Stepbrother Backstage (The Hawthorne Brothers Book 3) (9 page)

I have a rather pressing question for my sister: What the
hell gives?

The second our siblings’ footsteps fade into the distance,
Finn and I bolt back to shore as quietly as possible. He stands on the shore,
and for a moment I’m transfixed by the full, gorgeous view of his naked body.
But I only get to admire it for a second before he’s ducked back into his camp
to get dressed without saying a word to me. I throw my own clothes back onto my
dripping body, my hands trembling all the while. The close encounter with our
siblings has me disoriented as hell. I glance over my shoulder to see Finn
quickly breaking down his camp, jamming everything into his backpack and
hoisting it onto his shoulders.

“Are you leaving?” I ask him, taken aback.

“Yeah, of course,” he replies, “I’ll head back first—wait a
minute before following so we don’t run into anyone together.”

This quick return to reality is throwing me for a rather
unpleasant loop. After the incredible moment we just shared, I don’t want to
jump right back to sneaking around and feeling ashamed of my feelings for Finn.
I just want to enjoy his company for a moment. But he’s gone straight into
survival mode after our near run-in with Luke and Sophie. By the time I manage
to tie up my boots, he’s got his whole camp packed up and ready to go.

“I’ll see you back at the house,” he says firmly, eyes hard
on my face, “And, Anna?”

“Yeah?” I reply softly.

He grabs my hand and pulls me to him, kissing me hard and
deep one more time.

“You’re fucking amazing,” he whispers roughly, his brown
eyes cutting straight through me. And just like that, he turns around and treks
off into the greenery, leaving me at the lake’s shore. I stare after him,
utterly baffled by this morning’s events. But as completely unexpected and
bonkers as this sexy encounter was, I think
fucking amazing
is a pretty
good note to end on.

One thing’s for sure. I’m gonna need to walk this off before
heading back to the house.

Holding my camera in numb hands, I set off in the opposite
direction of Finn. I walk in a daze, pinching myself now and again to make sure
that this isn’t just some sex-crazed dream. But no—the ground beneath my feet
is solid, the air in my lungs is crisp, and Finn and I totally just got each
other off in the lake. A goofy, bemused smile spreads across my face as I
replay the events of the early morning in my mind’s eye. Finn’s gorgeous body
rising out of the lake, the fire in his eyes as he pulled me to him in the
water, the way his hands felt as they explored my body. My entire body.

I trek absentmindedly through the woods, gathering my hair
back up into a ponytail once it dries and snapping pictures along the way. I
have no idea where I’m going, really, or how much time has passed. But I can’t
worry about things like time and space at a time like this, now can I? There
are too many unanswered questions ricocheting around my mind. What are Finn and
I to each other, after that hookup? Can there be hope to be anything at all,
given our family’s situation? And what about the Luke and Sophie thing, what am
I to make of that? So lost am in my own thoughts that I barely even look up as
I reach the summit of a high hill that overlooks the lake.

That is, until I find that I am once again not quite alone
out here.

Luke and Sophie are sitting side-by-side on a smooth, flat
rock, looking out at the gorgeous sunrise view. They’re wearing running clothes
and clutching coffee mugs, their other belongings spread out around them.
Little do they know that this is our
second
run-in this morning. Trying
to play it as cool as it possible, given the situation, I take a step forward
and make my presence known.

“Oh, hey you guys,” I say tentatively.

They whip around to face me at once, wearing identical
plastered-on smiles. I have to struggle to keep from laughing at how borderline
deranged their expressions look. It’s only when they turn around to face me
that I notice my sister’s flushed cheeks and glassy eyes…not to mention the
fact that her sweatshirt is on backwards.

What have we here? I think to myself, looking back and forth
between them.

“Hey Anna,” Luke says casually, “You
’
re
up early.”

“So are you,” I reply, glancing at his untied shoelaces.

“We were out for a run,” Sophie says quickly, “Gotta work
off all the meat and potatoes Mom keeps making, right?”

“Mhm,” I mutter, fidgeting with my camera. I raise the
device to my face and look away, trying to keep my cool. Do they honestly think
that they’re pulling one over on me right now? Sure, their heavy breathing and
flushed skin
could
be the result of a vigorous run, but I get the
feeling that a different sort of vigorous activity may have been going on just
before I arrived.

What I don’t understand is why that makes me so
angry
.

“
Well, I
’
m
probably gonna head back,” Luke goes on, gathering his stuff.

“I might just walk back with Anna,” Sophie says pointedly,
catching my eye, “If that
’
s cool with her, I mean.”

“Sure,” I tell her, concentrating solely on my camera. What
else am I gonna say?

“See you back there,” Luke murmurs to Sophie. I can
practically hear the lovesickness in his voice.

