Stunning (18 page)

Spencer’s mind reeled. “I assure you that’s
not
what they’re thinking. That’s not what I’m thinking, either.”

“Okay.” Reefer crossed his arms over his chest. “Tell me what you
are
thinking, then.”

Spencer opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Infuriatingly, she couldn’t think of a single reason Reefer would understand. Even worse, maybe he was right—maybe she
did
want an automatic clique. Maybe she wanted to impress her parents, Mr. Pennythistle, Amelia, Melissa, and everyone at Rosewood Day who didn’t believe in her. But Reefer had made it sound like wanting those things was shallow and unadventurous. He painted her as an eager, insecure little girl, only wanting to make Mommy and Daddy happy, not thinking for herself.

“Where do you get off?” she sputtered, facing Reefer. “What makes you so high and mighty? What about Princeton itself? They only admit a few people while rejecting plenty of others. You have no problem with being part of
that
!”

“Who says I don’t have a problem with it?” Reefer said quietly. “You really shouldn’t—”

“Judge a book by its cover, I got it,” Spencer snapped angrily. “Maybe you should listen to your own advice.” She fished in her wallet and flung two twenties at Reefer for the pot. He stared at them as though they were coated in anthrax. Then she marched out of the house, slamming the front door behind her.

The cold air was a welcome greeting on her hot skin. Her jaw hurt from clenching it so tightly. Why did she even care what Reefer thought? It wasn’t like they were friends. Still, she glanced up at his bedroom window. The blinds weren’t parted and Reefer wasn’t looking forlornly out, begging her forgiveness.
Jerk.

Rolling back her shoulders, she stomped down the steps and pulled out her cell phone to call the cab company to take her back to the motel. Her eyes watered, and she drew back and sniffed the phone’s leather case. It smelled like the pot Reefer had given her. She wrinkled her nose, cursing the odor. It no longer smelled of sweet, tangy orange peels. Maybe it never had.

21

A FRIENDLY REUNION

On Saturday evening, Emily scurried down the street in Old Hollis, the commercial district next to the college that boasted bars, restaurants, funky T-shirt shops, and a psychic who read tarot cards. A neon sign in the shape of an ice cream cone swung from an awning ahead, and her stomach did a nervous flip. She was on her way to hang out with Isaac again, and even though her secret weighed heavily on her, the buzzy, giddy feeling she’d had since she last saw him hadn’t ceased.

She couldn’t stop thinking about Isaac since their dinner. The way he’d hung on her words, the way he’d stood up for her in front of his mom—he seemed older, somehow, really mature.

“Emily?”

She stared across the dark street. A figure in a blue checked coat was waving at her from Snooker’s, a college bar with Eagles pennants and Pabst Blue Ribbon lamps. He had a wrist brace on his hand and spiky dark hair. When he called her name again, Emily recognized the voice immediately. It was Derrick, her closest friend from the summer.

“Oh my God,” Emily yelped, crossing the street. A driver honked angrily as he swerved to avoid her. “What are you doing here?” she called gleefully to Derrick.

“Taking some classes at Hollis.” Derrick grabbed Emily and engulfed her in a huge hug. He looked her up and down. “Man, you look a little different since I saw you last. What happened to you, anyway? You fell off the face of the earth! We were supposed to hang out back in the summer, but you never showed. Never called, either.”

Emily stared down at her sneakers, feeling ashamed. She’d ditched Derrick the day she’d overheard Gayle saying that
she
was the one who was pregnant. She’d meant to call him later with an update, but she hadn’t gotten around to it. She thought she’d see him at the restaurant, but their schedules had never matched up. A week passed, then another, and suddenly it felt weird to call him. Too much had happened. There was too much to explain.

Derrick leaned in closer, giving Emily a concerned look. “How did everything go with the baby?”

“
Shhh
.” Emily looked around, terrified one of the passersby on the busy street might hear. “No one knows about that. Especially my parents.”

Derrick’s eyebrows shot up. “You
still
haven’t told them?”

Emily shook her head. “I didn’t have to.”

“So I guess you didn’t keep it, then.” Derrick twisted his mouth. “And I
know
you didn’t give it to Gayle.” He looked wounded. “You know, I
should
be mad at you. You got me in some deep shit with that woman.”

