Sudden Response (18 page)

He threw the ambulance into drive and headed back to base. The entire time neither spoke or so much as looked at the other.

By the time they reached the fire house his chest was tight and he felt sick.

How the hell did they get back to this point? He didn't want her mad at him. He wanted her safe and happy and he kept pissing

her off, but then again she was pissing him right the hell off so it was okay.

"A sshole," she muttered as she climbed out of the ambulance and slammed the door shut before she stormed inside, leaving

him sitting there feeling like the biggest asshole on earth and wonder why the hell it hurt so damn much when she was unhappy?

Chapter 19

"Jerk," she muttered as she pulled her boots off and threw them at the cement wall. It made her feel marginally better, but not by

much.

Hunting down Eric so that she could put him in a headlock would make her feel a hell of a lot better, she decided even as she

pulled off her uniform shirt, leaving her in a tight baby blue tank top.

She climbed into bed only to climb back out seconds later when she decided it was too damn hot and she was too damn

aggravated to try and sleep in her pants. Tonight she just wanted to sleep through the rest of her shift, go home and take her

anger out on cleaning her attic.

Twenty seconds after the light was shut off and she was curled up in bed and she felt like crying. She hated fighting with Eric,

absolutely hated it. There was a reason why she was so quick to forgive him, because staying mad at him hurt like hell.

She still remembered the time they were ten and she'd worked all day cleaning out Mrs. Pembroke's garage. A t the end of the

day she was dirty, tired, sweaty and five dollars richer. Excited that she finally had enough money for a new bike, well new to

her anyway, she ran all the way home.

Of course she hid her money in her shoe before she walked into the apartment she'd shared with her mother and her mother's

boyfriend of that week. A fter double checking that the coast was clear she dug the rest of her money out of an empty Comet can

she'd cut the bottom off and had hidden among the cleaning supplies, knowing it was the last place her mother would ever think

to look.

Once she had all of her money she raced out of the house and ran all the way to the church's thrift shop where she'd seen a used

pink bike with a slight touch of rust early that morning. When she spotted the bike still outside the thrift store she ran inside and

bought it without a second's hesitation.

She'd been so excited to have her own bike. She didn't care that the tires were flat and the chain was rusted, the bike was hers.

A fter deciding that Eric and Nathan just had to see her bike she pushed it to their house, placed the bike against the garage and

ran inside the house. She didn't stop searching until she found one of them. Without a word she dragged Nathan away from his

video game and back outside only to come to an abrupt halt when she didn't see her bike.

The horrible sound of metal being bent drew her attention to the garbage truck in front of the house and Eric walking towards

them. Her eyes darted from Eric to the truck, back to Eric before she launched herself at him. Ten minutes later A lice had them

each by the ear and demanded to know what happened. When she told her what Eric did his expression became pained.

Even at ten he thought it was his job to take care of her and it just about killed him to know that he'd done something to hurt her.

A fter he explained that he thought it was garbage his father had left against the garage for him to bring to the curb she forgave

him. She was still upset about the bike, but she just couldn't stay mad him, knowing how upset he was over the whole thing.

Of course Eric made it up to her. Three months later he banged on her apartment door, interrupting her peanut butter sandwich

dinner to drag her downstairs to show her the new bike he'd bought her. He'd saved up his allowance, done extra chores around

the house and even worked for the neighbors to save up the money to buy her a bike. It had been the sweetest and most

thoughtful thing anyone ever did for her.

It was things like that that made it so damn hard to be mad at him. He screwed up, a lot, but he always made it up to her. She

knew he never meant to hurt her even when he was being a pigheaded jerk like now. He wanted her safe and she was.

She was careful at work, followed her training and never took stupid chances, but that incident more than a week ago made him

nervous and now after twelve years on the job together he was letting his fear cause problems in their relationship. They

worked great together and she knew that all he needed was a little time before he realized that. Until then she'd have to resign

herself with him being an asshole.

When the door opened she tensed, waiting for the fight to continue. She didn't want to fight with him. She hated fighting with

him. A ll she wanted to do was go back to the way things were before he said those things that hurt her and before he kissed

her, robbing her of her sanity and made her wonder about things that she had no business even thinking about.

"Joe?" he said softly.

Instead of answering him she closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep. It was cowardly, she knew that, but she wasn't sure

how much more she could take. She was glad that he didn't insist on coming with her this week like he normally would have

done. They both needed some time apart to think about a few things. If things didn't change by the time she got back, meaning

they weren't able to go back to the way things were between them before they'd both messed up then she was going to ask for a

transfer to another station.

She laid there as she listened as he pulled his boots off. She thought about asking him to leave so that she could get some sleep

and avoid another argument, but instead she just laid there soaking up his presence. When she felt the bed dip and he curled his

body around her seconds later she felt like crying. She hated fighting with him, hated not being able to go to him with her

problems, and hated feeling like a part of her was dying.

"I am so sorry, Joe," he whispered, gently pushing her hair away from her face and neck. "I know I keep fucking up," he said,

pressing a kiss to her neck, "and that by all rights you should bitch slap me, but I can't stand the idea of you getting hurt."

His hand found its way to her panty clad hip and gave her a gentle squeeze. "It kills me to think of what could have happened

that night, Joe,"

he explained softly as he pressed another kiss to her neck. "Do you have any idea how lost I would be without you?"

