Read Stone Cold Cowboy Online

Authors: Jennifer Ryan

Stone Cold Cowboy (20 page)

She wanted the same. But she didn't want there to be any reason for her to stay except the one that mattered most. She wanted to be here. With Rory.

Fires burned out. You have to feed them, let them live and breathe.

Yes, sometimes they'd fade to glowing embers, but only if the fire was stoked enough to burn hot enough to create those coals. She didn't want their relationship to be something that flashed and burned out quickly. She wanted it to be a living thing they worked to keep alive. That was fire, life, a relationship, marriage, love.

“I need to go home and take care of a few things.” The disappointment in his eyes warmed her heart and solidified her decision. “I'll pack up more clothes. Underwear.”

The light in his eyes sparked. “You don't need those.”

She laughed. “Maybe not, but they do make things more comfortable.”

“Whatever. I'm glad you decided to stay.”

“Yeah, well, at least until those guys are caught, right?”

“We'll see.”

He may have said the words, but something told her he didn't mean them. Did he truly want her to move in with him? She didn't dare ask. It was too soon. Right?
And yet she planned to go home, pack a bag, and stay here for some undetermined amount of time. A flutter of anticipation shivered in her belly. Mostly because she thought of where she'd be sleeping tonight. In his bed. In his arms. After thinking her life was over hanging in that tree, her father dying so young, she didn't want to waste a single day she had left on this earth. She wanted to live and do the things she wanted to do. The things that made her happy. Not for anyone else, but for herself. She wanted to be with Rory, so she would be with Rory. She didn't care what anyone thought about them getting together so fast. It didn't seem fast to her. It seemed right. No, it was right.

“What is that face you're making? Are you angry?”

“No. Determined.”

“Uh, about what?”

“Doing what I want for a change.”

“Okay. What do you want to do?”

“Stop doing what others want me to do or think I should do. I want to be here with you, so I'm not going to worry about what other people think.”

“Who the fuck cares what they think?”

“Exactly. You want me here. I want to be here. So I'm sleeping with you tonight.”

“I'm all for that,” Rory teased.

“I didn't mean it like that.”

“Oh, I hope you did,” he teased again.

She smacked him on the arm and tried to hold back the laugh she let loose anyway. “Stop. You know what I mean.”

“I know, but I love it when you smile, even more when you laugh.”

“You know what I like about you?”

“What?”

“The way you make me feel when you kiss me.”

“Well, sweetheart, lucky for you, that's my favorite thing to do.” He drew her close, dipped his head, and kissed her softly, his gaze locked with hers, a light of mischief brightening the hazel depths. He made her smile and forget all her troubles, if only for a little while. When she was with him, she didn't think about anything. Her worries went away.

She closed her eyes, sank into the kiss he masterfully laid on her, and let everything else go, hoping she could get through the next few days and settle her father's affairs. Then she could begin the next chapter of her life. Something she now looked forward to because she wouldn't be alone. No, that new life included being Rory Kendrick's live-in girlfriend and lover.

CHAPTER 21

S
adie held Rory's hand in the front seat of the truck. She'd gone quiet on him. Worried about her, every few minutes he cast his glance her way. She didn't meet his gaze; instead she stayed inside her head and the dark thoughts that intruded when she grew tired of trying to keep them at bay. Her father lying bloody on the floor moaning and holding his head, disoriented and in so much pain. The depth of agony in his dark eyes so different from the love she always saw there when he looked at her. That evening all she'd seen was his fear that he'd come to the end of his life and he wasn't ready to go. She didn't know how long he'd been on the floor. She'd done what she had to do.

Exactly what she needed to do now. Get the job done.

Which meant going back into the house, cleaning up the mess, sorting through her father's papers and things, and making the tough decisions about the house, her life, and her future.

“Sadie, sweetheart, we're here.”

She stared at the house like she was seeing it for the first time. The four-bedroom, three-bath, ranch-style home needed a new coat of white paint. The gray
stone pillars that held up the wraparound porch overhang were covered in mostly dead vines that needed to be cut down. A few rugged bushes and wild roses flourished despite her neglect. The porch steps needed to be repaired, along with several other things in the house, including a few holes in the walls, thanks to her brother. His bedroom needed the most work.

Yep, nothing much had changed in the last handful of years. Except one thing. Her. She'd changed when her father died. Maybe before that, when she met Rory. The dreams she'd once held close, then buried in the deepest part of her heart, sprang free and illuminated a brighter future than the past she'd been living day in and day out, never getting anywhere, always stuck exactly where she was in life.

Not anymore.

“Sadie?” Rory's deep voice held a wealth of concern about her continued silence.

“There's no one home.”

