Stuck On My Stepbrother (15 page)

I opened my eyes and watched his boots moving on the floor beneath me. I didn’t dare look up at him, in case the spell broke. I’d never felt so exposed but so safe at the same time.

Adam grabbed me by the thighs and twisted my body around a little. The silver ring rotated, I realized, and he could spin me around on it. He stood directly behind me, and I wondered for a moment whether he was going to fuck me. I’d read about sex swings. He was probably just the right height to do it. Did I want it to happen like this?

I heard his fingers fumbling in his pants.

Red? Should I shout red?
 

Or… green?

Quickly, he span me around until he was in front of my head.

I saw the flicker of black satin, and then felt the sheer fabric being pulled across my eyelids. I snapped my eyes shut and everything went black. He tied the material in a tight knot around my head. Strange to say it, perhaps, but it felt even better to have something tied around my head too. Like I was being cradled even more securely. He left me hanging beside him for a moment, and I felt the heat coming off his body, standing beside me in silence.

Then I heard him walking away, leaving me hanging there, blind, completely and totally at his mercy.

I don’t know how long he was gone for. I couldn’t see or hear a thing. I was just hanging there, swaying ever so slightly from side to side as the weight of my body hung from the ring above me.

When the footsteps returned they were slow, meaningful, like a lion closing in on its prey. It sounded like they were a few meters away from me when they stopped. Then I heard something new. A click. The click of a camera button being pressed. And again.
 

Click. Click.

Then more footsteps.

I’d forgotten about the photographs. It felt horrifying, suddenly, thinking about that extra ‘eye’ looking at me. It was one thing having my stepbrother see me with my legs splayed apart like this. The terrifying thought popped into my head that he might show these photographs to someone else. Attach them to a round robin email sent to all staff at work? Cc’d to my old boss, Christina, for added humiliation. Oh god. I felt so vulnerable.

‘Adam,’ I said warily. ‘You’re not going to show these photos to anyone, are you?’

The sound of the camera stopped, and for a few moments, there was nothing but silence.

‘I didn’t say you could ask questions,’ he said angrily. He stepped right up close to me and grabbed my hair, swinging me about on the ring a little. ‘It sounds as if you don’t trust me, little sister.’

‘I’m sorry, sir,’ I said, aware how often I’d been apologizing to him today.
 

‘Tell me “this naughty little whore is sorry”,’ he commanded.

I shrieked as he gripped me by the butt, his fingers pressing hard into the soft flesh of my buttocks.

‘I’m sorry,’ I sobbed, unable to say it.

‘This little whore…’ he began.

‘Yellow!’ I cried, as his fingers pushed into me harder.
 

As soon as I uttered the word, his fingers retracted, and held me beneath my stomach, firmly but gently supporting me, giving me his strength for a moment. ‘I’m going to punish you now,’ he said. ‘Firstly, for asking questions without my permission. Secondly, for not doing as I told you. Do you understand that.’

I nodded. ‘Yes, sir. I understand.’

I heard him pick something up off the floor, and then felt his hands on my ass again. ‘Are you going to take the punishment like a good girl?’ he asked, his voice a little more tender than it had been before.
 

‘Yes, sir,’ I said, growing in bravery, relieved to know that I had the power to make him stop anything I didn’t want. That ‘yellow’ had made him stop hurting me at once. That, despite our game, whatever it was were were doing with one another, he still respected me. That in one way, at least, I was still in control. ‘This little whore needs to be punished,’ I said timidly, enjoying the terrible, forbidden sound of the words as they came out of my mouth. I felt like I’d never said anything so naughty in all my life. It felt amazing to say something so bad, and be considered a ‘good girl’ for doing so.

He placed one hand firmly beneath my stomach, his fingers splayed out over me. His hands were so large that he covered the space from beneath my breasts, right down to my pubis, all the way across my abdomen.
 

Then, there was silence.

The first thing I was aware of was the almighty crack. The pain came afterwards. A delayed reaction. And then a terrible sting across my buttocks. A pain like that, so close to my exposed buttocks – it felt
so
scary. This man had the power to really injure me, if he wanted to. Before I had the chance to properly process it, the same thing happened again.

