Stiltskin (Andrew Buckley) (36 page)

“The kind with a long life span,” said Lily.

“So where does Jack fit?”

Lily snuggled closer to Robert. The rain had subsided to a light drizzle. “Jack was just a man. A farmer. He belonged to one of the few human families that lived in Thiside over a thousand years ago.”

“He’s over a thousand years old?”

“Doesn’t look bad, does he?”

“I suppose, if you like that tall, blond, muscled type with striking features. Of course it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.”

“Certainly not mine,” said Lily.

“You two never… you know… got together?” said Robert with a certain amount of hesitation.

“Absolutely, lots of times.”

“Really?” said Robert with obvious disappointment.

“No, I’m just playing with you,” said Lily and laughed. “Jack is a very distant person. He doesn’t relate well to anyone.”

“I could see that.”

“When he was around thirty years old, he lived in a village that fell under the rule of the Evil Queen.”

“She was actually called the Evil Queen?”

“Don’t interrupt.”

“Sorry.”

“The kingdom was attacked by a Giant who destroyed almost everything and was responsible for over a hundred deaths. Jack killed him.”

“That’s it?”

“Do you have any idea how hard it would be for a human to kill a Giant?”

“Actually, I have no idea.”

“Even being a werewolf, I doubt I could take down a Giant. No one knows how Jack did it. The archives don’t have any information on the event other than what was passed down by word of mouth.”

“If he’s just human, how is he still alive?”

“The Evil Queen was a powerful sorceress. As a thank you for saving her lands, she granted Jack and his family the gift of immortality. He can’t die.”

“Ever?”

“Ever. He can’t be killed, he can’t even be injured.”

Robert thought about it. “Jack and the Beanstalk.”

“Yes. Only without the beanstalk or the magic beans.”

“Remarkable.”

Lily slipped back into her clothing, which was also soaked and covered with mud, but there were now more important things at hand than the state of their clothing. There was the state of reality to think about. Lily had assumed that Jack had wished for a door and that the pair was probably back in Thiside already. Not knowing where Rumpelstiltskin was going to perform the spell left them at a bit of a loss.

“What about the wizard? Niggle? Couldn’t he tell us where the magical fields are located?” said Robert.

Lily looked thoughtful. “He’s probably the best chance we have. We’ll need to find a door first, though, and who knows how long that’ll take.”

“There’s a door over there,” said the voice in Robert’s head and Robert instinctively looked to his left. Hovering twenty feet away next to an ornately carved sculpture of an angel was the telltale distortion in the air.

“That’s amazing,” said Robert, “how do I know these things?”

“Know what?” said Lily as she tried to scrape some of the mud from her sweater.

“There’s a door over there,” said Robert, pointing to the door.

Lily looked at Robert. “That is amazing. How did you know that?”

“The voice in my head told me.”

Lily looked troubled as she always did when Robert referred to the voice in his head. “Has this happened before?”

“The voice? All the time, damn thing never shuts up.”

“No, I mean a door appearing when you needed it to?”

“Just one other time, in the forest where you were about to ki… ehh… attack me. Or maybe you were just trying to hump my leg. It was hard to tell at the time, what with the snarling and growling and such.”

“Funny. You door jumped for hours and didn’t get any stranger than you already are. And doors appear when you most need them.”

“What does that mean?”

“I have no idea. But let’s not waste it.” She grabbed Robert’s hand and led him toward the door. “They’ve got a head start. We’re going to need to door jump fast and get as close to the City of Oz as we can, and hopefully Niggle’s nerves are still holding up. Ready?”

“Ready!” he said with more confidence than he actually felt.

Lily took a deep breath. “Here’s hoping we can find them fast.” And they stepped through the doorway and stepped out…

…into the apartment of the wizard Niggle who screamed and spilled hot tea all over himself and then screamed some more.

“Well,” said Robert, “that worked out nicely.”

Lily looked surprised. Robert was proud of himself although he didn’t really know why, and the wizard Niggle continued screaming. At that exact moment, the front door was kicked open and in the doorway stood a very angry-looking Jack.

Lily dived at Jack, knocking him back into the hallway. The wizard Niggle waved his hand and the door slammed shut.

“Lily!” said Robert. He turned to the nervous wizard. “Open the door!”

“N-n-no way,” said the wizard. “What are y-y-you doing back here?”

There was a crash in the hallway. Robert ran over to the door and pulled on the handle but the door wouldn’t budge. “Open the damn door!”

“N-n-no,” said the wizard resolutely. He was clutching a now-empty tea pot to his chest as if it was his security blanket.

Robert didn’t have a temper. He was rarely angry. He often wished he did have some small smidgen of rage in him, but he’d never had the right motivation. Until today. He stalked up to the wizard, grabbed his tea pot and threw it against the wall.

“Open the door now!” he said directly into the wizard’s face.

The wizard looked terrified. He pointed at the door and it swung open by itself to reveal Lily carrying an unconscious Jack over her shoulder.

“See,” said Robert, “now was that so hard? Sorry about the tea pot.”

Lily kicked the door closed behind her and dropped Jack into a chair. “Rope won’t hold him. Wizard, I need you to bind him.”

