Stepbrother With Benefits 13 (Third Season) (3 page)

I cuddle up closer to him, nuzzling my cheek against his.  Then, um...

There's noises.  Which isn't exactly strange, because there's always some kind of noises, but these noises, are... not the best noises.

It's my mom.  Outside in the hall.  Which is fine.  Maybe.  Oh no...

I stare at the door quick, but Ethan just shrugs.

"It's cool," he says.  "I locked it."

"Oh, good," I say.

I mean, my mom knows, but it's probably just a little more comfortable if she doesn't randomly walk in on us naked.  I'm actually the only one fully naked, though.  I don't think this is any better.

Then I hear another noise.  Well, who cares?  It's fine, right.  This noise is, um...

"Shit," Ethan says, staring at the foot of my bed.

"What?" I ask, but I don't even have to.

My laptop is still on, the webchat is still connected, and staring at us from Ethan's computer is...

"You didn't close your door?" I ask Ethan, panicked.

"I didn't see a good reason to!" Ethan says.  He's nowhere near as panicked as me, even though I think he should be.  Yes, he really should be.

"You didn't even close the webchat, Ethan."

"It's just us," he reminds me.  "I didn't think it mattered."

"Well, it matters!"

Hero barks at us.  My mom and Ethan's dad took him for a walk, which gave Ethan and I plenty of alone time for our, um... illicit internet activities?  Yes, well, they're back now, and Ethan didn't bother to close his door, and now Hero is staring at us through Ethan's computer, watching us on my webcam.

Which wouldn't be too terrible, because he's just a dog, except, er... remember my mom before?

Yup...

"Hero, what are you doing?" my mom asks.  Ethan and I hear her through my computer speakers.

Hero glances over at her, barks, then looks back at Ethan's computer.

"Where's Ethan?" my mom asks.

"We need to turn this off," I say, panicking even more.

Ethan is finally panicking a little now.  Finally!  Ugh.  Really now, it took him this long to panic?

"Yeah, uh... fuck."  He waves his hands around like he's shooing Hero away.  "Hero, go away!" Ethan says, firm yet hushed.

"Are you seriously trying to shoo him away through the internet?" I whisper.

Scrambling up, I move to put a stop to this.  I just need to, um... close the program?  Yes...

"What are you watching, Hero?" my mom asks, then louder, she says, "Ethan, are you here?"

She's closer.  Ethan's still trying to shoo Hero away from his computer.  I'm trying to shoo Ethan away from my computer so I can close out the webchat program.  And...

My mom is staring at us.

"Oh," she says.

Ummm...

"Hi, Mom?" I say, waving.  Yes, I have no clothes on.

"Hey," Ethan says, waving, too.  "We were just, uh... testing shit, you know?  Internet things.  Looks like it works."

"Were you?" my mom asks.  "That's interesting.  And why is Ashley naked?"

"Oh, you know," Ethan says, handwaving the question away.

If he can't even shoo the dog like that, I'm not sure why he thinks he can shoo my mom's question the same way

"No, not really," my mom says.  "Honey, can you explain this for me?  I'd love to hear it."

"It's got to do with pixels," I tell her, making something up.  "And, um... color schemes.  There's two types of color schemes for computers when you're printing out something.  There's RGB, which is pretty standard.  That's red, green, and blue.  But then there's CMYK, too, which is cyan, magenta, yellow, and key, which is the combination of all of them, or black.  The, um... the colors... it's easier to figure out this way.  Uh huh."

"So what exactly are you two printing out that required you to be naked, if you don't mind me asking?"

Ugh.  Really, Mom?  I thought I could confuse and distract her with random technical computer jargon, but she's not falling for it.

"I think I'll let Ashley explain this to you," Ethan says, nodding.  "I'll just go see if my dad needs help with anything..."

"Oh, no you don't," my mom says, waggling a finger at him.  "You help Ashley find her clothes and get dressed and stop recording sex tapes.  I don't want to find sex tapes of you two on the internet, do you hear me?"

"Mom, we weren't recording sex tapes," I say.  "We weren't even recording anything.  This isn't recording.  It's live, and that's it.  Once we stop, there's nothing left."

"Is that what the kids are doing these days?" my mom asks.  "Live sex tapes?  Do you make a lot of money doing that?"

"Mom, we didn't make any money!  That's not how this works."