Emily shivered at the sound of Gayle’s name. “What do you mean?”

“About two weeks after you ditched me, she found me in her garden shed and told me you went back on your word. She was unhinged. She thought I had something to do with it, helped you escape or something. She started throwing stuff at me—a bag of birdseed, a rake, then a shovel. She broke a window—it was insane. I tried to tell her I had no idea what she was talking about, but she didn’t believe me.” He bit his lip. “I’d never seen her so . . . violent.”

Emily covered her mouth with her hands. She thought of A’s last note, which all but spelled out how Gayle was searching for the baby. What did Gayle have planned when she found her? Was she going to take her away from the Bakers? And exactly what role was A playing in it all?

Emily felt a presence beside her and looked up. Standing opposite Derrick, with a strange look on his face, was Isaac. “H-hey,” he said cautiously. His eyes flickered to Derrick, then back to her.

“Oh!” Emily blurted a little too loudly. “Isaac! Hey!” She gestured to Derrick. “This is my friend, Derrick. Derrick, this is, uh, Isaac.”

Derrick’s eyes widened. “
Isaac?
” Emily remembered that one night last summer, she’d admitted Isaac’s name to Derrick.

“W-we should get going,” Emily said, inserting herself between the two boys. She knew Derrick wouldn’t say anything, but this was just too weird.

“We should finish catching up sometime,” Derrick said, patting Emily on the shoulder. “I’ve missed you.”

“Uh huh,” Emily said quickly, taking Isaac’s arm and hurrying down the street. “Great to see you, Derrick! Bye!” She felt bad for ditching Derrick again, but she didn’t dare turn around.

They passed a retro toy store, a bank, and an empty storefront before Isaac cleared his throat. “So who was that?”

“Derrick?” Emily chirped innocently, pushing into the ice cream shop. The bells on the door chimed cheerfully. “Oh, he’s just a friend I met last summer in Philly.”

Then she gazed hard at the menu board above the counter and started to ramble. “So what are you going to get? I hear the cherry vanilla is really good. Or, ooh, look! Organic rocky road!” If she kept talking, she figured, Isaac wouldn’t be able to get a word in edgewise.

“Emily.”

She looked up guiltily. In the bright light of the ice cream parlor, Isaac’s eyes looked bluer than ever. He fiddled with a string bracelet around his wrist. “Are you sure you’re all right? You seem really freaked.”

“Of course I’m all right!” Emily said, knowing her voice sounded high-pitched and strange.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Isaac said, “but did that Derrick guy do something to you? It seemed like you couldn’t wait to get away from him.”

Emily searched his face. “Oh my God,
no
.” It was so funny that she burst out laughing. If
only
it was that simple.

The line shifted, and Emily and Isaac moved closer to the register. “I care about you, that’s all. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Emily kept her gaze fixed on the chrome ice cream scoops behind the counter, her heart breaking from Isaac’s kindness. She
wanted
him to care about her. “He’s just an old friend I confided in a lot about Ali—that’s probably what you were sensing,” she said haltingly. “There’s nothing weird going on. I promise.”

“Are you sure?” Isaac asked, grabbing Emily’s hands.

“Positive.” She peered at their entwined fingers. They looked so nice together. Did the baby’s hands look like a combination of theirs? Did the baby have Isaac’s smile, Emily’s freckles? A lump formed in her throat.

“Okay, well in that case, there was actually something I wanted to ask you about,” Isaac said, looking serious.

Emily swallowed hard, suddenly worried he could read her thoughts. “Yeah?”

Isaac looked into her eyes. “Do you want to go with me to Tom Marin’s fund-raiser ball tomorrow? It sounds fun, and my dad’s company isn’t catering it.”

“Oh!” Emily said, unable to hide her surprise. She’d intended on going to the fund-raiser alone, especially since she was only going in order to help the girls steal Gayle’s phone. Bringing Isaac would be tricky. What if Gayle said something? What if she took one look at Isaac and knew, somehow, he was the father?

But Isaac was looking at her nervously, like he’d be crushed if she said no. And before she could stop herself, she blurted out, “Yes!”

“Great!” Isaac said, looking relived. “It’s a date.”

