Stripping Asjiah II (5 page)

There was that word again; Poppins had said process, now she was saying procedure, they all made it sound like I was here having a routine pap smear. Didn‟t they have the least bit of sympathy for what I was going through?

Then again, in their line of work I guess you had to be a little callus. I mean, how many times had they done the same thing to a million other girls? I was no different than the fifteen year old that was sitting next to me in the lobby. To them I was just another fast ass girl that had managed to get myself knocked up fresh out of high school.

“Okay, undress from the waist down and then we‟ll start the exam.”
I felt like a puppet. Like Geppetto was above me pulling the strings making me do all of this. It was like I had been sedated but the anesthesia hadn‟t kicked all the way in so I was still conscious; still aware and being forced to go through the motions.
“This gel is going to be a little cold; I promise it won‟t take long.” She pressed a few buttons on a machine and like magic my uterus appeared on the screen.
At first it was a little muffled but then I heard it; loud and steady like a bass drum underwater; one-two, onetwo, one-two.
The entire time I had been lying on the table with this cold ass jelly on my stomach I didn‟t look at the screen. I didn‟t want to see anything that resembled another life form. But then this foreign voice escaped my lips and suddenly I was asking to know the sex of the baby. I wished that I could somehow reach out and take my words back but it was too late.
Why was I torturing myself? How would knowing the gender of my baby help me?
I turned my head and faced the doctor not sure if I really wanted her to tell me but a part of me felt like I should know who I was killing. All murderers identified their victims at one point or another.
“Unfortunately, you‟re only eleven weeks so it‟s too early to tell. Usually around twenty weeks if the baby is in a good position, we can tell you then.”
In a thirty-second time frame I felt so many different emotions. I was disappointed because I would never know what I was having, I felt relieved because not knowing was preventing me from attaching myself any further than I already had, and I felt upset because I was putting myself through all of this.
I wanted to tell her to wipe the gel off my stomach, to pull my shirt back down and let me out of this room but I couldn‟t. I was silent.
I felt brainwashed, all I could hear was CJ‟s voice, it was like I was under hypnosis and my agenda was to do one thing and one thing only; terminate.

C J reached into his pocket for his cell which had begun to vibrate. Looking at the caller ID he exhaled and answered the phone.

“What?”
“What do you mean what?” Corey‟s voice dripped with annoyance. “I‟ve called you like three times now, why didn‟t you answer the phone?”
“Just like I said; what do you want Corrine?”
“Well, is it over? How much longer do I have to wait? You said you were coming to get me after you dropped her off; it‟s almost noon. I‟m hungry CJ.”
“Go get something to eat then,” As he listened to her complain he was beginning to think that he had made the wrong decision.
“What I want you can‟t buy at the store.” Corey laid back on her bed and crossed her feet in the air.
“And what is that?” CJ adjusted his jeans and smiled as he listened to her seduce him.
“You; I need you to come take care of me.”
“I‟ll be over there as soon as I‟m done here.”
“Hurry up,” Corey massaged her clit as she thought of him being inside her. “I don‟t know if I can wait much longer.”
“Don‟t start without me baby,”
“Ah...”
“Uh uh; tell me you‟ll wait for me.”
Annoyed, she licked her finger, got up from the bed and decided to take a shower to cool herself off until he arrived.
“Fine,”
Hanging up the phone CJ glanced at his watch. Corey was right, how long was this shit going to take?

T his was the last step.
As I reached the top of the staircase I could see little areas sectioned off by curtains, giving privacy to the recovering girls that had gone before me.
“Right this way.”

