Suddenly Dirty (6 page)

“Okay, set it up, V, they will be a perfect addition to our team.” With that, Axel walks away leaving Christian and me talking to Vanessa.

“Don’t think I didn’t see you flirting with her Mr. Wyld,” Vanessa scolds me.

I try to pretend I don’t understand what she is talking about.

“Dude, no touching the employees; remember tour rules,” Christian adds.

Fuck, how could I forget? It will be torture traveling with her for three months, not being able to touch her. I need to get this crush under control before she arrives.

“Hands off Sienna if she joins the tour. You are as bad as him not being able to keep your dick in your pants,” Vanessa reprimands us both.

“Hey,” Christian pretends to be hurt.

“I know, I know, but she is hot,” was my only comeback.

Vanessa folds her arms over her chest not looking happy with my comment.

“It will make her day if I tell her that. But still hands off, understood?”

I nod. Yeah, I get it, she’s off limits.

“And Christian, please behave in Mexico, I don’t want to have to kick your ass when I get home.”

Christian crosses his heart.

Vanessa didn’t look convinced at all.

And with that she signs off.

Christian punches me in the arm. “Seriously, no touching Sienna, V is super protective of her – they are practically sisters. You can look but no touching, there’s plenty more willing women around.”

I nod in agreement, but I knew that promise would be hard to keep once she was here.

“That fucking bastard,” I yell, throwing the newspaper across the breakfast table shocking everyone around it with my outburst. Spread across the black and white pages were big bold letters screaming engagement. Photos of Beau and Diana, with their respective families dressed in formal attire, posing for the photographer. A close up picture of her ring attached to the article showing the large stone shining against her bony fingers. They had to twist the knife right where it hurts. Christmas and New Years’ spent by myself for the first time in 10 years. And Beau was spending it getting engaged to his mistress. Happy fucking New Year to me!

“Beau proposed in front of our families on the stroke of midnight during the Williams’ family annual New Year’s Eve ball. He declared his love in front of everyone that we know and admire. I can’t wait to marry him and plan our future together, one we missed out on having for such a long time. I can’t wait to become Mrs. Williams and start a family with the man I love.”

Derrick starts gagging after reading the quote from Diana. “What a bitch, she just had to have a dig at you didn’t she?”

“You were always too good for that man,” Dad adds, before taking another bite of his blueberry oatmeal waffles.

I love that dad is a celebrated vegan chef, but sometimes I wish we could just have bacon for breakfast. Today definitely calls for bacon.

“You can stay here for as long as you like, sweetheart.” Mum smiles across the table at me. “You don’t have to go back just yet if you don’t want to, dear.” I know she wants to keep me here a little longer because over the years I’ve been so busy with my business I haven’t had much time to hang out with her, and this break has been good for us to catch up again.

We are heading back to Sydney today and in all honesty I want to stay stuck up here on the mountain where I can enjoy the bliss. Instead, I am going to be hit by a media tsunami after the bombshell Beau dropped. “I know Mum, but Derrick and I have to get home to pack so we can join Vanessa in LA.”

Vanessa returned to the US to get ready for the band’s tour of Europe. It was hard saying goodbye to her but we were going to see each other soon. After surprising me with a private Dirty Texas concert, she offered Derrick and myself jobs as the band’s newest stylists. It took us 2.5 seconds to say yes to her offer. Getting away from Sydney is exactly what I needed to do. There’s nothing left for me there anymore, and now Beau’s engagement announcement makes moving from Sydney that much easier.

“I’m just going to miss you so much Sisi,” she says, looking a little teary eyed which breaks my heart.

“And I’m going to miss you as well, Derrick.” She adds, giving him a smile.

Mum and Dad adopted Derrick when I first brought him home; learning that his parents wanted nothing to do with him when he came out of the closet. They could never understand how Derrick’s parents could turn their backs on their son like that. So they declared he was theirs from that day on and Derrick has been a part of the family ever since.

“Don’t say that, I’m going to miss you too. Fuck, you’re going to make me cry into my muesli.” Derrick blubbers, making us all laugh.

***

I got a message from Beau asking me to visit the house to make sure I have everything. Now he’s engaged I’m guessing Diana wants to move in and she probably wants everything of mine gone. The thought of that woman living in my home makes my stomach heave, but I have to move on, that was my old life.

Pulling up to the front door of my old home was surreal, seeing Beau waiting for me dressed in his casual uniform of navy polo, white shorts and boat shoes like he’d just stepped off some pleasure craft made my stomach flutter – like nothing ever happened between us. Welcoming me with a smile on his face, I wanted to dick punch him as soon as I stepped out of my car.

“Sisi.” Beau called out to me happily. I could hear the warmth in his voice. We stood there for a moment not knowing how to proceed now we were strangers.

“Guess congratulations are in order,” I say, breaking the silence.

Beau flinches at my tone.

“Yeah, thanks,” he replies.

I push past him and Beau’s scent hits my nose reminding me of a time when we were happy together. The ache in my heart I have been trying to heal crashes open again. Deep breaths Sienna, you can do this.

