Authors: Nick Nolan
After his bedtime shower, he slipped on some boxers and flopped back onto his bed, staring holes into the ceiling. Going to Lake Estrella with them was a dream about to come true. He pictured taking long walks with Reed on the lakeshore, and sitting together fireside, and watching the sunrise together over the snow-covered mountains.
But he also guessed there would be times when he and Coby would be alone together, and it frightened him. But he could handle it—he always had. After all, this trip would finally allow him time alone with his girlfriend, which would most likely give rise to an event that would smash his doubts about himself once and for all.
He reached up to the lamp on his nightstand and switched it off, sinking the bedroom into the gray velvet of a winter night.
Boys and girls in separate rooms.
He fiddled with the elastic waistband, arched his back, then slipped off his boxers. In three caresses, he was hard. A moment later, he slipped his feet into his shorts and yanked them back up.
He flipped over onto his belly and hugged his pillow tight.
He wouldn’t betray her anymore.
Coby checked his wristwatch, his arm slung heavily around Ellie’s shoulder. “Hey, we’ve already been gone two hours. How much longer, Tyler?”
Jeremy glanced in the rearview mirror. “My aunt said it takes about an hour to get up to the lake once the freeway ends, which should be soon.”
“Are we gonna stop again before we get there?” Ellie asked. “I’m gonna need to pee pretty soon.”
“I don’t think it’s the kind of road with gas stations on it—but I can always pull over someplace.”
“Like in Girl Scouts, right, Ellie? Remember when we were twelve and you went behind a rock on that long hike in Topanga Canyon?” Reed giggled. “And you got your tennis shoes all muddy, and they stank like a cat box for the rest of summer camp?”
“I’ll hold it.” She wrinkled her nose.
A highway sign loomed into view. Fear stabbed his stomach when he saw that it was their turnoff; in a few moments, he would be driving along the same perilous road that had claimed his father. He adjusted the angle of his seatback more upright and cracked his window open.
“How long did you say it’s been since any of your family’s been up here?” Reed asked.
“Almost fifteen years,” he replied. He struggled to keep the Rover stable as drafts from a speeding caravan of snowboard-carrying Cherokees and Suburbans flew impatiently past them in the direction of the ski resorts at Big Bear Lake. Jeremy signaled while checking his mirrors and drifting over to the exit lane, then accelerated as he made the wide, easy turn. They were now on their way up Highway 18.
“So what’s this place like?” Coby asked.
“Big, I guess. I haven’t seen a picture of it, but my aunt said it was one of the nicest houses on the lake when it was new. Someone even wrote an article about it for
Architectural Digest.
”
“Won’t it be all cold and empty and spooky, considering nobody’s been there for such a long time?” Ellie asked. “Which reminds me, what are we going to eat up there, moose fajitas?”
“The property management company turned on the utilities and cleaned the place, and Arthur packed sheets and towels, and those big boxes in the back are our food. I also have my aunt’s credit card if there’s anything else we need.”
“I’m gonna need to puke if that road up there curves as much as it looks like from here,” Ellie warned, checking her seat belt.
“Then why don’t we stop and get you something to eat first,” Reed suggested cheerfully, “and that way you won’t have to stick your finger down your throat after we have lunch at Jeremy’s.”
“You’re just jealous because you wore out your gag reflex in middle school,” Ellie countered. “But at least you got all A’s to show for it.”
The girls cackled, and Jeremy caught Coby throwing him a dirty grin through the rearview mirror. He raised an eyebrow and tossed one back.
It was just before noon by the time Jeremy had driven halfway up the steep, twisting road aptly named Rim of the World Drive. The serpentine asphalt hugged the rocky mountainside where the path had been blasted out of granite many decades before, leaving scarred and barren inclines on the left side and dizzying cliffs on the right. He clutched the steering wheel tightly: was it this next curve? Or had it been that really sharp one they just passed? Without realizing it, his speed had dropped below the posted limit; he checked his mirrors and saw that the impatient whip of SUVs chasing his tail had lengthened.