“See you later,” she replies, her voice tight and anxious.

I don’t turn around as Luke makes his way past me into the
woods. I’m too busy trying to get a hold of myself. It would be pretty
hypocritical of me to judge Sophie for getting it on with a Hawthorne boy. It’s
not our particular relationship with the Hawthorne’s that has me fuming about
this little scene. It’s that Sophie never mentioned a thing to me about her
true relationship with Luke. I’m guessing this fling isn’t exactly new. That,
coupled with the fact that she just tried to hide it from me once again has me
super pissed off. And more than a little hurt. I guess we really have grown out
of confiding in each other.

“I
’
m ready for my close-up,” Sophie
grins at me as I swing my lens around to capture the sun-warmed sky.

“You
’
re such a ham,” I tell her
bluntly, turning away from her once more, “What are you, already withdrawing
from the spotlight after one week away from acting school?”

“You know me,” she laughs, a bit manically, “Always the
attention hog. Middle child syndrome. You understand.”

I don’t share in her laughter, mostly because her love of
attention is part of what’s making me see red. She’s been carrying on this
thing with Luke right under our noses and isn’t even making the effort of
keeping it a secret. Does she want the entire family to find out so she can be
at the center of another big drama? Can we go two weeks without Sophie
concocting another scandal to shove in our faces? I know I’m being unkind,
thinking of my sister this way, but I can’t help it. Maybe what I’m pretty mad
about is that seeing her here with Luke, I understand how fucked up it is of us
to get involved with Hawthorne boys. Our mom is just settling in out here with
John. Could their relationship really survive their kids hooking up?

“Are you coming?” I ask my sister, shrugging off the
question for now, “I want to get some more shots before I lose this light.”

“Right. Sure. I
’
m coming,
”
Sophie mutters, following along in my wake.

She walks behind me the whole way home. Not a single word
passes between us the whole way. I don’t know exactly what’s going on with her
and Luke, but I know that it complicates what I have with Finn.

As if we needed another complication.

Chapter Five

Just as I was getting used to the strange family dynamic in
the lake house was easier than I expected, so is adjusting to this shift in my
relationship with Finn. Sure, it’s not exactly a conventional pairing, but this
is the most excited I’ve ever been about a guy. I’m relieved to finally have my
desire for him out in the open, and to know that he feels the same way.

Well, “out in the open” might be an overstatement. Our
mutual attraction is understood between us, but fiercely guarded from our
families’ attention. Now that my suspicions about Luke and Sophie have been
confirmed, the last thing I want to do is have me and Finn become the lit fuse
that sends this whole tinderbox up in flames. And with the usual tensions
between my mom and Maddie starting to mount as well, I have to keep my own
personal affairs under wraps for the time being.

Now that the seal has been broken, Finn and I set to making
up for lost time. The very same day after our clandestine meeting in the woods,
I’m woken late at night by a soft knock on the bedroom door. My entire body
thrills to see Finn standing there on the threshold. We don’t exchange a word
as he wraps me up in his arms, locks the door behind him, and all but carries
me across the room to the narrow bed.

We memorize the taste of each other, learning each others’
bodies in the quiet, darkened room. Knowing that any of our family members
could stumble on us at any moment only adds to our urgency. And though we don’t
have sex that night, we do just about everything else. We doze off for a mere
couple of hours before Finn sneaks back out to his own bedroom, leaving me with
a searing, lingering kiss.

From that night on, the pattern is established. Finn comes
into my bed late at night and leaves before the break of day. I walk on air for
the long days in between, spacey and unfocused from lack of sleep and
blissfully sated by Finn’s touch. I feel like a woman possessed, my interest in
food and drink waning as my hunger for Finn grows. We barely look at each other
in the presence of our families, feigning complete indifference. The real nature
of our relationship is a secret only we know.

And I mean for it to stay that way.

Early one morning towards the end of our first week at the
lake house, Finn and I lay in my twin bed as the sky begins to go gray with
sunlight. Our naked bodies are entwined beneath the sheets, and I can scarcely
tell where his body ends and mine begins. Though we still haven’t officially
“done the deed,” my nights with Finn are the most erotic I’ve ever passed with
anyone. The sex I’ve had so far in life has been immature, groping, and hardly
adequate. Finn’s foreplay blows the efforts of all my previous lovers clear out
of my mind. The first hint of day is his cue to leave, but today he pauses,
propping himself up on his elbow and running a hand down along my side.

“Hey,” he whispers, his brown eyes gleaming even in the low
light, “Do you have any plans tonight?”

“Just the usual, I hope,” I murmur with a smile, rolling
onto my back beneath him.

“You can count on that,” he grins, tracing the outline of my
bare breast with a light touch. “But
before
that… I was wondering if you
still wanted to see me play?”

