“Don’t you want to know what we’re doing?” Gavin was nervous. What if a weekend of sailing was too much for her? For the girls? Then he smiled. This was Hannah he was talking about. She could do anything.
“I figured you’d get around to telling me eventually. And maybe you wanted it to be a surprise.” She leaned back and sighed in contentment. “All I know is that I love sunshine, sand, and blue water. This is heaven to me.”
Feeling better instantly, Gavin reached over and laced his fingers through hers. He studied her hands. They were soft and smooth, carefully maintained. And it was obvious that they were completely unaccustomed to the kind of work he’d be expecting from them this weekend. Luckily, he packed gloves. Smiling, he opened the back pack on the floor in between his legs.
“So, Hannah, this is something of a working vacation.” He pulled out a length of rope. “And the work starts now. I’m going to need your help. I’m going to need your contribution. We’re going to have to be a team. And I’m the captain.”
Hannah saluted. “Aye aye, captain.” She took the piece of rope he passed her. “And what will I be doing with this?”
“Until we get to the boat, we’re going to practice knots.” Gavin beamed.
For him, this was something incredibly special. Not only did he have someone in his life that was encouraging him to follow his passions, to be his own man, but he was able to share it with her. This was his dream. More than the sailing even, he had always wanted someone to share his life with, someone to be his partner. And in Hannah, he had that. She just didn’t know it yet. He could never let her go. She didn’t know that yet either. But he didn’t need to rush things. They had all the time in the world. Gavin was more than patient to let these feelings develop over time. Oh, but this weekend…should help.
They parked in a gravel lot. Everyone eagerly stepped out of the vehicle.
Hannah took the girls over to the rest rooms while Gavin began to unload and talk to the driver. By the time she reached his side again, he had everything loaded in a cart that was overflowing.
“Is this everything?” She asked smiling.
“No, we still need to pick up a few items…food…water…that kind of thing.” He motioned for her to follow him down the dock to the boat he had secured.
They stopped in front of a large sailboat that had a ‘For Sale’ sign on it. That was the first time Hannah had cause to pause. Gavin noticed right away and urged her on. “Come on, Hannah! We can’t miss the tide.”
“I don’t know what that means.” She mumbled.
:Gavin laughed. “May you not have to find out.” He lifted the girls onto the boat and instructed them to sit out of the way and showed them right where that was. “Hannah, I need you down in the cabin so that I can pass you our supplies. Then I’ll show you how to secure the cabin before we set sail.”
If Hannah felt nervous, she didn’t show it. She faced this like she did everything else, shoulders back, head high, ready to take on anything she had to. She climbed onto the deck and barely had time to appreciate the shiny teak all over, before Gavin had urged her below deck. Instantly, she was glad he had. It was beautiful. There were forward and aft cabins, each with their own head, the galley was in the center with the dining area and salon. She couldn’t even imagine how much this would sell for; it was amazing. The counters were granite. The stove was a three burner gas stove. The oven was large enough to actually be functional. There was a marine fridge. It was more than she could ever have dreamed of.
The boat was loaded. Life jackets were worn by all. And soon enough the inboard motor was running and they were leaving the slip, heading to the open water.
The girls were busy exploring down below after being instructed not to take anything out of the cabinets.
“Why not?” Zoe asked. “We’ll be careful. We won’t break anything.”
Gavin laughed. “I don’t want anything to break you, silly.” Zoe and Rory exchanged quizzical looks. “If we suddenly hit rough water, anything that is out and loose can fly around and hurt someone. That’s why we put everything away.”
“Oh! Okay.” The girls spoke in unison then headed back down to the cabin.
“Do they always do that?” Gavin asked.
“No, not always.” Hannah was staring off at the perfect cloudless sky, the crystal clear waters. She could get lost in this moment. She closed her eyes and simply breathed in everything around her. It was all so…perfect. “So, are you thinking of buying this boat?” She asked Gavin, suddenly interested in the future.
“Not this one.” He thought for a moment. “Well, maybe this one.” I guess if I’m going to do everything I want to, I need a fleet.” He smiled at her, looking perfectly natural and at home behind the helm. He was wearing a hat and sunglasses. He had on a t-shirt and board shorts. And on his feet…no socks…just boat shoes.
For the first time, Hannah saw who he really could be. And this Gavin was so much more relaxed, at ease, and happy. Smiling came naturally for this Gavin. Laughter simply escaped him. His hands gestured as he spoke. He had lost all the rigidity and stiffness that the weight of his life had burdened him with.
A frightening thought came to her as she watched him. Gavin could have this life. This was the life he was meant for. And if he chose this, he wouldn’t need her. She swallowed hard at the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat. None of that mattered. She was here to help him and make him happy. Just look at all he had done for her. This was her way of giving back. And in the meantime, she was already saving up. She was already preparing for the end.
The sailing was everything Hannah had hoped it would be and more. That more, of course, was work. Sailing isn’t like being in a power boat. With power boats, one person steers and the rest sit back and enjoy the ride. With a sailboat, it’s all about constantly capturing the wind in the sail, and because of that, the main, the jib, constant movement, ducking and listening for Gavin’s warning for the sail to suddenly whip past.
By the time they had reached land, Hannah truly had no idea where they were. And because of that, she was shocked to discover that they had made it all the way to Nassau by the end of the day. The girls…were in heaven. They were getting to have all their favorites out of the cooler…grapes, and ham roll ups, and cheese and crackers. Sailing was a dream they never knew they had.