"You were doing it for free?" she asks, shocked.  "Ashley!"

"You're mad at me, but not at Ethan?" I ask.  "Really, Mom?"

Hero barks.  He's not mad at anyone.  I'm pretty sure he has no idea what's going on and he's just excited at all of the loud talking.

"Hero, this isn't exciting!" I tell him.  "Stop barking!"

He barks again.

"You tell her," my mom says.  "Ashley, Hero's very disappointed that you're making sex tapes and giving them away for free."

"Mom!  I'm not!  Ugh!  Just... let me get dressed and I'll explain it to you."

"I think that's best," my mom says, pointing a finger at me.  "Who can see me right now, by the way?  Should I wave and introduce myself?"

My mom introduces herself and starts talking to imaginary internet people that don't exist while Ethan helps me find my clothes so I can get dressed.  We do this away from the view of my webcam, because, um... well... yes.

"Hello," my mom says, still talking to the internet.  The internet does not talk back to her.  "I'm Ashley's mother.  I'm Ethan's mother, too, but his stepmother, so don't get the wrong idea there.  Ethan's always been kind of a bad boy, but Ashley's usually not like this.  I hope you won't think badly of her.  Really, it's kind of like art, right?  Sexuality in art has been a common theme for centuries, and video is just a new medium through which to..."

"Mom, you realize that the only people who can hear you are me and Ethan, right?"

"Hero can hear you, too," Ethan adds.

"Shut up, Ethan."

"Whoa, don't get all pissy there, Princess."

"Ashley, I'm coming to your room," my mom says.  "You are in your room, right?  You're not in some sex tape film studio somewhere, are you?"

"Yes, Mom," I say, rolling my eyes.  "As you can clearly see, this is my bed."

"I just wasn't sure if this was some sort of Photoshop thing," my mom says.

"Mom, that doesn't even make any sense."

"Lots of things don't make sense on the internet, honey," my mom says.

"She's got a point," Ethan says.

"Thank you, Ethan.  I knew I liked you for a reason."

Ugh.  Seriously?

Yup...

My mom is entirely too fascinated in the potential sexual applications of a webcam.

"I knew you could use it to talk to other people, but I never thought about actually being able to see them!" she says, much more excited than I think she should be.

"Yes, Mom," I say, deadpan.  "That's kind of what they're for, you know?  That's the whole point of it, so that you can see someone on the other end, or if it's your webcam you use it to show them what you're doing."

And, Ethan?  Yes, he's far too amused at the fact that my mom is captivated by the sexual applications of a webcam.  I guess I can't blame him, because it is kind of funny, except, um... this is my mom here.  Awkward or what?

"So you weren't recording, though, right?" my mom asks again.  I forget how many times she's asked now.  "I just want to make sure.  Is it easy to make sure it doesn't record, honey?"

"Mom, it's really easy to make sure it doesn't record.  It's not too hard to record yourself if you really want to, but you need another special program to record someone else, and it's kind of a hassle, not to mention this isn't even about that."

"Oh, no, I know, I'm just making sure.  I'm asking for a friend, that's all."

"Oh, yeah?" Ethan asks, snickering.

Wait, why is he snickering?  What's so funny?  I don't get it.

Wait!  Why is my mom asking for a friend, and also what friend is she even asking for?  She just found out about this!

"Mom, you're trying to see if you can figure out how to do a sexy webchat with Ethan's dad, aren't you?" I ask.

That's exactly what she's doing!  I can tell before she answers.  The look in her eyes gives her away.  Ethan bursts out laughing, too.  I push him and he falls onto my bed, but he doesn't stop.  This isn't even funny, Ethan.  Ugh.

"I don't know what you mean," my mom says, shifty-eyed, looking back and forth and at everything else but me.

"I can't believe you want to have a steamy sex chat with my stepdad," I say.  "I really just can't believe it."

"Well, you know, it wouldn't be often," she says, as if this is any better.  "Most of the time we travel together, but sometimes he goes on business trips on his own, and phone sex isn't so bad, but—"

"Mom!"

Phone sex?  Really?  This is my mother, and I don't need to know these things.

"As if you have any right to talk, young lady!" my mom says, shaking her finger at me and then bopping me on the nose.  Yes, my mother just bopped me on the nose.  "You and Ethan were up to some naughty things, yourselves, except I still don't understand one thing."