I felt like I was floating as I followed the nurse towards a medicine cart.
“Here, take these then wait in the room down the hall. You‟ll begin to have severe cramping but they‟re just contractions. Someone will come in to check on you and make sure you‟ve dilated enough and then you‟ll be escorted into the operating room.”
She left me alone in the hallway with this Dixie cup filled with pills; one red, one blue. Funny, I didn‟t feel like Alice in Wonderland. For a minute I zoned out and found myself waiting for a bunny in a waist coat to come and tell me that I was late and show me the way out of here but it never happened.
I knew that neither one of these pills would shrink me and allow me to walk out of here unnoticed nor would the other make me a giant and allowme to step on CJ‟s throat for putting me through this shit.
I knew the minute I swallowed them I would seal my child‟s fate. The little heart that I heard beating just a few minutes ago would stop. The little hands that I saw would now wave good bye.
I found a bathroom down the hall and splashed water on my face. I flicked some of the water off my fingertips onto the mirror and watched as the drops created streaks distorting my reflection.
“What the fuck am I doing?”
I placed my hands on each side of the basin, closed my eyes and tried to clear my head. This was my baby, a life that I helped create, someone who was depending on me for survival and here I was contemplating ending its life.
I began to think that all the doctors and the nurses that I had talked to today were all angels trying to guide me and push me to make the right choice. All of them except for the bitch who handed me this cup; she had to be the devil; waiting to claim my baby.
I felt a kick as tears rolled down my cheeks. Too many times I had allowed the actions of others to dictate my life, I was tired of doing as I was told, tired of going with the flow just to get by.
My life had been disrupted because of one man‟s decision and that one single act had triggered a snowball effect.
My mother would never be by my bedside as I delivered my first kid; she wouldn‟t be present at my wedding. There were so many aspects of my life that she wouldn‟t be a part of. My father would never walk me down the aisle, he wouldn‟t get to meet my boyfriend, and they would never get to do the “traditional” before you marry my daughter type thing.
So many things that others took for granted, I had to think about because the dynamics of having a relationship with me were completely different than that of an average girl.
If I chose not to have this abortion, things between me and CJ would never be the same. We wouldn‟t be able to come and go as we pleased without having to find a babysitter first, things would be placed on fast forward and all the pressures and stress we never dealt with before would be staring us right in the face.
There were a lot of things I had yet to experience in life, but was that enough to validate my reason for doing this? Could I be that selfish? Could I allow myself to be swallowed up in the avalanche?
“Fuck this.”
I walked over to one of the stalls and tossed the pills into the toilet. Pushing the lever, I smiled as swirls of red and blue mixed in with the water and then disappeared.
I found myself whistling Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious as I walked out of the bathroom and went back downstairs.

“Hello?”
“
You have a collect call from:
LT.”
“
Press one to hear the charges for this call, five to accept, or simply hang up to deny.
”
She had been avoiding him for the past three weeks in hopes that he would get the hint but it seemed like the more she ignored him, the more he called her.

She carefully placed the pregnancy test on the counter, washed her hands, took a deep breath then pressed the corresponding key.

Beep.
“Bitch you don‟t know how to answer the muthafuckin‟ phone now? How many times do I have to call yo‟ass?”
Stacey‟s heart skipped as she listened to him yell obscenities into the phone.
“Fuck you.”
“Aw Stacey, don‟t act like that baby; I‟ll take care of that as soon as I get out of here; maybe you‟ll let me in the back door this time.”
“What happened between us was a mistake and you know it.”
“Do I? I mean, to me it seemed like you liked it.”
“I was only pretending to enjoy it so you could hurry up, bust and get the fuck off me.” Stacey tapped the counter impatiently as she waited for the colors to appear.
“Deny it all you want girlie but I know what it really is. Don‟t worry, it‟s our little secret.”
“Not for long because I‟m going to tell Angel what happened and then…”
“And then what?” Brushing off her threat he tried to contain his laughter. “What you think this nigga is gonna forgive you and welcome you back with open arms?
You must‟ve forgot who the fuck we are talking about. The minute you tell Angel I had your legs spread across your kitchen counter, you‟re as good as dead to him. You might as well start planning the memorial now.”
“Fuck you.” She could feel her face begin to get hot as her temper flared. “You better hope I‟m not pregnant or you‟re going to be laying in a box right next to me!”
“PREGNANT?” Startling the other inmates behind him; LT put his hand around the receiver in an attempt to muffle his voice.
“Oh what‟s wrong? You don‟t sound like you‟re holding your nuts anymore.” Gaining control of the conversation she continued to taunt him.
“Wait until Angel finds out that you raped me
and
got me pregnant.”
“What the fuck did you just say? Bitch I didn‟t rape you! You‟re talking real fucking reckless right now. You wanted me to have it. You were into that shit, throwing your hot ass coochie at me like some little bitch in heat.”
“It‟s my word against yours and who do you think Angel is going to believe after you tried to have him robbed and killed? Tsk, tsk tsk…” Stacey twirled the phone cord around her fingers and smiled, “Now who‟s the bitch?”
“This call will disconnect in thirty seconds.”

