Stubborn Heart (26 page)

T
REVOR
was eventually moved to a regular room. He had been given an additional dose of pain medication and was now snoring softly. Derrick had gone home to pick up clothes and to call Trevor’s mother to give her an update. Mark wet a washcloth and gently wiped Trevor’s face. Sweat had made his hair a little sticky. Mark finger-combed it away from his face. Trevor didn’t open his eyes, but he had a hint of a smile on his face. Satisfied that Trevor was as clean and comfortable as he could be for now, Mark stood beside the bed. He lightly gripped the side rail with both hands as he watched this beautiful man,
his
beautiful man, sleep. After a while, Mark pulled a chair up next to the bed. He sat down and took Trevor’s hand in his own. He turned the chair so that he could watch Trevor sleep.

He let his thoughts wander as he watched the gentle rise and fall of Trevor’s chest. Had it really been only six months since that day in orientation when he first met Trevor? They had been through a lot in the last half a year, good and bad. Mark knew he had caused a great deal of the bad stuff with his behavior. Maybe Carla had been right. Maybe he did drive everyone away. But that was the past. Mark knew what he had to do. As he drifted off to sleep, he promised himself that they would talk as soon as Trevor was better.

“Mark!”

Mark snapped awake as Trevor yanked his hand free. He glanced over at Trevor and jumped to his feet. Trevor was awake and restless, tugging at the covers. His face was a pale gray. Sweat beaded all over his face and ran down his brow. Mark held Trevor’s arm and felt for his pulse. It was weak and fast. His breathing was rough and ragged. Trevor reached over with his left hand and grabbed the side rail, trying to get leverage to sit up.

Mark gasped as he saw the blood stains on the sheets where Trevor’s shoulder had been. He pulled Trevor further onto his side toward him and looked at his back. The bandage was saturated and dripping bright red blood. He yanked the call light cord to pull it out of the wall. Immediately, an alarm began to sound. He lowered the head of the bed and shoved a towel under Trevor’s shoulder.

“Try and relax, baby,” Mark whispered as he held his face near Trevor’s. He used one hand to push Trevor’s shoulder against the towel to maintain pressure. He lightly stroked Trevor’s face with the other hand. Trevor’s eye met his, but he was still restless and struggling against him.

Within a couple of minutes, the room was full of doctors and nurses working to get Trevor ready to go back to surgery. Mark had been forced to retreat to the corner near the bathroom so that the others could do their jobs. He looked on helplessly as people scurried around the bed. Someone rolled in a gurney and placed it beside the bed. Trevor was hoisted onto the stretcher and wheeled away.

Mark watched as the stretcher disappeared down the hallway. His legs refused to move. After a while he looked over at the bed where Trevor had been resting quietly until just a few moments ago. Now the sheets were bloody and wrinkled. Only the pillow remained unscathed. Mark picked it up and pressed it to his face. It still smelled like Trevor. Reverently he placed the pillow on the bedside table. Without thinking, he began pulling the sheets off the bed and rolling them up into a small bundle.

A gentle pressure on his hands interrupted his activity and brought him back to reality. He looked down to see an elderly black woman reaching to take the linens from his hands. Mark didn’t recognize her. She had a kind face, full of lines and wrinkles. Her eyes were soft and warm. She placed the bundle in a hamper.

“Sit over here,” the lady coaxed, patting the back of a chair. “I’ll take care of everything.”

“Not this.” Mark picked up Trevor’s pillow and hugged it tightly to his chest. He moved over to the chair where she had asked him to sit. He stared as she cleaned the bed and applied fresh linens.

“Do you need anything, sweetheart?” the woman asked as she folded back the blanket and top sheet. Mark shook his head. She smiled again and then was gone just as quietly as she had come into the room.

“W
HERE
’
S
Trevor?” Derrick asked as he placed a bag on the table.

“What?” Mark looked up, momentarily confused. His eyes widened and he realized he had neglected to call Derrick. He told him what had happened.

Derrick walked out to the nurses’ station to try to get more information. A nurse called the operating room, but couldn’t get any information except that Trevor was still undergoing surgery. Derrick returned to the room to find Mark still clutching the pillow to his chest, staring at the wall.