"Mom, it doesn't record, I promise.  We weren't recording.  Ethan and I weren't making a sex tape."

"Not that time," Ethan says.  "Could be fun, though.  I'm down for it if you are, Princess.  Just let me know.  Private, for our eyes only, no big deal."

"Ethan," I say, staring at him.

He grins, nothing doing, just being an asshole bad boy.  I want to punch him or kiss him, I'm not sure which yet, but I can't do either of them with my mom right here.  Hero is here, too, but he's just laying on the floor, staring up at us.

"It's not that," my mom says.  "I'm confused why you were both in here if you were having a sexy internet web camera conversation?  Doesn't that defeat the point?"

"Oh," I say, blushing.

Um... I don't want to explain that part to my mom.  No way.

"She was giving me a show first," Ethan says, explaining it for me.  This isn't better, though.  Ethan, this is
not
better.  Stop.  Please?

"Huh?" my mom asks, wrinkling her nose, confused.

"You know?  It was a trial run, see how it went kind of thing.  I was in my room at first, and Ashley was pretending she was at college already, then we were kind of, uh... I don't know if you'd call it fooling around?"

"Don't we have a rule against this?" I ask.  "I'm pretty sure there's a rule against this."

"You told me it was a guideline," my mom says.  "That's not a rule, right?  I don't know how this is related, though.  The guideline was that you didn't want me to talk about sex things with both of you here at the same time, but separate was fine.  Right?"

"Yes," I say, nodding.

"Alright.  Ashley, do you mind going outside for a second so I can talk with Ethan about this?"

Did... um... did she really just ask that?

"You realize this is my room, right?  My bedroom?  All my stuff is here.  This is my bed.  That's my laptop."

"Yes?"

"You know what?" I say.  Yes, you know what?  "Sure!  Why not?  I'm leaving.  I'm going downstairs and I'm going to have a normal and regular conversation with my stepfather, because this is just too strange and weird and I can't even do this anymore.  Seriously!  Ugh!"

I start to stomp out of my room, but I'm kind of hoping someone will stop me.  I don't mean to be a drama queen or an attention whore, but surely they'll both realize that it really is my room and I'm not the one making outrageous demands here.

Um... right?

Nope!

I stomp.  Then I stomp slower.  I get all the way to my door, and I'm trying to walk away with determination while also giving them plenty of time to realize the error of their ways and let me have my room to myself, except this doesn't even happen.

Hero comes with me, though.  He gets up as soon as I start walking away and follows me to the door.  I step into the hallway, looking back one final time, but Ethan and my mom are just watching me.

Wow.

I take the sock off my doorknob and ball it up in my hands, then throw it at Ethan.  He catches it, grinning at me.

"Have fun!" I say, sarcastic.

"This isn't fun, Ashley," my mom says, nodding twice.  "This is for educational purposes."

Ugh.  I can't wait to go back to college.  I don't have to deal with things like this at college.  College life is... mostly normal.  Most of the time, at least, but I guess sometimes it gets a little crazy.  I'm usually not one for craziness, but then I'm usually not the type of girl who would masturbate live on my webcam for my sexy stepbrother boyfriend with benefits, so...

I really am excited to go back to college, but I'm kind of sad, too.

We can do it, right?  The long distance thing?  Ethan and I?

I think we can.

I hope so.

Despite what Little Miss Perfect Princess Goodie Two Shoes may think, I'm not really into explaining the specifics of our sex life to my stepmother.  Yeah, yeah, so we talk sometimes, because she's good at listening and I can't go to my dad about this kind of stuff, but it's nothing crazy.  I just like talking to her, too, you know?  Nothing wrong with that.

I don't want to tell Ashley that, though.  It's not like I'm against telling her, and this isn't some horrible secret.  I just kind of like having a "mom" to talk to.  I really like that Ashley's mom is willing to treat me like a son, too, even though, uh...

Yeah, our relationship is kind of fucked up.  Stepmother and the mother of my girlfriend?  Let's just stop right there.  Better not to think about it too much.

"I was in my room," I tell her, pointing to my room which is still live and on display on Ashley's laptop.  "Ashley was in here.  We were just kind of uh... you know?  Playing around.  And... yeah, no recording, but it was fun, and I knew we weren't going to have a lot of chances to be together after today, so I snuck away when she was distracted, then came in here."