Stories Beneath Our Skin (14 page)

"
Any of this supposed to be a compliment?" Liam wiped uselessly at his face, trying to keep his vision clear. "Or you know, make sense?"

"
I'm getting there!" Two laughing women raced by them, their flip-flops thudding against the pavement. A crack of thunder chased after them. "The thing is, you turned out to be this brilliant, kind guy with a sense of humor and a decent taste of music. You're actually sort of awesome. And you're just... there. All the time. Being like that. So yeah, I have to remind myself you're off limits. That you're just going to leave and go back to being brilliant with other brilliant people soon."

"
Great. You keep reminding yourself then." Liam threw up his arms. "Just leave me out of it. I already know. Reminders not required nor desired."

He strode back to the car, eating up sidewalk. He was uncomfortably aware of Ace coming up behind him and lingering just out of sight. Hands grown clumsy from the growing chill, he had to fumble his keys out of his pocket and into the car door. Eventually he made it though
, and it was only the drowned rat look of Ace's dreadlocks that made him unlock the passenger door too.

They rode home in damp uncomfortable silence.

Liam slammed his car door shut with more violence than it required, taking petty relief in stomping through puddles up to the front door. Once he'd wrestled the swollen wood open, he kicked off his shoes and dripped pitifully onto the hallway rug. Ace had a harder time of it, struggling with the sodden laces on his boots before he could get out of them. George emerged from under the couch, watching them both with faint disdain, then stalking off when the first hint of a droplet hit his fur.

The dark clouds rendered the house a silent, foreign country with shifting shadows and the first sighs of cool air seeping in through the cracks. Ace kicked off his second boot until it fell with a dull thud onto the floor.

The truly insane thing was that Ace looked awful. There was nothing attractive about the reddened tip of his nose or the sodden mop of his hair. Even the peppermint smell that Liam usually relished had been diluted by polluted rainwater. He looked tired and vulnerable, naked and silly. Yet even diminished in his socked feet and defeated by damp, all Liam wanted to do was kiss him.

And he was done with waiting and denying himself. Every good thing in Liam
's life had become just out of reach, just around a corner. A good meal, a good night's sleep, someone he could talk to honestly... they were all so very close and yet so far from him. Maybe it was all wrong, but he was so very tired of doing the correct thing and living on not enough.

"
Fuck it." He didn't give Ace time to react, just bent down and kissed him once, featherlight, then again with more intent when he wasn't pushed away.

"
Damn it," Ace muttered between their lips, before fisting his hands into the front of Liam's soaked shirt and pulling him closer.

They kissed for molasses
-slow minutes as the thunder rolled in over and over. Their skin shook off the chill and turned feverish. One of Ace's hands strayed to the hem of Liam's shirt.

"
My bedroom," Liam breathed out, thinking quickly. The curtains were drawn in there. It would be dark enough that no awkward questions would get raised. Now wasn't the time for stories. There would be a time though. He knew that now.

"
In that tiny bed?" Ace protested.

"
Not doing it in Gene's room. Too weird."

They made it into his room without further argument. It was pleasantly dim inside
, and to Liam's relief, Ace made no move to turn on the lights. Instead, he shoved his hands under Liam's t-shirt and dragged it upwards, fingernails trailing promising sparks over his skin.

"
Too damn tall." Ace shoved him gently onto the bed as he took off his own shirt.

"
Sorry," Liam said senselessly, free now to reach out and run his palms over the deep cut muscle under bright ink.

"
Lose the pants, and you're forgiven."

It took some doing to discard the saturated denim, but as soon as he
'd managed it, Ace slid into his lap. Liam bit back a moan, the intensity of skin on skin overloading him. He settled his hands on Ace's back, mapping out hard lines of rib, spine and shoulders.

"
No one around to hear, Professor," Ace said, voice gone deep and gritty as he nipped at Liam's bottom lip. "Let it out."