“This is all my fault,” Mark said flatly, still not looking at Derrick.

“What are you talking about?” Derrick asked, looked down at Mark, trying to figure out what he was saying.

“You heard me,” Mark said tersely. “I was supposed to be watching Trevor and I fell asleep.”

“So what?” Derrick asked, still not understanding what Mark was talking about.

Mark tilted his head up to meet Derrick’s eyes. The expression of self-loathing on Mark’s face made Derrick’s heart wrench. He stepped over and lowered himself onto one knee in front of Mark so that they were eye level with one another.

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” Derrick said.

“I was supposed to be watching him,” Mark spat, his voice laden with disgust. “I cannot believe I let this happen.”

“Oh, Mark,” Derrick soothed, placing a hand on Mark’s arm. “You can’t believe any this is your fault.”

“You’re damned right it’s my fault.” Mark stared at Derrick. “Trevor was lying here bleeding to death, and I didn’t even know it. Because I fell asleep, Trevor almost died. He may still die.”

“You can just cut that crap right now!” a voice thundered from the doorway. Mark looked up to see Pete as he strode into the room. “You’re the hero here, Mark, not the villain.”

“What?” Mark looked up at Pete.

“I said you saved his life,” Pete replied.

“No.” Mark shook his head.

Pete crossed the room and knelt near Mark. He clasped Mark’s shoulder with one strong hand. “Think about it, Mark. What color was the blood?”

Mark shook his head, not comprehending. “Red,” he answered softly.

“
Bright
red,” Pete echoed.

“So?” Mark asked, still trying to understand.

“The bleeder was an artery,” Pete explained. “What you saw happened in a couple of minutes. If you had not been here and acted as quickly as you did, Trevor would be dead right now.”

Mark gasped as the implications of what Pete said sunk in. Trevor really had almost died.

“But is he okay now?” Mark asked quietly, still trying to process everything Pete was saying.

“I think everything is fine now. As a precaution, I want to move him to the SICU to watch him more closely for a day or so. It’s probably overkill, but I don’t want to take any chances.”

Mark nodded his understanding. He leaned forward and his gaze dropped to his feet.

Pete pushed back on Mark’s shoulder, making him look up again. “You need to understand that I’m not moving him because of anything you didn’t do. I meant what I said earlier: you are the reason Trevor is alive right now.”

T
REVOR
lay resting quietly in his new bed. He still looked pale, but his skin color was much better than before he had been whisked away to the operating room. A crisp white blanket was tucked up to his chin. To the right of the bed, an electronic monitor displayed a continuous tracing of Trevor’s heartbeat, his blood pressure, and his breathing pattern. Mark felt himself relax as he listened to the soft rhythmic beep that mimicked Trevor’s heartbeat. Vital signs were updated continuously. There was no guesswork. Any significant changes would set off an alarm to notify staff. Mark breathed a sigh of relief. This, he understood.

Derrick placed a hand on Mark’s shoulder as they stood in the doorway of the room. Neither man wanted to risk waking Trevor. Derrick held up his phone and mouthed the name “Helen.” Mark nodded and Derrick left to go to the waiting room. Quietly, Mark walked over and sat in a chair.

“Mark,” Trevor’s voice called softly.

Mark started and was instantly alert. He hadn’t realized he had dozed off. He hurried over to the bed, where Trevor was working to get his arm out from under the sheet and blanket. Mark stopped him and smoothed the covers back down.

“What do you need, Trev?” Mark asked as he ran a hand over Trevor’s cheek.

Trevor shook his head. “You. Just you.” He smiled and rubbed his face against Mark’s hand.

“You have got to stop scaring me today,” Mark murmured as he leaned to kiss Trevor on his forehead. “We’ve had enough excitement for a while.”

“I know,” Trevor said. He looked at Mark and his expression became serious. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I’m kidding!” Mark chuckled. He hugged Trevor and turned his face away so that Trevor wouldn’t see the tears that had welled up in his eyes. “I swear you’re going to be the death of me,” he scolded affectionately.

“Mark,” Trevor said, shifting back so he could see Mark’s face.

Mark placed his hand on Trevor’s chest, rubbing lightly. He waited expectantly for Trevor to continue. Before Trevor could say anything else, they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Are you picking up extra shifts today, or what?” Carla asked as she walked into the room.

