Steel 3: Blackthorne MC (4 page)

I groaned. What the hell had I been thinking?

It hadn't all been my fault. He'd led me on. Nick made me believe he cared. He was a jerk and I deserved better.

There was no way I was spending my final night here in the same bed as Nick Steel.

My eyes focused on the heavy chest set back against the wall. I smiled. That would do the trick.

I moved over to the chest and put my shoulder down against the wood, heaving the chest across the floor. It was even heavier than it looked and took me a good five minutes to get it into place, blocking the door and barring Nick in case he decided to grace me with his presence later.

I was nobody's plaything, and I wouldn't be treated as if I was disposable.

I stripped off my clothes angrily and climbed into bed, looking with satisfaction at the heavy chest leaning against the door. He would definitely get the message if he tried to get back in.

I plumped up the pillows and got comfortable, trying to calm myself down as I waited for Nick to come back.

But he didn't.

Nick

I was feeling pretty hazy after drinking so much bourbon. I swayed a little on my feet at the bar, and Chad laughed, slapping me on the back.

"I haven't seen you drink this much in a long time," Tom said.

I nodded. "Ella is leaving tomorrow."

The two brothers paused and exchanged a look. Then Tom said, "I know, man. It's tough."

“I think I love her," I said.

The expression on both Chad and Tom's faces was comical. They looked absolutely terrified. We've known each other for years, but we weren't exactly over fond of talking about feelings.

"Hey, you'll get over it," Chad said, giving me an uncomfortable smile as he slapped me on the back again.

Tom scratched his bushy beard. "You're not going to do anything stupid, are you, Nick?"

Chad frowned. "Ella, is a nice girl, but she's leaving tomorrow. You can't screw that up for her."

Chad was irritating me. I pushed him away. Why would I listen to anything he said? What did he know about it?

"Hey, take it easy," Tom said. "I think you've probably had enough tonight, Nick."

I picked up what was left of my bourbon from the bar and drained it. I set the glass down on the bar and then swayed slightly on the spot before I turned to walk away from them.

"Don't do anything stupid," Chad called after me.

Stupid? I was finally going to do the sensible thing. The thing I should have done earlier tonight. I was going to tell Ella how I felt. She might laugh in my face or tell me to leave her the hell alone, but I couldn't let her leave without her knowing how I felt.

In the corridor, I walked past a couple making out and stumbled into them.

"Sorry." I held up my hands. I was finding it difficult to walk in a straight line.

Despite the effects of the alcohol, I started to get nervous as I approached the room. What the hell was wrong with me? I could handle this. I just had to tell her how I felt. How hard could it be?

I put my hand on the handle and tried to open the door. What the hell? I stared at it in confusion. It only opened an inch before colliding with something hard.

I peered through the gap and despite my blurred vision, I saw heavy wooden chest in front of the door. That chest had been back against the wall a couple of hours ago.

The realization that she didn't want me in the room hit me like a ton of bricks.

I let my hand drop from the handle and leaned back against the wall. I forced myself to breathe steadily. I was such an idiot.

Did I really believe she could want someone like me? Ella had her whole life ahead of her. She was going to be successful. After a few years of medical school, she would probably settle down with some over-educated jerk, a lawyer or a surgeon or something. They’d live in some fancy big house in the suburbs and join a tennis club.
 

I shook my head. What could I offer her in comparison?

I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor beside the door. I was berating myself for being such a fool when Amy, the same stripper I'd been talking to earlier, walked past.

"What are you doing out here, Nick?"

She stared down at me with a confused frown on her face. She was still wearing her skimpy stripping outfit and was covered in glitter, tottering on crazy high heels.

I shrugged. "There are outsiders in the bar tonight, and there is no lock on the door. I just want to make sure she's okay."

"Aw that's so sweet, Nick." She smiled down at me but then the confused frown returned to her face. "But why…?"

I suspected she was going to ask me why I just didn't go inside with Ella, but she thought better of it. Instead, she just gave me a confused smile and a shrug before heading off to do her second show of the evening.

I watched her leave, and then leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes.

This was the end.

I'd lost my chance.

Ella

When I woke up in the morning and realized that Nick wasn't beside me, the first thing I did was look at the door. It was still closed, and the heavy chest was still in front of it.

I groaned with embarrassment. Nick hadn't even
tried
to come back.

I was actually surprised I'd managed to get some sleep. I thought I would be up all night worrying about things that could go wrong. I couldn't believe I was actually going to be going home today. It would feel so strange to be back in my small apartment, getting ready for the new semester at college.

I'd over reacted last night. I shouldn't really have been that angry with Nick. He hadn't promised me anything. The first night I'd seen him, a hot tattooed biker, I'd wanted him for sex.
 

I’d definitely gotten that.

Eventually I might even be able to look back on my time with Nick and not feel hurt.

I sat up in bed and pushed back the sheets. My head was thumping, and from the state of the sheets tangled around my legs, I guessed I'd had quite a disturbed night’s sleep.

I'd planned to pack first thing this morning. I didn't have much to take with me and I hadn't wanted to tempt fate by doing it earlier.
 

Over the weekend, one of the girls had shown me to the laundry room, so I had managed to wash the things I'd borrowed and would be able to return some clothes. I still had the tank top and jeans that Martha had loaned me and that's what I was planning to wear to go home.

