect you to bad-mouth Bill, even though he deserves every vicious thing you might say, but you can own your own feelings. How’s Ty supposed to interpret it when you act as if everything’s just hunky-dory? Do you want him to think you’re a doormat? What will that tell him to expect from the women in his life when the time comes for him to have a serious relationship?”
Stunned by the idea, Maddie could almost feel the color draining out of her face. “That’s the last thing I want.”
“Then sit him down and tell him how you really feel,” her mother advised. “Let him know it’s okay to be angry and hurt, but that it doesn’t mean he can’t still love his dad and you both. He needs to see you standing up for yourself, Maddie, not being some kind of martyr for the sake of the children.”
Maddie had never thought of her actions in that way, but she could see her mother’s point.
“Would it be best for Ty to stay with you, at least for the time being?” she asked, hating the idea but willing to consider it.
“Absolutely not,” her mother said at once. “Not that I don’t want him there. If it turns out that it’s the best place for him to be, I’d welcome him. But I think he belongs here with you. He just needs to feel as if you’re all on the same team, trying to get through this together. Include him, Maddie. Don’t isolate him. Kyle, either. They’re both old enough to be told the truth, to help you define how this new family is going to work.”
Maddie buried her face in her hands. “This is so hard. How does anyone ever get it right?”
Her mother gave her a sad smile. “I doubt anyone ever gets it entirely right. People just muddle through and try not to do too much damage along the way.” She glanced toward the ceiling. “Something tells me that having Cal in your corner won’t hurt, either. Ty idolizes him and Cal seems to have a good head on his shoulders, in addition to having very good taste in women.”
“Mother!”
“I’m just saying—”
Maddie frowned at her. “I know what you’re saying, but I do not want you endorsing my love life, assuming I ever get around to having one again.”
“It would be a crying shame if you didn’t, that’s all I’m saying.” After one last stir of the ingredients, her mother tucked the casserole into the oven. “And now I think my job here is done. Tell Ty to stop by or call me anytime he wants. Maybe I can do a better job as a grandma than I ever did as a mother.”
“You were a good mother,” Maddie protested.
Her mother gave her a chiding look. “Don’t rewrite history, darling. I loved you with all my heart, but I was obsessed with my work. I’d like to think I’ve finally found a better balance in my life. I just wish I’d had that epiphany in time to be a better mother to you.”
She pressed a kiss to Maddie’s forehead, then gave her a breezy wave as she exited.
“Mom, how are you going to get out of the driveway?” Maddie called after her. “Cal’s parked behind you.”
“Not to worry. That’s why they invented power steering. I’ve gotten out of plenty of tight places in my life.” She grinned. “And you have a big lawn.”
Maddie was still chuckling when she looked up and spotted Cal.
“Is your mother leaving?”
She nodded.
“But I’m parked behind her.”
She grinned at him. “She doesn’t seem to think that will be a problem.”
“Good God,” he murmured and headed outside.
When he returned, there was a look of wonder on his face. “She’s a little crazy, but she pulled it off. Not a scratch on either of our cars. I’m not sure I can say the same about your rosebush.”
Maddie shrugged. “I’ve always hated that rosebush. Bill planted it. He thought it would save him from having to buy me roses for our anniversary every year. How’d things go with Ty?”
“He’ll be down in a minute. You can ask him yourself. I think I’ll take off.”
A part of her knew he was right to go and give her much-needed time with her son, but another part of her wanted him to stay right there and provide backup when she was at a loss about what to say.
She gave him a rueful look. “I won’t deny that I’d like it better if you’d stay. But you’re right. Ty and I need to talk.”
“I’ll call you later to find out how it went,” he promised.
Maddie nodded, already looking forward to the call more than she probably should. “Thanks for everything, Cal.”
“Anytime.” He hesitated, then met her gaze. “It’s your turn to come to Friday’s game, right? You weren’t there for the one we played yesterday.”
She nodded.
“Pizza after?”
It was her turn to hesitate, but then she nodded, granting herself that one small pleasure in a sea of uncertainty. “Sure. It sounds good.”
Besides, what was one more complication in her life? At least this one gave her something to look forward to.
Maddie was just pulling the tuna casserole out of the oven when Katie appeared in the kitchen doorway, her thumb stuck in her mouth. Maddie regarded her with dismay. She’d thought the thumb-sucking was a habit broken long ago.
“How’s my girl?” she asked, trying not to show how worried she was by the regression.
“Okay,” Katie said, but her sad eyes told another story. “Is Daddy coming home for dinner?”
“No, sweetie, we’ve talked about that,” Maddie said gently. She pulled out a chair and sat down, then beckoned to her daughter. “Come sit with Mommy.”
Katie scrambled eagerly into her lap, then leaned against her chest, thumb still firmly in her mouth.
“Your dad doesn’t live here anymore,” Maddie told her, brushing a wayward curl from Katie’s silky cheek. “You’ve been to his new house. Except when he goes out for dinner with you, Kyle and Tyler, that’s where he eats now.”
Katie heaved a resigned sigh. “With Noreen.”
“That’s right.”
“How come?”
Maddie bit back her own sigh. It was a question she’d asked herself a million times over the past few months. She still didn’t have a clear answer, at least not one suitable for a six-year-old who still idolized her dad.
“Because that’s where your dad wants to be now,” she explained carefully. “But he still loves you and your brothers very much and he wants you to be part of his new life with Noreen. That will never change. He will always be your dad.” How many times was she going to have to repeat these same words to her children? Until they truly believed them, she supposed.
Katie certainly didn’t look convinced, just sad. “Ty says he ’bandoned us.”
“He moved out, that’s true,” Maddie conceded. “But he did not abandon you. He loves you.”
Katie regarded her with solemn blue eyes. “Does he still love you?”
“No, baby. I’m afraid not.”
“Are you sad?”
“A little bit, because your dad and I had you and Kyle and Tyler and I thought we’d be a family always, but sometimes life doesn’t work out the way we expect. When it doesn’t, we just have to accept it and make the best of things.”
Tears welled up and spilled down Katie’s cheeks. “I miss Daddy,” she whispered. “Ty doesn’t. He hates him. He’s glad he’s gone.”
“I don’t believe that,” Maddie said. “He’s just hurt and confused right now, but deep down, Tyler loves your dad just as much as you do.”
She glanced up and saw Ty just outside the kitchen door. He looked as if he wanted to contradict her, but at her warning look, he remained silent.
Maddie brushed the tears from Katie’s cheeks. “Why don’t you go upstairs and tell Kyle that dinner’s ready, okay, sweetie?”
Katie gave her another fierce hug, then climbed down and took off past her older brother.
“Why’d you tell her I love Dad?” Ty demanded angrily. “She’s right. I hate him.”
“Even if you do, which I don’t believe, it’s not something your six-year-old sister needs to hear. She needs to know it’s okay to love her dad, even if she’s sad and disappointed. Don’t take that away from her, Tyler. This is hard enough as it is.” She met his gaze. “Can you at least watch what you say around her?”
He flushed guiltily. “I guess.”
“Thank you.”
“Are you gonna let me move in with Grandma?”
“No,” she said flatly.
He stared at her incredulously. “How come? I thought you’d be glad to get me out of the house, especially since you think I’m such a bad influence on Katie and Kyle.”