Niggle sighed. He looked at Jack and muttered a few nonsensical words. Jack’s arms pulled tight to his side and his head snapped up. Lily walked up to him and slapped him a few times. Jack’s eyes opened slowly and he began to struggle, but the invisible bonds wouldn’t budge.

“Forget it, Jack, you’re bound to the chair.”

“Let me go, Lily.”

“Not until you tell us where the Dwarf is going.”

“Us?” said Jack. “There’s an us? You mean you and Darkly?” Jack laughed out loud.

Robert had known Jack only as a surly, angry individual. He now decided that watching him laugh was far more disturbing than his usual self.

“Are you just going to stand there and take that?” said the voice in Robert’s head.

“Shut up!” said Robert.

“Ohh, the Othasider’s grown a backbone. A couple nights with Lily here must have really loosened you up,” smiled Jack.

Robert walked closer to Jack. “I’ve heard of you.”

Jack laughed. “Going to interrogate me, Darkly?”

“Didn’t you have a beanstalk?”

Jack stopped laughing.

Robert continued, “And a cow. I seem to remember that you had a cow and you traded it for magic beans. Pretty dumb choice, when you really think about it.”

Jack was turning a pastel red colour. “I’ll get out of here eventually, you know.”

“Hit him with a hard one,” said the voice.

Robert bent over so he was inches from Jack’s face. “It’s a real honour to meet a fairy tale character such as yourself.”

Jack strained against the invisible bonds that held him. “I’ll kill you when I get out of here, Darkly. I’ll kill you! You’re just like your father and you’ll end up exactly like him! You’ll probably even share a cell!”

The wizard had been busy unpacking a new teapot, which Lily grabbed from him and smashed up the side of Jack’s head.

“Try and focus, Jack. We need to know where the Dwarf is going!”

Jack didn’t take his eyes off Robert, who was leaning casually against the fireplace staring back at Jack.

“Why does it matter?”

“Because we know what he’s doing. We know he’s going to remove the blood regulation from the door. It’ll break down the barrier between Thiside and Othaside. It’ll be just like it was before. Othasiders will pour into Thiside.”

Niggle twitched at the thought.

“Would that be so bad?” said Jack. “At least we’d have a purpose again.”

Lily moved in between Jack and Robert’s staring contest. “Is that why you did it? Because you’re bored?”

“Aren’t you?”

“No. I’m happy with who I am.”

Jack barked a laugh. “If there’s anyone who’s not happy with who they are it’s you, Lillian Redcloak. I’ve been alive for centuries. Centuries! I’m sick of living this existence. In my day, Giants roamed the land, Ogres burned villages, Goblins ravaged entire Kingdoms! I want those days back, Lily, I want them back! And the Dwarf can do that. If he breaks down the doors, it’ll cause chaos. We’ll have something to do again. The Agency will have real assignments again instead of spending all our time negotiating between Humanimals or catching thieves. We’ll live between both worlds!”

“You’re an idiot, Jack, and we’re going to stop the Dwarf.”

“You’ll never find him. There are magical fields everywhere and he just needs one strong one to finish the spell.”

“A-a-a-a magical field?” said Niggle.

“Where’s the strongest magical field?” Robert asked Niggle.

“The r-r-remains of the Emerald City. It’s the strongest magical field in Thiside. It’s also abandoned. It’d be the p-p-perfect place to p-perform the spell.”

Jack rocked himself forward and stood up, the chair still attached to his body. He charged at Lily, knocking her over, then ran as fast as anyone with a chair attached to their rear end could and threw himself out of the open window of the wizard’s apartment.

Robert ran to the window in time to see Jack hit the ground a hundred feet below. The chair smashed upon impact and the stone pavement cracked.

Lily joined Robert at the window.

“Is he dead?” asked Robert.

“No,” said Lily.

Jack picked himself up and brushed himself off. He cast a glance up at the window, then turned and ran through the crowd that had begun to gather.

“Should we chase him?” asked Robert.

“No, we need to get to Rumpelstiltskin.” They turned away from the window to find Niggle clutching another teapot to his chest. “We need to get to the Emerald City. Can you produce us another door?”

“N-n-no. The Great Hall is the only place we can perform it and there’s currently training in session.”

“Robert, can you open a door?”

Robert thought about it. “I wouldn’t even know where to start. We could door jump?”

“It won’t get us there fast enough.”

“Horses?” said Robert.

“What’s a horse,” asked Niggle.

“You haven’t noticed that there aren’t any horses here?” asked Lily.

“That’s a good point,” said Robert. “There has to be some form of transportation?”

Niggle twitched and almost dropped his teapot. “One of the younger wizards has a pair of S-s-s-screech Demons. They’d get you there f-fast.”

“Take us to them,” said Lily.

Robert’s perception of right and wrong, up and down, reality and fantasy, black and white had all been completely skewed, then shredded, then burned, then drowned over the last two days. Robert heard the words
Screech Demon
and the first thing that came to mind wasn’t something warm and fuzzy. He hated to ask the question, but as he followed the wizard and Lily out the door he felt he had no choice.

“What’s a Screech Demon?” he asked.

After hearing the answer, he wished he’d just left the question alone.