Authors: Evelyn Rosado
“My life can’t get any worse,” I say to myself.
Chase’s eyes dart over to me and his look is dumbfounded. He grins and shakes his head. The word seriously seemed to be mouthed by him. Probably the same as how mine looks.
Chase He walks over to the back of the room and disappears into the office, marked into a door marked ‘employees only’.
“You kicking fucking tricked me. I can’t believe you would do something like this to me,” I say smacking Tessa on the knee.
She looks at me, shocked. “What did you hit me for? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You set me up. You brought me here so he can see me,” I say rolling up my yoga mat.
“I did not.”
“The hot yoga instructor, his eight pack abs. You set this all up.”
“That is NOT the yoga instructor. I guess he’s subbing for Marcos. I don’t know.”
“Go ask him.”
I put my shoes on. “I can’t believe this.” I say under my breath.
“What are you doing?” Tessa asks.
“Leaving. I’ll walk home. It’s not far off campus.”
“Leaving?” She grabs my wrist. “Stop it. For one, it’s seven o’clock. You’re not walking back to campus alone. After what happened? Are you dumb? And Two. These Groupon’s cost a lot of money. You’re already here. Just grin and bear it.”
“Are you serious? He’s a rapist.” Two girls come through the doors. I lower my voice to a whisper. “He raped a girl. I can’t stand to be in the same room as him. I don’t care if he doesn’t know that I know.”
She hands me the keys. “You can sit in the car then.”
I grab her wrist. “No you’re coming, too. Sisters in solidarity. I’ll pay you back for the Groupon.”
As we get ready to walk out, Chase exits the office. “You two are leaving already? Class is getting started.”
“Emergency. My cat is sick,” Tessa says.
“But you can’t leave,” he says. He looks dejected. And so cute. I hate myself for thinking this.
“We don’t support rapists,” I say.
His jaw drops. “What did you say?”
I practically dart out of the studio, Tessa in hand, absolutely avoiding the situation. I can’t face this.
We burst out of the doors and head to the car. “Wow. Well that was something wasn’t it?” Tessa says.
“Brynn! Wait.” Chase yells as we walk to the back row of the parking lot. “Brynn! Please.”
He runs over to us. “Who told you that?” He sprints over to us, before Tessa can get to her keys and to safety.
“Does it matter?” I say. “You raped somebody. I trusted you with my life. And you hide something like this from me?”
“It’s not true,” he says.
“Oh so now you’re going to lie about it?” Tessa says getting into the car.
“I’m not lying. I knew this was going to happen. That’s why I was afraid of telling you.”
“Wow thanks for the honesty. I really thought you were different. Tessa lets’ go.”
“Brynn, please it’s not what you think.”
“My brother works for the police he ran your record. He’s not going to lie,” Tessa says.
“Tessa!” I say.
“Sorry. I had to say it,” she says. “I just can’t stand here and let him lie to both of our faces and get away with it.
He places his hands over his head, frustrated and his face grimacing. “Fuck!” he screams.
“Chase,” I say. “Is it true? Just tell me. Right here. Right now. Tell me the truth. I want to hear it from your mouth.”
He turns away from me, pounding his fist in to his palm. He faces us, his lips parting, then shutting trying to find the right words. “Okay. You want the truth. I was arrested—”
“I knew it,” Tessa says. “He’s a fucking liar. Stood right here and said it wasn’t true.”
“Tessa, let him finish. I need this. For me. I need to hear him say it himself.”
He breathes deeper. “I was arrested for rape in the first degree.” I shake my head, my lip quivering. “I did six months in jail. And then I was released because I didn’t do it.”
“What?” Tessa and I say in unison.
“The girl lied.”
“Oh yeah right. They all say that,” Tessa says. “What a fucking creep.”
Chase eyes Tessa and then focuses back on me. “The girl, she and I dated. The girl was from a rich family and her father didn’t want her daughter dating ‘someone like me’. Word got around town. Their family’s reputation was on the line. They forced her to say I raped her. I got arrested and six months later I got released when she confessed the truth.” My jaw drops. “Brynn. It’s the truth. You gotta believe me. Tessa, whoever you talked to, maybe they didn’t see the entire file. I did not rape that girl. I would never do something as sick as that. You know me Brynn. I’m not proud of the things I did in my past, but I would never harm a woman. You know that.”
