Stink and the Incredible Super-Galactic Jawbreaker

Gigantic!

Super-colossal!

   Inter-galactic!

Stink stood smack in the middle of the Whistle Stop Candy Shop. Shelves all around him were chock-full of sourballs, penny candy (that cost ten cents), licorice shoelaces, gummy money, candy pebbles, spooky-eye gumballs, wax fangs, buttered-popcorn jellybeans, bottle caps, chocolate Scottie dogs, and mood lollipops.

Then he saw it. Right smack in the middle of it all.

Hello! Welcome to Planet Jawbreaker!

Super-galactic jawbreakers! Stink reached to pick one up. It was an earth, a globe, a world unto itself. A speckled, sparkling planet. Bigger than a marble. Bigger than a Super Ball. Bigger than a golf ball. World’s largest jawbreaker! Or at least the biggest Stink had ever seen in his whole entire seven years on the planet.

Stink’s sister, Judy, ran up to him. “Look, Stink, they have bubblegum baloney and lollipops that play music and real-and-true rain-forest gum and best of all . . . gummy brains! I can’t decide WHAT you’re getting me!”

“Your brains are gummy if you think I’m buying you stuff,” Stink told his big sister. Sometimes big sisters were so double-triple-quadruple bossy.

“C’mon, Stink. Don’t be a sourball. You have a big fat five-dollar gift certificate.”

“I earned it! Dad took me to the college, and I was in a study for short people. I had to answer really hard questions.”

“Stink, I can’t help it if I’m not short! Please, pretty please, with gummy brains on top? Just one candy cell phone? Purple candy corn? A diamond-ring lollipop? I know, I know! If you won’t buy me candy, how about this How-to-Make-Your-Own-Gum kit?”

“No, no, no, no, and nope.”

“C’mon, Stinker. Just one teeny-weeny piece of candy? How much can one piece of penny candy cost?”

“Ten cents. Some penny candy costs twenty-five cents.”

“Huh? How can something that costs a penny cost a quarter?”

“Beats me,” said Stink.

Stink’s sister, Judy, was in a mood. She slumped down on the car-seat couch in the corner of the candy store. She pretended to watch the Oompa-Loompas dancing on the TV screen in front of her. Stink popped from one shelf to the next, filling his basket with suckers and sourballs, gumballs and gummy worms.

“Stink, I’m telling Dad you’re acting like a kid in a candy store,” said Judy.

“But I AM a kid in a candy store,” said Stink. “Hey! You just said an idiom.”

“I am NOT an idiot!” said Judy.

“Id-i-om. It’s what you call a funny saying. Mrs. D. taught us a bunch of them. Like if you’re in a bad mood, I could say you got up on the wrong side of the bed.”

“But I’m not in a bad mood, because you’re going to get me some candy, right?”

“Wrong.”

“Is
stinks on ice
an idiom? How about
rotten to the core
?” said moody Judy.

“Now you’re acting like sour grapes,” said Stink. “Get it?
Sour grapes
is another idiom.”

“Stop saying
idiom
!” said Judy.

“Okay! Okay! If I get you candy, what will you give me?” asked Stink. “
Let’s strike a deal
. Get it?”

Judy rolled her eyes. “How about one Grouchy pencil and two president baseball cards for this box of rain-forest gum?”

“
Three
president baseball cards,” said Stink. “And one of them has to be James Madison.”

“Deal,” said Judy. “Goody goody gumdrops! Thanks, Stink. Now, Richie Rich, let me see what you’re getting yourself with all that money.”

“I,” said Stink, “am getting the World’s Biggest Jawbreaker.” He held it up for Judy to see. “It changes colors and flavors as you go.”

“Rare! It looks like an earth. Or a giant emu egg or something.”

“Or something,” said Stink.

“Stink, I don’t think you want to eat that. Says here on the box that it contains wax.”

“Does not.”

“Does too!” Judy pointed to the words on the box.

“So? I’ve eaten wax before.”

“Have not.”

“Have too.”

“Stink, wax is like candles,” said Judy. “Wax is like earwax. Are you going to eat EARwax, Stink?”

“Give it,” said Stink, taking it back. “Stop saying
earwax
! I’m still eating it. It has fire in the middle.”