Authors: Tijan
It wasn't long before I pulled up to the Suns' training gym. It was a massive but plain brick building. I caught the looks on a few people heading inside. Each wore a serious expression that told me they weren't there to laugh, pick up chicks, or fool around. They were there to train and work hard.
As I pushed through the front doors, the gym stared me smack in the face, behind an expansive glass wall. It looked like the gym wasn't geared only towards soccer players; there were linebackers and tennis players. After I surveyed the room again, slower this time, I saw Bryce's agent in a back corner. He was talking to a big muscular man and using wide arm movements to make his point. Next to the athlete, he looked like a weasel with his slicked back hair and three-piece suit.
I sympathized with the muscle guy and headed in their direction. No one spared me a second glance until I stopped behind Mathias.
Muscle guy looked at me. "Can we help you?"
Mathias turned around and his face dropped. All the lively eagerness was gone. Caution and paranoia popped up, and I wondered about those as I gave him a tight grin. "Where's Bryce?"
"Gone to your anger management program yet?" Mathias shot back.
The muscle dude stifled a laugh.
"I left and got a gun instead. Figured it'd be more cathartic. Where's Bryce?"
"This is his place of work. You should leave. He doesn't need this distraction." Mathias tugged on the collar of his shirt. He shifted to rest on his left leg. A second later, he shifted to the right.
I wasn't dumb. "So Guadalupe's here?"
His eyes flared and I caught the shock before it was replaced with the 'oh shit' look. I turned to the muscle guy. "Do you know where Bryce is? He's supposedly my best friend and soul mate, but this a-hole is trying to get in the way of that."
A wide smile spread over his face. "My name's Clark." Then he turned and hollered, "Anyone know where Scout is?"
A guy in the back yelled back, "He's in the P.R. room with some girl."
Clark turned back and ignored Mathias' look of indignation. "Next room on the right. There'll be a big PR sign."
"Thanks!" I smiled and turned on my heels to stride back through the gym. As I turned in to the hallway and passed the gym, I knew Mathias and Clark were watching my trek through the glass wall. I didn't care. I found the room where a sign above the doors in silver lettering
declared 'PUBLIC RELATIONS' and pushed through the white doors, but stopped short. Bryce was holding Guadalupe's arms in front of him.
As she pressed herself against him, Bryce's head jerked up. "Sheldon, what are you doing here?"
I should've gone into battle mode. I should've been ready to win at any cost, but instead I was overrun with fatigue. In that moment, I knew I was tired of fighting. "I wanted to come and see you before tonight because I know the party's going to be crazy. I didn't think we'd get much private time." I stopped and swallowed over a knot in my throat. Oh God. I'd been a fool. "I wanted to tell you that Miss Connors won't be my counselor, but she's recommending someone new to me by Tuesday." Guadalupe had on a smug smirk I couldn't stomach, so I turned away. "But you're busy right now. Maybe you shouldn't come tonight."
Bryce called out, "Sheldon—"
"Never mind.
Don't
come tonight."
The party was in full swing below me. From my balcony, I watched everyone as they milled around the backyard. Speakers blasted techno music, and flashing lights filled the air. The gate had been kept closed because of the media, but Corrigan's fraternity brothers stood at the side door to allow people in and out. Each person had to have a name that matched their student identification card, and that name needed to be on the list of those that attended the university. If a reporter tried to get in, they'd have to go the lengths to steal a card from someone. Corrigan thought it was unlikely anyone would take money for the use of their card, not when they knew how the Alpha Mu House would treat them later.
I shivered as I heard the threat in his voice. I caught a glimpse of the old Corrigan in my living room, the one that had a habit of getting arrested for vandalism and disorderly conduct. When only a few of his brothers seemed surprised, I knew they'd already been introduced to that side of him.
As I watched, I saw him next to one of the bars. That Corrigan wasn't present at the moment. He was the laughing and charming one. I wasn't the only one who watched him. The sorority girls had arrived earlier and stood close to his group. They were dressed to make an impression with skimpy dresses, flashy sandals, and even flashier jewelry. Their hair was twisted, tucked, braided, hair-sprayed, and woven to complete their announcement that they belonged at my party. They were there to stay.
I noticed a large group around Leah and figured they were her sisters, but I didn't care. They kept shooting dark looks towards the girls that I figured belonged to Cadence's sorority.
"Shel, you out here?"
I turned as Corrigan stepped onto the balcony. "I thought you were with your buddies."
He shrugged as he stood beside me now.
I finished the rest of my wine. Two more bottles waited on the glass table next to me and I moved to refill my glass.
Corrigan took one look and his mouth went flat. "What happened?"
"Hmm?" I played dumb.
"Wine fucks you up. What happened? Why do you want to get fucked up tonight?" The aloof grin was gone.
"Nothing."
"Don't bullshit me, Sheldon." Corrigan stepped closer, but he slid his hands into his pants pockets. He looked like he was brooding.
"Why should I stop? I'm so good at it."
Corrigan drew in an abrupt breath and didn't comment. I should've cared. I should've apologized. I should've made sure he knew I meant about this night, about the very recent nights, but the wine had already started to do its job.
I didn't care.
His voice dropped near a whisper. "Are you pissed at me? I thought we were good. You said we were good."
"We are good."
Corrigan wasn't the one I wanted to hurt. I gestured towards the group below us. "These people aren't here because of me. They're here for you."
He never looked. "I'm here for you."
"I know." The words ripped out of me.
It was true. I wasn't stupid. So many people tried to use me, but Bryce and Corrigan didn't. They were there for me, or Corrigan was at least. At the thought of Bryce, my grip tightened on my glass and I gulped the rest of it down. Bryce could go to hell.