I had folded up all the other clothes and left them in a pile on the chair in the corner of the room. Soon I would be back home with my own closet and my own clothes. I tried to smile and feel cheerful, but it wasn't easy.

I got dressed and then decided that I would go for breakfast. I wasn't sure where Chad and Tom would stop along the road back to Vegas, and I figured I better get some food inside me before we left.

I shoved the huge chest and was shocked to realize just how heavy it really was. I guessed being angry last night had given me a bit of extra muscle power.

I managed to move the chest far enough away from the door so I could slip outside, but as I pulled the door open, Nick fell back against my feet.

He'd been sleeping outside the door.

He stretched and looked up at me sleepily. He was clearly hung over, and he squinted at the light coming in from the window on the other side of the room.

"Did you stay there all night?" I asked in disbelief.

He got to his feet with a groan, and massaged his temples. "I don't suppose you have any aspirin, do you?"

I shook my head.

"To answer your question, yes, I did stay there all night. There was another crew here last night, and it got a bit rowdy." He nodded at the door handle. "There's no lock on the door, and I didn't want to leave you alone."

I opened my mouth to try and explain. I was starting to feel embarrassed. What could I say? I saw him talking to another girl and got jealous? It did sound ridiculous.

"I'm a man who can take a hint, Ella," Nick said. He pointed at the heavy chest. "And that is one hell of a hint." He smiled to soften his words, but I could see from the pain in his eyes that I'd hurt him.

I looked down at the floor. "Yeah, about that… I…"

"You don't have to explain yourself to me," Nick said. "I'd had a lot to drink last night, so it was probably a good thing. I've slept in worse places."

We stood there for a moment looking at each other without saying a word.

This was even harder than I had thought it would be. I swallowed hard.

"I've already packed," I said and turned around, gesturing to a small holdall on the bed that Teresa had lent me.

Nick nodded, his face grim. "I can see that."

I nodded. "I guess this is goodbye," I said and tried to smile.

I really wanted to leave and get back to my old life, but this hurt. Deep down, I had a reluctance to leave Nick. Something was pulling at my very core, something I couldn't quite understand.

Nick nodded, but he didn't return my smile. "Take care of yourself," he said.

"I'm not going just yet. I was about to go get some breakfast," I said. "Are you coming?"

Nick shook his head. "I'll leave you to it. I've got some things to do." He leaned forward and his lips grazed my forehead so quickly that I didn't even realize he kissed me until it was over. He pulled away and walked off down the corridor.

I had a huge lump in my throat, and for some stupid reason, I wanted to cry.

I took a deep breath, scooped up the borrowed clothes and headed out, closing the door behind me and walking along the corridor towards the kitchen.

I found Teresa helping Nancy in the kitchen. I set the clothes down on the counter. "Thanks for letting me borrow these. I'm returning them now."

"You can keep them, Ella," Teresa said. "Honestly, it's fine. I'm going to the city tomorrow anyway to buy some new stuff."

I smiled and nodded. I didn't really need the clothes now. I had plenty of my own at home, but I felt rude turning them down.

"We've got used to having you around, Ella," Nancy said as she broke a couple of eggs into a pan. "We will miss you. Maybe you'll come back and see us one day."

I smiled again, knowing that I would never be able to come back. Victor had expressly forbid it.

I ate the bacon and eggs Nancy had prepared for me in the bar, which was strangely quiet. Normally, most people gathered around this time for breakfast and there were usually at least two or three tables occupied.
 

The tables were arranged differently in the morning. Instead of being around the stage, they were in the centre of the room so it was easier to serve.

The food was as good as always, but it was hard to eat with the lump in my throat that wouldn't go away.

I tried to convince myself that I was so emotional because I had been forced together with Nick under these unusual circumstances and that had intensified my feelings. As soon as I got back to New York, I was sure that things would soon get back to normal, and Nick would be a distant memory. A very
pleasant
distant memory, but a distant memory just the same.

I took my plate out to the kitchen and helped Nancy load the dishwasher before I left. I hugged her and Teresa and Tabitha who had joined them in the kitchen.
 

"Thank you for being so kind to me. I'm going to go and find Chad and Tom now. I'm sure we'll be leaving soon. It's been a strange situation, but I've enjoyed getting to know you all."

After we said our goodbyes, I took the pile of clothes back to my room and added them to the holdall I had borrowed from Teresa. Despite the extra clothes, the holdall didn't take up much room, which was good since I was going to have to take it on a bike with me.

I had half hoped that Nick would come back to say one last goodbye, but he hadn't materialized, and I was starting to think that was a good thing. I didn't want to cry in front of anyone today.

I swung the holdall over my shoulder, walked through the bar and out into the parking lot. I blinked at the brightness of the sun.
 

It was already warming up, and I had a feeling it was going to be a hot and uncomfortable ride. But it would be worth it, I thought, imagining myself back in my little New York apartment.
 

I could see Chad and Tom in the far corner of the parking lot, standing beside their gleaming chrome and black bikes. They seemed to be arguing about something, but as I approached them, they fell silent.

"What are you two arguing about?"

When they didn't respond, I raised an eyebrow and put a hand on my hip. "I guess you're both hung over. This is going to be a fun ride back to Vegas,” I said sarcastically. “So which one of you am I riding with?"

Chad looked down at the ground and scratched his beard. “Well, you see… the thing about that, Ella, is…"