“Better pull over at this next turnout, Granny McSlowpoke,” Coby said, while looking back over his shoulder. Jeremy cranked the wheel to the right and swung off the main road onto a lookout point and stopped.
“Baby, you look sick. You OK?” Reed put the back of her hand to his forehead.
“Maybe I’m just carsick. I need some air.” He cut the ignition, set the brake, and popped his seat belt. The others released themselves, and then four doors
chunked.
Frigid winds, like a flock of meddlesome ghosts, buffeted the two pairs as they strolled to the observation platform at the cliff’s edge to scan the panorama. From there, they saw the valley floor below, deep as an emerald Grand Canyon, woven over with bottle-green pines and black oaks, slate-gray boulders and patches of snow. Ominous rain clouds overhead obscured the peaks of the mountains, while far to the west, peeking between the foothills, the city of San Bernardino looked rusty under its blanket of smog.
Jeremy realized how the beauty and the danger of this place were intertwined, like life and death, and wondered how he’d feel coming here today with his father instead of his friends. He imagined Jonathan from the photograph, looking older now, walking out toward the bench next to the railing at the edge of the lookout. He turned and called him over, and Jeremy saw himself running to catch up. “I can see now why my dad loved this place,” he told Reed. “It really is incredible.”
“If you think this is nice, you should see Val d’Isère this time of year,” said Ellie, know-it-all-style.
“Bitch, shut up,” said Reed. She reached from behind Jeremy and shoved her hands deep into his coat pockets. “This high altitude makes her even more uppity than usual, if that’s possible.”
“So what happened back there, Tyler? You were driving like a pussy.” Coby punched him playfully on the shoulder.
“Yep, guess I was,” he replied, not looking his way.
“You big stupid ding-dong,” Ellie chided, pulling her boyfriend by the arm. She stood on tiptoe and whispered into his ear.
“Shit, how was I supposed to know?” he asked. Then he turned to Jeremy. “Hey, sorry, dude…I didn’t know this was the place.”
“It’s OK. It was a long time ago.” He grabbed Reed’s hand. “Come on, let’s get going. I can’t wait to get off this fucking road.”
Sometime later, the Rover slowed to a halt in front of 15 Shoreline Drive. Coby jumped out, shoved the squeaking gates open, then climbed back in. Then they rolled through the entrance, crunching along the gravel driveway toward the looming structure at the end.
“Oh,” Reed exclaimed, clutching Jeremy’s hand. “What a
beautiful
house!”
“It’s a chalet, you bimbo,” Ellie snickered.
“You’re both wrong. It’s a mansion,” Coby corrected.
Whatever it is, it’ll be mine soon,
thought Jeremy.
Having been designed and built in the highest contemporary mountain style of the eighties, the structure looked like a hulking inverted V made from rough-cut cedar that supported walls of forest-reflecting glass. Jeremy figured it was as long as four or so normal houses jammed shoulder to shoulder and was nearly three stories tall at the shingled roof’s center peak. From what he could see, the backside of the home cradled an inlet of the lake, and its strip of beach was shaded by a grove of redwoods and punctuated by giant boulders. As Jeremy approached the front door with keys in hand, he discovered that the house was not only surrounded by huge rocks, but in places had been built atop them, as if protecting a nest of eggs.
“That’s the weirdest-looking house I’ve ever seen,” Coby said.
“My aunt said it’s supposed to look like an eagle landing.” He fitted the tarnished key into the door’s lock and turned it. The door swung open. “She wanted something that would piss off the conservative neighbors after they pooled their money to outbid an African American family who was trying to buy a lakefront property.”
“I think it’s gorgeous,” Reed sighed.
“I think it looks like a cross between Noah’s Ark and the Stealth Bomber,” Ellie added, checking her reflection in the dusty windows flanking the entry.
Moments later, the foursome stood on the jagged flagstone floor of the foyer. “Phew! Smells like a doghouse in here,” Coby said, dropping his gym bag onto the floor.
Ellie traipsed delicately down the wide stone stairs to the sunken living room and then dropped her backpack and purse on the huge sectional that faced the water. “My uncle in Telluride always opens every window in his chalet and cranks the heat up to ninety,” she said, spinning lazily, then flopping onto the sofa. “It’s the only way to air out a place like this…like draining and refilling a dirty swimming pool.”