Emily forced a bright smile on her face. She’d never felt so many things at once. Freaked, definitely. Pleased, too—she did want to see Isaac again. But she also hated herself for everything she wasn’t telling him. She was playing a very dangerous game.

It was their turn to order, and they stepped up to the counter. A motorcycle engine revved, and she glanced at the street out the window. There, across the wide avenue, backlit by the neon sign of the Hollis Liquor Store, stood someone in a black hood, staring at her. At first, she thought it might be Derrick, but this person was smaller, thinner. Emily shot away from Isaac and wound around the tables to get a closer look, but by the time she was at the glass, the figure was gone.

22

THE TOUGHEST DECISION EVER

Aria stood at the window of Ella’s house in Rosewood, peering out at the dark street. She felt a hand on her shoulder and smelled Ella’s familiar patchouli perfume. Her mother wore a paint-spattered artist’s smock and chopsticks in her hair. She’d recently gotten inspiration for a new painting series, and between her new boyfriend, her job at an art gallery in Hollis, and her time in the studio, Aria barely saw her.

“What are you and Noel up to tonight?” she asked, perching on the paisley wing chair she and Byron had bought at a flea market a million years ago. “That’s who you’re waiting for, right?”

A lump formed in Aria’s throat. Truthfully, she was hoping Noel wouldn’t show up for their date. That way, Aria wouldn’t have to break up with him.

A’s note had tortured her all day, and she’d debated saying something versus keeping quiet. If she kept the secret, she’d have to end things. On the other hand, if she outed Noel’s father, Noel would hate her and probably break up with her anyway. And how the hell had A found out? How did A know everything?

Aria had no doubt that A would spill Mr. Kahn’s cross-dressing secret if she didn’t act soon. It was bad enough that she still felt like she’d ruined her own family—
she couldn’t ruin Noel’s, too. Only, could she really dump Noel after all they’d been through? She loved him so much.

She looked up at her mom and took a deep breath. “Do you still blame me for what happened between you and Byron?”

Ella blinked hard. “What do you mean,
still
?”

“I kept it a secret. If I would have said something to you, maybe you could have . . .”

Aria’s mother sank further into the chair cushion. “Honey, your father put you in a horrible position. You should have never had to make the decision to tell or not to tell. Even if you had told me sooner, it wouldn’t have changed anything in the end. It’s not your fault.” She laid a hand on Aria’s thigh.

“I know, but you got so mad at me for not saying anything,” Aria mumbled. Ella had kicked her out of the house, and she’d had to live with Sean Ackard, her then-boyfriend.

Ella cradled a knitted throw pillow between her hands. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I was just so blindsided, and I had to lash out at someone.” She looked up. “I’m sorry, too, honey. You shouldn’t dwell over this. Things happen. And we’re all happier and healthier now, right?”

Aria nodded, feeling a knot in her stomach. “But if we were to do it all over again, would you rather I told you sooner?”

Ella thought about this for a moment, running her finger over her bottom lip. “Maybe not,” she said. “I think I needed to be in the dark, at least for a little while longer. I needed to get strong enough to know what I wanted and realize that I was capable of living on my own. Moving to Iceland, figuring out a new country, that really helped me, but it was because of your father that we went there. So, actually, Aria, if I had known earlier, I never would have gotten that experience. In a weird way, I’m glad I found out when I did.”

Aria nodded, working this over in her mind. “So you’re saying that if you know a secret about someone, but you also know that someone else isn’t ready to hear it, you should keep it to yourself?”

“I guess it depends.” Ella wrinkled her brow, looking suspicious. “Why? Do you know a secret about someone?”

“No,” Aria said quickly. “I was just speaking hypothetically.”

Her mom’s cell phone rang, saving Aria from having to explain further. But then she peered out the window and saw Noel’s Escalade parked at the curb, and her stomach clenched. Ella’s advice made perfect sense, but that meant she had to break up with Noel.

Swallowing hard, she waved good-bye to Ella, zipped up her denim jacket, and stepped out the door. Her heart broke when she saw Noel’s smiling face through the window. “You look gorgeous, as usual,” he crooned when she opened the door.

“Thanks,” Aria mumbled, even though she’d worn her ugliest jeans and a big, bulky sweater that was one of her first knitting projects. She wanted to seem as unattractive as possible to soften the blow.