Another crack.

This time, the pain seared. I cried out. I’d never felt pain like it. I’d had my wisdom teeth taken out, and experienced the ache of my gums as the painkillers wore off. I’d scraped my knee when I fell off my bike as a a girl. I’d had an ear infection and cried myself to sleep three nights in a row when I was a teenager. But
nothing
like this. It was like the stick had split me open.
 

I hung there, while Adam remained silent, and I had no idea what was coming next. My skin was throbbing. And, something I hadn’t expected at all, and almost felt embarrassed to admit to myself, is that my pussy was throbbing too. It was as if the pain had travelled down through my stomach, and transferred into a tingling sensation between my legs.

Crack. He hit me again.

I shrieked.

My pussy throbbed even more.

I didn’t know whether I was in agony, or turned on, or both.

‘Re–’ I started to shout out, unsure whether I wanted to use the safeword, but it had just started to pop out, like some kind of automatic reaction. ‘Adam!’ I screamed, changing my mind at the last minute and screaming out Adams’ name.

The hand holding me by the stomach grew rigid, less gentle, less supporting, and Adam whipped me again. And again. And again. ‘Never call me that,’ he said, in the most serious tone I had ever heard him use. ‘It’s
sir
.’ And he cracked the rod against me one more time to make sure I’d understood.

Each time the rod touched me, I screwed up my eyes beneath the blindfold, and cried out involuntarily, but each time the throbbing between my legs grew harder. I was in a lot of pain, but I was amazed to discover that I was actually growing
wet
down there. I wondered if it was obvious, if Adam could sense it.

‘Rose,’ he said, his voice appearing suddenly up close to my ear, like he was the voice inside my head. ‘I was going to take you down now. But I’m going to leave you hanging here for an extra five minutes as punishment.’

His face moved away from mine, and his hands let go of me, and he left me there, swinging on the rope, which was creaking ever so slightly as my body pulled at it.
 

I wasn’t sure where Adam was standing, or if perhaps he’d walked away. The blood was pumping so hard in me now that I could hear my own heartbeat. My pulse was racing, and my ass was stinging. I felt my chest fishing and falling fast, but it was too contained by the ropes to breathe as hard as my lungs wanted to.
 

Eventually, though, my pulse slowed down, the stinging became sharper, more focused, so that I could feel the lines of exactly where the rod had hit me. I concentrated on the pain, weirdly enjoying the feeling of it. I had never felt this alive. So aware of my own mortality.

The more that my body relaxed, the safer I began to feel, until eventually, after a couple of minutes, it was as though I was enveloped in a cocoon, warm and cosy, listening to nothing but the sound of my own heartbeat and breathing, like I was floating through space, peaceful and dreamy.

And then, somewhere behind me, I heard the sound of his breath. Fast, and heavy. Growing faster. Heavier. Faster.

And then silence.

None of us had spoken for ten minutes. Not me, not Adam, and not the chauffeur. We were driving back towards Adam’s apartment, and none of us had said a word since getting in the limo. Adam was staring out of he window as if in a daze.
 

I had felt so good while I had been tied up. So strangely free, like I had finally achieved something I’d been yearning for all my life, without even knowing it. I had felt safe too, and
wanted
. I had been almost euphoric. But now – he wasn’t even talking to me. Three hours had passed by, the most intense three hours of my life, and now it was as if we barely knew each other.

As the limo took us slowly through the busy New York streets, I felt broken. Back in the warehouse, I felt like I’d transformed into the most beautiful ornament, delicate and precious like a Chinese case, but now, it’s as if I’d slipped through Adam’s hands, and I”d just smashed on the floor.
 

Did I do something wrong?

Is he angry with me?

I fidgeted in my seat, my buttocks red raw from the rod he’d whipped me with. I felt sure the skin had been broken. Perhaps I was even bleeding. I had no idea it was going to hurt so much. Getting spanked was one thing, but the stinging sensation that built up in me afterwards was another thing entirely. It was a constant reminder of what I’d put myself through. What Adam had done to me.

