Her legs weakening, she slid her hands under his T-shirt, running her fingers across the strong, supple muscles of his back. He lifted his head to remove his T-shirt. She pulled off her bra and moved into his embrace, loving the feel of the fine hairs of his chest brushing across her breasts.
He kissed her again, his finger reaching for the snap on her jeans. She returned the favor, wanting him completely naked, skin to skin, mouth to mouth, no barriers between them.
Stumbling out of their jeans, they made it to the living room couch. Jenna fell back against the soft cushions as Reid came down on top of her, his hand palming her breast, his lips running across her jawline, his leg separating her thighs. She ran her hand along his bicep, cupping the back of his head as she pulled his mouth back to hers.
“We’ve got to slow down,” Reid muttered.
“Not this time,” she said.
Desire flared in his eyes, and he ripped open the condom he snagged from his jeans. She helped him slide it on, and then he was moving on top of her, inside of her—everywhere she wanted him to be.
Reid stared at the shadows that danced off the living room wall, the moonlight coming through a slit in the curtains. His heart had yet to go back to an even beat, but that might have something to do with Jenna’s sweet, naked body in his arms. He pulled the afghan off the back of the couch, covering them both. Jenna’s cheek rested against his chest. She could probably hear the pounding of his heart. She had one leg thrown over his and one arm around his waist, as if she didn’t intend to let him up any time soon.
He’d imagined making love to Jenna since he’d first met her, but the real thing had been better than any dream. Her understated appearance hid a passionate nature, a generous lover, a caring heart. He never should have let her get this close. She made him want things he couldn’t have. She made him want to believe in possibilities, in a future, but there was no future for the two of them. Was there?
She stirred and he tightened his arm around her. He wasn’t ready to let her go yet, either.
Jenna lifted her head and gave him a thoughtful smile. “I can hear you thinking. And the answer is no, it wasn’t a mistake.”
“That wasn’t what I was thinking.”
“Yes, it was.” She pressed a kiss to his chest.
He smiled. “Okay, maybe.”
“I’m not expecting anything.”
“That’s good, because I don’t have anything to offer.”
“You sell yourself short,” she murmured, her eyes filling with tender concern.
Her words echoed what Allison had said to him so many times. But Allison had been wrong, and so was Jenna. He’d once believed that things could work out. Every time he’d gone to a new foster home, he’d thought that it would be the one, that he’d have a family again. But it had never happened. He wasn’t destined to belong to anyone.
“It was just sex.” He wanted to make it abundantly clear where they stood. He knew the statement would annoy her; with any luck she’d get pissed enough to throw him out.
His words only seemed to amuse her. “Nice try. I’ve had ‘just sex.’ That wasn’t it.”
He shrugged. “So I’m good. It doesn’t mean anything.”
She made a little face at him. “Okay, so you don’t sell yourself short in
every
area—just where affection is concerned.”
“I don’t believe you ever had ‘just sex.’ You’re not the type.”
“He was another musician, a violinist. Let’s just say he was better with an actual instrument.”
Reid grinned and ran a hand through her hair. He didn’t want to like her so much, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. Her unpretentiousness was very likable. “What about other guys?”
“There have been a few, but I don’t have a long scorecard. I never had time for relationships. What about you? Any serious romances in your life?”
“You know, this is my least favorite part of the after-sex moments,” he said.
She laughed. “You gotta take the bad with the good.”
“You already reached your limit on questions.”
“Fine—I know the answer anyway. You don’t do serious. And for the most part I don’t do casual sex, but this doesn’t feel casual. Don’t get all freaked out on me,” she hastily warned. “I went into this with my eyes open. I have no regrets.”
He frowned. No matter what she said, he suspected she would still want more than he could give her. But he didn’t want to talk about it anymore, so he cupped the back of her neck and pulled her in for another kiss.
A shrill scream rent the air. Jenna jumped, taking the blanket with her as she stumbled to her feet. Lexie screamed again, a sound of pure terror.
“Wait!” Reid said as Jenna ran, but she didn’t pay him any attention. He grabbed his jeans, hopping
into them as he ran, wishing Jenna had waited two seconds. There could be someone in Lexie’s room.
When he got to the door he saw Lexie thrashing in bed, fighting with the covers as if she were battling an impossibly strong assailant. She alternated between screaming and sobbing, her face dark red, sweat matting her hair against her head.
Jenna grabbed Lexie in her arms and held on tight. Pressing Lexie’s head against her breast, Jenna said, “It’s okay, honey. You’re safe. I’m here. No one can hurt you.”