Tessa whips out her phone and steps out of the truck.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Calling my brother.” We’ll get to the bottom of this one way or another. Right fucking now.”
Chase grabs my hand, it’s clammy and trembling. For the first time I see him helpless, out of character.
“You gotta believe me,” he says, his voice shaking. His face is strained, feverish almost, like his entire world depends on what Tessa’s brother says.
I twist my head from left to right. On one hand I look right in his eyes and I see the purity in him. I want to believe him, but my entire life is full of empty promises and stone lies from men, old and young. No longer will I fall for it. But the way he holds me at night, the way that he was by my side in the hospital after I overdosed—I know the good in him and I just don’t believe he could do something like this.
“Is that right? I’ll let you tell her then,” Tessa says looking at me and then handing me the phone. “Here. You should hear it yourself.” I pull away from Chase.
My body feels like it’s ready to split apart into a million and one molten hot granite. I grit my teeth and say, “Hello?”
“Brynn. How are you?” Tessa’s brother James says. I hear the keys on his laptop dicing away. I pause and don’t answer the question and say nothing. He clears his throat. “Well Tessa just asked me to do a little more digging, it seems to me that the file
says
he was convicted of rape, but there was an amendment to the file that I overlooked. Come to find out that the victim confessed months later that she lied and that the suspect was innocent. She came forward with the truth and absolved him of any wrongdoing. In one month this is scheduled to be expunged from his file.”
“Really.” My voice is deadpan, unsure whether I posed or question or just made a statement.
“You are correct. Your friend Chase Knight Alexander is an innocent man young man. At least as far the rape conviction goes. All the other charges are confirmed convictions and will remain on his record.”
“James. Thank you. Thanks for taking the time out of your evening.”
“You’re welcome. Tell Tessa I love her for me.”
“I will.” My face is hot, but full of relief and almost also full of embarrassment. I hunch my shoulders forward and hand the phone to Tessa.
“You were innocent,” I say. This is it. This is his chance to chastise me. To tell me to go to hell. Straight to hell and never to talk to him again.
“I said I would never lie to you,” his head is bowed and the color is flowing back into his face. He grabs my hand again. “You mean too much for me to ever do that.”
“Chase I feel like shit.” Tessa smiles at me inching away from us.
“I’m gonna go to back inside to the bathroom,” she says. “I don’t think anybody can hear me anyway.” She says sarcastically before she darts off.
“Don’t say that. Please don’t,” Chase says to me.
“No, I doubted you the entire time. There’s no excuse for that. You’ve done nothing but help me and I never for one moment trusted your word.” I punch my fist into my thighs as my eyes begin to wet.
“You have a right to feel that way. With everything that you’ve gone through. That word rape, you have every right. That’s why I didn’t want to let things get further. I just felt you wouldn’t understand me.”
“I do understand,” I say. “My life is just as fucked up as your past is just as fucked up as yours.”
We both let out a soft chuckle.
“You get me.” He’s still holding my hand, squeezing it slighter each passing moment.
“So where do we go from here?” I bite my lip. He slowly pulls me towards him.
“Back into my fucked up world, if you’re not afraid.”
“When I’m with you I’m not afraid, Chase.” Our faces are inches away and he places his right hand on my cheek, still holding my hand in his left. He moves closer, I can feel the heat radiate on my lips. He pauses and licks his lips and parts them. The moment, only a spit second, seemingly lasts a million years. I missed his touch so much. It feels raw. It feels right. His hand slides to the back of my head, his hand full of hair, and plants his moist lips onto mine. I ached for his taste.
I hear Tessa walk back over to us. She clears her throat. I uncoil my tongue out of Chase’s wet, tender mouth. I don’t know how I did, that boy’s kiss is amazing. I open my eyes and Tessa is standing by the hood of the car, her arms folded, knee bent and eyes shrouded by dark brown sunglasses.