"You're my entire world, Joe," he said, pressing another kiss to her neck, this time lingering. "I don't know what I'd do

without," he said against her skin.

Nibbling her lip, she turned onto her back and reached up with her right hand to cup his jaw, loving the way the stubble felt

against her hand.

"A nd what the hell do you think I'd do without you?" she demanded.

His large warm hand landed on her stomach, gently caressing her skin. "Everything would be okay. Nathan would watch out for

you and take care of you, Joe," he said soothingly as he pressed a warm kiss to her forehead.

"I don't need anyone to look out for me!" she snapped, sick of this constant babying. When exactly did she become a weak

needy woman in his eyes? It was really insulting. She was anything but weak and he damn well knew it.

He sighed heavily even as his hand continued to caress her stomach through her thin shirt. "Yes, you do."

"What the hell is it going to take for you to realize that I can take care of myself?" she demanded, trying not to sound hurt, but

probably failed miserably. She didn't want to appear weak and needy in his eyes. She wanted.......

Hell, she didn't even know what she wanted, but she knew she didn't want that. She didn't want him hanging around because he

thought that she needed a keeper.

"If I thought having a boyfriend in my life would get you to back off I'd run out and get one," she said, not noticing the way his

hand suddenly stilled on her stomach, "but we both know that wouldn't help since you become a complete jerk whenever I'm

dating someone."

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked tightly and she wished she could see his expression. This little news flash

really couldn't be a shock. Everyone knew that when she dated someone Eric developed a raging case of PMS.

"What am I talking about? A re you serious?" she asked, feeling a little muscle begin to tick in his jaw when he nodded firmly.

"How many of my ex-boyfriends have you beaten up?" she asked, arching an eyebrow, almost daring him to lie about it.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he grumbled, shifting to move away from her, but she wasn't having that. She turned

into him, pressing her hands to his bare chest and threw a leg over his hip as she moved up, giving him no choice but to lie on

his back as she straddled his waist.

She really couldn't help the smug little smile that played at her lips since she'd just proved that she was more than physically

capable of taking care of herself. He would just have to suck it-

"Hey!" she cried out in surprise as she suddenly found herself pushed onto her back with him situated between her legs and her

arms held down firmly by her head.

A fter a brief struggle that didn't improve her situation she gave up with a sigh. "Just know that I could kick your ass at any

moment, Eric.

You're lucky I'm tired."

His amused chuckle was kind of insulting even if she did find it soothing. "I know. I'm counting my blessings right now," he

said, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose as he settled himself more comfortably between her legs.

"Well?" she demanded, curious to see if he'd admit to being an overbearing jerk when she dated.

"Well, what?"

"You're not going to admit that you don't trust me to take care of myself and that you sure as hell don't trust any of the men I

bring into my life," she said, wondering if he was going to play it off like he usually did when she called him on it.

"You date assholes and losers," he said, shocking her. Not that she didn't realize that her taste in men sucked, but he usually just

shrugged it off like it was nothing. He'd never acted like he didn't like the guys she dated even when she knew for a fact that he

didn't like them. He always treated her boyfriends like they were his long lost friends, but as soon as it was over he gave her ex

the cold shoulder. She also knew that he'd given more than one of them a reason or two to visit the ER.

"Then why the hell do you act like you like them?"

"It makes it easier to keep an eye on you," he explained as he pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. "It's the same reason why

you pretend to like the annoying women I date, Joe. You don't want to be pushed off to the side," he said softly as he entwined

their fingers together.

"They really are annoying," she agreed on a sigh.

"I want you safe, Joe."

"I am safe," she said, biting back a groan. What the hell was it going to take for him to see that?

"I hate being away from you and I know if I keep pushing this that you're going to pull away from me so for now I'm going to

drop it, but I'm really hoping that you discover that you like dispatching more than working on the truck," he said, pressing a

gentle kiss to her lips that shocked her, but what shocked her even more was her reaction to the simple chaste kiss.

When he moved away from her, cursing softly, she leaned up and brushed her lips against his, unable to help herself. She knew

she shouldn't be doing this, but she couldn't help herself. Years of holding back, pretending that she didn't want him, need him

shattered with that first kiss last week and any hope of holding back what she felt for this man was gone.

This was probably going to wreck their relationship, but at the moment she didn't care. She needed to hold him, to touch him

and be with him more than she needed her next breath.

It wasn't fair that the one man she craved was the one she shouldn't be touching. He was her best friend, the person she counted

on, needed, and loved more than anyone on this earth and she was going to lose him over this.

His mouth crashed down on hers, forcing her head back onto the pillow as he devoured her mouth. When his tongue slid into

her mouth and tangled with hers she moaned. He released her hands as he kneeled between her legs, putting space between

their chests. She cupped the back of his neck to keep his mouth right where she wanted it, afraid that he was going to put a stop

to this madness.

He reached between them and grabbed the hem of her shirt and yanked it up hard along with her sports bra until both of breasts

were bared.

She let out a groan of pleasure when he cupped one of her breasts and gave it a gentle squeeze. When he ground his erection

against her she suckled his tongue.

She wrapped her arms around him, loving the combination of warm skin and solid muscle. Her hands slid down his back and

beneath the waist of his pants and onto smooth muscle that flexed erotically with each shallow thrust.

"We shouldn't be doing this," Eric said, panting as he moved his mouth to her neck the same time he reached between them to

pull her damp panties to the side. He brushed his fingers teasingly over her slit.