Suck It Up and Die (44 page)
Read Suck It Up and Die Online
Authors: Brian Meehl
She gave him a mischievous smile. “To mess with grown-up heads, of course.”
Morning was distracted by a red flash between dancers. The whip of long blond hair that followed confirmed his sighting. “There’s Zoë.” Dancing Portia toward her, he got a quick look at Zoë’s tux-clad date. His black hair was even longer than Zoë’s. The face behind the hair turned.
“Ow-squared!” Portia yelped as Morning’s feet delivered a combination.
“Zoë’s with Rachel!” he exclaimed.
“Yeah, I know. Can we get to ’em before you turn my feet into chopped meat?”
Drawing closer, Morning saw that Zoë was wrapped in a bloodred gown. It clung so tight it gave her curves he hadn’t realized she had. Rachel was as beautiful as ever, even in a tux. “What’s the deal?” he asked Portia.
“They’ve been an item for weeks. So don’t embarrass me.” They swerved next to Rachel as she spun Zoë.
Zoë came out of the spin. “Hey, A.M.!” She grabbed Rachel’s waist. “Bet you didn’t think your fairy godmother was more
fairy
than godmother.” A hand flew to her mouth. “Oh, sorry!” she said, feigning shock. “Did I forget to introduce my date? This is Rachel Capilarus.”
Rachel played along, extending her hand. “Great to meet you, Morning. I heard you were once a vampire.”
Morning frowned. “I heard you were once straight.”
As Portia kicked Morning, Rachel shot him a smile. “Oh, I still am.…” Her tux seemed to shift and the next second, Morning and Portia were staring at a handsome male version of Rachel. Her-his voice dropped an octave as she-he slid Zoë a seductive look. “If we wanna go that way.”
“Isn’t that the coolest?” Zoë squealed as he-Rachel CDed back to she-Rachel.
Rachel finished her impressive stunt with a shudder. “Ooh, every time I go guy, I wanna take a shower.”
Portia and Zoë laughed. Morning just shook his head.
“The best part,” Zoë bubbled, “is if she gets carried away and wants to turn me, she can turn me once, she can turn me twice, she can turn me all she wants, but it’ll never stick ’cause I’m the girl who can’t be turned!”
Rachel threw an arm around Zoë’s shoulders, and they went into an eye-lock. “Which makes her my
unrequited
eternal beloved, which is the sexiest thing in the world.” She turned to Morning and Portia. “But that’s not why I fell head over stilettos for her.”
“Yeah,” Zoë cut in. “It was a meeting of the minds. I’m filled with more ideas for Earth Angel Productions than you can shake a stake at. Between the two of us, we’re gonna make Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg look like slackers.”
Rachel gave Zoë a solemn look. “It’s more than that, Zoo-Zoo. It was a meeting of funny bones.” She turned back to Morning and Portia. “I mean, have you seen her latest blood-obligate impression? Show ’em, Zoo.”
Zoë dropped down and hopped around Rachel’s feet like a wounded bird. Her thumbs were jammed in her armpits and she flapped her skinny arms like wings. “Mama Hen, Mama Hen,” she squeaked.
“Got it,” Morning grumbled. “She’s a dying chicken.”
“No,” Rachel squealed with laughter, “she’s a vampire bat! They find a hen with chicks, they flap around like one of the chicks, the hen falls for it, lets the vampire bat under its feathers with the other chicks, and the vampire bat scores some blood.”
“Mama Hen!” Zoë squeaked.
Rachel dropped to the floor, flapped her arms, and squeaked along with Zoë. “Mama Hen!”
Morning danced Portia away, leaving Rachel and Zoë rolling on the floor with limbs akimbo, laughing hysterically.
As they danced toward a darkened corner, Morning asked, “Aren’t you glad we don’t have their problems?”
“You mean of being total whack jobs?”
“No, of the whole Leaguer-Lifer thing.”
She took him in with a smile. “Yeah, but in a weird way things haven’t changed that much since so long ago on the Williams Bird Bridge.”
He stopped dancing. “Really? How so?”
“Well, we still might have only a couple of years together before it falls apart. I mean, I still don’t know where I’m going to college, and you’re a firefighter.”
“Maybe you’re right,” he said with a nod and a smile. “We’ll just have to do what mortals do. Take it day by day, minute by minute, kiss by kiss …”
Their mouths pushed closer as she whispered, “And if this is our last night on earth together?”
He whispered back, “We’ll just have to suck it up and die happy.”
Their lips met … and pillowed into perfection.
AMERICAN OUT DAY: October 4, the day Leaguer vampires in the U.S. came out, hoping to prove that vampires are just a minority with special needs.
BUREAU OF VAMPIRE AFFAIRS (BVA): The federal agency created to ensure Leaguer vampires don’t use their powers to gain unfair advantage over mortals.
CELL DIFFERENTIATION (CD): A vampire’s ability to transform into other creatures. Also known as shape-shifting.
CENTURION: A vampire who has been one for one hundred years.
CONSENSUAL BLOODLUST: A hookup between a mortal who wants to be a “blood donor” and a Leaguer seeking a nostalgic nip and sip of human neck.
