Stepbrother Backstage (The Hawthorne Brothers Book 3) (29 page)

Luke turns away from Cash, looking for the world like his
brother’s just spat in his face. There’s a bad streak in the blood these
brothers share—and I’m starting to get the feeling that it runs very, very
deep.

“Well,” Cash goes on, his ripped body still humming in the
wake of the barely-avoided brawl, “I’m off. You wanna ride with?”

My heart thrills for just a second at his offer…until I see
that I’m not the one he’s extended it to. Instead, his eyes are fixed on
Sophie, who looks just as surprised as I feel—though not as gutted, I’m sure.

“Oh. Uh…OK,” she says uncertainly, her eyes darting first
toward Luke, then toward me. “Yeah, why not. I haven’t really seen much of the
town here.”

“Great,” Cash replies, nodding at the truck waiting in the
long driveway, “Though fair warning, there’s not much of a town to see. It’s
kind of a shit hole, to be honest.”

“Well, now I
have
to see it,” Sophie laughs,
following Cash up the dock.

I stand on the gently swaying boards, watching the two of them
walking away together. It’s a perfectly innocuous outing, not the least bit
charged—so then why do I feel like I’ve been slapped in the face?

“I didn’t know those two, uh, got along so well…” I say to
Luke, my voice hollow.

“Mhm,” he grunts back, his jaw clamped shut. He stares as
Cash leads Sophie to the pickup, and tries in vain not to look furious. He
doesn’t seem too thrilled about their little adventure, either.

“But
you
and Sophie,” I bait him, taking full
advantage of his distracted state, “You two already have a history…”

“What?” he snaps, whipping around to face me.

“You know each other from school, I mean,” I go on. Looks
like I’ve hit a nerve, here. And not a very concealed one, either.

“Right,” Luke replies, shoving his hands into the pockets of
his jeans.

He’s gone shirtless this afternoon, as well. His body is
just as sculpted as Cash’s, though without the ink and occasional scar. But
whereas Cash’s body seems to have been built up from combat, boxing, and MMA
brawls, Luke’s is more finely honed. He’s an athlete and a Crossfit buff, I’ve
learned. A star runner for the Sheridan track team, when he was an undergrad.
In fact, that’s how he earned his scholarship there. When my artsy sister would
have ever been in the same room as a jock is beyond me, though…

“How did you guys meet? At school?” I decide to press him,
sitting back down at the edge of the dock.

“She never mentioned?” he asks, moving to stand beside me. I
sense a note of disappointment in his voice.

“Nope. We don’t really talk much, on a regular basis,” I
inform him, letting my feet dangle into the water.

“Huh,” he says, crossing his arms.

“So, do you guys have mutual friends, or…?” I prod.

“Actually,” he says, looking down at me, “I was her teacher.
Well, TA.”

My jaw falls open as I absorb this information. “You were
her teacher’s assistant?” I ask him, agog.

“That’s right,” he replies. “Don’t look so shocked. Not all
the Hawthorne men are hulked-out neanderthals like my dear big brother.”

“It's just…That’s not what I was imagining…” I reply,
shaking my head, “About how you guys met, I mean.”

“What exactly
were
you imagining?” he asks, a slow
grin creeping across his face.

“I’m sure you can guess,” I say, smiling back.

“Not too hard to,” he laughs, rolling his eyes, “But you’re
way off. Sophie was in the econ class I was assisting last semester.

“Then why haven’t you mentioned that to anyone here?” I ask
him. “Sounds to me like you’re hiding something…”

“I’m not hiding anything,” he shrugs, “TAs only have a
couple one-on-one meetings with their students during the semester. I just
graded a couple of her papers. That’s it.”

“You sure that’s not a euphemism for something?” I tease
him.

“Christ. Someone’s got a one-track mind,” he replies,
nudging me with his foot.

“You didn’t answer the question,” I remind him, enjoying the
camaraderie despite myself.

“You Porter women are relentless, aren’t you?” he says, “I
don’t know which one of you is the most stubborn.”

“It’s a four way tie,” I say lightly.

“Sounds familiar,” he replies.

A silence unfolds between us, the jocular mood fading away
as we hear the pickup truck start with a wheeze and take off down the driveway.
It’s ridiculous to be jealous of Sophie for getting some alone time with Cash;
ridiculous to be suspicious of his motives for taking her on a little joy
ride…yet here I am, all jealousy and suspicion. What a charming combination.

