Gardner watched as Simon’s eyes filled with tears and looked away, down to the notepad in front of him.
‘If I’m being honest, it was more for Abby than for me. This arrangement we have. But I’m fine with it. I still get to see my daughter.’ Simon stifled a yawn. ‘I knew Abby would never leave her husband. I knew that from the start. And, yes, that hurt. And, yes, when she told me she was pregnant I thought maybe things would change but...’ He shrugged. ‘It was what Abby wanted, and it made sense. She wouldn’t have gone through with it if I’d said no. We made the decision together.’
‘And you still think you made the right decision?’
Simon sat for a few moments, looking past Gardner, caught up in his own thoughts. He gave a barely noticeable shake of his head. ‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I knew it’d be hard. Giving up Abby was one thing, but Beth.’ He shook his head. ‘When I found out Abby’d had her it was the best and worst day of my life. I knew that out there was this little girl who was mine but I couldn’t see her. But when I saw her. The first time I held her...’ Simon coughed and cleared his throat. ‘I thought I’d made a mistake. I knew I’d made a mistake. But it was too late. I couldn’t do that to Abby, I couldn’t just go back on our decision.’
‘Surely Abby would’ve understood? I’m sure anyone would understand a father wanting to be with his child.’
Simon shook his head. ‘I promised her. And I knew I’d get to see her. Beth.’ Simon smiled, sadly. ‘We named her together.’ He shook his head. ‘I was convinced her husband was going to come up with something else. But he seemed to like it.’
Gardner nodded. He didn’t know what he could say to the man. His alibi was airtight and he seemed genuine enough, but Simon Abbott had clearly regretted his decision to let Paul Henshaw bring up Beth as his own daughter. His love for Beth was evident. But for all that he and Abby insisted that things were fine, something wasn’t right. Simon just admitted he’d made a mistake, he wished he could be a proper father to Beth. And if things were so right between him and Abby, why wasn’t she answering his calls?
Gardner opened a file and then looked at Simon. ‘You were arrested in 1994, a fight outside a club.’
Simon sighed and rubbed his face. ‘Yes.’
‘And then in 2001 you were arrested again. This time convicted of assault.’
‘Yes,’ Simon said again. Gardner waited, allowing Simon to explain it himself. ‘The first one was nothing. A couple of kids fighting outside a nightclub. Some arsehole started mouthing off to Abby.’
‘Abby was with you then?’ Gardner asked, although he’d guessed that she was from the date. The report mentioned a girlfriend but didn’t name her. ‘So she knew you could be violent?’
‘I’m not violent,’ Simon said. ‘Not with Abby. Not usually with anyone. This guy called Abby a bitch or something, I can’t even remember, and I told him to shove off. He swung for me, missed, and then I hit him back. The guy was so drunk he couldn’t stand. He fell over.’
‘A witness report said you punched him repeatedly when he was on the ground. That your girlfriend had to pull you off him.’
Simon shook his head. ‘That’s not true. I hit him once. He fell over. Maybe he hit his head when he fell. I don’t know. The police were there before I had a chance to do anything else.’
‘So you would’ve done something else if they hadn’t arrived?’ Gardner asked.
‘No,’ he said and frowned. ‘It was just a stupid childish fight. Nothing happened.’
‘Okay,’ Gardner said. ‘What about the next time? The assault in 2001?’
Simon’s jaw clenched. ‘Look, I’m not going to pretend it didn’t happen or that it wasn’t my fault. It was. I was drunk, I was pissed off about something or other and the guy just got in the way. I know I was wrong. I know it was completely unacceptable to do what I did but that has nothing to do with this. You said yourself I was on a plane when it happened. I
couldn’t
have done it. And I wouldn’t.’
Gardner waited. Simon Abbott was clearly a man with a temper. He wasn’t sure he was ready to believe he would’ve paid someone to hurt Abby like that in order to get to his daughter. But would he have been prepared for Paul Henshaw to be hurt? Maybe the wrong parent was in the car that day and whoever had been paid to get them out of the way so Beth could be taken had to improvise.
‘What about Paul Henshaw?’ Gardner asked. ‘What was your relationship with him?’
‘I don’t have a relationship with him. I’ve never met him.’
‘Never?’ Gardner asked and Simon shook his head. ‘Okay, what are your feelings about him? What do you know about him?’