“Then let’s do that,” Jeremy said, grabbing Reed by the hand. “We can explore at the same time.” He located the thermostat and adjusted it, then the pair zigzagged from room to room throwing open the windows and doors.
They climbed their way to the third floor, which possessed a cavernous master suite with its own fireplace and bath, as well as a dusty library with panoramic views of the sparkling lake.
“Well, here we are,” Jeremy whispered, grasping Reed’s waist and pulling her body to his.
“Finally,” she replied. They kissed, savoring the familiar taste of each other’s mouth, then pulled away finally with a mutual peck, like a period after a sentence.
“That was nice,” Reed murmured.
“Sure was. We’d better get back downstairs so we can unload and get settled.”
She led him downstairs by the hand, where they found their friends stretched out on the sectional, lip-locked and panting.
“Hey, you freaks,” said Reed, hands on hips. “Do you think you could tear yourselves away for a sec to help unload?”
“In a minute,” Coby replied. “I gotta wait ’til I can stand up without it breakin’ off.”
“You pig!” Ellie screeched, pushing him onto the floor and throwing a pillow at him. He grabbed it and held it in front of his crotch, then stood up.
“Come on, Tyler,” he said. “We’ll do the men’s work while the girls fix us a snack. I can tell I’m gonna need all my energy for tonight.” He leered at his girlfriend and adjusted himself, then threw the pillow back at her, hitting her in the face.
As they neared the car, Jeremy felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Hey,” Coby whispered. “I know it’s none of my business, but have you and Reed, you know…hooked up all the way yet?”
Should he be truthful? Why not? It was almost a done deal already. “Not all the way, not yet,” Jeremy replied, lifting a box. “And you’re right, it’s none of your business.”
“Then why’d you just tell me, dickwad?” Coby grinned. “So then…do the two of you have anything ‘special’ planned for this trip?”
“Gentlemen never tell.” His face reddened. “All I can say is this is the first time we’ve been away together…so what do you think?”
“I ain’t sayin’ what I think,” Coby laughed, and Jeremy saw that his blue eyes matched the clear mountain sky above his head. “Just let me know if you need any tips.” He threw an arm around his shoulder. “Just think of me as the big brother you never had.”
“Oh, sure, like I’d ever take your advice on women,” Jeremy laughed, shrugging his arm off. “That would be the end of me and Reed, for sure.”
“The offer stands. I’m just a guy trying to help his buddy get his needs met.”
They hefted the flimsy cardboard boxes, then staggered toward the open double doors. Jeremy could see the girls whispering and huddled together on the sofa.
“It’s already after two,” Jeremy said, heading for the kitchen. “We should get unpacked and find some firewood.”
“I saw a big pile on that side of the house.” Reed pointed.
Jeremy set his box down on the dining table. “It’s supposed to get dark and cold really early up here, so we should set up everything before it gets too late.”
“OK by me.” Coby picked up his gym bag. “So who’s sleeping where?”
Jeremy glanced at Reed.
She looked at the ceiling.
It was now or never. “We’re taking the master,” he told them all.
Jeremy looked at Reed, and she looked back.
He saw the delight in her eyes.
“So, like, what are you gonna do first to this big old place?” Coby mumbled, his words thick with the last of their pizza.
“I’ll get the important stuff fixed first.” Jeremy pushed himself up from the wooden coffee table, around which the four had just finished their delivered dinner, then stooped to collect their dirtied plates. “You know…like the roof and the plumbing. Stuff like that.”
“If it was me, the first thing I’d get is a big fuckin’ plasma screen to put up where that buffalo head is.” Coby gulped some soda, then pointed with his empty glass to the decapitated bovine hanging over the fireplace veneered with white jigsawed quartz rocks.
“I think those head things are disgusting,” Reed declared, flipping through an ancient
People
magazine. “What kind of coward hunts defenseless animals, anyways?”