Liam kept his silence as Ace made a feast of his lips. He didn
't make a sound when Ace pushed him back on the bed and trailed biting kisses from his neck to the waistband of his boxers. When clever hands laid him bare at last, a small hitch barely dimpled the air.

"
Look at me," Ace demanded.

There wasn
't much to see in the remains of the day's grey light. Eyes reduced to points of reflected light, and the dim outline of a face Liam had long ago memorized. Ace reached out and tangled his hand with Liam's, thumb teasing light strokes over Liam's sensitive fingertips.

When Ace finally lowered his mouth to Liam
's cock, the first tiny whine escaped from his throat. It had been a long time since that sound had broken loose. He wanted to call it back, strike all of the last ten minutes from the record. He didn't want to remember Brandon just now, the way he'd tease about Liam's pitiful sounds. Called him puppy and kitten, tickling him until he screamed for mercy.

Ace sucked hard at him. Liam whimpered again, clutching at Ace
's hand. He anchored himself in Ace's calloused fingers, hardened where Brandon had been soft, tender where Brandon had been sharp. The heat of Ace's mouth, the sweet warmth of it, brought Liam back into the moment. Each time he drew off, Ace would drag the point of his clever tongue under the head of Liam's cock. Each time, Liam bucked and shuddered and whimpered. Ace would chuckle, the vibrations building on the rising pleasure.

"
Gonna..." Liam choked off.

Ace didn
't pull away. He squeezed Liam's hand, encouragement and permission all at once. Liam threw an arm over his face, one last choked noise tripping out of his mouth before he came hard enough to see stars. Dimly, he was aware of Ace swallowing down hard and a last lingering lick to his over sensitive flesh.

"
Hey." Ace plucked at Liam's arm. "You okay under there?"

"
Yeah." He huffed a laugh and let his arm drop away. Ace loomed over him. "God. You have no idea..."

"
That's what happens when you don't clean the pipes for three years." Ace dropped to his elbows, leaning in to kiss him. Liam tasted the bitter edge of himself on Ace's lips. "You always carry on like that?"

"
Yeah." Liam sighed. "I know it’s stupid, but I can't help myself."

"
Stupid?" Ace rutted once against Liam's thigh, letting him feel the hard line of his erection through the thin barrier of his boxers. "Sounds sexy as fuck. God. I knew you'd be gorgeous when you finally let loose, but that was nuclear levels of hot."

"
Can I?" Liam dropped his hand down.

"
Anything." Ace rolled onto his back, almost spilling them both onto the floor as the small mattress tilted precariously. "Fuck!"

"
I've got you." Liam hauled him back over, trying not to laugh.

"
I don't care what hang ups you've got. We're not sleeping here." Ace huffed, even as he dragged Liam over on top of him blanket-like.

Liam hadn
't thought as far ahead as sleep. The invitation warmed him even as it settled on him uneasily. Sex was one thing, but sharing a bed was another. He filed it away to worry about later, before shimmying down Ace's body and hooking his fingers under the elastic of his boxers. Ace lifted his hips agreeably and sighed softly when Liam wrapped a hand around the base of him.

"
You're not circumcised." Liam stroked a curious hand over the unfamiliar skin.

"
That a problem?" Ace reached down, smoothing back a lock of hair over Liam's ear.

"
No. Just something new."

"
Works about the same."

It had been a long time since Liam had last licked his lips and swallowed down around a heated weight. It tasted like he remembered: sweat, copper
, and a drip of bittersweet at the back of his throat. Everything else was different though. Ace's hands were everywhere, mussing Liam's hair and tracing the stretched line of his lips. Under Liam's grip, Ace's thighs flexed strong and powerful. It stirred in Liam's gut, this submission of a prone body given over to his care willingly. Deep gasps and appreciative moans lapped into Liam's ears, renewing his efforts.

It all stood in stark contrast to Brandon
's endless demands and silent convulsions.