Lexie’s fear was so at odds with her usual personality that Reid had almost forgotten what she’d been through. Now he could see the trauma written all over her terrified face. During the day she could distract herself with friends and fun, but in the dark her nightmares caught up to her. Lexie’s father had damaged her for life, and he needed to pay for what he’d done, how he’d destroyed his family.
Jenna held on to Lexie, murmuring soothing words over and over as the two of them rocked in the middle of the bed. There was love on Jenna’s face, and a determination that made his gut clench. Jenna was something else—warrior mom, loyal sister, incredible friend—maybe she was the one who sold herself short.
She deserved better than him.
The thought rocketed through his head.
Turning, he went back down the hall and finished dressing. He gathered Jenna’s clothes together and took them into her bedroom. She appeared in
the doorway a moment later, the afghan still wrapped around her.
“You’re leaving,” she said, disappointment in her dark blue eyes.
“I’m sure you don’t want me here when Lexie wakes up in the morning.” He had to clench his fists to stop himself from reaching out for her.
“Lexie won’t be up before eight, maybe later,” Jenna said softly. “You really don’t have to leave now.”
“Does that happen a lot—the nightmares?” he asked, changing the subject.
Jenna nodded, drawing the blanket more tightly around her. “They’re better now, usually no more than once a night. In the beginning she slept with me constantly, but eventually I got her into her own room, thinking that we needed to live a more normal life so she wouldn’t feel so afraid. Maybe it was a mistake.”
“You have good instincts, Jenna. Don’t second-guess them. Lexie loves you. She trusts you completely.”
“I love her, too, as if she were my own.” Her blue eyes held his gaze. “Reid, do you really want to go?”
Want to go? Hell, no. Have to, absolutely
. “I think I should—unless you’re afraid to be here alone?” For a moment he hoped she would say she was, giving him a legitimate reason to spend the rest of the night with her.
Her look didn’t waver. “I’ve been alone the past two months. I didn’t ask you to stay tonight because
I wanted a bodyguard. I wanted you.”
Her words made his gut clench. “I wanted you, too. I just don’t do the overnight thing. It’s less complicated.”
“And you’re a man who likes things simple. Then you should leave. I’ll lock the door after you.”
Now that she’d told him go, perversely, he wanted to stay. “I told you I can’t give you what you want.”
“No, you’re afraid to take what you want. This isn’t about me. It’s about you.”
It terrified him that she could read him so easily.
“You’ve put your heart on the line before and got it stomped on. I get that,” Jenna said. “You have to leave first because you can’t get left again.” She tucked her hair behind her ear, her eyes filled with understanding. “And while I’d like to say that I’d never walk out on you, I’m not in a position to make that promise. I don’t know what direction my life will go. I have to put Lexie first, whatever that entails. So you’re right, simpler is better. Good night, Reid.” She kissed him on the mouth, a sweet, tender kiss that felt more like good-bye than good night.
Reid’s stomach churned. There were a lot of things he wanted to say to her, but he couldn’t get one single word out. She followed him to the front door, and as he stepped onto the porch, she shut the door and turned the deadbolt. Exactly as he’d wanted.
You’re a complete idiot, Reid.
Allison’s voice rang through his head.
“I know,” he muttered as he walked down the path. “I know.”
Jenna’s telephone rang early Sunday morning. She grabbed for it, disoriented. She’d gotten very little sleep after Reid left, reliving everything that had passed between them. “Hello?”
“Jenna, it’s Kara Lynch. I’m sorry if I woke you, but I have a problem.”
Jenna sat up in bed, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She glanced at the clock. It was a little before eight. “What’s up?”
“Our piano player at the church is ill. The new minister is giving the service at ten a.m. and we don’t want him to have to do it without music.”
Jenna’s stomach clenched. She didn’t want to play in public. Giving lessons was one thing; playing for a congregation was another. “I doubt I would know the music,” she prevaricated.
“Everyone says you’re a fabulous teacher. I’m sure these songs would be easy for you to play. Or you could play what you know. It’s just this one time,” Kara pleaded.
Jenna had a feeling she was fighting a losing battle, but she made another attempt to beg off. “I have Lexie.”
“Bring her along. She’ll like it. There’s a lunch afterwards to welcome the new minister. He’s actually a guy I went to school with—Andrew Schilling. I can hardly believe he’s a minister, but that’s another story. Just get here by nine forty-five, so
they can show you what to do. We all really, really appreciate this.”