“I’m gonna take this thing out,” Luke says tersely, walking
over to the single-seat kayak and lowering himself in. “Enjoy the peace and
quiet.”

“Thanks,” I say wistfully, drawing my knees into my chest.

Luke grabs the paddle and pushes himself away from the dock.
He chops at the water with strong, determined strokes, and soon he’s
disappeared from sight around an outcropping of trees. For perhaps the first
time since arriving here at the lake house, I’m all alone.

I should be used to the feeling by now, having spent much of
these past few years by myself in tiny apartments, tiny cubicles, the private
world of my own grief that opened wide within my tiny self after Dad died. But,
surrounded by all this huge open space, my own loneliness is amplified tenfold.
Sitting beside the expansive waters of the lake, underneath the arching sky,
among ancient rocks and trees…I feel smaller than ever. More alone than ever.
But even so, I realize there’s only one person who could fill the massive void
of my lonesomeness. And my little sister is currently riding shotgun in his
truck.

Perfect. Just
perfect
.

Chapter Seven

I retire to my bedroom absurdly early that night, claiming
to have a headache. What’s truly aching is that bruised, beating muscle in my
chest, but no one else needs to know that. This little vacation is almost
halfway over, so why do I feel more tense and exhausted than when I arrived? I
lay wide awake in my guest room as the hours slip by, and before I know it the
night is nearly over, without my having slept a wink. What I wouldn’t give for
a little stress relief of the kind Cash and I enjoyed that first night at the
motel…

Despite his avowed pledge to “make my stay worthwhile”, I’ve
barely seen hide or hair of Cash since that first night we spent here. And
trust me, I’d like to see all of that hide if I could get another chance. He
said himself that he doesn’t give a shit about what our parents’ relationship
is, so what the hell gives? Did he just lose interest in me overnight? I decide
to consult the expert on all matters concerning my love life. In other words, I
give Allie a call.

“MaddieMaddieMaddie!” she squeals upon picking up.

“What’re you, happy to hear from me or something?” I ask,
flopping down onto the guest room’s twin bed.

“Just a little,” she replies.

“I hope I didn’t call too late,” I go on, glancing at the
digital clock pulsing 3:00am in big red digits. “I was really just going to
leave you a message…”

“It’s never too late for my best friend,” she says
cheerfully. I hear a far less perky, very distinctly male voice grumble in the
background, despite Allie’s shushing.

“Got a visitor?” I ask.

“Something like that,” she replies. “Brian. Or…Ryan? I don’t
remember. He just went to get a glass of water, so I can’t even fact check…”

“God, I’ve missed you,” I laugh.

“What, haven’t you had a slew of hookups since you broke the
seal a couple nights back?” she asks mischievously. “I still can’t believe my
little Maddie is all grown up and screwing random hotties in motels…”

“Just the one hottie,” I reminder her, rolling onto my side,
“And, uh…Not so random either, it turns out.”

“Excuse me. What does
that
mean?” Allie demands.

I bite my lip—an impressive feat, given how far my foot is
jammed into my mouth. I’m torn between wanting to tell Allie everything about
Cash and wanting to give her as few details as possible. She was more than
supportive of my sexy one night stand, but what if she’s weirded out by what’s
come after? It doesn’t bother me that John Hawthorne and my mom are…whatever
they are to each other, but I can’t count on anyone else feeling the same way,
even if that someone is Allie. I may just have to get a little…creative with
the details.

“You’ll never believe it,” I laugh dryly, “But the guy I
slept with that first night? The one I sent you a picture of? He’s…uh…a
local
.”

“Get out,” Allie breathes. I can practically hear her big
green eyes widening into dinner plates. “He lives in that middle-of-nowhere
town you’re staying with your family?”

“He does, yeah,” I tell her—not exactly a lie. “I’ve even
bumped into him a few times,” also, more true than not.

“Has anything else happened with him?” Allie asks
breathlessly.

“There was another kiss,” I allow, my entire body recalling
how it feels to lock lips with Cash Hawthorne, “But nothing else so far.”

“What the hell are you waiting for?” Allie laughs, “Go jump
those country boy bones while you still can!”

“What about our little bet?” I challenge her, “It won’t
really have been a one night stand if I sleep with him again, right?”

“Do you honestly think I give a single shit about that
stupid bet when the best sex of your life in on the line?!” Allie all but
screeches. “What kind of a shitty friend do you think I am?”

“So I take it I have your blessing, then?” I laugh.