"
Please..." Ace's hips rose a fraction off the bed. "Ah..."

Liam couldn
't swallow the bitter flood, but he tried not to make a big show of spitting into a tissue. Ace either didn't notice or didn't care, melted over the sheets.

"
Worth it?" Liam asked, sitting back on his haunches.

"
Mmm." Spreading his arms further in clear invitation, Ace smiled up at him. "You are... I need some new words. Stunning. Fantastic. Impossible, maybe. Whatever. Just come here."

They lay together in the shadow of the rain on the window. A hundred bees of anxious thought buzzed at Liam, but he managed to ignore them all for the rest of the night.

Chapter Ten

Liam woke to a featherlight touch over the thin skin of his stomach. It brought him instantly awake, and he nearly elbowed Ace in the face in his haste to escape it.

"
Jesus!" Ace threw himself back at the last moment.

"
Sorry! Sorry. Shit." Liam took in a long breath and then another.

Tentatively, Ace crawled back along the mattress. When Liam leaned toward him, Ace put an arm over his shoulders and drew him close. A kiss landed on Liam
's temple, another on the highest point of his cheek, and the last on his forehead.

"
Who did this to you?" Ace's gaze dropped back to Liam's abdomen, laid bare by the sunlight that had just begun to creep through the curtains.

The winding scarring script emblazoned over Liam
's skin seemed to reach for the light as if it wanted the attention. As if Brandon was demanding it. It was his signature, after all, ingrained there forever with its preposterously large B and the rest disintegrating into illegibility. It shone in black script and puckered pink lines of scar tissue, still laying its master's claim to Liam's body.

"
Do we have to talk about it right now?" Liam brought his legs up to his chest, folding the ugly mess of ink away.

"
Depends." Ace sighed.

"
On what?"

"
On what you want from me. I mean, if this is just a fling until... well. Until you go back to college, then no. Doesn't matter at all, and you don't have to tell me shit. But if not..."

Silence descended, Ace
's fingers tracing distracting circles over Liam's bare shoulder. He wanted to roll into the touch, skipping talk for another round of sheet tearing. Maybe Ace would even let him, but it would break down the bridge they'd started building together.

The last four years of Liam
's life had been spent trying press down all the ugliness of his time with Brandon. It had never worked. He'd only succeeded in cutting himself off from the trusting piece of his bleeding heart that got him in trouble in the first place. Now there was Ace coaxing it back out into the open.

Despite the tension, Liam relished the company in bed, the press of their bodies companionable and promising. He
'd been too alone for too long, greedy for affection. Whatever Ace could offer him, Liam wanted it. A day, a week, a month... it didn't matter. The decision to tell him had already been made, and the when of it could only be put off so long.

"
I never told anyone." Even admitting that there was something to admit to pained him. It scalded his throat, closed it up. "Back then or since."

"
That sounds healthy." Ace picked up the blanket and drew it back over them. "Why not?"

"
What it said about me. I was supposed to be a smart kid. Sensible, you know? And I just kept making these terrible choices. I knew he was bad news, but the way he looked at me--" Eyes like fire, trailing hot over Liam's body as if it already owned it. "I was an idiot."

"
How old were you?"

"
Nearly seventeen."

"
So sixteen." Ace snorted. "You were a kid, not stupid. We all do crazy things when we're kids. Crazy people, too. You've seen the tattoo on my ankle. I'll tell you about my high school girlfriend sometime."

"
You had a girlfriend?"

"
A few. Told you it took me awhile to figure things out. Probably made them all miserable too, considering. So you know, I get bad decisions." Ace trailed a hand up and down Liam's arm, soothing and rhythmic. "Tell me."

"
There was a boy." He started then stopped, something strange occurring to him. "He was the same age then as I am now. God. Guess he wasn't really a boy at all, was he? Hard to think of him as a man though."

