Stranger in my Arms (12 page)

“No, I'm not.”

“But why, Gray? I remember you telling me that you'd die a slow death if you had to sit behind a desk.”

Merrick stared at the water spilling into the pool. “I'm dying a slow death living in Bolivar. I can go weeks without seeing or talking to another human being. I hadn't realized it, but you saved my life a second time when you asked me to protect Jolene, because I was on a fast track to self-destruction.”

Looping one denim-covered leg over the opposite knee, Michael nodded slowly. “Can the church say amen?”

Merrick smiled and said, “Amen.”

“To be truthful, Gray, you looked like the walking dead.”

“Damn. Was I that bad?”

Michael smiled and said, “Hell, yeah.” He sobered quickly. “Do you think you'll be able to adjust to not being in the field?”

“I don't have a choice. I gave the Corps ten years and the Company four, so my options are limited.”

“They're not as limited as you think. You took advantage of your stint in the Corps to advance your education, and with your intelligence and Scout Sniper School training I could recommend you for a position at Leesburg Military.”

Vertical lines appeared between Merrick's eyes. “Why the hard sell, Kirk?”

“I've been where you are now,” Michael said. “I was mad as hell when I was transferred from intelligence to desk duty at the Pentagon, but during the four years, I used the transfer to my advantage when I went to law school. And when General Harry Cooper became more aggressive with his sexual advances, I knew I had to get out or forfeit my freedom for killing that little toad.

“I hated giving up my military career because it was all I knew. Twelve years of military school, West Point and then military intelligence. I'd hoped to become a lifer, but after I fell in love with Jolene I never regretted my decision to become a civilian. I teach courses I know and love, and the bonus is that I get to come home every night to my beautiful wife.”

“What aren't you telling me?” Merrick asked, his expression a mask of stone.

Michael leaned closer. “If you have someone—a woman—then you can't think only of yourself, because even if you're not married to her you're still a couple.”

“Come on, Michael. Spill it!”

“Even though you're going back it won't be as a civilian. You were trained as an operative, and you'll always be an operative.”

Merrick's frown deepened. “You're talking in circles, friend.”

Michael wanted to tell Merrick that the CIA would take him back if he had one arm and one leg because of his superior intelligence, an intelligence Merrick took for granted.

“Don't be surprised if you're called to sit in on a few Black Op meetings. Although you won't become an active participant, just being privy to what's going on in the strategy room will put you and your lady at risk.”

“Are you trying to discourage me?”

“No, Gray. I just want you to know what you may have to face.”

“I'll take your warning under advisement. I'll let…” Merrick's words trailed off when his cell phone rang. “Excuse me,” he said to Michael as he reached for his jacket and the phone in the breast pocket. Alex's number came up on the display. Pressing a button, he put the tiny instrument to his ear. “Please hold on.”

Michael noticed Merrick's expression softening as a gentle smile spread over his face. “I'm going to get something to drink,” he announced, excusing himself.

Waiting until he was alone, Merrick said, “Hey, baby. How are you?”

“I'd be a whole lot better if I could see my boyfriend.”

“Where are you?”

“I'm back in Mexico City.”

“How would you like company this weekend?”

Her husky laugh came through the earpiece. “I was just going to ask you the same thing. Merrick?” she asked when he didn't respond.

“Yes, baby.”

“I've made arrangements to come to the States. I'm flying into IAD.”

“I'll meet you.”

“No, Merrick. I've arranged for a driver to take me to Bolivar.”

“When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow morning.”

“What time are you scheduled to touch down?”

“I was told around ten in the morning. I don't have to be back for a week.”

Merrick could not stop the smile spreading across his face. “That's good. Ali?”

“What is it, Merrick?”

“I love you.”

There came a swollen silence. “And I love you, too. Please hang up, Merrick, before I start bawling.”

“I love you, I love you, I love you, Alexandra,” he whispered, then disconnected the call.

For a brief second, the time it took to blink his eye, Merrick wanted what Michael had—marriage and impending fatherhood. The moment of madness passed when he remembered who he was and Alex's declaration that she wasn't ready for marriage and children.

He'd existed in a state of suspended animation for two years, and then without warning Michael had come to his sanctuary to ask for his help. Leaving Bolivar and what had become his beloved woods and mountains forced Merrick to step outside himself to see how self-destructive he'd become.

He went for long walks, slept no more than three hours at a time, stopped cutting his hair and had grown a beard. He'd lost more than thirty pounds because there were days when one blended into the next and he couldn't remember when last he'd eaten.

Despite Michael's misgivings, he would go back to the CIA, rent an apartment in D.C., see Alex whenever possible and return to Bolivar to unwind on weekends.

A
lex stared out the window as her driver slowed down to less than ten miles an hour around the winding road. Biting down on her lower lip, she closed her eyes as the flutters in her belly increased, silently cursing Merrick for living in the middle of nowhere.

She'd berated herself over and over when she called Merrick to tell him that she was coming to visit him. She was going to spend the equivalent of an American spring break with a man who'd gotten under her skin like an annoying itch. She, Alexandra Cole, who'd earned a reputation of dating a different man every night, had found herself ensnared in a sensual trap from which there was no escape—and it wasn't that she wanted to escape.