“You have
all
of my blessings. Every last one,” she
tells me, “Who knows? Maybe this one night stand of yours could turn into your first
relationship with a guy that actually turns you on. At all.”

“What a novel idea,” I say sarcastically. But her suggestion
sticks in my heart. I’ve hardly dared to let myself think the word
relationship
since meeting Cash Hawthorne. It doesn’t even seem to exist in the same
universe as him. That’s the main reason I didn’t insist on the two of us just
leaving this place together and carrying out our little affair somewhere else.
If we were to continue things outside of this place, we’d be risking rushing
into some kind of relationship. And knowing me, I’d mess it up immediately. As
long as we stay here, united by coincidence, there’s far less pressure. Cash
hardly seems like a relationship sort of guy. But if I’ve learned one thing
this week, it’s that anything is possible…why not Cash and I as a pair?

If he hasn’t already staked his claim on another Porter
sister, that is.

A soft, rhythmic tapping catches my ear as Allie mutters
something to Brian-or-Ryan. This big rustic house has a vocabulary of taps,
clangs, and stirrings all its own. I’ve been told to ignore them, but as this
new tapping reasserts itself, I sit up in my modest twin bed. My heart starts
hammering in my ears, much more loudly than the noise that’s set it off.

Someone’s knocking at my bedroom door.

“Allie, hold on,” I whisper into the receiver, swinging my
legs over the side of my bed.

“What’s happening?” I hear my best friend say as I make my
way across the room.

With my heart lodged firmly in my throat, I twist the handle
and pull the door open an inch. The warm light from my bedside lamp falls
through the narrow opening, illuminating a vibrant set of very familiar hazel
eyes.

“Maddie, are you OK?” Allie’s tinny voice asks as I stare up
at my early-morning visitor.

“I have to call you back,” I mutter faintly into the phone,
hanging up abruptly as Cash pushes the door open to reveal himself.

“Fancy meeting you here,” Cash grins his voice hushed. He
leans against the doorway and letting his eyes travel up and down my scantly-clad
body. I’m suddenly very aware of how tiny my cotton shorts and tank top really
are, and cross my arms compulsively over my chest.

“What do you want, Cash?” I whisper, though my every nerve
rallies at the sight of him.

“What’s with the attitude?” he asks, cocking his head. A
single curl falls across his forehead, and I have to force myself to keep
taking deep breaths.

“It’s three in the morning,” I inform him, “Normal people
are asleep at this hour.”

“And yet, here we are,” he smiles, taking a step toward me.

Apprehension and anticipation war for control of my body.
This is the first time Cash and I have been alone since our sultry kiss the
other night. But we’re also surrounded by several sleeping family members who
could discover us at any minute. I may have only spent one night with Cash, but
I know that I can’t keep quiet once his hands are on me.

“You shouldn’t be here,” I tell him. “It’s not…You know…”

“What?” he asks, laying his hands on my bare arms, “
Proper
?”

“Fuck proper,” I snap, “It’s just not cool of you, Cash.
You’ve been straight up ignoring me ever since the first night we got here. You
can’t just stroll on into my room and expect a booty call after—”

“Whoa, whoa,” Cash says, holding me fast, “Slow down,
Maddie. What do you mean I’ve been ignoring you?”

I stare at him, unspeaking. Cash Hawthorne may be handsome
as hell, but he is mighty slow on the uptake.

“You’ve barely said a word to me in the past few days,” I
spell it out for him, “You keep avoiding being alone with me, or even being in
the same room with me. And this afternoon, you just ran off with Sophie—”

“Well yeah,” he says, still not seeing the problem.

“Well
yeah
,” I echo, trying to ignore the warmth of
his hands against my skin.

“Maddie, I’ve been making sure to throw the rest of them off
our trail,” he tells me, as if
I’m
the crazy one.

“…What?” I ask faintly.

“I mean, I don’t give a shit about what our families think,
but I still don’t want them all over us, you know?” he says, running his hands
down my arms, “Playing it like we’re not cool, taking Sophie out for a drive,
it was all just the scramble the signal. You didn’t think I’d actually lost
interest or whatever, did you?”

“I…No…” I lie, badly as ever. I feel a hot blush rising to
my cheeks, which only grows in intensity the longer Cash’s hazel eyes linger on
my face.

“You’re adorable when you’re bullshitting,” he grins at me,
circling my slender waist with his inked arms.

“Shut up,” I mutter, though I can’t keep my face from
breaking into a smile.

