Steel & Ice (30 page)

I also started to attend the monthly
Saturday field trips Penny took the teens on. The first time she
asked, I was hesitant. I heard they were going to the historical
museum. Not exactly my idea of a raging good time. I acquiesced
though, as Penny didn’t have her regular chaperone to help manage
the twenty kids who had earned the field trip.

The first time I went, I was none too happy
pulling into the parking lot of the center at nine on a Saturday
morning. Did the museum even open that early?

Penny was darting around her office,
printing charts and who knows what else. She shoved a packet in my
hand. “Here are the kids you’re going to pick up.” She tossed a set
of van keys my way. “Take the green van. The kids’ addresses are
all on that chart. Make sure they have their permission slips
before they get in the van, and make sure they‘re actually signed
by a parent. The address of the museum is on the bottom. Call my
cell when you have them all and we’ll meet at the museum. OK?” She
said it all in a rush. I just nodded my head.

I walked out to the green van I’d seen her
use to pick up kids before. Was I the only one who realized the
white girl was going to be driving a mini-van that had LATINOS
UNITED in giant letters on the side? I guessed not, as I started
picking up the teens on my list. First was Fernie. He lived closest
to the center. I was going to start close and work my way away from
the center, then take them all to meet up with Penny at the museum
on the opposite side of town. I had no idea what I’d gotten
into.

I pulled up to Fernie’s house and honked the
horn. It was too early to be knocking on doors. I wasn’t trying to
get out of the car. They’d have to come to me. He came out with his
mother behind him saying something in Spanish. Fernie seemed
annoyed. I knew that look. It was the one I gave my own mother. He
hopped in the front seat as his mother waved to me. I plastered on
my best smile and waved back.

He seemed surprised to see me. “I didn’t
know you were coming.”

I shot him a glance. “Is that a problem?” It
was also way too early for teenage snarkiness.

“
No. It’s better than Penny.
I mean she’s cool and all, but I know what you did for Genny. That
was muy chido.” Chido, cool. I learned that word in my time with
the teens.

“
And it will stay chido so
long as ya’ll keep your mouths shut about it. Right?” I looked at
him over my glasses. The
I ain’t fucking
around
look.

“
Yeah yeah. I got it. Shit,
her dad and my mom would kill us if they knew. So it’s all
good.”

“
Glad to hear it. I’m glad I
could help. Where to next?” I passed him the list. He was
officially the navigator for this adventure.

“
Go towards McKinney Street.
Juanito and Marcos both live close to there.”

I put the car in drive and pulled away.
“Thanks. And Fernie?”

“
Yeah?”

“
Don’t cuss.”

“
Yeah OK.”

We picked the other teens up, and met Penny
a little before eleven at the museum. I was correct in my initial
assumption that the museum would not be a raging good time. The
kids agreed, but Angelica told me that Penny made them do something
educational and then something fun. Today’s fun was Go-Karts. Hell
yeah! I loved Go-Karts.

After the museum, we had lunch at McDonald’s
before heading to Speed Zone. I had never been there, but had heard
it was fun. I was pleasantly surprised when I walked in and saw a
few arcade games to the side. Penny gave each teen a ticket for a
Go-Kart ride and five tokens. Five tokens? Damn. That was like
someone giving you one Swedish Fish out of the two pound bag, and
then not letting you have anymore.

I shoved a twenty in the token machine and
filled my pockets. “Hey Fernie!” I yelled, holding up two tokens.
“Feel like losing in Tekken?” Really, what teen could resist
that?

“
Simon ese. But don’t be mad
when you lose those tokens.”

Less than five minutes later, I had my hands
in the air, asking who was next. Now I understood why the kids put
up with the museum. After I had beaten all the boys in Tekken, and
made them all start calling me ‘her highness the Tekken queen,’ it
was approaching dusk and time to take the teens home. I was
actually sad for the day to end. I hadn’t had this much fun while
sober in a long time.

I called Chris on my way home. She picked up
and I asked, “Eight Oh Eight tonight?”

“
Fuck. Naw man. Let’s hit up
another spot. What about Tiny’s?”

