Now, Wade looked perfectly ordinary. He wasn’t a monster, wasn’t someone to inspire fear or loathing, and he certainly wasn’t larger than life. He was, quite simply, a man like any other.
When Julia announced a man was at the front door asking for her, Kristen knew in her heart it was Wade. There was no dodging his hold on her life any longer. No more running away. She must deal with him and be done with it. She hadn’t wasted any time but had gone straight to the door—almost into Wade’s waiting arms.
He removed his hat and held it loosely in one hand. Then, his gaze still fixed on hers, he placed the hat on the table beside the door. It seemed the logical place for hats, although Kristen thought it might be a more logical spot for a basket of flowers or something equally innocuous. Every time a man rested his hat on that table, trouble followed.
“Jane.”
She hadn’t heard her first name in so long it took her a moment to realize he addressed her. With a shrug, she supplied her middle name, “Kristen.”
Understanding lit his eyes. “Ah, I see. Kristen, then.”
Her night ruminations portrayed Wade as angry upon his arrival. Kristen released a pent-up breath, realizing for the first time she had been fearful of his wrath. She neither needed nor desired an ugly scene, so his amiable tone of voice was welcome.
“Wade.”
A single footstep would have brought Wade close but he remained where he was. She was grateful for that, too.
“You look well.” Wade acted as if they had seen each other at a party only days earlier, as if standing on the dusty boardinghouse porch in the middle of the western frontier was as acceptable as strolling across her father’s lush lawn. “You don’t seem any worse for the wear, my dear.”
My dear
. His term of endearment sent a shiver up her spine. Had he come to claim her after all?
Nonsense! I am not a piece of errant baggage, open to being carried off by just anyone. I will not be claimed—not now. Not anytime.
“Thank you.” Letting the romantic name pass, she took a steadying breath and prepared to put an end to their involvement. “Obviously I didn’t put enough miles between Boston and myself.”
“Between me and you, don’t you mean?”
The sky was a stunning shade of robin’s-egg blue. Kristen took a moment to admire it, using the time to formulate an answer. Several retorts came to mind but instead of inciting an argument, she lifted her shoulders, and then let them slowly drop.
“I suppose I do mean just that.” He seemed to take the comment well, so she pressed on. “How did you find me?”
A small grin, the kind they had been sharing for so many years, appeared on his handsome face. Kristen was reminded of Wade’s kindness and intelligence, his fast wit and stellar business sense. He was a good man, and would make someone else a wonderful husband.
Honestly, she had been shocked to learn he was a willing participant in her father’s scheme to form a business connection through their marriage. She would never have thought Wade would have agreed to it, but she had been dead wrong on the matter.
“It wasn’t hard to find you. I doubt you could ever flee so far that I couldn’t track you down.” Had the words not been delivered with a smile she had seen so frequently in the past, and recognized as harmless, they might have been intimidating.
“Why, then?”
“Because I love you,” he said softly. “It’s that simple, my dear. I love you.”
Now he took one step forward, closing the gap between them. Kristen stood her ground, and when Wade was nearly touching her she looked up into his eyes and saw the truth. He
did
love her. But how? And why?
As if he had heard the unspoken questions, he shrugged.
“But you and Father…it was a business arrangement, nothing more. Why, we both know it was, Wade! You and I, we’ve been friends—dance, croquet and pinochle partners—but we’ve never been romantically…uh, we’ve never been, well, you know…”
He grinned, wiggled his eyebrows, and then leaned down so his cheek was beside hers. “Close?”
The intimate expression brought instant heat to her face. Wade chuckled, running an idle fingertip across the apple of one cheek.
“You’re blushing, my dear. Why, I haven’t seen you blush this hard since the afternoon Fred Waterhouse fell into the Andersons’ swimming pool wearing white linen trousers. Remember? When he emerged he looked nearly nude, didn’t he?”
Kristen’s face felt on fire at the memory. She wished she could control her embarrassment—or Wade’s mouth. He teased her like a brother, something she had forgotten about. Normally she might have bantered back and forth with him, and had a few laughs. Now, she felt at his mercy.