“My uncle used to hunt a lot,” Jeremy told them. “He shot that one. And he has this big polar bear rug in his office too. But he’s really a nice guy.”
“Nobody nice hunts,” corrected Ellie. “I mean, who would want that thing around? It’s like a trophy you won for murder, only with eyes that follow you like it’s still alive, accusing you…accusing you…accusing you.”
“Kind of like
The Telltale Heart
?” asked Reed excitedly.
Coby lifted his head. “What the hell are you girls talking about?”
“Shhhh, my beauty.” Ellie leaned over and pressed her index finger to his lips. “God didn’t create you to understand literary references.”
He snarled at her and tried to bite her finger. She squealed, then stood up. “Reedie-pie, tomorrow we should explore this place. I’ll bet there’s lots of funky junk tucked away.”
“I
love
looking through other people’s closets,” Reed agreed. “You never know how many skeletons you’ll find, and what labels they’ll be wearing.” She turned to Jeremy. “Do you think your family left any of their old clothes here?”
“Probably.” Jeremy nodded. “Go see what you can find.”
“Shall we?” Ellie asked Reed slyly.
“Why, yay-yes!” Reed exclaimed.
Ellie snatched Reed’s hand and pulled her to her feet, then the two disappeared chattering up the stairs.
“Those two,” Coby began, after the girls were gone. “I love thinking of them jiggling around in their bras and panties right now playing dress-up. And maybe…” he whispered “…even a little
slap and tickle, pass the pickle.
”
“Ellie and Reed aren’t like
that,
” said Jeremy dismissively.
“Who knows, man. Nothing about them surprises me.” He yawned, leaning backward with his hands clasped—biceps popping—behind his head. “Ellie’s got a mind of her own, and so does Reed, and we’re all old enough to make our own decisions about stuff like that, don’t you think?”
“Sure, but wouldn’t it bother you? I mean, you guys are together just like us, and I wouldn’t want Reed messing around with someone else.”
Coby lifted himself from the floor and sat next to Jeremy in the spot vacated by Reed. “Hey, if it bugged Ellie every time I connected with someone besides her, and vice-versa, we wouldn’t be together. Believe me, I’m not a jealous dude. We love each other and nothing can change that…but we’re not ready for marriage—at least
I’m
not.” He chuckled. “Besides, how would you know if you’re with the right person if you limit your choices? It’s like, we all need to test-drive the kind of car we’re gonna drive for life—like a minivan or a sports car,” he laughed, meeting Jeremy’s eyes. “Or even a sparkly pink Monte
Carlo.
”
“Carlo’s a great guy, Coby. You guys give him way too much shit.”
“Look,” he began. “I don’t have any problem with gay guys. Some of my best friends are that way.”
“Yeah?” Jeremy raised an eyebrow.
“Sure.” He lowered his voice. “And just about every dude I know, even some of the total jocks, have messed around with guys.” He cracked a smile. “And now they know for sure they like chicks better than dicks. It kind of cures ’em.” He leaned back onto the couch. “But what bugs me about your little girlfriend Carlo is he thinks how he gets off should be some big ol’ political statement…but instead he’s made himself into a big ol’ bull’s-eye.” He nodded. “I’d be careful about hanging around with him too much, if I was you.” His eyes shrank into dark blue marbles. “Folks is already talking, Tyler. You should be hanging out with me and my bros—we’re real men.”
Jeremy startled at the phrase. “Carlo’s real too, in his own way.”
“Yeah. Reeeaaaal queer.”
The girls emerged suddenly at the top of the staircase. Reed stood in a strapless ivory floor-length formal and Ellie posed in a crisp black Chanel suit. She had twisted her hair up into a bun and wore a pearl necklace and earrings.
Coby woofed.
“Oh my God, your mom has such great taste!” Reed nearly shrieked, as she sashayed down the stairs.
“Actually, those are probably my aunt’s,” Jeremy answered sourly.
“You guys should see what you can find upstairs. We saw lots of nice men’s clothes too!” suggested Reed.
“Too bad we don’t know any nice men,” Ellie joked as she followed Reed down, suddenly looking thirty.