“You two want to get a room? Behind a dumpster or something. This is a public place you know?”
“I have to get started on class,” Chase says looking behind us. Girls with yoga pants, tank tops and colorful neon folded up mats underneath their arms filter into the studio. “Are you two still coming?”
“So she can get hot, sweaty and follow every position you tell her to? Hell yeah she wants to come. Hell, I don’t mind watching.”
“Tessa!” I say laughing, full of frightened embarrassment.
After class is over and I’m sitting in the corner, skin sensitive and hot, clothes drenched from forty minutes of downward dog and mountain poses in one hundred and five heat, I replenish myself with tap water I filled my squeeze bottle with.
Chase walks over to me, with a grin, twisting a cap off of a rectangular water bottle. “You okay trooper?” he asks.
I nod, taking another long swig. “Here,” he says handing me the bottle. “Don’t drink that campus tap water. The stuff’ll kill eat your insides.”
“We don’t want that do we?”
“This has electrolytes in it.”
“Why are you so helpful to me?”
He sits down next to me, sitting in child’s pose.
Two girls, sweat dripping from them, blotting towels to their face, say “Byyyye Chaaaaase.” Their eyes twinkle and they smiles are full of lust.
He waves his hand back to them with a polite smile. “Tyesha, Ayana—next week.”
“Are you teaching this Thursday?” says the long legged girl with dreadlocks.
“I’m not sure. Marcos is a busy man so you might see me filling in here more often.”
“I sure hope so,” she says winking at him before the two exit.
I never met someone so magnetizing. Women, scratch that, people in general were just drawn to him. Me being no different.
“Your fan club?” I say with a tinge of jealously.
“Jealous a bit are we?”
I wince, tilting my face towards my shoulder away from him. “Maybe,” I say slyly.
“You, Miss Storm,” he skims the bottom of my chin with his the tip of his index finger and looks me in the eye, “have absolutely nothing to worry about.”
Our eyes lock.
“Well after about twenty minutes of non-stop puking in the ladies room, I think I’m about ready to go,” Tessa says stammering over to us.
“And look, you were the main one calling me a first timer,” I say.
Chase’s head snaps back in laughter. “That’s right, Brynn looked like a vet.”
“Whatever.” Tessa says brushing her hand in playful disgust at us.
“So, Brynn. Can I see you tonight?” he asks.
I look at Tessa. “Can you give us a minute to talk?” I ask.
“Sure.” She walks towards the door and stops. “Damnit! We have to leave now or I’ll be late for my study group.”
“I’ll take her home,” Chase says gazing at me. “That is…if it’s okay with you.”
I nod and wink at Tessa.
“Call me,” she mouths to me. “Bye Chasey-Poo.” He shakes his head.
The door closes behind her and I clear my throat. “Interesting couple of days,” I say as Chase places a broom into the office.
“There’s never a dull moment in my life it seems.” He comes back out, pulling his red, soaked tank top over his head. It falls to the floor with a wet plop. I can’t take my eyes off of his body. It’s rippling. I feel my pussy quiver and I don’t know if I’m able to hide that look in my eye for him. He grins slightly. Nope. Can’t hide it at all. I just can’t help myself around him.
I can’t do it. I can’t have sex with him. Not this fast. There’s too much drama with him. Too much.
“Unfortunately.”
“I’m trying to work on that. Seriously,” he says. “You don’t know how glad I am to see you.”
He inches towards me. My heartbeat, still rapid from the intense heat, speeds up again. He brushes a damp curl behind my ear. “I realized the mistake I made pushing you away.” His hand rests on the side of my face, tracing his finger down to my chin. “I was so stupid.” I nod slightly, lost in his eyes. Those green eyes. Still piercing. His gaze always distant, distracted. Like his body is present, but his mind is somewhere beyond anywhere he or I could imagine. I see his hurt. I see his ache. Something inside of me is not letting me respond. I don’t know what to say. He pecks his lips against mine.
I shouldn’t do it, but his lips feel so good. Pecks turn to soft kisses. Then to tender bites of my lip. Now to harsh thrustings of his tongue. Then to a sloppy, urgent devouring of my mouth.