“What are you talking about?” Mark asked, and then he grinned, realizing he was still wearing the hospital scrubs they had brought him in the emergency department. “Actually, I stopped by to check up on you,” he teased.

“I’m grown!” she huffed indignantly. “Why would I need you to check up on me?”

“I heard you were in charge today.” Mark chuckled.

Carla rolled her eyes. “I work for this crazy man, and he makes me do it.”

“Is there a reason you came in here to torment me?” Mark asked, grinning. His eyes were still bright with tears.

“Yes,” Carla said, looking right at him. “I want you out of here for a while.”

Mark’s eyes widened in horror, and he shook his head violently. “No.”

“I mean it,” Carla said, placing her hands on her hips. “I want you to go home, get cleaned up, and spend a little time taking care of yourself. I don’t want to see you back in here for at least four hours.”

“You can’t make me leave,” Mark protested.

“I already told you that I work for a crazy man,” Carla said, smirking. “Do you really want me to have to tell him that you refused to follow the orders of the person that he left in charge of his unit?”

Mark tittered nervously, but he threw up his hands in surrender. “Okay. Okay. I’ll leave and get cleaned up.”

T
HREE
hours later, a clean and refreshed Mark poked his head in the door to Trevor’s room. He was sleeping soundly and appeared to be comfortable. Even his skin had a healthier pink glow. Mark breathed a sigh of relief as he looked at the electronic display and saw that all of Trevor’s vital signs were within normal limits. He quietly slipped out of the room and then walked around the unit, spending a few minutes talking with the nurses on duty.

“He was just asking about you.” Jan looked up from the console where she was working and nodded toward Trevor’s room. “I told him you were on the other side of the unit.”

Mark thanked her and walked into the room. Trevor was awake and watching a nature show on television. Otters glided through the water, chasing one another. Trevor smiled and extended one arm in invitation. Mark leaned over and gave him a soft, warm kiss. Trevor grasped his arm and tugged to keep Mark from moving away.

“I missed you so much,” he whispered into Mark’s ear and nipped it lightly.

Mark giggled. “I’m glad someone is feeling better.” He pulled the chair to the side of the bed and sat down. He reached over to take Trevor’s hand.

“They hooked me up so that whenever I hurt, I push this button and give myself some pain medicine.”

“Honey, I’m a nurse. I do know what patient-controlled analgesia is,” Mark said jokingly.

Trevor grinned. “Oh yeah. Did I mention that the medicine makes me loopy?”

“Yep. That’s all because of the medicine,” Mark teased, kissing the knuckles on the hand he was holding.

“
T
HIRTY
-minute warning,” Jan called as she placed a small pile of linens on the table outside Trevor’s door.

Mark’s face registered surprise, and he stood to protest.

“No arguments.” She held up one hand to silence him. “Nine o’clock is bedtime. No visitors. No exceptions.”

Mark looked over at Trevor, who nodded his agreement.

“Everyone is ganging up on me.” Mark sighed theatrically, dropping his arms to his sides.

Jan laughed and waved as she walked to the next room.

“I guess I can sit in the waiting room.”

“And do what?” Trevor frowned. “You should go home and get some sleep. You have to work tomorrow.”

“No. I want to be close by in case something happens again,” Mark protested. “And I should probably take tomorrow off so I can be here when your team comes in to check on you.”

“Mark,” Trevor interrupted. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’d been dipping into my pain medicine.” He grinned at the shocked expression on Mark’s face.

“What are you talking about?” Mark asked.

“You,” Trevor answered seriously. “Now you’re the one who is talking all goofy. I need you to take care of yourself, not me.”

“Well, excuse me for caring,” Mark replied tersely.

“Mark, baby,” Trevor soothed. “I am doing fine and the nurses are watching me like hawks. God knows, nothing is going to happen to me in your unit. You need to get some rest and start getting back to normal. Sleep and then come in to work tomorrow. Your office is closer than the waiting room.”

“Fine. I can tell when I’m not wanted,” Mark huffed. “At least let me help you brush your teeth and get ready to go to sleep.”

“I like the sound of that.” Trevor smirked, wagging his eyebrows. “Just close the door and pull the curtain.”