Suddenly, a rabbit bolted from the ground by his thigh.
Apion started and then chuckled as its tail bobbed frantically in flight. ‘Lucky for you I have a full belly and have left my bow at home.’ He stood, then noticed the hole where the rabbit had darted from, under the boulder cairn. He pulled at a boulder near the base and saw it was not a rabbit warren but a bigger hole, and something white inside caught his eye. Curiosity piqued; he lifted away the surrounding boulders and gawped at the small cave it revealed underneath. He slithered through the opening. He could only stand with his neck bent but it was a cosy little space. Then he noticed the pure-white animal bones on the remains of a makeshift hearth. Long disused, probably some traveller’s temporary shelter from long ago.
The fun I could have had with a den like this, and I must have rode past it every day
, he mused.
He shook his head and climbed from the opening, then sat again to take a swig of his water skin. He saw the shadow of an eagle trace the grass and glanced up, but the sky was a brilliant, unbroken blue. Yet as he looked, three black eagle feathers floated from the glare of the sun, and he reached up to catch them. His skin rippled as he examined the feathers; they would make a plumage for his helmet, he smiled. Fighting for the empire had evoked a new sense of being in him. Perhaps when he had his vengeance, he might remain in the armies of the empire. He let his gaze wander through the trees, off to the eastern horizon.
Then he realised he was not alone. The silver-haired lady with the milky eyes was sat beside him. She too gazed east. Apion felt at ease despite her sudden appearance, and their last conversation seemed like only days ago when it had in fact been some six years previous.
‘I know now that you speak only the truth,’ he said to her. ‘I had a choice, just as you said I would. But what is a choice to a man when he knows he will only be able to live with himself if he takes one particular path. That path for me has meant pain and hardship in every minute of my life with the army.’
She nodded at this. ‘That you have understood heartens me. So what will you do now you know where your life is headed?’
Apion frowned. ‘But I don’t know where the rest of my life is headed, not yet. After I have had my revenge, I am still unsure of what I will do next.’
Her face fell at this. ‘Oh, Apion, I wish it were only a few years of pain you were to endure. Don’t you remember what I told you?
When the falcon has flown, the mountain lion will charge from the east, and all Byzantium will quake. Only one man can save the empire . . . ’
‘ . . . the
Haga
,’ Apion finished her sentence, gazing at his stigma with a frown. ‘But
how? What does it truly mean?’
She shook her head. ‘It means what it means, and I have learned that nothing can change the truth of it. You know this too.’
He clutched at the three eagle feathers again and examined their structure, then glanced east, a tear gathering in his eye. ‘I will never come home from the ranks, will I? Tell me, old lady,’ he spoke, closing his eyes, touching his prayer rope, ‘what part does God play in all of this?’
She did not respond.
‘Who are you talking to?’ A voice called out.
Apion jolted, turning to see Maria. The old lady was gone.
‘Lots of old memories, eh?’ Maria shrugged nervously.
Apion looked down at the grass. A long silence ensued.
Finally, Maria spoke. ‘What happened before you left for the thema, Apion, with Nasir; I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for that. I didn’t want to hurt you.’ She eyed his new frame, ‘You know that what happened had nothing to do with your old limp, don’t you?’
Apion snorted. ‘Eh? I left to find glory, Maria. I’m an officer now.’ He hated himself for those words. ‘I’d forgotten about this place and us,’ he lied. ‘There are so many women that loiter around the barracks and the inns that it all merges together.’ The words were tumbling out despite his heart screaming at him to stop.
She nodded, eyes fixed on the grass underfoot, then she sat next to him without replying. Together, they picked the grass in the still heat and time passed, morning becoming midday. Then the sky slowly greyed with clouds that darkened and then the air grew muggy. The first rumble of thunder split the air, then thick blobs of rain showered down around them.
‘Come on,’ he grabbed Maria’s hand, pulling her towards the cave under the cairn as the rain turned sheet-like. They scrambled into the cave and shivered, shaking the water from their bodies.
‘What is this place?’ Maria asked as Apion kindled a fire from the brushwood that had collected in the space.
‘Shelter!’ He chuckled as the fire sparked to life. He saw sadness in her eyes and fixed his gaze on her. ‘I know you didn’t want to hurt me Maria, but you did. You are like family to me and I felt betrayed, yet that was not why I left for the thema
.
’
‘I’ll always be here for you, Apion,’ she rested a hand on his and her gaze locked on his eyes.
‘And I will always protect you, Maria. I love you,’ the words seemed to numb his lips.
She did not reply. He leaned across and kissed her, her lips tasted salty. He ran his hands over her hips and pulled her close. She put her arms around him loosely. His fires ignited, Apion laid her on the bracken-coated cave floor.
‘Apion,’ she started.
He hesitated, his tunic halfway off. ‘Yes?’
Her eyes seemed to glass over a little, then she looked away and loosened her robe. ‘Nothing.’
They made love. It was slow and gentle and Apion’s mind flitted with all of the fantasies he had had of this moment. His love for her was being fulfilled at last. But something didn’t feel quite right. That hunger she had shown the last time just wasn’t there. He climaxed and for that moment his mind was free of troubles. Blissful and fleeting. Then he lay down next to her and took her hand in his.
Some time later, the storm still raged. Apion sat up and opened his satchel, breaking a loaf of bread and a round of cheese and offering half of each to Maria. They munched quietly and washed the meal down with water.