“I’m sorry.” Wade lifted her chin so their gazes locked, and she saw it was true. “I shouldn’t tease you so. It’s just that…well, you are particularly beautiful when you’ve got such high color in your cheeks. I am, frankly, taken by your beauty, dazzled by your brains and wholly impressed by your independence and determination.”
“Wade…”
He shook his head, cutting her off. “No, please, don’t stop me. Please, allow me the opportunity to speak my mind—and my heart. I’ve come a long way to see you, and I’ve got a strong feeling this is the only chance I’m going to get to say how I really feel about you.”
“But…”
“Please. I need to do this. Please.” He spoke quietly, but his words carried weight. The time for teasing was past. Wade had something to say, and intended to say it, so she nodded. Best to let him get on with things, so they might settle their affairs once and for all.
“Thank you.” He swallowed hard. “I admit that when your father first approached me about marrying you, it was with business in mind. He felt you would grow to love me and that you already had a soft spot in your heart for me so it shouldn’t take long for that spot to grow.”
“He was right. I do value our friendship.”
Continuing as if he hadn’t heard her, Wade said, “But I never viewed the arrangement purely as a business deal. You see, my dear, I have loved you for years. All the parties, the dancing and laughter, it all was real to me. I never would have agreed to marry a woman I didn’t love, so saying yes to your father’s plan didn’t require any thought, not on my part, anyhow.”
“I had no idea. Why, I thought—”
“You thought you were a business acquisition, not a life partner.”
“Exactly.”
Wade studied her face for a quiet moment, then asked, “And now that you know, does it change your feelings at all?”
She wanted to spare him, but she was done running from the truth.
“I’m sorry, Wade, but it doesn’t. I am grateful for your friendship, but I don’t love you. Not in…well, not in that way.”
He considered the words. If there was any disappointment at the admission, he hid it well.
Finally he bent close, so close their noses touched, and said softly, “Indulge me…”
The kiss was brief, but tender.
When he pulled back, Wade kept his face near hers and stared hard into Kristen’s eyes. She saw sorrow in his, and was sorry to be the cause of it.
“I will tell your father that we have, by mutual agreement, decided not to marry. I hope you don’t mind if I tell him we will remain friends.” He gave a hopeful smile.
Kristen nodded, feeling finally free for the first time in months.
“That’s settled, then.” Wade stepped away, put his hat on his head and walked to the steps leading down to the road. Halfway down, he paused and turned to face her. “Will you return to Boston? We all miss you there, and since we’re not getting married there’s no reason for you to continue running, is there? You don’t have to decide now. Just think about coming back, won’t you?”
While she wanted to throw her arms wide and proclaim her freedom to the blue sky above, it wouldn’t be reasonable to make Wade feel bad about how things between them turned out. He was already being more than civil, and taking the unrequited love in stride, so she squelched her enthusiasm and just smiled.
“I’ll think about it.”
She watched Wade walk away without feeling regret over what she had turned away. He was a good man, but he wasn’t the man for her. She knew it in her heart, and now that she and Wade had settled their affairs Kristen felt free to follow that stubborn heart of hers.
She stared thoughtfully into the distance as her pulse slowed to a normal rate.
Patrick, astride a pretty Appaloosa, interrupted her thoughts. He dismounted, secured the reins to the hitching post, and then took the front steps two at a time.
He tipped his hat. “Good morning, Kristen. Nice day we’re having, isn’t it?”
“Just gorgeous. Julia’s in the front parlor waiting for you. Just go on in.”
Patrick opened the front door, holding it wide so she could enter before him. When she didn’t move, he asked, “Coming inside? Or do you plan to go somewhere?”
An idea had been taking root in her mind since Wade’s departure.
Why not?
“I believe I’m going to take a stroll. By the way, did you by any chance see Jack Sterling on your way down Main Street? Do you have any idea where he might be?”
Patrick grimaced, then stared sympathetically into her eyes. “I did. And I do.” He paused, and then said, “I spoke with him, even. He, ah, he said good-bye, Kristen.”
“Good-bye?”