I can’t resist. I just can’t fight it.
“Brynn, I miss you so much,” he says in between stealing my trembling mouth.
“I miss you too,” I say. His kiss is molten-hot. I grab his sweaty waist, pulling him into me. I need to feel his skin next to mine. My breaths are coming quick and tight as he grabs the bottom of my tank to rip over my head.
I pull away.
“What’s wrong,” he says, his lips parted and plump, full of need.
“I just can’t,” I say shaking my head, drawing back from him more.
“A minute ago you seemed okay with this.”
“I did. And now all those feelings just came flooding back to me.” I slam my hands on to my head pacing around in a circle. “This is just moving too fast, okay? How can you expect me to just pick up where we left off? I don’t even know what I am to you?” He tries to grab my hand, but I inch away. “Tell me. Now.”
He pushes a hot breath out of his mouth. “I don’t know what we are.” His voice lowers.
“Oh, great. That means a lot.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he says.
“Chase this about trust.”
His tone is defensive. “Trust? Really? After all we’ve gone through you don’t trust me?” I fold my arms. “I should be asking you about trust.”
“Fuck you. I can’t believe you just said that.” I turn my face away from him.
“You hired some private investigator to do background check on me.”
“What was I supposed to do?” My voice echoes throughout the studio. The heat has me dripping with sweat, worked up.
“I just didn’t want to you to find out that way.”
“How else could I? You practically shit on everything we were. You shut me out. One day I’m with you and the next I don’t exist. You don’t do that to people Chase. You just don’t.”
“I did it to protect you.”
“Chase I don’t know what you think this is, but this is not some soap opera. This is my life. Real life. If you care about someone, you open up to them. You didn’t even give me a choice to decide for myself.”
“Brynn. It’s because I care about you. I didn’t know how to handle it. Everybody that’s come into my life, I’ve found some way to ruin their lives. I didn’t want to do that with you. It was wrong of me to do. I felt like complete shit for doing it, but I couldn’t bear seeing you get involved with me knowing everything that’s happened to you.”
“How do I know if there’s going to be more surprises.”
“I don’t know.”
“I just can’t do this. I don’t know how I can move on knowing how what I know.” I swallow the hardness in my throat. With a quaver in my voice I say, “Goodbye, Chase.” I turn around and walk towards the door. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. I don’t want to go, but I know I need to.
“Who’s going to protect you?” his asks, his voice desperate. I freeze in my steps. I want to speak but I can’t. His footsteps come towards me. “Who’s else knows what it’s like to feel like you can’t breathe. The walls closing in on you and it’s dark. So dark you feel like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. Those days that you don’t want to face the world. That you’re not brave enough.” He grabs my fingertips. I tremble. I can’t turn around. I just can’t. I’m scared. A flood is forming before my eyelids. “I know that feeling Brynn. I feel it everyday, but ever since I met you, you showed me there
is
hope. There is light. And when I pushed you away, it was hell. I was a wreck without you.” He turns me around. His bottom lip is shuddering. “Brynn I can’t promise you rose petals and rainbows with me. But I can promise you that you’ll never be alone with me. You’ll never have to doubt that I’m not in your corner, ready to take a bullet for you, ready to fall on the sword for you. My life is nowhere near perfect, but with you by my side, it’s the closest thing to perfection I’ll ever know.”
I cross my arms over my chest. My tears mix with the sweat trickling off my forehead down my cheeks. “Protect me Chase,” I say forcing the words out.
He reaches for me, wiping the wetness from beneath my eyes. He nods. “I’ll protect you,” he whispers. He envelops my face wit both of his hands and steals a deep kiss from me.
I feel like I’m back to that cold backseat on that Friday night, Chase coming to my rescue. I feel like I can’t exist without him. No matter what tries to pull us apart, no matter how screwed up it is—I don’t want to be without him. I feel alive with him. Without him, I’m a wreck.
I miss the fact that it feels like he’s the only person in this world who gets me. I miss his laugh, his eyes, the comfort of knowing I’m safe with him. I miss…his touch. It’s soothing and heats me up. The way he touches me rocks me to my core. I’m addicted to it.