Jenna opened her mouth to protest, but Kara had already hung up. If she called Kara back and refused to play, she would draw more interest than if she just went and played.
She could do it. She could play a couple of easy songs. No one would suspect that she was more than a simple piano teacher.
Lexie came into the bedroom and jumped on the bed with a big grin, her nightmare long forgotten. In her hand was a dollar bill, the one Jenna had slipped under her pillow the night before. She’d almost forgotten, but after Reid had left she’d gone back into Lexie’s room to check on her and remembered the tooth.
“Look what I got,” Lexie said with delight as she waved the dollar bill. “The tooth fairy came after all!”
Jenna smiled. “I told you.”
“Maybe the tooth fairy is Mr. Tanner. He was in my room last night. I like him,” Lexie declared. “He’s nice. And he reads stories really good.”
“I like him, too,” Jenna said with a small sigh.
“Who was on the phone?”
“Mrs. Lynch. They want me to play the piano at church today.”
“We’re going to church?” Lexie asked, sounding excited. “You said we couldn’t go to church.”
Because she’d wanted to avoid getting more in
volved with the town, but that seemed to be impossible. “Well, we’ll make an exception.” She’d made a lot of exceptions in the past few days. She hoped this one wouldn’t land her in any more trouble.
Reid stared out at the ocean, watching the waves crash along the rocky shoreline. It was a beautiful sunny day, the blue sky filled with promise. He would have preferred dark and stormy to suit his mood. He’d been an absolute idiot last night, afraid to spend the night with a woman he actually cared about, one with whom he could have shared a lot more incredible sex.
He’d never met a woman who was so clear about her intentions, her expectations, her own actions. It should have made things easier to have everything out on the table, but he wasn’t used to such honesty. He also wasn’t comfortable being with someone who was a giver. Most people were users, out to get whatever they could. In his experience, children had been an expendable commodity. But Jenna had given up her life for Lexie, a child who wasn’t her own. She’d jumped into the bay to save a stranger. She was far too good for him.
He grabbed a beer bottle and thrust it into one of two large trash bags he was carrying along the beach, one for recyclables and the other for garbage. Roger and Bill Harlan were also sweeping the beach per their ordered community service. Roger had two of his boys with him, nine-year-old twins
who took turns throwing a stick into the water so their dog could chase it.
In the light of day, stone cold sober, the Harlan brothers were family men and not the assholes Reid imagined. Bill had even apologized for shoving him. Reid had offered an apology in return. He knew he’d taken some of his anger and frustration out on them. Bill might have thrown the first punch, but he’d been eager to hit back.
Reid looked up at the sound of a whistle. Joe Silveira was ambling across the beach with a golden retriever. Joe had on jeans and a T-shirt. He gave Reid a nod as he threw a tennis ball to his dog. The golden retriever took off after the ball, but got sidetracked by the Harlans’ dog, and the two of them wound up chasing each other into the sea.
“Looks like you’re about done here,” Joe said as he joined Reid.
“It wasn’t bad.”
“The locals take care of the beach. There’s a lot of town pride around here.”
“I’ve noticed. Nice dog,” he added as the golden retriever came charging back, shaking seawater all over both of them.
“Rufus has turned out to be quite a pal. He was my uncle’s dog. He came with the house I inherited.”
Reid had always wanted a dog, but he’d never lived anywhere a dog would be happy. His apartment in D.C. was on the twelfth floor. He couldn’t see taking a dog up and down in an elevator. His lifestyle didn’t suit pets, women, or children, he thought with a sigh.
“You and the Harlan brothers getting along?” Joe asked.
“They’re fine.”
“Yeah.” Joe leaned over to grab the tennis ball. He threw it down the beach and the dog took off at a sprint. “So how long you think you’ll be in town?”
“Don’t know yet.”
“Nothing much happening out on the cliff these days. No new markings since three days ago. Too many people around, I suspect.”
“You think there’s someone actually getting to that rock face and carving lines into it?” Reid asked.
“I don’t know how, but I don’t believe in angels. So there has to be some other, more human explanation.”
“I’d sure love to hear it.”
“So would I.” Joe tilted his head as he gave Reid a thoughtful look. “You and Jenna Davies are getting to be good friends.”
Reid stiffened at Joe’s comment, which he knew was anything but casual. Joe had something on his mind.
“No one knows much about her,” Joe continued. “She has the gossips wondering, that’s for sure. I did a little checking, and I couldn’t find any information about her anywhere. It seemed a little odd.”