Stricken Desire (15 page)

“Yeah. But D we talked about this last night
though. We didn’t want J there. Sorry J… But you know how it is. We
have a fuck fest and your cock gets most of the attention. I kind
of liked not feeling like I have a serious deficit hanging between
my legs for once.” Price says and punches Johnathan in the
shoulder.

Must be some kind of dude code for dude your
cock is huge and woman like it more than my average one. Or that
how I read it anyhow. Johnathan seems to understand and clasps his
hand on his band mates’ shoulder.

“It’s cool. Bro. I was tired so I hit the
head early last night.” He says. Man he is so lying and it wasn’t
even a good lie. Stacy peers over at me and I stare straight ahead
at the wall behind Price’s head. If I look at him I am afraid he’ll
just know. He can seriously read me like a damn book sometimes.

“I call bullshit bro.” Keith chimes in with a
wicked smile.

“Yeah me too. Total bullshit. We stopped by
your suite at like three this morning and nobody answered the door
and I called your cell a bunch. So either you were fucking some
chick in your room or in theirs. But there was defiantly some
fucking going on. You don’t go days without it and it’s been four
or so for you so I know last night was so your night.” D adds.

Please don’t see the guilt on my face, please
don’t let this give me away. I gaze over at Stacy and he’s staring
straight at me. His hand tightens on my shoulder. Oh, fuck he
knows! He’s putting it together. But if he asks I am still going to
deny it. I’m not fessing up. Water board my ass and I’m still not
letting this out.

“You guys are serious dumb asses you know
that! I go to sleep early knocked the fuck out with my ringer off
and you think I automatically have to be between a woman’s legs?”
Johnathan scoffs his tone ruthless.

“Yep.” Keith comments.

“Dude, we know you. We’ve know your ass for
years. You don’t go four days without a fuck. A tight hot pussy is
what gets you off man. Three, four times a week usually on the
road. Shit I’ve seen you binge like twice a day every day for a few
weeks straight. Three at a time in the back of the bus. I know you
weren’t in there playing checkers.” D adds again with a very dirty
laugh.

Cue the salt. This is so painful my chest is
killing me. I rub my heart and I can see him looking at me out of
the corner of his eye. I feel like death warmed over and I am sure
I don’t look any better. All the color has drained from me and I
suddenly feel ill. Very ill. This is so not the conversation I need
to be listening to right now. I need to leave and go back to the
bus and cry in the shower and take a Tylenol PM and knock the fuck
out for a few weeks. I am so stupid to think he’d meant everything
last night. Even more dumb, thinking if we got together I could
satisfy him. Three at a time. Yeah I can’t do that. I don’t share
and I don’t have a tenth of a percent of experience that those
women probably had. I’ve never even rode a man or done doggy style,
which I hear is amazing. I’ve never touched a cock let along had my
mouth on one. This man is way out of my league on a hundred
different fronts. My hands are starting to sweat, I rub them on my
shorts. If I don’t stop my freak out now I am going to
hyperventilate.

“Listen guys I don’t think I’m that bad. I
know I’ve had my moments but last night I seriously just went to
sleep. I’m glad you dudes got some hot tail. I needed the rest.
I’ve been out of it lately.” He voice is low and calmer. I can see
his eyes on me. I know he can see the pain on my face I can’t hide
it even if I wanted to.

“Dude you are that bad. But that’s cool. We
dig it. We’re all basically the same. Breed from the same cloth the
five of us. I bet you are tired… oh shit I totally forgot about
last week you had those five hot women fuck you senseless. If I
remember correctly you couldn’t walk the next day. I think Stacy
had to carry you into the shower.” D adds. I fucking hate this
man.

I am going to be sick. I need to go I have to
go. I take a bite of the cardboard pizza on my plate and stand and
leave. I have to find James to take me back to the bus. I can’t sit
and hear about this another minute. I run, my heels clicking the
whole way into the room next door searching desperately for
James.

“What are you doing?” Stacy says following
me. I bend over and put my hands on my thighs and breathe in and
out slowly. Oh shit I am hyperventilating. My head feels dizzy and
I think I might faint or throw up or both. This is so wrong! I hate
Johnathan! I should have never fucked his magic cock. So much for
making love. It might have been that way for me but it wasn’t for
him. God I am so damn stupid!

“I. Need. To. Leave.” I heave out between
long breaths.

“Oh, no Em, please don’t do this.” Johnathan
begs, running into the room after me he kneels down in front of me
rubbing his hands on my shoulders.

What the fuck does he think I like feeling
this way? Do I like having salt poured into my veins! NO I DON’T!
He did this to me. He hurt me and I allowed it. I’m such a dumb
bitch!

I heave my chest in and out. I need to calm
the hell down. I can’t, my mind is twirling and swirling and I
can’t see right side up.

“Baby, Oh baby. Please calm down. It’s going
to be okay.” He keeps rubbing. All the while I know Stacy is
standing very close and watching this whole fucking this play out.
I am such a bitch. I know this has to be hurting him.

“Don’t. You. EVER. Call. Me. Baby. Again.” I
huff out slowly between breaths. A chair is brought up to by
backside.

“Sit down Miss. Bronwyn” I hear James say and
I collapse into the chair.

“Thanks” I pant. Sweat is trickling down my
face oh and shit so are tears. I am crying! No! Be strong! Don’t
cry in front of him. You’re letting him win.

Asshole scoots closer and places hands on my
thighs caressing them. I am shaking and crying and I cover my face
with both my hands.

“Did you do this to her?” I hear Stacy
finally chime in, his voice is like acid dipped in acid and fried
in it to make it extra crispy.

I want to scream. YES HE DID! But I’m just as
much to blame. I allowed him in and he hurt me. I stay quiet and my
sobbing worsens.

“Baby, look at me. Emily. Please. I’m so
sorry. Just look at me. I need you. I need you to look at me.” He
begs. In his panty dropping voice. I don’t move.

“Answer me mother fucker did you do this to
her?” Stacy barks loud and ferociously, he’s like a lion protecting
his Nala.

I can feel Johnathan shift in front of my
body angling toward Stacy.

“I didn’t do this to her. No. They did in
there. She doesn’t need to hear this shit about me.” He snaps.

“She already knows that Johnathan why the
fuck would she care anyhow?”

Oh, No! Here is comes. Here comes the truth!
I pray, Please God don’t let Stacy hate me. Please make this pain
go away. Please just please let Stacy stay my best friend. I need
him.

“She cares just like I care Stace. I love her
and I told her that last night.” Johnathan says his voice is even,
giving nothing away.

“WHAT!!?” Stacy screeches it pierces my ears.
“You fucking love her? I’ve loved her my whole goddamn life and she
won’t have me. What makes you fucking think she’d ever consider
having your ass? I’ve never hurt her and never would. You on the
other hand would sell her into sex trafficking if it suited your
needs.” He spit’s, raw and to the point.

“I know she’d have me Stacy because I think
she might feel the say way I do. I’m sorry man. I know you love her
and I understand why. I love her too.” He talks low and nice.
Treading lightly with fragile Stacy.

I sob louder, shaking.

“Did you fuck him last night? Emily Sue
Bronwyn, did you fuck him?” his voice is harsh and it shreds my
heart. This pain is so unreal. I always thought physical pain was
the worst. No this is the worst pain in existence.

I nod.

“OH MY FUCKING GOD! You fucked him! After I
left last night. Son of a bitch.” I can’t see him but I can hear
him pacing and breathing hard. Anger saturates the air.

I rub my eyes free of tears and look for him.
He has his hands on his head tugging his shaggy hair. Pacing in
long strides. Johnathan is kneeling his hands still on my thighs.
Not paying a bit of attention to Stacy his eyes are firmly planted
on me.

“Please don’t hate me Stace.” I muttered
under my breath. He hears me, stops, comes next to my side and
gazes down upon me. Ignoring Johnathan.

“Em, I will never hate you. I love you you’re
my best friend. I don’t like that you fucked this jackass.” He nods
towards Johnathan. “But I’m here babe. You got me for life whether
you want it or not.” He smiles. I exhale hard I didn’t realize I
was holding my breath.

“As for you.” He stares daggers at Johnathan.
“I am ashamed of you Jonathan. I thought you were my friend and I
thought you respected Emily in some way. Or me at least enough not
to talk your way into her panties.” He snarls.

“I didn’t talk my way into her panties. I
think she wanted me there. I wanted to be there Stacy. I don’t want
you to be hurt you, one of my closest friends. But I need her and I
love her. I’m not going to apologize for making love to the woman I
want to spend the rest of my life with. I can’t do that even if you
want.” He says softly and my heart somehow swells and throbs
happily in my chest. The butterflies are back and fluttering at
full speed. The pain is slowly decreasing.

“I call bullshit Johnathan. I’ve worked with
you for four years. Don’t think I don’t know what you do. You claim
to have never felt this way before. You play the love card. You
play the innocence ‘I only want to touch you baby just let me
please you.’ Shit. It works, I know it does. You’re a pro. That’s
why I’m not surprised it worked on the most wonderful woman on the
planet.” He looks at me and there goes my heart again into the vat
of saltwater. Stacy knows the dick wad.

I fucking knew Johnathan played dirty. I knew
he did this. God, why didn’t I listen to my brain and not my pussy?
She’s in so much trouble. Stupid horny bitch. I think I might have
fallen in love with him last night. I know that sounds completely
irrational and when I think it. It sounds like I need a
straitjacket and locked into a white padded cell. But I seriously
feel that way. Now all I can do is mend my broken heart. Pull it
back together and hope it works again in twenty years when I decide
sex and love is okay again.

Johnathan is staring at me horrified. Yep I
checked out again and it wasn’t in his favor. Serves him right.

“It’s not like that this time.” He murmurs
staring at me. His lips are pouty and sad.

“Sure it’s not Johnathan. You do this all the
time. You meet a hot feisty chick on the road and she fires your
engines up for a while. Two, three weeks of heavy fucking and I
love you’s. You swear you’ve never felt the way before and then you
get bored when you realize it’s just one-dimensional. There is no
future. Then you do the super nice thing and buy her a plane ticket
back home, slip her a couple thousand for her troubles and send her
on her brokenhearted way. It’s not like I blame you dude. You were
never loved right as a kid. You can’t know how loving is supposed
to feel like. That’s not your fault. And frankly as long as your
cool and the band is good I don’t mind helping take the woman to
the airport or being a shoulder for them to cry on when you dump
them. But this time is way different. You can’t do this to Emily. I
won’t let you. She is fragile when it comes to love and
relationships and I will NOT allow you to hurt her like you’ve done
to all those other nobodies. She is somebody and my best friend.
This ends today. You say you’re sorry and you promise me and her
both that you will never ever try to fuck her again. No more I love
you’s, no more I can’t be without you. And if I see or hear another
over-the-top primal man protective bullshit come from you. I will
seriously quit. The only thing she needs is distance from you and
support if she ever asks for it. But SHE has to ask for it. You’re
not crawling between her legs again. I better not hear anything
else. DO YOU GET ME? MY FRIEND!”

Wow! Did this just happen? Did my best friend
seriously put the hottest rocker on the planet in his place? I know
he’s just looking out for what’s best for me. So I’m just going to
sit here and shut up. I’d rather not argue anymore and my heart is
shredded. The only person to help me now is Stacy. The best man in
my life.

I look down at Johnathan and his face has
lost all color and he looks lost. I want to pull him into my arms
and tell him it’s going to be alright. Even with a broken heart I
want to help him. I want him to be okay. But I have to let him go.
I can’t let this go on. Stacy is right. If he’s seen Johnathan play
this routine time and time again. I would just be another to add to
the list. Thank god for best friends.

Johnathan turns his head mechanically towards
me. Retracts his hands from my legs, stands up. “I am sorry short….
Emily. I didn’t mean to hurt you or break your heart.” Tears are
filling my eyes again. “Please don’t cry baby. Stacy is right I am
fucked up. You deserve better than me. You need a man who can love
you and give you lots of babies. Who isn’t screwed up in the head.”
He smacks himself in the head. “I can’t hurt you like I’ve hurt
many others.” He turns and walks away.

Now it clicks. The others. Then ten women he
was talking about last night. That must be what he is talking
about. He’s done this with ten other women. That makes sense now.
I’m number eleven or would have been. Shit, I dunno. Maybe I’m in
maybe I’m not. That’s confusing and it doesn’t matter anyhow.

“Yeah I saw the whole thing. J had this hot
blonde with a smoking hot bod, big juicy tits and a pussy to die
for. He was naked. Well his shirt was on but that monster cock of
his was out. I was just hoping that my lady didn’t see it because
she’d be all over that. So… I’m watching him sit on the kitchen
table and this chick is between his legs, playing with herself.
Moaning rather loudly. He’s got his hands in here hair and shit.
She’s got his dick in her mouth and she’s sucking and pumping his
hard with her hand. Really going at it, ya know? When she takes it
out of her mouth coming up to the tip the fucker is seriously
flaccid. I don’t think there was any blood in that cock of his. He
is broken dudes. I mean seriously fucking broken. I don’t know if
it’s his past fucking with his head or what. But I’ve never seen
this man go so long without fucking and he’d never pass a BJ up or
five in a damn night.” D added.