He presses my body against the wall, shaking the mirror next to us. Rids himself of his clothes. He’s hard. Rock hard. His body is the most amazing I’ve ever seen on a man. It’s straight off a cover of a magazine. And he’s all mine, inches from me, his heat seeping into my pores. He rips my tank over my head and I pull my pants down, kicking my legs out of them.
His hands caress all over my slick, wanting body, ready for him. “Your body was made for me Brynn,” he says. I drink in his moist whispers, completely lost in the moment forgetting if I should care to think if this is a good or bad decision. I don’t care.
It.
Just.
Feels.
Amazing.
My teeth glide over the flesh of his shoulder, feeling every mound of his muscular back.
He skims his fingers over my clit, lightly grazing it. Just his touch is bringing me close to an orgasm. “Brynn, you’re so fucking wet.” Our lips are less than an inch away and his green eyes settle deep into mine, piercing through me. His touch almost stings from how much it feels so good. He can literally get me to do anything he wants me to do.
“Grab a condom.” I say forcing the words out.
“I don’t have any on me,” he says breathless.
“You teach a yoga class full of hot, sweaty girls, there’s got to be dozens of condoms lying here. Look in the office.”
I giggle as he darts into the office and returns with a dozen aqua blue packets attached together.
I bite my lip as he stands before me marveling at my body. I want him so much I’m trembling. His fingers travel between my soaked legs, as his lips gingerly bite on my nipple, teasing and then enveloping it into his sweltering mouth. His fingers leave from between my legs and I quaver from its absence.
My knees almost give out as he laps up my juices on his fingers. “Brynn you taste so good,” he says swirling them around his mouth. The calmness is his voice is totally opposite of my what’s going on inside my body, tense, trembling, aching. This boy knows exactly what he wants and what he wants to do to me.
“I want you inside me right fucking now,” I say, the words aching from my tongue. He picks up a condom lying on top of my yoga pants and rips one open with his teeth.
With the stroke of his forearm, he clears off the wooden antique table next to us. A wooden candleholder, books and a small Buddha statue tumble on to the floor. I hop on top and I bring my right leg up, propping my foot up on the edge of the table, opening my pussy further to him. I’ve never been so wet before.
He rolls the latex down his length and he grabs my waist, pulling me towards him. He grabs the back of my neck mashing my lips to his as his cock spears into me. I moan into his mouth. My eyes are shut hard as dig my nails into his stifling, wet skin.
This time it’s different. The way I want him goes beyond any feeling I can explain or imagine. His skin creates a craving. It hurts to be without it. It hurts so good.
“Chase it’s so fucking good,” I scream, my head banging into the wall. Animalistic grunts burst from my mouth. I grab the edge of the table so tightly, my palms will surely get splinters. The need in me intensifies, planting my hands on his ass, forcing him deeper inside of me, demanding he push harder into me. He pumps faster and faster into me, his neck straining with each thrust. The table bangs into the wall so hard I’m afraid we’ll break its legs. I moan loudly, feeling like I’m in a dreamlike state dripping with need.
“Fuck me harder!” I scream at the top of my lungs.
“Say it again!” Chase demands, his voice raw and urgent. My body gives out as he thrusts his cock deeper, trying to penetrate to my core.
“Chase fuck me harder!” He makes me so hot, bringing me to the brink with orgasm after orgasm. My body seizures, unable to control myself. My head is tilted back, my face towards the ceiling. My mouth is wide open, dry, stealing any and every short breath I can, suffocating from the way he’s pleasuring me.
“Fuck!” he groans. He comes hard, his cock pulsating and jerking inside my pussy. I wish he would come inside of me. I want to feel all of him.
“I’m not done,” he says pumping harder, sucking on air.
I come again from his grinding thrusts. I come so hard that my eyes twitch and tears burn on the edges of my eyelids. His lips fall on top of mine as I scream into his kiss.
“I’m going to come again,” he cries. I absorb his gasp of words into my mouth and I feel his cock stiffen in my pussy. I turn carnal, raging. He makes me want to do something I’ve never done before. He makes me want to be so bad.