She’d always sensed a dangerous element in him, something lurking right beneath the surface, but
she hadn’t seen it until tonight. She only knew one thing for certain. What had just happened had
been a reflex. He would never do anything to harm her intentionally.
He didn’t hear her climb off the bed or cross the floor. He was obviously too wrapped up in his own
guilt. It wasn’t until she rested her hands on his knees and lowered to the floor in front of him that
his head lifted and surprised, sad eyes locked on hers.
Oh, she was right. Not in a million years would he ever hurt her.
“I’m sorry. God, Hailey, I—”
She pushed against his shoulder. He fell back easily, no resistance, no worry that she was going to
retaliate. Her eyes ran over his naked body, to the scar on his side, to the one on his shoulder where
he’d taken a bullet only a few months before. Without a word she leaned forward and pressed her
lips to the scar on his shoulder.
“No, don’t. Ah, God…”
His fingers dug into the padded armrest. His entire body stiffened. But he didn’t push her away.
Didn’t stop her from doing whatever she wanted to him.
She kissed. Licked. Laved her tongue over the scar until his breathing went ragged. Then trailed her
lips down his chest. To his nipples, now hard and standing at attention, lower still to trace his pecs
and the tiny indentation of his sternum.
His teeth ground together as her mouth moved to his left side, across his ribs. She felt his legs tense
against her, but he didn’t squeeze, didn’t do anything to stop her from reaching the spot he knew she
was heading to.
She kissed all around the puckered scar on his side, knew from his rigid muscles and rapid breaths
he was digging his toes into the carpet and his fingers into the chair’s plush fabric. Chancing one
look up, she saw his eyes tightly shut and his jaw so hard she knew this was the root of everything
between them. Why he continually pulled back, why he had the overwhelming need to protect her,
why his job was his life and why he wouldn’t walk away from a career that was making him miserable.
Her lips brushed the scar gently, just a whisper. Once. Twice. Just until he got used to it and his
muscles relaxed slightly. Then again. And again. She ran her tongue down the line. Licked and
kissed. And when he finally gave in and relaxed, she moved away, back across his abs and lower
still.
“No, don’t do that. I—”
She didn’t listen. Took him deep in her mouth until his words were cut off on a groan. He swelled
beneath her tongue, and while she loved him, she ran her fingers back up to the scar on his side, felt
him shudder at the touch and grow even harder in her mouth.
She wanted him to remember this. To take whatever bad memory touching that scar brought out and
replace it with this. With her.
“Hailey. Ah, God…stop…”
She finally let go. Climbed over him. Straddled his hips and lowered to take him in before his eyes
even opened.
His hands slid to her hips, but he didn’t move. The guilt etched deeply into the lines of his face
nearly broke her heart.
She gripped the back of the chair and tightened around him. His breath caught, and slowly his eyes
drifted to hers. “Make love with me, Shane. Right here. Right now. No more ghosts in the room
with us.” She lowered her mouth to his and felt her heart expand in her chest when he lifted his lips
to hers. “I just want you.”
“Hailey—”
“I know,” she whispered. “Just let it go and love me.”
Hailey stood under the shower spray until her skin wrinkled. As she thought about the night before,
her heart bumped and a slow ache for what Shane had been through filled her chest.
She’d climbed out of bed as quietly as she could just after eight A.M., leaving him sleeping like a
rock on his side. She was tired, but he’d looked emotionally wrung out, so she’d wanted to give him
as much rest as possible. They’d made it back to bed sometime just before dawn, where he’d loved
her so thoroughly every cell in her body was still supercharged, even hours later.
A smile pulled at one side of her mouth as she thought about the varied sides of him. Controlling
one minute, playful the next, challenging, then serious and so damn sexy, he took her breath away.
She sighed, rinsed the rest of the soap away. Knowing she needed to quit daydreaming if they were
ever going to get out of here, she flipped off the shower and jerked the curtain back. Only to scream
when she saw the body standing on the other side of the tub.