The house stood as empty as her heart. The depth of sadness washed over her for the loss of her family. The loss of the dream of what she hoped that family could have been, but never was. She'd had her mother for too short a time, her father to see her through the tough teenage years and the years trying to keep Connor on the right path, but now she was as alone as her weathered old house looked without a family living in it.

She didn't know if she could live in it alone. The loneliness of it just might kill her.

“Sadie, sweetheart, I am so sorry for your loss.” Rory kissed the back of her hand. So kind. So understanding.

“I tuck it away for a while, but then it hits me all at
once. This pain. He's gone. They're all gone. Connor may still be here, but I've lost him, too. He's not the little brother I remember. He's turned into a man I don't know, or understand, or even like.”

She didn't have to stay in that lonely house. Tonight, for as long as he wanted her to stay at his place, she'd be with Rory. “I'm so glad you're here.”

“You're everything to me.”

Stunned by the softly spoken words, she let them sink into her heart, easing the pain and sorrow she carried with her. He meant those simple words, and they lit her up with love.

Rory leaned over and kissed her softly.

The connection, the love, the understanding they shared flared.

She pressed her hand to his smooth cheek and held the kiss for a couple extra seconds. As much as she loved his scruffy-beard look, the man was even more handsome clean-shaven. She slid her hand along his face and into his damp hair, holding the dark golden locks and him to her.

She leaned back, breaking the kiss, but not her hold on him. “I'm glad you're here.” She meant more than just beside her in the truck, seeing her through this ordeal. She meant in her life.

“There's nowhere I'd rather be.”

“Good, because I really don't think I can let you go.” She gripped his hair a bit tighter, careful not to actually hurt him.

“Then hold on, because I don't want you to let go.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

It seemed everything had been settled with those
simple words. An understanding they'd both reached separately, acknowledged and accepted out loud without spelling it out with words that didn't explain it accurately or completely. “Okay” explained it all.

“Do you want me to go in and pack some things for you? You can wait out here if you want.”

“That's sweet, but I need to do it. I'm just stalling.”

“You've got a dozen reasons for not wanting to go in there. Any one reason in particular holding you back?”

“I see him lying there in my head. Seeing the mess again . . . It's hard.”

“Sadie, sweetheart, I should have told you. I had a cleaning crew come and clean the house.”

She cocked her head and stared at him, surprised. “You did?”

“The day your father went to the hospital. I came here looking for you, saw the blood and thought the worst. After Bell called to tell me where you were, I called my house and asked my grandfather to send the cleaning crew here. I didn't want you to come home to that.”

“I . . .”
Love you
stuck on the tip of her tongue. She couldn't just blurt that out because he'd done something so thoughtful and kind and sweet and just for her. “I don't know what to say.”

“Thank you,” he suggested. “It's nothing, sweetheart. The smallest thing I could do to make this easier for you.”

“That's just it, isn't it? The small things people do to show they care. Those are the things that mean so much. So thank you. You're sweet.” She kissed him softly. A small display of the depth of her feelings for him, but again, something simple that meant so much.

“Whatever you do, don't tell my brothers, or anyone
else, you think I'm sweet.” He scrunched up his mouth into a sour face, but the light in his eyes told her he was kidding.

“Your secret is safe with me.”

“There's a hint of the smile I've missed since we headed over here.” He brushed his fingers over her lips, making her want to stay in the truck and kiss him the rest of the day and get another taste of the fire they'd started last night. “Don't look at me like that, we'll never get out of this truck.”

“Would that be so bad?” She cocked up one eyebrow and smiled softly.

He pointed his finger at her. “Stop procrastinating and driving me crazy.” The finger pointed at her shifted to point out the truck window. “Out.”

“You're no fun.” She pouted.

“That's not what you thought last night.” With that parting shot, he opened his door and got out. She caught the hint of a smile on his lips when he turned back and held his hand out for her to take so he could help her out of the truck.

“I'm happy to let you change my mind back to what I thought last night.”

Rory tugged her into his chest. His mouth crashed into hers for a hungry kiss. His tongue slid along hers, tasting and tempting her to ride the wave of pure lust he unleashed inside her. His hands slid down her back and over her bottom. He pulled her close, snug against his hard length. She rocked her hips against him. The low growl he let loose reverberated through her chest and straight down to her belly.

As fast as the kiss started, he ended it, holding her away by her hips. “No.”

“No?” He'd scrambled her brain. She truly had no idea what he meant.

His soft chuckle made her focus on his smile, the gold and green in his eyes, the way his long hair swept back away from his too handsome face. “God, you're gorgeous.”

“Are you drunk?” he teased.

“On you.”

Rory took her hand and tugged her toward the house. “Come on, crazy girl. Let's get this done. I'll take you riding later.”

“Really?”

“Sure. Why?”

“Don't you have work to do? I've kept you from it for days.”

“My brothers and the ranch hands have it covered.”

“You really don't mind spending all this time with me, doing all this depressing stuff.”