“Come on, Tyler. We can’t have them lookin’ prettier than us,” Coby said, pushing up from the sofa. The boys leapt up the stairs to the second floor, where they began twisting doorknobs and sliding open mirrored doors. After unsuccessfully searching five or so sparsely furnished rooms, they eventually made their way into the master suite on the top floor.
Coby flew onto the center of the massive four-poster bed and, mimicking Reed’s southern drawl, began gyrating provocatively. “Oh, give it to me, Jer-uh-maay,” he moaned. “I need to get laid
real bad!
”
Jeremy jumped on top of Coby and straddled his chest, laughing.
“I’ll give it to you, bitch!” he sneered. Coby grabbed him by the shoulders, tossed him over, then climbed atop him, exchanging their positions.
“But I like to be on top, Jer-uh-maay!” he squealed mockingly, fluttering his eyelids and pinning the other’s shoulders with his knees. His swelling crotch hovered inches from Jeremy’s face. Both boys panted through grins.
Their eyes held.
“OK, OK, I give. You can be on top,
this time
…” he conceded, laughing, and Coby jumped off him and stumbled to the closet’s dressing area.
“Come on, bitch, let’s see what we can find. Those girls look as hot as I feel, and I don’t want Ellie to cool down. Now what’s in here?” He slid the mirrored doors open to reveal rows of dusty suits and skiwear. They scanned the rows of clothes and began pulling things out, but found everything wool was moth-pocked, and the skiwear looked ugly and too hot for indoors.
“Must be my uncle’s clothes,” Jeremy said. “If you find something you like, it’ll probably fit. You two are about the same size.”
“Ain’t nobody the same size as me,” Coby leered, squeezing his crotch.
“Yeah, well then why isn’t your girlfriend smiling?” Jeremy laughed.
“And which girlfriend do you mean?” Coby’s eyes sparkled. “Hey, Tyler, with your looks and bod, you could have as many as you wanted, just like me. Just remember: never get caught with your pants down.”
“Now that’s some really useful relationship advice,
big bro,
” he replied. “Come on, let’s keep looking. They’re waiting.”
“Hey, look at these old bathrobes!” Coby said, shoving his hand between the rows of shirts, pants, and jackets.
“Those aren’t bathrobes, they’re smoking jackets,” Jeremy said, remembering that Arthur had corrected him for making the same mistake early in his stay. “That’s why they have matching pajama pants. My uncle’s got tons of them at home.”
“Now these are cool!” He pulled out one of chartreuse-and-gold paisley silk with black velvet lapels, and held it in front of himself while looking in the mirror. “This is gonna make Ellie hornier than a nun!” Meanwhile, Jeremy searched through the selection for one that suited him and discovered one made of rich scarlet satin with chocolate-brown velvet lapels trimmed with gold braid. The boys quickly peeled off their clothes and found themselves standing side by side in their boxer shorts, surrounded by floor-to-ceiling mirrors.
“Commando, my friend?”
“You mean no underwear?” Jeremy asked.
“Boxers under these pants’ll look like diapers; they’ll ruin the effect.”
“Whatever you say,” he answered meekly.
It seemed to happen in slow motion. Coby’s shorts slipped down to his ankles and were kicked across the room. Then Jeremy did the same. They stood naked, an arm’s length apart, side by side. Their chests rose and fell in unison. Jeremy’s eyes fell, with no stream of water to hide his line of sight, boldly onto Coby’s cock, and he thought,
If I reached out right now, what would he do?
Coby took the silk pants in his hand, then bent over and slid in one perfectly muscled leg at a time. He pulled them past his knees, then up mid-thigh and stopped, leaving himself exposed provocatively. Jeremy froze, then mimicked his same movements, but lost his courage and pulled the waist home. Coby likewise pulled his pants all the way up, and they both tied their drawstrings.
The reverse striptease and the rub of the satin against his skin began to arouse him. He turned his back and slipped the robe over his shoulders, then cinched it quickly at the waist.
Coby did the same. They admired themselves in the mirrors. “Jesus, Tyler, we look like old-time movie stars.”