“That’s right. He’s headed back to Kansas. I just saw him ride that big black horse of his out on the road at the far end of town.”
Panic tore through her. Wasn’t it just her luck that when she was finally able to love fully, the man she desired most would hightail it out of town?
“Your horse—Patrick, may I borrow your horse?”
Kristen hurried down the steps, grabbed the horse’s reins and leapt onto its back. Riding had been one of her favorite lessons at school, and she had several blue ribbons back in Boston to prove her skill as a horsewoman. While she preferred to ride side saddle, she was no stranger to sitting astride a horse. One summer of training—much to her mother’s dismay—for an equestrian jumping competition had given her enough skill to sit almost any horse, in any manner.
She didn’t wait for Patrick’s reply. Instead, she turned the animal in a tight circle, pointed her in the right direction and dug her heels into the horse’s flanks. They took off down Main Street in a cloud of dust.
The irony of her situation wasn’t lost as she rode flat out down the road into the wilderness. Not so long ago she had ridden this same road, a runaway bride-to-be determined to find a new life for herself. Now she rode in the opposite direction, a woman with a life to call her own but no one to share it with.
If I didn’t have bad luck with men, I’d have no luck at all. Oh, Aunt Irene, why didn’t I see this coming? You always said I could “see” things, but this mess has certainly taken me by surprise!
The horse wasn’t bred for running but it had heart. They were only about a mile or so out of town, but already the animal’s breathing was labored. As much as she wanted to catch up to Jack , she couldn’t do so at the horse’s expense. She pulled back on the reins, slowing the horse to a gentle canter.
Disappointment combined with irritation tore a wail from her throat. Tears welled in her eyes but she was far too wound up to let them fall. There would be time to cry later on, time to catalogue her regrets and chastise herself for being too stubborn to see the truth.
She loved him.
Pure, simple and as plain as the nose on her face.
As if sensing her frustration, the Appaloosa sped up slightly. Kristen realized the futility of her search. Jack could be anywhere by now. Trailing after him on a plow horse, without any supplies or a weapon to protect herself, was downright stupid. Every step further from town took her closer to losing her life to a band of Indians or any of the gangs of unscrupulous outlaws roaming the territory.
The spot where the stagecoach had been held up lay just beyond a bend in the track ahead. She would ride that far, and then turn the horse around.
I won’t give up. I’ll just go back and equip myself properly for the journey to Kansas.
It made sense, even though the thought of letting Jack put another mile between them tore a hole in her aching heart.
She pulled the reins tight and slowed the horse to a walk. It resisted at first, trying to keep the pace, but Kristen held firm.
Her mind raced as she considered, then discarded, plans. Perhaps journeying by stagecoach would be the safest and most economical way to go, but it would also take the longest and Kristen didn’t want to waste a minute. She could either ride or go by coach to a railway station. It would be a faster trip but there was no guarantee that a train might go anywhere near Carroll’s Junction, Kansas. What to do?
They rounded the bend in the trail, the horse finally having settled into its slower pace and Kristen’s mind fully engaged on what lay ahead—figuratively. Had she been looking at what literally lay before her, she would have seen him before he spotted her.
The nickering sound of another horse caught her attention.
Kristen raised her head. She pulled so hard on the reins that the horse reared up onto its hind hooves before it came to a standstill.
Jack?
Or a mirage?
She stared hard, wondering if she might have lost her mind as well as her heart.
Then, she jumped down from the saddle and ran across the uneven ground toward him. She tripped over her skirt, and the rocks bit into the soft leather soles of her boots but she didn’t care. It was Jack—and he was within touching distance!
Jack swung a leg over the pommel, and then dropped to the ground in one smooth, graceful movement. He moved so quickly he beat her to the center of the clearing.
With a low growl, he scooped her off her feet and hugged her tight against his chest. Kristen felt the warmth of his body. She inhaled the wonderfully masculine scent of him. Her fingers found their way into the silky curls at the nape of his neck.
She could have spent forever in his arms, but Jack abruptly put her down and held her at arm’s length. Then, he dropped his arms to his sides and glared at her.