"
A twenty-two-year-old? Macking on you at sixteen?" Ace made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat. "Should've been in handcuffs, not in your bed."

"
He seemed like he was my age. Acted like it." Liam couldn't imagine showing interest in one of the high school kids he sometimes saw walking by the house. They looked too unformed, still sorting out their bodies and tripping over their own feet. Had he looked like that? He must've.

"
Where'd he even meet you?"

"
He was the guy at the community college that got me into tattooing." Liam stared up at the ceiling. A cobweb lingered in one corner. "He got me in where he worked. They liked my sketches, so they let me sweep the floors and tattoo some pig skins. It was probably illegal as hell, but they never cared much."

"
Let me guess, paid you in cash?"

"
All under the table. What little they did pay me." Liam shrugged. "I didn't care. This guy wasn't subtle about his interest you know? It was the first time anyone had checked me out, let alone flirted with intent. I soaked it up. He was hot and funny. Half-drunk most of the time, though I didn't figure that out until later."

"
Sounds like a real charmer," Ace grumbled.

"
He was." Liam shrugged. "Or he was to me back then anyway."

"
So I'm guessing this went beyond flirting?"

"
I stayed late one night. They closed a lot earlier than Great Sin, and there was usually scut work to do, which of course, fell to me. He stayed too. There was beer, I think. Can't really remember anymore. Lost my virginity right on the shop floor."

"
And you were okay with that?" Ace's nose wrinkled. "Man, and I thought my first time was uncomfortable."

"
Why? Where was yours?"

"
Backseat of my first car. Piece of shit that barely ran, and the springs in the seat were shot to shit. They were made of this cracked vinyl that I kept sticking to. She was nice about it at least. Could've been worse."

"
Kind of cliché there. First guy?"

"
Even less comfortable. Any kind of sex in the desert, even quickies with your staff sergeant, are uncomfortable. Lead to sand in places sand should never be." Ace laughed softly into Liam's shoulder. "Panic didn't help. We were sloppy and stupid about it. Not floor of a shop sloppy, though. Must've been hard as hell on your back."

"
I was sixteen. My back could take it." Liam snorted. "Anyway, I wouldn't have objected if he wanted to fuck me on the sidewalk back then. I wasn't quite out in high school, and at the community college, most people thought I was too young to talk to let alone hang out with. So I didn't have a ton of options, and here comes this gorgeous guy, who wants me like burning? How was I supposed to say no to that?"

"
You weren't. That's why statutory rape is a thing." Ace kissed the curve of Liam's shoulder. "Informed mature consent. Sort of important. How was it?"

"
The sex? Good enough to repeat. A lot. He said I was his boyfriend after a few weeks, and I pretty much fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. Hell, he may have been telling the truth in his own demented way. I don't think there was anyone else back then at least."

"
What'd Gene have to say about that?"

"
I didn't tell him." Liam scrubbed a hand over his face. "I sort of knew, deep down, that something was wrong. That I was wrong. But he'd done so much for me already, and I always tried to do things on my own. Not burden him. And... I didn't want to admit I'd made a mistake. That I didn't know how to unmake it. That I didn't even want to."

"
How long did it take you to want to unmake it?" Ace turned on his side, propping himself up on one elbow.

"
Too late. Long after it mattered. He'd left me by then. Found another guy his own age."

"
Yeah, a little late for that. That must've been rough though. Having your first guy walk out on you."

"
It was the best thing he could've done for me. Not that he did it for me." Liam rubbed at his eyes. "I fell hard for him. Got stupid with it, ignored the warning signs. He'd take me out after work, buy me liquor or scrounge up E from some dealer friend of his. All the easiness I'd liked about him disappeared. He got possessive if I so much as talked to another guy. Then he tried to get me to move in with him so that Gene wouldn't know how late I was staying out or where I was. It was intense, you know? I thought it was because he loved me. He said that he did all the time."