"You look good." He shrugged. "For what it's worth."
I knew I looked good. The outfit was one I had purchased a while ago. I saw it in a magazine spread. I liked it, so I bought it. I thought Bryce would've enjoyed it before, but now—my throat burned with emotion.
Corrigan studied me. "This have to do with Bryce not coming tonight?"
I expelled a deep breath and cursed. "He never cared what I said before. He never gave one damn, and now I make one statement and he folds." I cursed again and refilled my glass. Life was rosier drunk. Life was manageable when drunk, not really but that night it was.
Corrigan fell silent as he watched me. He turned his back to the crowd beneath and folded his arms over his chest. "Okay. Look, I know you and me aren't how we used to be in high school."
"Not since you left Spain." There was a bitter taste in my throat.
Corrigan paused for a beat. "You're right. Things changed. Things…"
….things happened…
"…are different, but that doesn't mean you're not one of my best friends. I don't know what I want right now, but I know this is because of Bryce. He did something or you reacted to something. I don't know, but this is because of him. Not me." He waited another beat and then surrendered in a sigh. "So I guess I'll head back downstairs—"
My head snapped up. "You wouldn't have left my side two years ago."
Silence.
Corrigan didn't respond. I didn't look, but I waited and held my breath. I waited before he allowed me to breathe again when murmured, "We're not in high school."
"We're not. No."
It was easier back then. Things made more sense.
I wrung out, "You're right. Go ahead. Join your brothers." Now I turned to look at him and let my anger shine through. I was angry at the world. I was angry at being used. I was angry because Bryce wasn't fighting. I was angry because Corrigan was only half with me. It wasn't the same, not anymore. It hadn't been since I shot Marcus.
"What did Bryce do?"
"He didn't do anything. That was it. He didn't do anything."
"He said that you told him not to come."
"He didn't do anything." He didn't come. That was my point, but Corrigan wasn't hearing it.
"What happened in Spain?"
I closed my eyes and hung my head at that painful reminder. I wouldn't fold down and fall to my knees. My third glass of wine was finished before I set it back down. "I lost him. I think I lost myself."
Corrigan's eyes sparkled in an emotion I didn't dare name. His hand reached upwards with his fingers spread wide, and his palm was ready to cup my cheek. But then he froze an inch from my face and cursed before he withdrew his hand. "You're his girl. I can't say what I want to say right now because you're his girl."
"We're best friends." My face tingled from the anticipation of that touch.
He shook his head as his shoulders drooped. "Maybe in high school, but since…I don't even know when. He needs to be your
only
best friend as long as you're with him. I have to leave now. I shouldn't be up here when we both know you're hurting because he's not."
He turned to leave, but I caught his hand. "Corrigan."
He cut me off as he twisted around, agony and fury in his eyes.
I let go of him immediately, scorched by that look. Then he left, his body filled with tension. I couldn't do anything or say anything to stop him. I wanted to…
I wanted something, but I didn't know what. There was a hole I needed to fill, and, with that, I filled my glass a fourth time. I should've gone downstairs. I should've mingled with everyone. It was my party after all, but I sat and I drank. My phone buzzed a couple times, but I never looked at it and I never answered. I'd given what I could.
He hadn't even been kissing her, but it burned.
I saluted the air with my glass and toasted a lightning bug. "To you, little man. Fly free. Fly free."
Then I heard another voice from behind me. "Sheldon?"
It was a girl's voice. I tensed, but then Grace popped her head through the sheer curtain. Her eyes lit up as she saw me. "Hey, you look great!"
"You too."
Her blonde hair had been pulled into a low ponytail with a few stray strands curled to frame her face. It gave her a soft look and accentuated her pale lips. With the green sweater she wore over a pair of pale jeans, I was tempted to give her a wolf whistle.
She plopped down into a chair and fanned herself. "I was asked to join a sorority! I know, I know. This sounds like alterno-world or something, but it's not. I swear. I was downstairs, and a bunch of girls all said hello to me." She frowned and grabbed the empty wine bottle. Then she
started to shift from hand to hand. "Did I do something? I don't know what to make of it. Maybe they know Corrigan, and he told them to be nice. Do you think that's it? What do you think?"
I watched my clueless friend.
Grace scratched at her chin. "I know. I know. I'm probably imagining all of this, but it was a lot. A LOT of girls said hi to me. What's going on? Did I become a celebrity or something? I can't believe Corrigan has that ability. You think it was him? That's the only thing that makes sense. Wow, I didn't realize how much weight he had around campus. Not to mention, I didn't think he even cared about me. That night was two years ago."
"Maybe he cares more than you think."
"And can you believe it? I was asked to join a sorority!?"
I sat beside her. "What if Corrigan
did
put them up to it?"
Grace pondered that a moment and then shrugged. "If he feels guilty, then he feels guilty. Do you really think an
entire
sorority would ask me to pledge? Because of one guy? It's one guy! If I became a sister, that'd be for life. That's so permanent. I doubt it's because of Corrigan. No, no. I think they did it because they like me. It has to be because they like me."
"I like you,
" I pointed out. How could I not be upset? Those girls weren't asking her to pledge because of Corrigan. They were doing it because of me, because I made them…because of Corrigan. So was it actually my doing?
Grace huffed out as she rolled her eyes. "Sheldon, you're you. You're not like most people. You like me because of Mena."
"Are you serious?" I sat back.
Had we not established a friendship in the past two years? She'd become my best friend, besides Bryce and Corrigan. And seeing how that was going, she might be my only friend.