“The circumstances may be hard, but spending time with you isn't.” Rory took her keys and opened the front door. The fresh scent of pine and flowers the cleaning crew left behind wafted out on the soft breeze.

Rory took a step away, but she held him back, her hand locked in his, their fingers laced together.

“What is it, sweetheart?”

“Thank you.” She walked right into him, wrapped her arms around his neck, and hugged him tight, taking in his now familiar scent. Horses, grass, leather, and him. The man she loved more and more. So much so that soon it would be too hard to hold back telling him. Showing him.

Why was she waiting?

He'd shown her time and again how much he cared
about her. Maybe he didn't love her, but he definitely wanted a relationship with her, but did he want forever, or just right now?

If she told him, would he back away? Would he tell her he loved her, too? If he did, would it just be because she'd said it and he thought she expected him to say it? No. Rory wasn't the kind of guy who said something without meaning it.

Still, she held back, but hugged him tighter, hoping he understood everything in her heart that she couldn't find the courage to say out loud. Not yet. But she would soon, because she didn't want to risk not telling him and him not knowing if something happened to her.

A chill ran up her spine. She wished she could shake the feeling that after all the bad she'd suffered, there was still more pain to come.

“Hey now, sweetheart, what's all this? Everything is fine.” Rory rubbed his hands up and down her back, soothing her.

“It's nothing. I'm just so lucky to have you, is all.”

“I'm pretty sure all the luck is on my side. Let's hope it doesn't run out. I'd hate for you to figure out you can do a hell of a lot better.”

He teased, but under the joking she sensed a trace of unease in him. Maybe they both needed to be reassured everything was fine between the both of them. They were both dealing with uncertainty and the newness of their relationship. Not to mention the overwhelming connection and pull between them. Something she'd never experienced and didn't want to lose.

“I can't do better.” She leaned back and looked him in the eye. “I already have the best.”

His hands contracted on her hips. He held her tight,
staring down at her. The intensity in his eyes stunned her, but she fell into the depths and saw that her words touched him deeply.

Rory didn't speak. He didn't have the words to tell her what she'd said meant everything to him. He never needed anyone in his life to make him feel whole. He missed his parents. The knot of pain lived inside him. He'd gotten used to it. He felt their absence all the time. Somehow Sadie had become such a part of him that if he lost her, he'd spend the rest of his life feeling like a piece of him was missing or dead. Even the thought made his gut tighten and his heart squeeze painfully. Without her, it might stop altogether.

He bent his knees, drew his hands up her back, wrapped his arms around her, hugged her close, and picked her right up off her feet. Her toes banged against his shins. Her arms wrapped tight around his head. He buried his face in her neck and inhaled, filling himself up with her sweet scent and the way she made him feel.

“Rory, someone is coming down the driveway.”

He gently set her back on her feet, cupped her face, and stared down into her worried blue eyes. “I'll never let anything bad happen to you again.” He pressed his forehead to hers, then gave her a quick kiss to seal that promise.

“Miss Higgins?” the man asked, stepping out of his white Ford truck.

“Need to change that soon,” Rory said under his breath.

“What?” Sadie asked, turning back from walking down the steps to greet the stranger walking their way.

“Nothing,” Rory mumbled, waiting for the nerves to hit. Nothing. Not even a second thought. Just a sense
that everything was right. The same feeling he got every time he looked at her.

He didn't like the look of the man approaching her. In a few long strides, Rory was off the porch and at her side, his arm banded around her back, his hand firm on her hip. He'd never been a possessive man, but with her, all bets were off.

“Who are you?” Rory hadn't meant the question to sound so much like a demand.

Sadie's head snapped toward him. The guy caught Rory's eye, then dipped his gaze to Rory's hand on Sadie's hip. Good. He got the message.
Mine. Hands off
.

“Agent Cooke.” Sadie somehow knew the guy's name. Did she know him?

Cooke's eyes narrowed on Sadie. “How did you know?”

“You look just like your brother Trigger.”

“Either he told you, or you're more observant than the average person.”

“Observant. Especially when someone puts a gun to my head and goes by Trigger.”

“Most people would freak out and blunder all the details.”

“I'm not most people. Your brother made it clear in his own way he had no intention of hurting me despite how he made it look.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, so tell me why he'd do that when you're both after my brother.”

“Observant and smart.” Cooke shook his head, looked off in the distance, lost in thought.

“What do you want?” Rory asked, hoping to get
some information and some good news—like Connor and his cohorts would be behind bars immediately.

“The same thing you want. This to be over.”

“Trigger needs to get out from under cover,” Sadie said, her words soft and full of understanding. “You're worried about him.”

“Let's hope you're not too damn smart for your own good.”

“Watch it,” Rory warned, stepping in front of Sadie and staring down the asshole.

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