DENTIS ERUPTUS:
The swelling of teeth into fangs.
EPIDEX: The underarmor invented by Leaguer scientists so vampires who CD and lose their clothes, then revert to human form, are not confused with nudists.
EXSANGUINATION: The act of bleeding or being bled.
FORBIDDEN WELL: The human reservoir of blood, five quarts per adult human.
IMPALE: International Mamas and Papas Against Leaguer Equality.
LEAGUER: A vampire who is over bloodlust and has vowed to keep his fangs out of the “forbidden well.”
LIFER: A mortal; an age-challenged human being.
LONER: A vampire who remains a “bloodsucking fiend” and considers quaffing humans part of his cultural heritage.
MILLENNIAL: A vampire who has stalked the earth for a thousand years and possesses super-vampire skills.
MORTALS ONLY PARTY (MOP): The organization dedicated to driving a stake through the “vampire agenda.”
PASSING THE DEUCE: A specific type of vampire bite that, via infection, turns the one bitten into a vampire.
PNEUMABROTUS:
Literally “the spirit of death”; the element in human DNA that controls aging, and, when reexpressed in a vampire’s DNA, retriggers mortality.
RE-MORTAL: A vampire who has resumed the aging process.
SANGUIVORE: A creature who survives on blood alone. Also called a “blood obligate.”
SELVA OBSCURA:
“Dark wood”; the bloodlusting, creature-of-the-night lifestyle Leaguers say they have emerged from.
VAMPIRE RIGHTS ACT (VRA): Legislation that grants Leaguer vampires their full rights as citizens and the chance to tap into the American dream.
A writer with a story to tell hurls himself into the sea of words in hopes of returning to shore with a new book in hand. Luckily, this writer did not swim alone. He splashed about with some wonderful mermaids and mermen who helped guide this story to Bookstore Beach.
My mermaids and mermen (and one mermonkey) included Gerri Brioso, Pierre Ford, Monkey, Jen Booth, and the Meehl trio of Holly, Kendall, and Cindy. A splashy thanks to all, plus a resounding conch-blast to the royal mermaids at Delacorte Press: Michelle Poploff, Rebecca Short, and Trish Parcell. Finally, this story would not be in your hands if it weren’t for the siren call of my agent, Sara Crowe. She lures me to the depths to be book-borne again.
Ex-Muppeteer and three-time Emmy winner for writing for children’s television Brian Meehl is thrilled to be immersed in his first great love: books.
Suck It Up and Die
is his fourth novel for youthful readers and the sequel to
Suck It Up
. Meehl has two beautiful daughters and is married to the documentary filmmaker Cindy Meehl. For more on Meehl, visit him at
brianmeehl.com
.
Find out how it all began.…
Turn the page to read the first chapter of
Suck It Up
IVLEAGUE.US
Website under construction.
Launch date to be announced.
Commencement“In the end is beginning.” Luther Birnam’s deep voice rained down from the high platform, charging the air above a wide semicircle of cadets. “In the beginning is end.” Standing in white graduation gowns, the handsome young men and beautiful young women blazed with pride. “Today, you end your life as a Loner, and begin your new life as a Leaguer!”
The cadets erupted in cheering applause.
The last student in the arcing line clapped with just enough enthusiasm not to be noticed. For the ten months Morning McCobb had attended Leaguer Academy, being invisible had been mission number one. It wasn’t easy. It never is when you’re the class freak.
At sixteen, Morning was younger and skinnier than his cookie-cutter classmates. While their gowns swelled over the bodies of hunks and hotties in their late teens and twenties, Morning’s robe hung from his bony shoulders
like it was still on the hanger. Even his hair was different. The male cadets had coifs that never moved from their last mirror check. The women had wavy manes that bounced to perfection. Morning’s hair resembled a patch of wheatgrass small animals had recently bedded down in.
As the cadets continued to whistle and fist-pump, Morning’s dark eyes scanned the line. They reminded him of dogs straining at their leashes. He wished he had the X-Men superpowers of Banshee. He would strafe the cadets with a sonic blast, stunning them into a hypnotic trance so Mr. Birnam could finish his speech.
Unfortunately, Birnam tossed them another bone. “Today ends your long night as prisoners of darkness, and begins your day as masters of light!”
The roar of approval was doubled by the throng of teachers and visitors jamming the grandstand. The sound bounced around the great cavern inside Leaguer Mountain like bottled thunder.
Adding his token applause, Morning realized the powers of Banshee weren’t enough. He needed the skills of the supervillain Dr. Chronos. Wielding his powers of time-compression, he could fast-forward the commencement to over. It wasn’t that Morning wasn’t excited about graduating. He was. The sooner he got out of Leaguer Mountain, the sooner his classmates would stop rubbing his face in the dismal truth. While they looked like perfectly chiseled Abercrombie models, no amount of pumping iron would ever make Morning buff. No surge of hormones would ever change his face from boyish to manly. He was stuck with peach fuzz and a body that was more stick-of-gum than stud. And there was nothing he could do about it. Ever.