“You finished already? That was quick.” Beau smiles.

Every last trace of my presence has been wiped clean from the home. Walking down the stairs slowly towards him I reply with disdain.

“You should be happy; there’s nothing left of me here.”

Beau frowns at my words, stopping me at the bottom of the stairs.

We were eye to eye his hand brushes my cheek, I can see a million emotions cross his face. I hate the way my body is responding to his touch as I naturally lean into him before correcting myself.

“I’m not happy about any of this.” Regret flashes across his face.

“Beau.” His name comes out as a whisper as I try and push him away but he doesn’t move. My heart is racing, he is too close to me; it’s been too long since we have been this close to one another.

“I’m sorry, Sienna.” Then his lips are on mine in the briefest of kisses.

Pushing him hard enough to unbalance him, he falls off the last step. “No, Beau. You don’t get to do that to me.” My heart is pounding out of my chest as I head towards the door needing to get away from his presence.

“Baby, wait.” Beau calls after me.

Stopping for a moment, I turn around and slap him hard across the face. “I am not your baby anymore. You don’t get to say you are sorry and kiss me like that. You’re engaged to another woman,” I shout, breathing hard as the adrenaline kicks in.

Beau rubs the red fingerprints on his face. “So, this is it, Sienna. This is how we will end things?”

I’m shocked by his tone; he doesn’t get to be angry at me. “You did this, Beau, not me. I thought we were happy. You were the one who wanted to fuck around with Diana. You, not me, remember that, Beau. Now you’re engaged to someone else. You,” I yell, emphasizing my words as I poke his chest. Tears begin to run down my cheeks. He doesn’t deserve them, not anymore.

“Don’t you think I know that, Sienna. Every day I think about what I have done and wish I could turn back time. It has always been you; it will always be you,” He whispers, while dragging his hand through his blonde hair.

“Your words mean nothing anymore, Beau,” I cry out, walking towards the front door.

His hands are around my waist pulling me back into him. His mouth near my ear. “I love you, Sienna. I will always love you. I am so sorry I hurt you.”

My heart stops. “Don’t Beau, please don’t, it’s too late for those words now.”

Turning me in his arms so we are face to face, he whispers, “I fucked up, Sienna. I’ve lost the best thing that ever happened to me. Believe me, when I say I didn’t have a choice. I made a mistake with Diana, one I couldn’t walk away from.” I can see the tears forming in his eyes. “I don’t know how to tell you this.”

My stomach drops, it can’t be anything good.

“Diana’s pregnant.”

My world spun by his confession; I stumble in his arms.

“My parents made me choose her because of the baby. Dad’s exact words were:
no Williams’ heir will be a bastard
.”

I can’t breathe; I’m suffocating under the weight of this news.

“I wish she had never come into my life. I wish it were you having my baby.”

My stomach lurches and jolts at his words. My hand twitches, I wanted to slap him again; anger flows through my veins. “Stop, Beau, just stop,” I shout at him, taking a deep breath and straightening myself, this was the time to pull up those big girl panties. “I wish you and Diana all the best with your new family. I’m sure your parents are delighted with this news.”

“Sienna,” he breathes out, tears running down his cheeks.

“I’m moving overseas; I can’t stay here and watch this.”

“You’re leaving Sydney?” He queries, as his face pales.

“Vanessa offered me a job in LA.”

I could see the distress on his face. “When … when are you leaving?”

“Soon, I want a fresh start, Beau. I will not get it here.”

He took in a deep breath. “I fucked everything up, Si. My whole life is fucked.” He cried, letting out a heart aching sob.

“Yeah you did, and now you have to deal with those consequences because you are bringing a child into this world, Beau. You will make a great dad,” I encouraged, as I walked away from him, reaching for the door knob.

“Good luck, Beau.” It’s the last thing I say to my partner of a decade, slipping out the door of my home for the very last time.

Ever since Vanessa offered Sienna a job a couple of months ago, I have been anticipating her arrival. I have been slamming back beer after beer trying to bury the anxiety brewing inside of me. Knowing she’s arrived and is currently at Vanessa’s catching up with her is driving me mad. I’m a fucking mess, but thank fuck none of the boys realize this. Just another Friday night out with the boys at The California Bros.; our local bar. Normally I have better self-control when drinking, but tonight I’ve gotten wasted trying to put the thoughts of Sienna out of my mind.

“You alright, man?” Christian asks as we bundle into the SUV early in the morning heading back to his house. Usually, I crash at my brother’s house in Malibu when I’m in town but I’ve asked to stay at Chris’s hoping to run into Sienna in the morning. Fuck, I’m a sad bastard.

I shrugged at him, because there was no answer to Chris’s question. I couldn’t tell anyone about the thoughts in my head.

“Feeling old, man? Can’t drink like you used to?” Christian teases.

Like the fucker can talk, he turns 30 next year. Acting like a grown up I punch him in the balls and laugh as he squeals in pain.