Afraid of what would happen if Angel actually did believe the lies she was telling; LT began to try and calm her down.

“Listen, why don‟t you come up here and see me so we can talk; I‟m sure we can come to some kind of agreement.”

Stacey didn‟t have to think about it; without Angel around she didn‟t have anyone to take care of her. She was running out of the little bit of money she had stashed away andshe wasn‟t trying to get a regular job.

Maybe she could get Angel to come off some money too; she was sure if he believed she was pregnant he would do anything for her. He was responsible for her becoming accustomed to this lifestyle in the first place so he should have to pay for her to maintain it. LT‟s petty cash would be an added incentive. His sex game was on point, but it was of no use to her now so his money would have to do.

Stacey took a sigh of relief as she looked down at the minus sign.
“Goodbye LT.”
“Stacey!” Punching the wall his knuckles split on impact. “Stacey!”
“Your chic got you that mad man?” A tall, brown skinned boy stood behind him snickering as he watched his hand begin to swell.
”Mind your fucking business.” Without looking up, he brushed past the curly head stranger and stormed off to his cell.
“Hey-” Holding his hands up in surrender the boy stepped to the side and let him pass. “It‟s not that serious my dude; it‟s just pussy.”
Had LT been paying attention he would‟ve seen that death was staring him right in the face.
A smirk spread across Gabriel‟s lips as he watched him disappear across the pod, “Wait until I tell Angel this shit.”

It seemed like the storm had intensified as lightening ripped through the sky and the rain continued to flood the streets. Sirens blared as the ambulance came to a screeching halt in front of the ER.
“What do we got?” The female attendant rushed to the side of the gurney as the paramedics lifted the girl out of the wagon.

“Hypertensive with massive blood loss, respiratory rate is eight; she‟s still alive but I can barely palpate her pulse.”

“Is she going to make it?” Danielle tried to speak in between sobs as she questioned the EMT.
“This young lady was with her when we arrived.”
“Is she going to be okay?”
More nurses and residents ran to the side of the stretcher as they tried to assess the situation.
“BP‟s 70 palp, respiratory is eight and shallow, pulse is 130 after two liters of NS. Set up a central line; we need blood.”
Suddenly all eyes were on Danielle as the nurse turned towards her. “What‟s her blood type?”
“I…I don‟t know.” Confused and covered in blood she tried to get her thoughts together.
“Does she have any allergies, is she on any medications?” Another doctor chimed in as they tried to get more information about the young girl.
“I…I‟m not sure. I don‟t know her, I found her in a hotel room.”
“Is there
anything
you can tell us Miss?”
Feeling helpless Danielle began to cry as she shook her head. “No.”
“Alright, we need an OR people let‟s go!” Leaving Danielle in the waiting room, the doctors rushed off in a desperate attempt to save Keyshia‟s life.

“B eep…Beep…Beep…Beep.
Other than the constant red light that imitated her heart beat Keyshia was surrounded by darkness. The doctor‟s voices were faint as pieces of her memory started to materialize in her mind.

“Did I say you could leave? You thought you were going to come in here, smoke all my shit and bounce without giving me some pussy?”

Gasping for air Keyshia clawed at his hands trying to release his grip on her neck.
“Now strip bitch!”
She didn’t like the look in his eyes. They looked cold, vicious. She wasn’t sure if he was playing or being for real. The coke had her doubting reality. Her heart began to race as he threw her towards the bed.
“Listen up; the plan is to control the bleeding, repair the organs if there‟s any damage and get out as fast as we can!” The surgeon shouted instructions to the rest of the staff as they prepared to operate.
She wanted to tell them to stop. That she wanted to die, that her life wasn‟t worth saving but she was quiet. She was a zombie, doped up and in no control of her body; just as she was when he raped her.

“I said strip!” Growing impatient he charged towards her striking her violently across the face splitting her lip.