Finally, after what felt like an absolute eternity, the limo reached Adam’s place. As it stopped outside the entrance, he turned to me, and said the first words he’d spoken all journey. ‘Won’t you come inside, Rose?’ he said, his eyes looking through me, still in some kind of daze.

‘I don’t know…’ I mumbled, not sure if I was welcome, not sure what I wanted at all right now, if I was honest. I didn’t want to go into his apartment to be ignored, and I didn’t want to go back home to my mom’s either.

‘Please,’ he urged, more softly, looking straight at me now.

I didn’t know what else to do, so I nodded and got out of the car, wincing at the pain in my thighs and backside.

Adam said a few words to the chauffeur, then got out and joined me, and we walked into the building together. The doorman, John, bowed at me again, and, like a fool, I bowed back.

In the elevator, Adam remained silent. As we rose up higher and higher, I became aware of how drained I was. I was exhausted. I closed my eyes, feeling the rumble of the elevator between the soles of my feet. Then I felt a hand on my right shoulder, firmly pressing down on me. I almost started, not expecting to be touched, but immediately afterwards, felt another hand on my left shoulder. I looked at the elevator attendant, who remained standing facing the doors, and was unaware of the electricity I was feeling now Adam had placed his palms on me.

I felt Adam’s breath on my cheek now. His lips against my ear lobe. ‘Thank you,’ he whispered into my ear.

The doors opened and we stepped out into the hallway. I noticed that Adam’s hands were trembling as he undid the lock on his front door. ‘Go upstairs, Rose,’ he said. ‘I’ll be up in a minute.’ He disappeared through one of the three doors in the entrance hall, leaving me standing opposite the statue of the statue of Artemis.
 

So you’re the goddess of virginity, huh?
Her eyes pierced into me.
You protect young women from predators?
 

I looked at the arrow, clutched in her hand.
Don’t look at me like that, Artemis
, I thought, and shivered.
 

I climbed the stairs wearily, each step like climbing a mountain. When I got to the top, I was ready to collapse. I could barely walk across the floor to get to the sofa. I almost crumpled onto the ground, right where I was. Somehow, I managed to drag myself across the floor. Instead of falling onto the sofa, though, as I had intended, I found myself drawn to the window, looking out over the city. It looked different today. There was a breeze running through the trees. It was overcast. It was only half eight, and dusk was approaching. I saw people moving in groups, like ants, through Central Park. So many of people traveled through life together. It was so important to have someone. Everybody had to have
someone
.
 

Oh god, what have I done? I let Adam come too close. I exposed myself. Made myself vulnerable. And for what?

Still feeling like that smashed vase, I fell to the floor of his apartment in pieces, and I began to sob. A deep, heavy sob, for everything I’d ever done. For the times I’d answered back to my mother, the times I’d bitten off more than I could chew, the times I’d wanted to be something better than I was, and failed.

As my cries became more plaintive, accompanied by huge gasps for air, with big, ugly sniffs and snorts as the tears fell, I began to feel something extraordinary. First, I felt all the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Then I felt a tingling sensation down my spine, and my ears burning. Soon, it was as though I could feel every droplet of the blood that was running through my veins. I felt hyper-aware, like my body was preparing itself for a ‘fight or flight’ scenario.

Then, I heard his voice. ‘Rose,’ he said. ‘Come with me.’

I turned around, and Adam was there, looking fresh-faced and alert. More alert than I’d ever seen him, in fact. He held his hand out to me, and waited.

I got to my knees, swallowing away the sobs, and then took his hand. I had no idea where he was going to lead me, but I didn’t know where I was in any of this any more.
What’s happening to me?

He led me across the apartment floor, and I realized I’d only ever been in that one part of his apartment. There was so much more to see. In one corner, for instance, there was a library, packed full of multicolored book spines, tantalisingly bright and welcoming. There was a love-seat in the center of the library, and I knew that I could have lost myself in there among the literature for hours, given half the chance.