Tiny’s was a dive bar with an electronic
jukebox she knew I would dominate, and a makeshift dance floor. It
was a bit seedy, and that’s why we liked it. “Yeah, sure. Why no
Eight Oh Eight?”

“
Man, Devon’s been calling
me again. I told him he was getting too serious and he backed off
for a minute, but he’s back on it again sweatin’ my
ass.”

“
You ain’t feelin’ him like
that?”

“
Fuck no. He was fun at
first, but then he wanted to call every day and check up on what I
was doing and who I was with. You know I don’t get down like that.”
No, she didn’t. Chris was only slightly less of a commitment-phobe
than me. She actually had a few relationships that lasted more than
two weeks. I realized J was my first.

“
Well, damn. I kinda liked
Cup Booty.”

“
He did have one fine ass.
Whatevs. I just don’t feel like dealing with him tonight, and I’m
sure he’ll be up in Eight Oh Eight in stalker mode.”

“
It’s all good. I could use
a change of scenery. We haven’t been to Tiny’s for a hot
minute.”

“
You gonna invite
J?”

“
He’s in St. Louis, so it’s
just the ladies tonight.”

“
Aw man, Elle. I’m happy you
found a man for yourself, but I could really use a ladies’ night.
Let’s do it up proper style. I feel like getting too drunk to walk,
so sneaker’s tonight sound good? I can pick you up, and we can get
fucked up at my place before we head out. I got a new mix tape off
the booster we can check out.”

“
Right on. I should be home
by six, so pick me up at seven?”

“
Oh, I thought you were
home? What are you out and about doing?”

I laughed. “Girl, I just whooped nine
teenage boys’ at Tekken. I’m on top of the world!”

“
Fuckin’ A girl. There’s a
story here, but you can tell it to me over a blunt.”

I hung up. Suddenly, my fun and sober day
seemed sullied. It didn’t seem right to tell Chris over a blunt
about my day with the teens. Why did that feel so strange? She
didn’t really ask me about my volunteering, and I didn’t offer much
up. It was oddly private. Why was it private? I couldn’t explain
it. So much of my life had been spent in dingy places and shady
situations. It made my time with the teens sparkle. It was like
when I was on campus. Everything seemed shiny and fresh. I felt
alive. I once had felt most alive on the Eight Oh Eight dance
floor, and I still did, but this was a different kind of alive. I
knew it was different but couldn’t articulate in words why. It just
felt clean, better. Light, instead of darkness.

Chris spared me the questioning of my day
once she picked me up. Even though we weren’t dressing up in heels
and fancy jewelry tonight, we spent just as much time picking out
the perfect jeans that would hug every curve just right, and the
coolest tennis shoes we owned. I rocked royal blue Nike Cortez with
a yellow stripe, and Chris wore her favorite tan Dada’s. Since we
were both tall, we had big feet to match. It sucked sometimes,
because all the clearance shoes were size six or seven. Not tens.
But on the plus side, we were able to wear men’s sneakers, which
came in way more colors and styles than women’s. It was a
sneaker-head’s dream. Chris paired the tan basketball shoes with a
white tank and a tan leather jacket. It was the shit. I paired my
blue Nikes with boat neck matching blue top that was ruched at the
sides, accentuating my curves. We listened to Lil Rob’s summer
nights while we got ready, even though it wasn’t quite summer yet.
Wishful thinking I suppose. It got us ready though, and we were out
the door looking good and feeling alright.

******

We were smoking a blunt with some dudes we
knew in the alley behind Tiny’s when my phone beeped.

J: hey babe. miss me?

ME: always

J: i’m coming back tomorrow but have to hit
up kansas city monday. ride with me?

ME: hell yeah!

ME: miss me?

“
Are you sexting your
fucking man on girls night?” Chris yelled, passing me the
blunt.

“
Shhhh! You’ll wake the
whole fuckin’ neighborhood up. No sexting. I finally get to ride on
the motorcycle.”

“
Rock on. He comin’
here?”

J: always baby. see u tomorrow ;)

ME: can’t wait!!

