“My name is Carrie, Rose.
That’s what I want you to call me.”
Rose was speechless.
She looked to her mama for help.
Sarah regarded Carrie for a long moment.
“You been doin’ some changin’, girl.”
Carrie smiled and nodded.
“You’re right as usual, Sarah.” She lowered her eyes for a moment. “My mother’s death knocked the life out of me for a while, but I’m going to be okay now.” She didn’t know how to explain that hearing Rose’s scream had torn her out of her pity and moved her back into living.
“Your
mama be in a better place, Miss Carrie.”
Carrie smiled as Sarah put a warm hand on her shoulder.
“I know that, Sarah. I know she’s with God. It’s just going to take a while to get used to living without her.” She took a deep breath and looked at Rose. “Rose, it’s been so long since we’ve really talked. I’ve been lost in a world of my own. I have a feeling I’m very out of touch with your life.”
Rose smiled gently.
“You’ve had a lot to distract you, Miss Carrie. You had your mama to take care of for all those long months, and then your father took her place.”
Carrie frowned.
“I’m worried about my father. It’s as if there is no life left in him.”
Sarah reached forward again to take her hand.
“Your mama
was
your father’s life. It will take him time to make a new one.”
Carrie nodded.
“I don’t think I ever realized how much they loved each other. Mama and I were so different...”
“Your daddy have a big heart, Miss Carrie.
He had plenty of love to give the two women in his life. Your daddy gonna be alright. It takes time for the aching to make room for livin’ again.”
Carrie fixed her eyes on Sarah as she talked, but she didn’t miss the tender look Rose shared with Moses.
She nodded her head and turned back to Rose. “I have a feeling there is some love being shared in
here
,” she said with a smile.
Rose returned her smile.
“Moses and I plan on being married next month. If that’s alright with you,” she hastened to add. “There hasn’t been a chance to talk with you until now.”
Carrie turned to stare at Moses and liked what she saw
—the strong face and steady eyes that returned her gaze evenly. She’d had no opportunity to get to know him since her father had bought him, but the soft look in Rose’s eyes when she looked at him, told her he was special. “Of course. I’m happy for both of you,” she said warmly.
“I never did get a chance to thank you for saving me from the whip when I was out in the field,” Moses said.
Carrie frowned. “It never should have happened. I’m sorry.” She looked down and then back up. “Nothing like that will ever happen again. I want to know if Ike Adams ever steps foot on this property again. While my father is gone, I’m in charge of the plantation.” She tried to cover her troubled voice with a smile.
“When your daddy be comin’ back?” Sarah asked gently.
Carrie shook her head and frowned deeper. “I have no idea.” She turned to look at Sarah. “He may never come back, Miss Sarah. There is so much hurt for him here. I found out just before he left that he bought a house in Richmond the last time we were there.” Her voice trailed off. “I don’t know if he’ll ever be able to come back and face the memories,” she whispered.
Sarah gazed at her sympathetically.
“You can’t be runnin’ Cromwell Plantation on your own, Miss Carrie. ‘Specially without an overseer. There be too much here for any one person—‘specially a young girl like you.”
Carrie knew she was right but she shook her head stubbornly.
“I won’t hire another overseer,” she declared. A wild idea popped in her head and she fixed Moses with a steady gaze. Moses met her gaze, not flinching. The room was silent as her wild idea took shape and substance, and was then accompanied by the quiet voice she had learned to listen to in the clearing. “Moses, I’d like you to be my overseer.” The whole room radiated with a shocked silence.
Moses’
s eyes grew wide.
Carrie smiled as her assurance grew.
She nodded firmly and turned to Sarah. “You said a few minutes ago that I had done some changing. I think I need to tell all of you what has been going on.” She paused as she gathered her thoughts. “Ever since the beginning of spring, I’ve been struggling with slavery. Everything I had ever learned was colliding with what I was seeing myself. I tried to push it away, but everywhere I turned it kept coming back.” Briefly, she told them about the slave auction. “It made me sick. Suddenly I realized a whole system was treating other human beings like animals.” The three in the room just watched and listened. “My beliefs were challenged even more when I went to Philadelphia. I met a remarkable woman who didn’t condemn me for where I was, but simply gave me the opportunities to look at it deeper.” She paused again as she remembered. “Then I ended up at an abolitionists’ meeting. That’s where I heard Harriet Masters speak.”
Rose gasped as she heard her friend’s name.
“From Blackwell?” she whispered.
Carrie nodded.
“The slave hunters almost caught her again, but I managed to stall them.”
“That was you?” Rose exclaimed.
She shook her head and stared wide-eyed at her friend. “I heard through the grapevine that someone had saved her.”
Carrie nodded.
“I still didn’t know entirely where I stood on the whole issue of slavery. I just knew I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t help Harriet stay free.” Once again, Harriet’s shining face as she spoke of being free rose in her mind. “She was so happy to be free!”
Sarah said nothing, but reached over and took
Carrie’s hand.
Carrie smiled at her and plunged ahead.
“When I got home from Philadelphia, I could think of nothing but mama and her being sick. Until I went to my place...” Tears filled her eyes as she relived the experience. “I was determined to find answers. I had listened to so many voices—loud voices—that proclaimed the reasons black people were supposed to be slaves; and equally loud voices that said it was a horrible sin for
anyone
to be in slavery, and condemned all slave holders. The voices were pounding in my head, all demanding that I believe them.” She shook her head and looked down. After several long moments, she raised shining eyes. “Then I heard God! He told me, ’My voice is the only one that counts. The only way to know truth is to know my heart.’” She shook her head. “I was there for a long time. It was like God took me into a little bubble and showed me the world from his view. I saw him cry when that family was wrenched apart at the auction. I saw him weep when abolitionists I had met lashed out with hate. I saw him smile when slaves reached freedom in Canada. It’s really so simple,” she mused. “The Bible says it all in one sentence.
Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”
Sarah nodded.
“Simple, but it ain’t always easy.”
“I found that out!
Why, I’ve known that Bible verse all my life, but I had also been taught slavery was right. It’s so easy for people to twist things around to fit what they want to believe.” She paused, wanting the three in the room to understand her. “The people who say slavery is right say that all people aren’t created equal. They say some people will never achieve as much as others—that they were never designed to. They say black people can’t learn and are inferior to white people.” She smiled as she looked at Rose. “I know that’s not true. You never let on, but I knew you learned how to read before I did.”
Rose smiled, but said nothing.
She was obviously trying to take it all in.
“Anyway, I asked God about that.”
“And what did God say, Miss Carrie?” Sarah asked.
Carrie answered slowly.
“He told me that all people carry a seed of greatness in them. Not everyone will choose to let it grow, but it’s not my place to determine who those people are. All I need to do is love everyone and give them all an equal chance to be who God created them to be. So many people are never given the chance.” She paused. “God cries over that.” Her voice strengthened as she looked around the room. “I believe slavery is wrong,” she stated firmly. “I don’t believe God ever meant for people to own each other and steal their ability to be all they were created to be.” She struggled to express herself. “The South is my home. My love for it has not diminished, but I must play a part in getting rid of slavery. I have no idea how—”
Sarah broke in again.
“God don’t never let a desire to do good go unused. When it’s time, He’ll show you what you is to do.”
Carrie frowned.
“I wish I could give all of you your freedom. Unfortunately, only my father can do that. But I
can
help you reach freedom.” Suddenly it wasn’t important for Moses to be the overseer. A bigger picture was taking shape in her mind. Her voice grew excited as she looked at Moses and Rose. “I know people in the Underground Railroad. I can contact them!”
Rose laughed softly in disbelief.
“You know people in the Underground Railroad, Miss Carrie?”
Carrie nodded impatiently.
“Of course!” Her mind was racing. “I’ll write Aunt Abby. She’ll tell me the best way to do it.” She figured rapidly in her mind. “Why, you can probably be free before you get married!”
“We won’t be needing the Underground Railroad, Miss Carrie,” Moses stated firmly.
“What?” Something in Moses’s voice caught Carrie’s attention and she turned to stare at him.
“I said we won’t be needing the Underground Railroad.
We had our chance to go free. We chose to stay here.”
Now it was Carrie’s turn to be speechless.
Sarah answered her unspoken questions.
“Rose won’t leave me, and Moses won’t leave Rose. I told them to go...” She shrugged. “I may be a slave, but I’m free inside. I’m too old to be startin’ over. The Lord done told me I’m to stay right here for now. I aim to do what he says.”
Carrie watched as Moses and Rose exchanged deep, contented looks.
She was trying to put the pieces together. “Miles and the other slaves...?”
Rose met her gaze and nodded.
“Moses and I helped them escape. The Underground Railroad has already been here.”
“I prayed they wouldn’t be caught,” Carrie murmured.
“Have you heard from them?”
Rose shook her head.
“No. Jamison said he would contact us when he could, but Adams came back without them. That’s a good sign.”
“Jamison?” Carrie asked.
“The man who was here for dinner?” Rose gasped, then breathed a sigh of relief, when Carrie laughed loudly. “I knew I liked that man!”
Sarah was the one to introduce realism into the room.
“Miss Carrie, how you aimin’ to run this plantation feelin’ the way you do? Don’t you know you be setting yourself up against a lot of people, including your daddy? You’re lettin’ yourself in for a passel of hurt, gal.”
Carrie nodded.
“I know, Sarah. But it would hurt worse to live a lie. If my actions don’t follow my beliefs, they aren’t worth much. I’m just going to have to cross all those bridges when I get to them.” She paused as the matter of the plantation rose to the front of her mind. “Moses...?”
“Someday
—I believe someday soon—we will all be free. But for now we have a job to do. I’ll help you do that job the best I can,” Moses said firmly. “You’re a good woman, Miss Carrie.”
Rose looked at him proudly.
“He’s a leader, Miss Carrie. The other slaves already respect him. He will be a good overseer.”
Carrie nodded, her brain working rapidly.
“I won’t tell my father about Ike Adams. He left me in charge. In charge I am going to be.” She turned to Moses. “I want you to let me know anytime the slaves need something. Things are going to be different around here. I may not be able to set them free, but I can make their lives different. And, if any of them want to escape,” she continued firmly, “I will not stand in their way. They are free to go.”
Moses nodded slowly.
“Some will choose to go, Miss Carrie. But many will choose to stay for now. They love you. With Adams gone...” His face tightened with anger as he thought of the overseer.
Rose reached out and touched his hand gently.
“I’m alright, Moses. The cut will heal.”
Carrie knew in her heart that things weren’t over with Adams.
He was an evil man and his pride had been battered.
Sarah spoke thoughtfully.
“You ain’t got to worry ‘bout all the slaves runnin’ away, Miss Carrie. Lots of them don’t care too much ‘bout being free. They ain’t never been nothin’ but slaves. When you don’t know nothin’ else, where you are can look pretty good. ‘Specially with Adams gone. They’s people with a seed of greatness, but there ain’t nobody ever done nothin’ but try to stamp out that seed. It’ll take a while before they believe it themselves.”
Moses spoke calmly.
“We may have to scale back some, Miss Carrie, but we can make it work. We’re going into winter—the slow time of the year. We won’t have to worry about crops until next year.”