“R-really?” I stammer, pulling myself onto my forearms.

“Of course,” he replies, “The Few is playing a show tonight
at some shitty dive bar a couple hours away. Thought you might want to come
with.”

“I thought your shows were too tough for the likes of little
old me?” I tease, giving him a playful nudge.

“Well, you’re a lot tougher than I would have guessed,” he
says, eyes hard on my face. “So, what do you say? Are you in?”

“I’m in,” I whisper, bringing my lips to his. I shiver as he
takes my bottom lip between his teeth, giving me a sharp bite.

“See you tonight then,” he murmurs, “I’d spend the day
bracing myself if I were you. My crowd doesn’t exactly go easy on newcomers.”

“I’m sure I’ll be just fine,” I say as he gets dressed and
slips back down the hall to his own room.

But despite my bravado, I do spend the better part of the
morning trying to compose myself. I’ve been dying to see Finn’s band play, to
see him in his element. But he’s right—shitty dive bars aren’t exactly my
scene. I’ll have to do my best not to stick out like a sore thumb. I decide to
bring my camera along and take some shots of the band as they play. If I can’t
be part of the group from the get go, at least I can be useful as I get to know
them.

I’ve promised my sisters a little girl time this afternoon,
which the three of us decide to spend sunbathing on the dock. We convene on the
warm planks, bikini-clad and sun-screened. Even though we’ve been under the
same roof this whole week, we’ve barely been in the same place long enough to
say three words to each other. I can’t help but notice that things are a little
stilted when the three of us get down to chatting. For lack of anything more
substantial to talk about, we land on the subject of college.

“I give you a lot of credit,”
Maddie
tells
me, sitting on the dock with a red bandana tying up her hair, “I wouldn
’
t have had the wherewithal to take a gap year before college at
your age.”

“Well, you knew what you wanted to go to school for,” I
reply with a shrug, “I
’
m still feeling it out.”

“I just couldn
’
t wait to get out of the
house,” Sophie sighs, “Don
’
t get me wrong, I love my
program at Sheridan. But more than anything, getting away from Mom was the
priority.”

My patience with Sophie is wearing incredibly thin by this
point. Not only is she getting sloppy about keeping her thing with Luke under
wraps, she’s still playing the misunderstood middle child card for anyone that
will listen. As if she’s somehow had it worse than the rest of us, even when
she was the one to get to escape to college.

“Yeah, well. Imagine being the only one in the house with
her after Dad died,” I say sharply, not caring if she’s offended or not.

I can see Maddie and Sophie trading glances out of the
corner of my eye. My blood rises to a simmer at their trying to handle me. As
if Maddie hasn’t spent this whole week fluttering around on the brink of
freaking out, threatening to destroy this delicate little ecosystem. She’s
already been on the edge of bailing on us about three separate times. And once
she has her big inevitable fight with Mom, who’s gonna be left here picking up
the pieces? That’s right. Me.

“So, uh…have you given any thought to how you
’
ll
spend the year?” my oldest sister asks me, trying to make everything bright and
shiny as usual.

“Mostly just building up my photography portfolio,” I reply
by rote, “I want to get some more portraits and event photography.”

“I could hire you for the next ReImaged party!” Maddie says,
her voice bubbly with excitement. I have to fight to keep from rolling my eyes.
I don’t exactly see myself getting lost in the corporate mire that my oldest
sister has wandered into. I know I’m being cruel in my thoughts, but I’m just
so sick of her chipper attitude—acting like the three of us are super close
when we barely see each other, much less know the first thing about each
other’s lives.

“Yeah, maybe,” I tell her, watching her excitement deflate.
Feeling guilty, I begin to backpedal. “I was thinking of heading in a less
corporate direction, though. Finn
’
s letting me tag along
to his band
’
s show tonight to take some shots of them,
actually.”

My sisters’ whip around to face me, and I feel my spine go
rigid. I didn’t mean to mention Finn at all, let alone his other life away from
this house. I feel somehow like I’ve betrayed him, just bringing it up.

“Finn
’
s in a band?!” Sophie crows,
mouth hanging open.

“Yeah. He
’
s the lead vocalist,” I tell
her, trying to keep the protectiveness from my voice.

“But I
’
ve barely heard a full sentence
out of him,”
Maddie
objects.

“Yeah. I didn't realize he spoke in full sentences,” Sophie
piles on.

My jaw tenses angrily as my sisters mock Finn. They don’t
know the first thing about him. But is that really surprising? They hardly know
the first thing about me, either.

“Maybe that
’
s because neither of you
lets anyone else get a word in. Ever think of that?” I all but spit, looking
angrily between my big sisters.