“
Elle. Elle!” I looked up at
Chris. “Are you sure you’re not sexting? Cuz that’s one goofy
grin.” She said it with her own weed-induced goofy grin, AKA
perma-grin.

“
Shut up and pass the
blunt,” I told Chris, and yes, I had a stupid fucking grin. I was
excited to ride on the bike. Excited to feel my legs wrapped around
J, and the rumble of the bike underneath me.

“
Well, you don’t gotta worry
about me waking up the neighborhood. Seems the Impala over there
has it covered,” Chris told me, nodding towards a pimped out car
pulling into the lot across the alley, bass bumping loud as can be.
I saw two guys park the black Impala towards the back of the empty
lot. It used to be a warehouse of some sort, but became another
vacant building, ripe for vagrants and drug deals. Not that I was
in any place to judge, but I assumed there was some illicit
business about to go down. You’d think they would turn the music
down in order to not be heard. On the other hand, we weren’t
exactly in the greatest neighborhood. It used to be a business
district, but now it was empty buildings and a few scattered dive
bars. I guess not many people saw a bumpin’ Impala as a good enough
reason to bring the cops around.

The Impala sat there for a while. I kept
thinking they must be waiting on someone. The blunt was almost
finished, and no one had come around. Just as we were about to go
back in the bar, I saw two guys, well, boys really, probably no
older than eighteen, walk up to the Impala. They were walking
G-style, with what they probably thought was a swagger in their
gait. They didn’t realize they looked like they were limping.
Dumbasses.

I squinted my eyes, trying to see what was
going on across the alley. I grabbed Chris’ arm to hold her back.
The guys we were smoking with engaged Chris in conversation, and I
continued my spying. I think one of the guys was trying to get
Chris’ phone number.

The two boys walked up to the passenger side
of the Impala. The car was angled so I could see most of the
driver’s side, but little of the passenger side. I saw the corner
of the overly tinted window roll down, and the boys approach. There
was something familiar about the boys. I was pretty damn high, so I
might’ve been paranoid, but I kept staring nonetheless. Maybe I
should’ve been concerned about being obvious, but fuck, I just
smoked a blunt in an alley. I assumed the guys in the car knew I
wasn’t a snitch.

Whatever happened on the passenger side took
less than a minute, and the Impala was pulling away. The two boys
walked back toward the warehouse. As the boys approached a
streetlight, I took a chance and yelled, “Fernie!”

One head turned toward me.
Fuck. Both boys took off running. Fuckin’ Fernie. I had to talk to
him, but really, what could I say?
“I saw
you doing what I assume was something illegal, and also drug
related, while I was in the alley behind Tiny’s Bar puffing a blunt
with two guys I just met.”
Yeah, that
wasn’t gonna work. Shit. After the field trip, it felt like Fernie
and I developed a pseudo-friendship. As much as a teen and an adult
(god, was I an adult?!) could have.

Part of me felt like a raving hypocrite. Who
was I to tell Fernie he needed to get it together, and stop with
all the illegal shit, especially if he was dabbling in coke? It
wasn’t that I was judging him. I cared about him. I didn’t want him
to deal with the shit I did growing up on the streets. Worse, I
didn’t want him dragging Genesis around that shit. Chris shook me
from my inner debate. “Elle, you ready to go back inside?”

“
Yeah. Let’s go,” I said,
heading around front, still a little lost in my thoughts.
Unfortunately, ladies night was a bit of a bust after that. Chris
was into the guy from the alley, so she spent the rest of the
evening chatting him up. I talked with the bartender a bit, but my
head was in a different place. I felt my purse vibrate.

J: wanna stay the night in kc monday
night?

ME: word!

J: pack light. we’ll be on the bike. i wanna
show u something on the way.

ME: k. c u then. i still miss u.

J: i miss u always baby.

I put my phone away, and was back to being
lost in thought when my purse vibrated again. What else did J have
to say?

LARRY: u out?

ME: yep

LARRY: com gt me?

ME: fuckin a larry

LARRY: plzzzz…

ME: where r u?

LARRY:
1
^st
down

ME: fuck that’s far from ur house!