Simon sighed. ‘My feelings? I was sleeping with his wife,’ he said and shrugged. ‘I suppose at one point I felt guilty about that. Abby didn’t say much about him but I gathered he was good to her. Why else would she want to stay with him?’ He sighed again. ‘And maybe I was jealous of him. He had what I wanted.’
‘So you didn’t know anything about him but you were willing to let your daughter be brought up by him?’
‘Abby loves him. Beth’s looked after. He seems like a good guy,’ he said. ‘Abby wouldn’t be there if he wasn’t. The only reason she chose to do it this way was because she wanted the best for Beth and I trust her to do that.’
‘You reported a break-in earlier this year,’ Gardner said. ‘What happened there?’
Simon blinked and rubbed his face. ‘I was away for a couple of days. When I got back the door was broken and the place was a mess.’
‘Nothing was taken?’
‘A camera. Not a very good one. There were others in the house, better ones. And there’d been some money in a drawer. That was gone,’ Simon said. ‘Police came and had a look but nothing came of it.’
‘Any idea who could’ve done it?’
Simon frowned. ‘No,’ he said. ‘Smackheads probably. They could’ve taken all sorts but they didn’t.’
‘And that happened when? February?’
‘Yes, I think so.’
‘You ever travel to Russia or Eastern Europe for your job?’ Gardner asked and watched as Simon’s brain tried to catch up with the shift.
‘What?’ he said. He seemed to struggle with the question. ‘I think so. Maybe once or twice. Just to Prague.’
Gardner nodded. ‘You have friends there? Any contacts?’
‘What? No. I don’t know anyone in Prague. Why?’
‘The men who attacked Abby, she thought they were Russian, maybe Eastern European.’
Chapter Thirty-One
Abby sat on the settee listening to Paul’s footsteps move across the ceiling as he went from wardrobe to bed to chest of drawers and back again.
She’d woken up when the door slammed. She’d been trying to stay awake, wanting to be ready in case Gardner came back with the results. But the fatigue engulfed her, forcing her to drift off. And the nightmares made it worse. Since she’d been told about the body being found she kept seeing her daughter’s face, all white skin and blue lips, staring up at her from the river. She couldn’t risk sleeping. The nightmares were almost as bad as reality.
Climbing the stairs she found Paul pulling things from the wardrobe. She watched as he struggled to shove his clothes into a holdall. At one point she started to offer to help but he silenced her with a look.
Of course, darling, thanks very much for helping me pack my bags to leave after you cheated on me and ruined my life.
After a few attempts to close the holdall he gave up and moved onto another small suitcase. He looked around the room and then walked towards Abby in the doorway. She held her hand out to him and begged him to stop and talk to her, but he pushed his way past into the bathroom and collected his few toiletries together as best he could in the crook of his arm, pressing them into his chest. Abby watched helplessly as he stomped back into the bedroom and tossed the plastic bottles and shaving kit into the case.
‘Paul, please. You can’t just leave. What about Beth?’
Paul stopped and gave Abby a look that could kill. ‘Don’t do that,’ he said. ‘Don’t try and use her to make me stay.’
‘I’m not,’ Abby said, feeling like he’d slapped her. ‘But you can’t just go. Not now. Not while... We need to talk.’ Abby moved closer. ‘Where are you going to go?’
‘I don’t think it’s your business anymore, is it?’ He picked up his toothbrush, which had dropped onto the bed, and threw it violently into the case. ‘You don’t tell me that my child isn’t my child and I don’t tell you where I’m going. I think that’s fair, don’t you?’
Abby sank onto the bed. ‘I never wanted to hurt you. You have to know that. I’d never hurt you intentionally. I made a mistake, I know that. But I thought I could make things right. I thought Beth could make things right-’
‘You lied to me!’ Paul grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. ‘Having an affair is one thing but you made me believe that Beth was my daughter! I loved her! And you... You broke my heart, Abby.’ Paul dropped his hands as there was a knock at the door. Neither of them moved for a moment until Paul turned back to her. ‘You should get that. It could be someone important.’ After a few moments Abby stood and dragged herself downstairs.
Simon came out of the police station, dragging his case behind him, and lit a cigarette. He’d quit three times already this year but it never lasted. Bad day at work? Just one cigarette to relax. Long flight ahead? Just a couple to settle the nerves. As he stood inhaling his second cigarette in ten minutes he decided that after this he probably wouldn’t be quitting again.