There was still something about Merrick that frightened her and kept her off balance, yet it wasn't enough to stop her wanting to be with him. She'd also attempted to rationalize why she'd fallen in love with the enigmatic man, and wasn't able to come up with a plausible explanation except that Merrick Grayslake allowed Alexandra Cole to be Alexandra. Not once during the three hours they'd spent at the club in the Zona Rosa had he exhibited a modicum of jealousy when she'd danced with the other men, or attempted to flaunt his machismo with a display of control or ownership.

They'd started out as friends, and now were lovers. Neither of them wanted to get married, which meant their relationship would be smooth and undemanding.

Alex opened her eyes and exhaled an audible sigh. She didn't think she would ever get used to the dangerous curving stretch of roadway. A hint of a smile softened her mouth when the driver maneuvered onto the unpaved road that led to her lover's house. Her smile widened when she saw him standing on the porch in a pair of jeans and a pullover sweater, waiting for her.

Merrick was off the porch and opening the rear door to the town car within seconds of the driver shifting into Park, leaving the man with the task of removing Alex's luggage from the trunk.

He scooped her off the leather seat and cradled her to his chest.
“Estas tarde,”
he whispered. He'd expected her three hours before.

“La salida de Ciudad México estuvo demorada.”
Alex glared at him through her lashes. Her flight from Mexico City had been delayed several hours. “The important thing is that I'm here.” Her explanation, though spoken softly, held a slight edge.

“I'm not keeping tabs on you, Ali. It's just that I thought something had happened to you.” Bending slightly, he set her on her feet, one arm going around her waist. Reaching into the pocket of his jeans, he removed a large bill and pressed it into the driver's palm. “Thank you for keeping her safe.”

The driver's head bobbed up and down like a buoy in a storm. “Thank you, sir.” He nodded to Alex as if she were royalty. “Goodbye, miss.”

She offered him her dimpled smile. “Goodbye.” She stood with Merrick, watching the driver get into his car. They were in the same spot when the taillights disappeared from view. “I'd paid him, Merrick.”

Pulling her closer, Merrick pressed a kiss on the top of Alex's hair. The last time he saw her, her short hair had afforded her a punk look. But now it was long enough to curl at the ends. The Mexican sun had darkened her face to an even nut-brown shade that fired the gold in her beautiful eyes.

“That's all right, baby.”

Tilting her chin, Alex met his steady gaze. “I don't want you to throw your money away.”

His expression changed, hardening, until his eyes glowed like flints of steel. “Do you think I can't afford to date you?”

Her delicate jaw dropped. “No, Merrick, it's not—”

“It's not what, Alexandra Cole? I wasn't a trust-fund baby, but I can assure you that I'm not a pauper either. So, if you think I'm going to pimp you, I suggest you call your driver and tell him—better yet, I'll drive you back to Arlington.”

She stomped her booted foot. “Stop it, Merrick!”

“Stop what, Alexandra?”

Alex went completely still, her heart pounding painfully under her breasts. She'd flown back to the States to see Merrick when normally she would've gone to Florida to reconnect with her family.

“Stop putting words in my mouth,” she countered slowly. “If I'd thought you were after my money, I never would have given you my number.”

“Why did you give me your number?”

A rush of heat swept over her face, moving lower until she felt as if she were on fire. “Why are you asking me this now? Why not before we slept together?”

His hands came up and he held her shoulders in a firm grip. “I need to know how committed you are to our relationship.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Are you afraid that I'm going to cheat on you with another man?”

Merrick shook his head. “Fidelity is not even remotely a concern.”

“Then don't you dare question my feelings for you. Not when I've just spent thousands of dollars and flown thousands of miles to make my first booty call.”

Merrick merely stared, complete surprise on his face, tongue-tied. “Is that what I am to you?” he asked, recovering his voice. “You see me as a booty call?”

“Huh-uh,” Alex said flippantly. “Come inside and I'll prove it.”

Pulling her close and lowering his head, Merrick captured her mouth in a burning kiss that buckled her knees. She sagged weakly against his body, shivers of desire and delight racking her limbs. The sensual assault on her mouth ended as quickly as it'd begun.

“We'll continue this after we come back, and then you'll see if I'm worth the money you spent for your so-called
booty call.
”

Alex smiled, grabbing his hips. “You don't mind being a booty call?”

He chuckled. “I don't mind being
your
booty call.”

Standing on tiptoe, she brushed a kiss over his mouth. She squeezed his firm buttocks. “I hereby stake my claim to this.”

Merrick released her shoulders, his hand moving lower to cover her breasts over a soft wool sweater. Alex wasn't given time to react when one hand cupped the area between her legs. “And I stake my claim to these,” he whispered and was hard-pressed not to laugh when an expression of pure shock froze Alex's delicate features. He leaned in closer. “Play with fire and you'll get burned, beautiful,” he taunted.

A slow smile found its way across her face. “You're a bad, bad boy, Merrick Grayslake.”

He lifted his eyebrows. “You think? You have no idea how very bad I can be.”