She pressed a hand against her heart and covered her horror-movie-heroine fright with a nervous
chuckle. “Shane. God. You scared me.”
“Sorry.” He held up the towel in his hands as she stepped out, then wrapped it around her dripping
body.
“Did the shower wake you?” She eased in to kiss him, then took the hand towel he offered for her
hair.
“No.”
Leaning to the side to wring the water from her locks, she studied him. He was wearing nothing but
the same worn jeans he’d had on yesterday. His chest was bare, that stubble on his jaw thicker,
darker, his eyes as intense as she’d ever seen them. But the hard set of his mouth told her he was
still upset over what had happened last night.
Okay, she wouldn’t push him. She reached for the moisturizer she’d left sitting on the counter by
the sink, determined to make this light and normal. They hadn’t had any normal in their relationship
yet, and they could both use it. “Good. I want to get going as early as we can. Hopefully Billy and
Nicole are already up. I called Steve. He’s on his way to the airport now to get the jet ready.”
“Listen, Hailey. About last night. I…”
She caught his guilt-ridden expression in the mirror over the sink and longed to see that cocky smile
of his instead. “If this is where you thank me for the best sex of your life, I’ll save you the trouble
and just say simply, you’re welcome.”
He frowned instead of smiled. “That’s not what I was talking about. I meant, the second time we…
I…” He ran a hand through his hair. “Shit. I didn’t use a condom.”
Okay, of all the things she’d expected him to be concerned about, that wasn’t it. She turned slowly
to face him.
“I take full responsibility, and I should have been way more careful with you. But I didn’t expect…” He rubbed a hand down his face, looked everywhere but at her. “You surprised me, and I
should have stopped but…yeah. You know, I’m just making this worse.” He blew out a breath. “I
don’t want kids.”
Her mouth fell open, then snapped closed. “Ever?”
His eyes finally met hers. “Never.”
Something inside her heart pinched. Though she wasn’t ready for kids now by any means, she always envisioned herself with one or two down the line. She’d even gone so far as to consider the
possibility of doing it on her own if she never got married again, although she hoped it didn’t come
to that. The knowledge that he didn’t want kids…ever? For some reason that made her feel nothing
but…loss.
“Why not?” she asked. “You’re so protective of the people around you, you’d make a great father.”
He shook his head, rested his hands on his hips and looked down at the floor. “No. I wouldn’t. And I
won’t, ever. I’m always careful. Last night I wasn’t. Yeah, last night…that just reinforced my decision to be done with it and get a vasectomy to guarantee nothing like this happens again.”
Whoa. Now that was drastic. He was really serious.
“If there’s a chance you could get pregnant from last night—”
Um, yeah. This was soooo not a conversation she wanted to be having with him right now. Talk
about ruining the romantic mood she’d been in all morning long. “I’m on the pill, Shane.”
“You are?”
She nodded, hating the spark of relief she saw in his eyes. Okay, it was dumb, considering they’d
only been together a couple of days and he’d made no promises to her regarding anything longterm, but why did he have to regard the idea of a baby with her as so goddamn depressing? “Yes.
Better to be safe than sorry in my view. It’s highly unlikely you’ll end up a daddy from what happened last night.”
He blew out a long, relieved breath. One that grated on her nerves. She reached for her brush from
the sink and brushed out her hair before she could react. Ignore it. You’re thinking twelve steps
ahead of where he’s at. Just let it go and enjoy being with him right now.
She forced a smile. Dropped the brush, then tightened her towel around her breasts and moved in to
kiss him on his cheek. “If you want to worry about something, worry about how the heck you’re going to top last night. You raised my expectations.”
Her grin did little to ease his mood. If anything, it seemed to etch those lines deeper into his face.
He followed her out into the bedroom and watched as she peeled off her towel and slid into fresh
clothes from her bag, which she’d set near the dresser last night when she’d come in to wait for
him. “Hailey, we need to talk about the rest of it.”
Oh, man, he was seriously trying to ruin her good mood. She pulled the T-shirt over her head. “The
rest of what?”