“Whoa, Anna…” Sophie says admonishingly, “That
’
s a little harsh.
”

“Yeah, well. The truth can be a bitch,” I mutter, pulling
myself quickly to my feet.

“Did we do something wrong?”
Maddie asks
anxiously,
wringing her hands, “You seem really pissed off at us.”

I stand looking down at the two of them, knowing full well
that I’m overreacting. But there’s so much unresolved tension between us, so
many things left unsaid. I can’t help but feel the weight of all that baggage
with every new slight, however minor. Especially when the situation here at the
lake house is so precarious.

“I just wish the two of you would think about someone
besides yourselves once in a while,” I tell them honestly.

“Anna, what are you talking about?” Sophie asks, fear
flashing in her blue eyes. Her denial just makes the distance between us feel
that much more impassable.

“Come on,” I say quietly, “
You can
’
t play dumb with me, you guys. I know you too well for that.”

Sudden tears sting my eyes as my sisters look up at me,
unspeaking. Before I give into the sadness and disappointment that threaten to
overwhelm me, I turn on my heel and march back up to the house. I’m not going
to let my sisters’ interference ruin my time tonight. This invitation to watch
Finn play was hard won, and I know he doesn’t take my presence at his show
lightly. This is my chance to show him what I’m made of, and I won’t let
worries about my sisters’ behavior ruin it.

***

The White Stripes blast from my laptop as I consider my
reflection in the bedroom mirror. My high waisted denim cutoffs, white crop
top, and black combat boots strike a good balance between not giving a shit and
trying too hard. My white blonde hair is artfully tousled, flowing down between
my bare shoulders. Stepping up to the full length mirror, I apply a swipe of
bright red lipstick—the finishing touch.

“Not bad, for a rookie,” I mutter, red lips widening into an
excited smile.

My bedroom door swings open unexpectedly, and I jump back a
step to avoid getting hit in the newly made-up face. Finn steps across the
threshold and stops dead in his tracks at the sight of me.

“Fuck,” he growls, his eyes raking down along my body,
“Anna, you look incredible.”

“What, this old thing?” I joke, fluttering my eyelashes,
“Just something I threw together.”

“Uh huh,” he grins, not at all convinced, “You sure you’re
not pulling a little rocker chick drag right now?”

“What, is it too much?” I ask, suddenly self-conscious.
Again, I’m shocked and a little concerned at how much sway Finn holds over my
emotions.

“I was just kidding, babe,” he laughs, laying his hands on
my hips, “You look great.”

“Don’t,” I mutter, glancing over his shoulder at the open
door, “Someone could—”

“Hey kids!” I hear my mom chirp from the hallway.

Finn and I leap apart as Robin appears at the door, all
smiles.

“Mom. What is it?” I ask, flustered.

“Just seeing if you two are gonna be around for dinner,” she
beams at us.

“We’re heading out to a show, actually,” Finn tells her
flatly.

“Ooh, what show?” she asks, eyes wide.

“Just a show,” he says, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“So, no dinner then?” she asks slowly.

“No, Mom,” I reply.

“Not even a little snack?”

“We’re good.”

“I could pack something up—”

“Robin,” I cry, exasperated, “I managed to feed myself for three
months while you were out here playing dream house with John. I think between
the two of us Finn and I will figure it out just fine.”

She stands in the doorway, staring at me. A flash of anger
lights up the gold in her eyes, but I know she won’t explode in front of Finn.
She saves her mean streak for us girls.

“All right then,” she says, with a cold smile, “You two have
a wonderful time tonight.”

Robin turns away sharply and storms down the hallway,
muttering under her breath all the while. Finn turns to me, eyebrows raised.

“What the hell was that?”

“Remember how you said John would show his true colors
eventually?” I ask him, shucking on a green army jacket, “Well, you just got a
peek at Robin’s.”

“Fuck,” he says, wrapping an arm around my waist, “She must
have been hell to get along with, growing up.”

“All nine circles of it,” I reply with a laugh, “But I don’t
want to talk about my bat shit crazy mom right now, OK? I just want to get out
of this goddamn house.”

“I can help with that,” Finn says, kissing the top of my
head before walking out of the bedroom ahead of me.

I smile goofily at the intimate, protective gesture,
trailing along behind him down the stairs. I’ve been wondering whether he
thinks of us as vacation fuck buddies or something more lasting. Dare I
say…romantic? We haven’t had much of an opportunity to do any normal-couple
things together, but every once in a while a tender gesture like a kiss on the
head will crop up out of nowhere. Maybe there’s a softer side to Finn Hawthorne
after all?

“Pick up the pace, kid,” he barks over his shoulder, taking
the stairs two at a time, “Sound check is in half an hour. I can’t have your
sorry ass holding us up.”