He felt around in his jacket pocket for his phone and called Abby. After a couple of rings it diverted to voicemail and he hung up. He wondered where she was and how she was coping. Detective Gardner said she was okay but he’d also said that on top of being attacked and Beth being missing, her husband now knew everything. So he doubted that she was actually okay.
He tried her again but this time when he got no answer he started walking towards the taxi rank.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Abby pressed divert as she went to answer the door. She knew she’d have to speak to Simon eventually, and though she had no idea what she’d say to him, she wanted to, desperately. Beth was his daughter too. But for now what she wanted was to talk to Paul. To try and get him to stay even though she knew it was probably pointless, and more than that she knew it was wrong to even ask him to. She had no right to ask anything of him anymore. She’d given up that right the moment she started seeing Simon again.
Even while she was seeing Simon she knew that it was wrong. Not only morally, but because she didn’t want to break up with Paul. There was nothing really wrong in her marriage. Paul was about as perfect as a husband could be and she loved him, absolutely loved him. She would come home from meeting Simon and just looking at Paul made her want to call Simon and tell him it was over. And yet as soon as she walked into the same room as Simon she didn’t want to be anywhere else. She felt like a different person with him. And so it went on. She wondered what would’ve happened if she hadn’t fallen pregnant. Would she still be seeing Simon? Would she have ever chosen between him and her husband?
Abby opened the door and her heart sank as she saw Jen standing there. She wiped her eyes.
‘Hey, babe,’ Jen said and walked in. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t call you back. I’m a terrible friend. It’s just they dropped me. The fucking publishers dropped me. I can’t-’
The sound of a bag dropping onto the wooden floor in the hallway startled them both. They turned to see Paul standing there. He stared at Abby before turning his attention to Jen.
‘I guess you’re here to cheer me off. Good riddance, right?’ Paul said.
Jen looked at Paul before turning to Abby. ‘What’s going on?’ she asked.
‘Give it up, Jen. I know everything. I know she was fucking someone else. I know Beth isn’t mine,’ he said, his voice catching. ‘You’ll be pleased to know I’m going.’
Jen stared, open-mouthed. Abby looked at the floor. She couldn’t say anything, she just wanted Jen to leave.
‘Jesus, I always knew you were a drama queen. I didn’t realise you were actually an actress too,’ Paul said.
Abby looked up at Paul, her eyes red.
‘You didn’t tell her?’ he said and looked at Jen again. ‘Well, that’s something. I wasn’t the last to know after all.’ Paul pulled his coat on.
‘Paul.’ Abby tried to think of something to say but knew that anything she said would be trite and meaningless. Instead she walked towards him and stood with her hands on his chest. He moved away and picked up his car keys. She could see his hands shaking.
‘Will you be okay?’ she asked.
‘I’ll be fine,’ he said and picked up one of his bags. He opened the front door and took it to the car. She ignored the stares from the lingering media; ignored them as they shifted themselves, ready to pounce on her unravelling life. She watched as he opened the boot and threw the bags in before slamming the door down over it. He walked around to the driver’s side door and stopped.
‘You don’t have to go,’ Abby said, trying to ignore Jen standing beside her. Ignoring the click of the camera from across the road.
‘Yes, I do,’ Paul said after a moment. He dropped his chin to his chest and closed his eyes. ‘Just call me if you hear anything. Will you do that?’
The sound of a car pulling up caused them all to turn. Simon stepped out of the taxi and looked at Abby. Her heart sank as she turned back to Paul.
‘I’ll let the police know where they can reach me,’ Paul said, opened his car door. He got in and drove away without a single glance backwards.
Abby ran onto the street after Paul’s car and watched as it disappeared around the corner. Another camera snapped. Someone called her name.
After a minute or so she felt Simon’s hand on her shoulder, gently steering her off the road. For a second he glanced at Jen standing by the door. He turned back to Abby. She needed him to go. He wasn’t the one she wanted there with her. She wanted to scream and blame him and hurt him. Instead she collapsed into his chest and sobbed.
She felt Jen’s hand on her arm before she walked away without a word.
Sometime, minutes or hours later, she could no longer tell, Simon picked her up and carried her inside and she cried again until she fell asleep, utterly exhausted.