“What happened. What I did to you.”
Now this was what she’d expected him to start with. She tugged on jeans, buttoned them. “You
didn’t hurt me, Shane. I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. Your neck’s all red.”
“That’s from the hot water in the shower,” she lied.
“We both know that’s not true.”
She glanced his way. Okay, yeah. He was definitely still feeling guilty. “I startled you. You surprised me. I’m not made of glass, though, so stop treating me like I am. Now I know not to startle
you awake again.” She glanced around the floor for her shoes.
“There won’t be a next time,” he mumbled.
“What?”
“Shit.” His jaw clenched. But he didn’t once look away from her face. “I tried to keep my distance
from you. I really did. Because I didn’t want what happened last night to happen in the first place.
But now that it has…now you know why I won’t let it happen again.”
“Hold on a minute. What are you saying?”
“I’m saying, while we figure out who set you up, I’ll be staying somewhere else.”
Her eyes narrowed as his words sank in. “Wait. Let me get this straight. I know this doesn’t have to
do with you wanting me, because I was there last night. I know you do. So you’re telling me now
you’re not going to sleep with me again, all because I startled you awake?” She rolled her eyes.
“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Hailey—”
“I already told you there’s no chance I could have gotten pregnant. If you’re worried about that I’ll
make sure we—”
“Jesus, Roarke, I killed a man!”
Her mouth snapped shut, and silence fell like a dark shroud between them. In the stillness, he
rubbed a hand down his face. “Fuck, I didn’t want to tell you this.”
Yeah. She could see that in the tension etched into his face. “You’re a cop. And…things happen in
the line of duty. So…I’m not sure what that has to do with you and me.”
He looked up at the ceiling, seemed to gather his thoughts. And suddenly she wasn’t sure she wanted to know what he was about to tell her. “You asked me if I ever thought about marriage. I did.
Once. About a year ago. Tony and I got called out on a homicide. In the projects. A twenty-twoyear-old hooker had been sliced and diced. We knew it was her pimp who did it. He’d cut her in
places to make sure if she lived she’d never work again.”
Hailey’s stomach rolled. “That’s sick.”
“I got the job of knocking on doors, looking for witnesses. This one apartment, two doors down…a
girl answered. She was young. Early twenties. Skin and bones. And scared out of her mind. But
what I noticed most were the bruises all over her face. Someone had beaten her good. She wouldn’t
talk to me, but I had a hunch she knew more than she was letting on. So I went back a few days later and tracked her down.
“She was wary at first. But after a while I got her to open up. Her name was Julie. She and the victim were friends. They worked for the same SOB.”
“She was a hooker, too.”
“She didn’t tell me much, and I knew the same POS who’d killed the other girl had beaten Julie
black and blue to keep her from talking. But I went back anyway. Several times. Until she agreed to
have coffee with me in a caféseveral miles away.”
Hailey sensed immediately something bad was coming, and her stomach tightened. “What happened?”
He looked toward the windows, somewhat lost in memories. “She’d been in Chicago less than six
months, followed her boyfriend there from North Dakota, and then he’d ditched her. She hadn’t
known anyone, didn’t have any money. There was no one she could call back home for help. She’d
met Dee Dee—the girl who was killed—at the bus station. Dee Dee’d given her a place to stay, had
told her how she could make some cash, had introduced her to Malcolm.”
The pimp. The way Shane said the man’s name sent ice to Hailey’s veins.
“Julie was…pretty. Like the girl next door. And so damn sweet, even after all the crappy luck she’d
been served. She’d gotten in with the wrong people. And she was stuck.”
“You helped her,” Hailey said, as understanding dawned. Of course he would have. He was a protector. Remembering the way Shane had reacted to her bruised face in Lake Geneva, she knew
without a doubt he’d helped this girl.
He nodded, swallowed. “She didn’t want me to. Took a couple of months before she’d let me. Going back and seeing her, talking her out of staying. But eventually…yeah, I helped her get away