Liam tried not to look at Ace
's face, didn't want to see whatever judgment might be lingering there. Instead, he closed his eyes and thought about the ocean rolling in. He'd loved driving out to the coast when he was at Berkeley and sitting on the beach. Sometimes he'd bring a book, but it was just a pretense. It would soon be forgotten in favor of watching the waves crash and recede.

"
So he was a douchebag and a fucking felon. Not your fault." Ace kissed him, once, fleeting and light like a benediction. Liam tried not to flinch away, too raw in the moment. "He hurt you, didn't he?"

"
It was only little things." Liam swallowed hard. The waves rolled in and out. "He never hit me. But he'd grab me too hard, leave a bruise. It would get rough while we kissed, and he'd start biting. We'd roughhouse a little, but he'd take it too seriously if I got the upper hand, you know? It was nothing I could point to and say
that's too far
. No line I could draw in the sand."

"
Then he fucked up your skin."

"
No. Well, not at first." The sharp heat of tears built behind his eyes, so he stopped until he was sure they had retreated. "He did my back as a birthday present, my chest over that summer. We'd been together nearly a year by then."

"
I really don't want to believe an asshole like that did such nice work." Ace pressed his palm over the bursting mechanical heart on Liam's chest. "Your designs though, right?"

"
Yeah, of course. He wasn't... it wasn't all one thing, you know? He was a good guy a lot of the time. A great artist. Made sure the other guys at the shop saw my work. It was because of him they let me work on people instead of pig."

"
Too late. I already fucking hate him," Ace declared, and it startled a laugh out of Liam. It was weird, laughing about anything to do with it.

"
I hated him for a long time." He pulled the quote out that he'd always thought applied the best to the situation. "
Love, when you get fear in it, it's not love any more. It's hate."

"
Who said that one?"

"
James Cain from
The Postman Never Rings Twice
. It's funny. I should have been terrified all the time I was with him. But it wasn't until afterward that it caught up with me. Got all these weird tics and shit." Liam laughed, mirthlessly. "Still can't stand showering with the door open."

"
I wasn't scared once in Afghanistan," Ace confessed. "Kept my head, kept my cool, every day. Never flustered. Got a rep for it. Then I get home, and everything freaks me out. All it took was a cat yowling or a door slamming, and I was on my feet trying to shoot it all down. Why I never bought a civilian gun. I was terrified I'd accidentally hurt Mom or Joy or Cole."

"
Did you ever see anyone about it?" Liam opened his eyes, focused on the tight lines around Ace's eyes.

"
Nah. I talked to my mom a lot. And Goose when we became friends again. He'd prop me up at Frankie's bar and draw it all out of me. Once Deb got back, we helped each other. I hired her 'cause she helped keep my head on straight. Guess she still does. It all took a while, but it worked out in the end. Sometimes it still gets to me, but there's people to work with me through it. Pain shared, you know? Well. Maybe you don't if you've never tried it."

"
It's different for you." Liam grimaced. "You went to war, earned it. Everyone gets that. They think better of you for it, not worse. No one wants to hear a privileged white boy whine about how his boyfriend was a little rough with him."

"
He tattooed you hard enough to scar." Ace's hand crept down to press over the rough lines. "That's abuse any way you look at it, and I don't care who you are -- that's fucking wrong. You earned the right to be heard, okay? I want to hear it."

"
He didn't mean to." Liam reached down, tugged Ace's wrist away. The skin always felt sensitive there, too raw as if it might open up all over again. "We'd been drinking in the back of the shop."

"
He tattooed you drunk?" The pitch of Ace's voice slid up in shock. "Who the hell gave this fuckwad a license?"

"
He was good. Usually. Just not when he was drunk and..." Liam made a vague motion.

"
And what? Stoned?"

"
No. Well. Yeah, probably. But... We..." Liam started to shake, the memory flooding over him like it had happened yesterday. "I was sort of out of it. He liked it like that. Got me all loose or whatever."