“Bad boy, bad boy, what you gonna do? What you gonna do when
I
come for you?” she sang melodiously.

“Hey, you sound pretty good,” he said, complimenting Alex on her singing. “You sing, dance and play the piano. What other gifts are you hiding from me?”

“That's it,” she said, lifting her shoulders in a perfect Gallic shrug. “I sing and play the piano because I took lessons. You already know about my dance lessons.”

Cradling her to his chest, Merrick rocked her back and forth. “What do you say we throw a party tonight?”

Alex stared up at him staring down at her. “What kind of party?”

“It will be private with just the two of us. We can begin with a wonderful dinner with drinks, then put on some mood music and dance for a while. And if we're not too tired we can retire to the bedroom where I'll show you just how much I've come to love you.”

Her lids came down, hiding her innermost feelings from Merrick. Never in her wildest dreams did she think she would experience the peace and joy she felt at that moment. Merrick had become the answer to her dream of finding the perfect man. Under his steely stare, impassive expression and deep controlled voice he'd shown her another side of himself whenever he made love to her with a wild abandon that made her forget every man she'd ever known, a lovemaking that made her forget who she was when she discovered an ecstasy that took her to heights of passion she hadn't thought possible.

She'd chartered a private jet and car service to come to Bolivar, West Virginia, because not only did she love Merrick but she'd also missed his lovemaking.

Her eyelids fluttered as she struggled to bring her fragile emotions under control. Wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her cheek on his chest, she inhaled the familiar scent of his cologne that was the perfect complement to his body's natural fragrance.

“You don't ever have to tell me that you love me,
querido,
because I feel your love even when we're thousands of miles apart. Your face is the last thing I see when I close my eyes at night, and when I wake up it is you that I think about. I take your image with me when I go to class and I don't think I would've survived the two weeks in the Yucatán with lodgings that were so primitive that once I returned to Mexico City I checked into an upscale hotel for two days, languishing in a Jacuzzi and ordering room service.”

Merrick pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“Pobrecita, eso es porque tu er es una chica rica maleriada.”

“That's where you're wrong. My parents never spoiled me, but I'll never take running water and indoor plumbing for granted ever again.”

He wanted to tell Alex that she
was
spoiled. He'd lost count of the number of times when he was denied a bath and food because he wouldn't do something his foster parents had ordered him to do. The physical and emotional abuse he'd encountered as a child gave him the strength he needed to survive the rigorous training to become a marine who remained in a constant state of readiness for all types of combat situations.

“I didn't know what you wanted to eat, so I decided to wait until you got here to go to the supermarket.”

Pulling back, Alex smiled at Merrick. “Let's go, because I'm starved.”

“Didn't you eat on the plane?”

“No. I had a couple of cups of coffee, but that's all.”

Reaching for her hand, Merrick held it firmly as he bent and picked up her single piece of luggage. “I'll fix something for you before we leave.”

Alex pulled back. “I can pick up something at a fast-food restaurant.”

“Not today, beautiful. We'll save the calories and fat-laden preservatives and additives for another day.”

She gave him a sidelong glance. “Don't tell me you're monitoring your figure,” she teased.

“What I'm monitoring is my heart and arteries.” Merrick knew he was going to have to take a physical even for a desk position, and he didn't want anything to compromise his passing.

Alex walked up the porch steps and followed Merrick into the house where she'd spent a wonderful four days. Nothing had changed as she felt an invisible warmth envelop her with a sense of homecoming.

Merrick closed the door to keep the cool mountain air out of the house, and when she turned to face him she saw it. Her eyes widened. “What's that?”

Merrick saw the direction of her stunned gaze. A high-powered rifle was propped up against a wall next to the front door. “It's a rifle.”

“I know it's a rifle, Merrick. But why is it there?”

“It's for bears.”

“What about bears?” she asked.

“It's spring and the bears are out with their new cubs looking for food.”

“Are you going to shoot them?”

“No, Ali. It's more to scare them.”

“What if you don't scare them?”

Merrick captured Alex's anxious gaze with his. “Then there'll be one less bear around these parts.”

Alex wrapped her arms around her body in a protective gesture. She knew there was something dangerous about Merrick, and seeing the rifle had just confirmed her suspicions. “Let's hope you won't have to kill one.”

His expression softened as he smiled. “I've lived here for two years and I've never had to shoot another living creature. And that includes the deer who feed on the brushes behind the house. Some of them are so used to humans that they don't even run when they see you.”

“Promise me you won't shoot Bambi or Smokey.”

Turning his head, Merrick successfully hid a smile. There was no doubt his girlfriend had a soft spot for animals. “I can't promise that, Ali, especially if a four-hundred-pound bear is standing on my porch looking for food. I can always shoot to wound, but a wounded bear is more dangerous than one who isn't. Stay out of this, darling, and please don't ask me to do something that would put our lives at risk.”

The familiar mask had descended again and Alex felt the closeness between her and Merrick dissipate like a drop of water on a heated surface. It was one thing to be separated from Merrick by more than a thousand miles, and another completely when they stood less than a foot apart, yet there was a chasm because of a disagreement.

“Okay,” she conceded reluctantly. “I'll stay out of it.”