“We’re going to stay in this marina,” Gavin said. “I’ve been here before. It’s nice and quiet. The amenities are great. Everyone is friendly. There will be other families with kids for the girls.”
“Sure, whatever you think.” This was one scenario where Hannah would definitely defer to Gavin’s expertise. Even if he didn’t know kids, he knew sailing. And that’s what was required at the moment.
Hannah did the grilling on deck while Gavin hooked them up to shore power and secured the boat, added a few spring lines in case a storm rolled through overnight. He taught her how to coil the ropes on the dock for safety reasons. And the girls trailed after him like he was the Pied Piper. Hannah worried Gavin would be annoyed, but instead, he seemed to revel in the opportunity to teach them what he knew. And they were excited to learn.
Gradually, she felt a shift. The first time she noticed it was after dinner. The clean up was done. The girls had changed into bathing suits. The towels were hauled out. And everyone went swimming. The girls were sitting on the back of the boat reading to each other out of picture books. Hannah and Gavin were floating in the water when she was finally able to name it…that feeling.
“Relaxed.” She sighed.
“I’m glad. That was my intention. That was what I wanted for my life.” He sighed, but his wasn’t the sigh of contentment that Hannah had expelled. His spoke of disappointment, of a life that had been denied, of a dream that had been deferred for far too long.
“Have you considered a career change?” Hannah asked. She nearly held her breath while she waited for his response. This would be so telling.
He shrugged. “It may be too late.”
“Why is that?” She floated closer to him so she could hear every word he said. When Gavin was serious, when he spoke of what mattered to him, he dropped several decibels, making it difficult to hear him.
“I’m too old.”
“You are thirty-five.” Hannah laughed.
“I have too many responsibilities. I have a house. I have the business to run. I have you and the girls.” He stopped, afraid he had said too much. And he could tell he had hit a nerve.
“We aren’t your responsibility. This is a month to month contract, remember? You can give me notice any time. I’d understand for this. Who would want to give this up?” She circled him then stopped directly in front of him. “If you don’t choose this life, make it for the right reasons. Don’t let guilt hold you back.” Then she swam to the back of the boat, climbed the swim ladder, and ushered the girls to the head for a shower.
Was it guilt? Gavin wondered. Was he finding excuses because he was still seeking the approval he never had received in life from his father? That man was impossible to please. Was it something else? He leaned back in the water and stared at the incredible sunset. He didn’t want to lose her. If he could be sure, somehow, that she would be a part of this dream, he’d sell the house and move them down here in a heart beat. Maybe if he could get her to love this as much as he did… There had to be a way.
Hannah had tucked the girls in and met Gavin topside. He was waiting for her with a glass of wine and some
fresh fruit. She leaned back and stared up at the most perfect starry sky she had ever seen. It was almost surreal. “I could get used to this,” She murmured.
Gavin perked up. “Really?”
She laughed. “Yes, I love having you wait on me.” She winked at him and made herself comfortable on the built in fiberglass bench.
“Huh. I thought that maybe you meant sailing the Caribbean with me.” It was an incredibly important off hand comment. And he was afraid to admit how much her reaction meant to him. Because of that he ducked below deck and went to find them sweatshirts.
If his intention was to get her wondering, to confuse the situation and her, he had succeeded. Hannah didn’t know what to think. All she was certain of was that Gavin planned to share the same cabin with her for the remainder of the weekend. She was more than okay with that. She had decided while she was reading to the girls that she was going to live the next month with abandon. And then if he decided come summer to move, she would have many happy memories to tide her over for the rest of her life.
Maybe that’s why it happened. Maybe that’s why when he came and sat next to her, wrapped an arm around her shoulder…she leaned into him. She had only had half a glass of wine. She couldn’t blame that. And somehow she still felt free enough to bury her face in his neck. She could feel the stubble of his face against hers. His hand slid up and down her arm.
“Are you cold?” He murmured into her hair. He tousled it some before planting a kiss on her forehead.
All she could do was stare up at his eyes…and slowly shake her head. No, Hannah wasn’t cold in the least. At the moment, she was going up in flames. It took so little effort on his part to make her feel. She was very nearly ashamed. Hannah had never thought of herself as easy, but if he made the right moves then he would have more than a cuddle buddy in bed.
Gavin couldn’t stop touching her. He was testing. He knew it. He’d never had game. He’d never been the smooth guy with all the moves who could talk or trick any woman into bed. That wasn’t his style at all. He had always been more deliberate, more open. Only…Hannah was different. She deserved more, better…even better than he. Ah, but he wanted her…wanted her more than he had ever wanted a woman. He wanted something good and pure. Yet while he should have been overwhelmed with the pressure to do this right, he knew, just knew intrinsically that with Hannah it would be right.
He kissed her forehead. It was safe, sweet. Then he kissed the bridge of her nose and sucked that section between her eyes for just a moment. Her eyelids fluttered shut and her body responded. She was leaning into him, leaning closer and closer. He could tell that she didn’t want the contact to stop. He didn’t either.
Gavin stood and pulled her up with both hands. There was a hint of a question in her eyes, but he carefully kissed that away. He kissed her more deeply, their tongues intertwined in a way that was both fiery and completely natural all at the same time. Without thinking, Hannah’s hands found his face, his neck, his hair. She was pulling him impossibly close. Gavin lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist.