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He sounded tired and looked dejected. Kira tried to steel her heart against the insane
urge to take him in her arms and comfort him.
No, no, no!
He would only use her weakness to exploit her again.

“I do not! I don’t understand how a supposedly upstanding man can continue to treat
me as if I have no feelings and no honor. I’ve given you everything I have to offer.
And you have done nothing but trample upon me.”

To Kira’s horror, she felt the tears start again, hot and stinging in her swollen
eyes. She likely looked a fright, with red-rimmed eyes and a swollen, pink bunny nose.
But she didn’t care.

“I realize that. I never meant—
”

“You did not stop to think about my feelings or my heart or whether taking me to your
bed and allowing me to hope that you cared would hurt me. You simply did it. And I
won’t stay for any
more of it. Since my brother is now arrived from Cornwall, we will retire this afternoon
to our own town house.”

“Do not run away. Your brother told James he planned to move your things to your residence
tomorrow.”

She shrugged. “He may wait, if he wishes. I will not. I shall go by myself.”

Before he could stop himself, Gavin scrambled for a reason to keep her here. “And
stay the night there alone? It may not be safe. And—and what will people think?”

“Since my reputation is beyond repair in your estimation, I hardly give a damn.”

With that, she turned to walk away.

* * * *

Gavin watched Kira retreat, her footsteps nearly silent on the carpet, her narrow
shoulders looking decidedly tense in a blue muslin dress. She thought to leave so
suddenly? Now?

He should let her go. He should. Lord knew he owed her some peace. But he could not
tolerate the thought of her leaving while she hated him.

And once she left, he would have no reason to see her. They did not move in the same
circles. She might even return to Suffolk, a place he had no excuse to journey to.
She might marry another someday. Probably would, in fact. And since he could not marry
her himself, he should hope she found another with whom she could be content.

But he didn’t hope that at all. It was wretched and selfish, but suddenly he could
not seem to stop the sentiment from roiling inside him.

Her stride reached the edge of the patterned
,
jewel-toned rug, and she stepped onto the tile, her shoes making a delicate
click
with each step. Then she lifted a hand toward the latch on the door.

Pain clawed at his chest. Gavin struggled to draw in a calming breath. But damn, he
could not be calm about the prospect of never seeing Kira again.

She inched the door open.

He might hate the way she brought forth the lust he could scarcely control, but an
hour with her was like a
n
hour filled with colors and stars. Everything around her was more vivid, sharper,
sweeter. He felt something besides duty and familial loyalty. With Kira, he felt a
thousand things.

When she left, all of that would be gone.

As would the threat she held on his sanity. With Kira departed, perhaps the taint
of the Daggett blood would recede so he might know the peace he had before she crashed
into his life. If she left, he likely would never have to wonder if the libertine
in him would overtake him forever.

Still, he could not imagine a life with her completely absent from it.

In a half
-
dozen strides, he crossed the room. He reached above Kira’s head, took the solid door
in his hand and pushed it closed before she could exit.

She stiffened and raised her chin, but did not turn to face him.

“Kira, don’t go.” His voice sounded hoarse, almost unrecognizable. He did not care.

“Why should I stay when you can offer me nothing?”

He frowned, his thoughts racing. He could offer her something besides marriage. And
in doing so
,
he could experience the joy of holding her while limiting his exposure to her. Yes.
Perhaps it would prevent his bad blood from forming into an unruly beast, ready to
seize control of him.

“I can offer you something.” He took her shoulders in his hands and spun her about.

She had been crying; he saw that now. His heart lurched. He could care for her. He
could fill her life with caring.

“Stay with me. I may marry Cordelia for duty’s sake, but it’s you I want. I will give
you money and houses. I’ll shower you in trinkets. Perhaps we’ll have children someday—
”

“You’re asking me to be your mistress?” The fury on Kira’s face told him she was not
pleased by his offer.

“Don’t say no. There will be a great many advantages… I—I can protect you and care
for you, give you anything you want.”

“Bastard!” Kira slapped him soundly across the face. “You think nothing of treating
me like a whore. If you imagine I will allow that for the rest of my life, you are
mistaken.”

Suddenly, the indignation left her and she sobbed. Gavin’s heart caught at
the
pain in her blue, blue eyes.

“Kira—” He reached for her.

She jerked away. “How could you? Your proposition dishonors not only me but the feelings
I thought we shared.” She bit her lip and struggled to right her expression. “Apparently,
I was wrong.”

No, she wasn’t, but his caring changed nothing.

She was going to leave; Gavin knew it. He’d given her his best offer. Why couldn’t
she bloody stay?

His mind raced. Alternatives flew, one past the other in a rush until he latched onto
one: the truth. Perhaps if he told her the truth—all of it—she might understand and
stay.

“Damn it, Kira. I cannot marry you because I—
”

The truth was harder to say than he had imagined. It was a weakness he could scarcely
accept. The power of his attraction to her alarmed him. A man of his age, rank, and
moral character should not possess such a failing.

But each time Gavin came near Kira, he only knew he wanted her—more even than the
time before. Her smile, her touch, her affection, her passion.

“Yes, because I’m a half-breed whore. I know.”

“No! I am at fault.” He slapped his palm to his chest. “I cannot— You come into a
room and I…ignite.” He swallowed, trying desperately to read her face. “When we are
apart, I yearn for you, Kira. When I am with you, I want nothing more than to touch
you, be near you. I am ensorcelled beyond all common decency. Do you understand what
I am telling you?”

She shook her head, but he took heart that confusion now diffused the anger that had
tightened her face.

“I am a man who prides himself on control. Yet with you, I seem to have none. And
that makes me…” He paused, cursed, then forced himself to look her in the eye
s
again. “That makes me far more like my father than I ever imagined.”

“Your father?”

Gavin nodded. “A voluptuary of the worst kind. He had no morals, no decency. He always
told me that when the lust seized him, no matter the time, place, or partner, he was
compelled to succumb. I feel that way when I’m with you—every time. It’s as if I must
drink every inch of you in, every chance I get.”

Kira frowned, a flush coloring her cheeks, and Gavin wished to hell he knew what she
was thinking.

“If we married, our joining would not be inappropriate.”

He sighed. This was the part he most dreaded telling her. “If my wants remained confined
to merely you, yes. But I fear you are but the beginning of the problem. Eventually
I will follow in my father’s footsteps and…crave other, more inappropriate lovers.
And I cannot afford to create the kind of scandal—
”

“More inappropriate?”

Gavin drew in a deep breath. She had not heard the worst of his father’s antics, clearly.
Surprising; he’d been sure most everyone had. But of course, she had scarcely been
born when his father disgraced the Daggett name.

“Shortly after my tenth birthday, a member of the House of Commons and a noted evangelist
took a stroll from the houses of Parliament to nearby St. James Park one evening.
There he discovered my father with two common prostitutes.”

She gasped. “They were… in public?”

He looked up to the ceiling, shame burning him as he struggled for the words to explain.
“Yes. And one of the nightwalkers was… not a
woman
.”

Kira gasped. “You mean to say—
”

“All three of them were… intimately entwined together.”

No need to tell her his father had been begging the prostitutes to whip him. No need
to mention his father had been fondling the one man while the woman had taken his
father in her mouth. The descriptions—things he’d overheard, things his father had
told him afterward—were burned in his brain forever. He’d never wanted such activity,
never found it remotely arousing. But he feared he could not account for the future.

“And you think you’re like him?”

“The first time I touched you, I could not stop. I never once considered that I should.
Not until it was far too late. The second time, I knew I should not take you, but
I did. I wanted you so badly. I simply disregarded everything I knew to be good and
moral. And the last time—
”

“You tried to say no to me,” she pointed out.

He shook his head. Didn’t she see? “It was scarcely more than a token protest. It’s
you I want, deeply, madly—for now. But if I’m truly like my father, I’ll…move on.
I’ll create scandal, dragging Aunt Caroline, James, my sisters, and you through the
entire mess.
”

He sighed, willing her to understand. “When I’m not with you, the urge doesn’t…plague
me.”

Puzzlement shone in her eyes. “Do you, even now, want…”

“Oh, yes. You have no idea how badly.”

“But you are restraining yourself,” she pointed out.

“Barely, and only by reminding myself how badly I don’t want to be like my father.”

“Why do you assume the need is lust, not love? Maybe—
”

“I cannot afford to be naïve. Neither can you.”

Kira frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. “Have you yet experienced this…urge
with anyone else?”

“No,” he admitted. “But the way my father described it, it’s like a disease. It will
progress into something terrible.”

She paused, her contemplative expression telling him that she at least considered
his words. Finally, she tapped her foot and glared at him. “It’s ridiculous! I know
you. You would never lower yourself to the kind of behavior your father did, cavorting
with streetwalkers in the park and—
”

“I also never thought I would lower myself to bed my cousin’s bride.” He sighed. “Marriage
simply won’t work. Eventually, you would hate me, and probably only half as much as
I would hate myself. I cannot put you through that pain.”

“And Lady Litchfield inspires none of these dangerous urges?”

“None whatsoever.”

“Ah, so she is safe to wed.”

“Exactly.”

“Because she is not half
Persian.”

“No, because she isn’t you.”

Kira hesitated, her gaze tangled with his own. “This is insanity. You don’t fear lust—you
fear love. And I will not stay if you cannot love me. I hope you and the dowager have
a lovely, dull life together.”

Again, Kira turned away and reached for the door. She would leave, never come back.

And still he couldn’t let her go.

Before Kira opened the door, Gavin grasped her arm and turned her to face him. She
looked furious and hurt, and he wanted to take it all away. Leaving would not heal
her; she had to know that. And if she cared for him as she claimed, how could she
simply leave him forever?

Driven by a turmoil he could neither control nor understand, Gavin gave in
to the spiral of want coiling inside him and bent to Kira
,
claim
ing
her lips in a blistering, possessive kiss. He kissed her thoroughly in a taking that
melded their mouths with ravenous demand. Though she stood still and disobliging,
she tasted so sweet, so hauntingly familiar. He belonged here—some part of him felt
certain of that.

Blood rushed through every bit of his body, carrying a tide of craving with it. He
did not even want to think about how quickly she made him hard
. I
t was not an achievement he was proud of. But Kira made him feel more than that. Her
smile drew him. Her laughter and intelligence tugged at him. She didn’t have sharp
edges like Cordelia. She wasn’t aloof. Kira was all passion, all fire. She lived by
her heart. And he wished he shared her courage so he could do the same.

But he could not.

Gavin looked for the strength to pull away, to remember he was a man engaged to wed
another. His strength was frighteningly absent. Hungry, insatiable, the need within
him clawed for supremacy.