“There it is,” he murmurs, pulling me to him. Instinctively,
I lace my arms around his neck. It’s crazy how familiar his body already feels
against mine.

“You couldn’t have just told me what you were up to?” I
chide him gently.

“I don’t know if you’ve figured this out yet,” he says,
raising an eyebrow, “But the whole
explaining myself
thing isn’t really
for me.”

“You don’t say,” I laugh softly, savoring the feel of his
hard body against mine. As my apprehensions fall away, my body rises with
renewed want of him. I’m keenly aware of the twin bed, standing just paces away
from us. What I wouldn’t give to be bent over that thing, with Cash poised over
me—

“Come on,” he says, cutting off my steamy train of thought.
He takes my hand in his and tugs me toward the door, “Let’s go.”

“G-go?” I splutter, digging my heels into the hardwood
floor, “Go where?”

“What’s the matter?” Cash grins, looking at me over his
broad shoulder, “You scared of a little adventure, Porter?”

There it is again: a challenge I can’t refuse. I have no
idea what Cash has in store for us, but I can’t very well back down now.

“Of course not,” I tell him, playing it cool, “Lead the
way.”

We pad through the enormous, slumbering home, silencing our
footfalls as best we can at this early hour. I’m convinced that the loudest
noise on hand is my wrecking ball of a heart, but still we make it out of the
house undetected. Cash leads me out through the kitchen door, onto the
dew-slicked patio. A nearly full moon hangs in the sky over the lake, lighting
our path across the sprawling back lawn down toward the lake. A million stars
careen overhead in a dizzying canopy, and I almost lose my footing trying to
take them all in. Luckily, I have Cash’s hand to steady me.

“This place is amazing,” I whisper, as we step out onto the
darkened dock. “I can’t believe you got to grow up here.”

“Yeah,” he allows, letting his gaze follow mine up to the
heavens, “As bad as things ever got, at least I always had this.”

“Did things get…really bad?” I ask tentatively, as Cash
draws me along the planks.

He doesn’t answer me for a long moment. I can sense that
we’ve reached the threshold of what most people know about him. What he ever
dares to confide in another person. I can feel the massive effort it takes for
him to continue, see it in his very bearing.

“They did,” he finally says, drawing to a stop before me.
“I’d feel fucking stupid complaining about it, with what happened to your
family—”

“Don’t,” I tell him, resting my hands on his tapered waist,
“There are different kinds of bad. I know that.”

Cash draws a deep breath, bracing himself. “Well. We sort of
lost our mom, too. Only, not to any freak accident or illness or whatever.
Just…because that’s what she decided she wanted. She bailed on us when we were
kids. Didn’t dig the whole ‘cabin in the woods’ vibe my dad set up. Wanted more
things
. More money. Joke was on her, though—Dad’s business took off
right after she hit the road. He built this place, let the three of us run wild
all over it, just us guys…”

I hold my tongue as he goes on. Suddenly, the Hawthorne
boys’ aversion to female company is starting to make sense.

“She’s living on the East Coast now. Boston. Married some
real slick lawyer type and popped out another couple kids with him. Girls, like
she always wanted. They’re teenagers, by now. And hopefully giving her all
kinds of hell.”

“I grew up in a family with three girls who were all
teenagers at the same time,” I remind him, “Trust me, your mom had her hands
full.”

“Shit, listen to me…” Cash mutters, laughing roughly,
“Spilling my guts like—”

“I want to know these things about you, Cash,” I assure him,
circling his waist, “If you’ll let me listen…you can spill your guts all
night.”

“Fine,” he says, with a crooked grin, “But I’m not doing it
on dry land.”

“What…?” I ask, as he tugs me toward the edge of the dock.

Bobbing on the water is a long wooden canoe, with benches
for two. The boys must have moved it down to the water with the kayaks this
afternoon. And from the look on Cash’s face, I imagine this is what he had in
mind all the while.

My handsome companion hops down into the sleek vessel,
offering up his hand to help me in. I’m far more nervous than I have any cause
to be. Is it the glassy black waters of the lake that has my heart racing? Or
the depth of what Cash is revealing to me about himself? Or simply the fact of
being close to him, out there where no one is bound to stumble upon us…

“You coming or what?” Cash asks me, his bright smile shining
in the blackness of the early morning.

“You’re damn right I am,” I breathe, grabbing hold of his
firm, strong hand and stepping down into the canoe.