He had to agree. The robes were cut in such a way as to complement a more mature man’s sagging physique, so the effect on the young athletes was breathtaking. The satin and silk draped exquisitely around their square shoulders while falling open at their necks down to just above their belly buttons, framing like artwork the sculptured pectoral and abdominal ridges hewn from their years of grueling swim practice.
“Come on, we better get back downstairs,” said Jeremy.
“Just a sec, I thought I saw something else in here…” He bent over into the closet, searching for whatever had caught his eye. Jeremy, safe now to stare, admired the way the flimsy silk stretched over Coby’s Olympian buttocks, making him look like a statue artfully painted with green-and-gold paisley. “Here!” he announced at last, straightening himself up and turning to offer Jeremy a pair of black velvet slippers embroidered with gold. Jeremy reached for them, but Coby instead folded down onto one knee. “Allow me.” Jeremy lifted his right foot into Coby’s hand, and the slipper slid perfectly into place. Then he raised his left foot, but this time Coby held his calf muscle and squeezed it gently as he pushed on the delicate shoe. Jeremy’s breath stopped. Coby set his foot back down and looked up at him, face at crotch level, smiling.
“Is…there another pair for you?” Jeremy asked, trying to mask his quickened breath.
“These are all too small for me; I’ll go barefoot. Come on.”
They made their way from the bedroom down the stairway to the landing that hovered over the living room, then posed, scowling and with their chests puffed out like models in a catalogue, waiting for the girls to take notice.
Ellie was the first to catch sight. “Why, Reed, I think we’ve just been transported to the Playgirl Mansion,” she sighed from the sofa, her pumps already discarded, her toes wiggling on the top edge of the coffee table.
Reed’s eyes followed the descending figures, trying to gauge which was the more splendid, but realized quickly that they were equally stunning. As Jeremy made his way across the room to her, she ogled him from head to toe. “If you were running for Playmate of the Year,” she murmured, “you would’ve just won.”
He leaned over her and planted his lips briefly, yet wetly, onto hers. “Then we make the perfect pair, don’t you think?”
“Like milk and honey,” Reed cooed.
“More like silk…” Ellie tugged at Jeremy’s robe, then pointed at Reed “…and horny.”
“Bitch, don’t start with me.” Reed wagged her finger.
They spent the next hour in front of the crackling fireplace, languishing in their borrowed finery beneath the bison’s angry stare. Jeremy’s head lay cradled in Reed’s lap, her hand gently stroking the hair off his forehead, while Ellie alternately stomped around or sat, gesticulating constantly as she rattled off elaborate decorating ideas for the grand yet neglected home. And Coby stretched himself flat on the floor closest to the leaping flames, occasionally hurling friendly insults between long bouts of silence.
Around midnight, Jeremy noticed that a snowfall began dusting white the tree boughs beyond the windows, and this made him think of Christmas.
And Christmas made him think of his father.
He imagined a younger Aunt Katharine sitting where he lay now, smiling contentedly as Jonathan rolled himself a snowman out on the deck, or leapt up the staircase, or dug into a bowl of Cheerios in the kitchen. He saw him diving off their private dock, then swimming capably in the rippling summer waters, whooping and hollering, scaring ducks into the sky.
A longing twisted in him to know this man—to feel like his son.
But he had known him once. Somewhere within his brain lived a memory, some neuronal impression that held, like a ghostly tape recorder, his strong young voice. And he made himself try to remember the sound, to conjure up the timbre and music of his voice calling
Jeremy.
But only silence echoed.
His dad was as dead as that buffalo.
“Baby, what’re you thinkin’ about?” Reed asked.
He pushed his lips into a smile. “Nothing important.”
“I’m thinking of a nice warm bed,” Coby announced from the floor. “I say we hit it, ’cause I’m beat.” He pushed himself up with a grunt, then stood over Ellie and offered his hand to help her up, which she hit playfully with her foot.
“I’ll go in when I’m good and ready. I’m not the least bit sleepy yet. Are you, Reed darling?”
“Why, the night is young, I must say,” she answered coyly.
Coby glared at Ellie. She batted her eyes.