He turned to her. ‘I don’t want to be without you again, Maria.’
‘But you’re in the thema, Apion!’ She shook her head. ‘You will be gone from here in days!’
He thought of the few words of the silver-haired lady and of his own realisation.
I will never come home from the ranks, will I?
At this he frowned and shook his head firmly. ‘No, I’ll be in barracks and on campaign for some time to come, but a day will come, soon, when I will return here, to live and to farm. I don’t want to be lost to you again.’
‘Apion,’ her brow furrowed
‘I want to look after you. I want you to be my . . .’
‘I’m betrothed to Nasir.’ Her words were spoken shrilly and they hung in the air.
Apion’s heart iced over and a chill ripple of realisation crept over his chest.
‘I’m sorry, Apion, I tried to tell you,’ she started.
‘Tell me this is a joke, Maria, please!’ His words were faint.
‘I love you, Apion, but I also love Nasir. Can you understand how hard that is?’
No!
His mind screamed, he could not understand. He loved Maria and only Maria and how could she feel any differently about him? She looked at him, eyes moist but resigned.
His arms fell limp by his side. ‘Then I should not have come back here.’
‘Apion, don’t be so foolish. Remember, we’re here for each other?’
Her pleading eyes stabbed at his heart. He looked away and stooped to lift her from the cave. ‘The storm is abating. Come, we should go back to the farm.’
Outside, the land still shimmered from the storm and light-grey clouds scudded across the sky. They walked side by side but Apion felt utterly cold and alone. He could see her wiping tears from her cheeks in his peripheral vision and wanted so much to dry her eyes for her. He searched for some words, something that could make this better, when a whinny broke the silence.
‘Komes?’
Apion spun around. A drenched imperial messenger held his mount’s reins tightly, the beast frothing and sweating. ‘Yes?’
‘The strategos has sent for you personally. He wants all of his officers in Argyroupolis by dusk.’
‘What’s happening, rider?’
‘Tugrul is advancing, he has destroyed the army of the Colonea Thema utterly and completely, and now he moves for Chaldia as we speak.’
Apion felt the iron veneer crawl over his skin. His sorrow brewed into a black anger.
Leave was over.
War and vengeance beckoned.
***
The wagon rumbled far more hastily through the valleys on the return journey and the land was gloomy and grey like his thoughts. Mansur had not returned before the wagon had called to pick him up; he had planned to tell the old man of Bracchus’ threat so that some form of protection could be arranged. Then there was something else. Not just the news of Nasir and Maria. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he felt sure there was something else the old man had wanted to talk about. Then again, he mused, it had seemed that way since they had first met back in the filthy drinking hole in Trebizond all those years ago.
He looked up: the soldiers sat across from him in the wagon bore equally disgruntled and anxious looks, each torn from their loved ones after only a few days of their promised week of leave.
‘Take heart,’ he encouraged them, ‘we travel to fight with the strategos. With his leadership, victory is ours for the taking and soon enough we will be back with our families.’
The wagon rumbled on for some time, then slowed in the muddy slop by the roadside. ‘Stopping for a piss-break!’ The driver bawled.
The soldiers dropped out to empty their bladders but Apion simply stretched his legs, gazing along the south-eastern track. As he did so, he noticed a lone rider trotting towards them, coming north-west. The rider grew clearer as he approached. Wearing mail armour and with a pointed Seljuk rider’s helmet hanging from his saddle; he had dark skin, broad shoulders and a swinging pony tail. Apion knew it was Nasir before he saw the rider’s grey eyes.
The rest of the garrison soldiers bristled, some touching their hands to their swords.
‘Easy,’ Apion called. ‘He is a good man and rides in peace.’ Then he turned back to Nasir.
Nasir gawped for a moment, then burst into a wide grin, sliding from his horse, arms extended. ‘Apion!’ He wrapped his arms around Apion in a bear hug, then grasped his shoulders to behold him. ‘You . . . you are so different?’ He stammered, noticing Apion’s height, build and balance, ‘and what do you call this,’ he laughed, pulling at his beard.
Apion shook his chin free of the grasp with a snarl, then felt ashamed as his friend flinched, suddenly wary. ‘I’m sorry,’ he sighed, ‘it’s just this damned wagon-ride, and that my leave is over.’
Nasir smiled warily. ‘The clouds have pissed on me all the way from Edessa, but I can’t stop smiling because I’m headed in the right direction!’
Then Apion remembered Mansur’s news and felt further shame. ‘I heard about Giyath. I’m so sorry.’
Nasir’s face fell stony. ‘He died a hero. That’s all he ever wanted.’
‘I hope that softens the grief for you and Kutalmish.’ Apion saw the pain in Nasir’s eyes and left it at that. Then he braced himself. ‘But I believe there is good news too,’ he started, feigning a smile, ‘congratulations are in order?’
Nasir’s face lit up again. ‘We are to wed at the end of the summer!’
Apion clasped his friend’s forearm, then embraced him to disguise the reddening of his eyes.
‘Will you come to the ceremony, if you can? You have to be there. Without Giyath, you are the closest thing I have to a brother.’
Apion’s heart softened at the tender words. ‘Of course I will be there. Just make sure you get word to me before the day?’
Nasir nodded.
Apion thought of the war that was to come and wondered what might happen before then. ‘You know what is coming, don’t you?’