“How long do I have to think about it?” Hannah asked. “When would you need someone to start?”
“Well, obviously, you are our first choice. We could give you two weeks to think about it. We want someone in there running things full time within a month. Ever since the story ran, the foundation has been receiving serious donations every day. It’s huge! All because of you.”
“Okay.” She sighed. “I’ll let you know. I’ll give you an answer in two weeks.”
The timing was good. She would be headed back from the Caribbean by then. Hannah stopped pacing for a moment. She stared out at the lake, at the sailboat. She turned and saw Gavin watching her out of the window.
Why had she even said that she needed time to think about it? She wrapped her arms around her middle. Part of her hadn’t ruled out Gavin. Part of her still wanted to be with him. She had to make a choice. Part of her was going to be very disappointed.
They spent their last night at Gavin’s on the boat. They really had no other choice. It was that or sleep on a floor. Hannah loved the boat. It was cozy. And there was nothing better than being all cozy with those she loved.
It was the first time she and Gavin were forced to share a berth…and a bed. Somehow, they already anticipated the tension. They stayed topside for as long as possible. Gavin had a special bottle of wine for them to share. And though she might have thought better of it, this time she decided a little wine to take the edge off would be a great idea.
“This bottle of wine was a house warming gift,” Gavin said. “The plan was to open it on the one year anniversary of living here. Of course, by then
India and I were already having issues. By the second anniversary we were truly struggling. And before we could reach the third, well…we weren’t living together anymore.”
“I’m sorry you went through that, Gavin.” She reached over and grabbed his hand for just a moment.
He sighed. “It’s okay. I’m celebrating the move with the right person.” He poured the wine and lifted a glass. “Let’s toast to new adventures.”
They clinked wine glasses and each took a sip. Long after midnight they headed below to go to sleep. Somehow, this time was even more uncomfortable than the first night they ever shared a bed. Somehow, this time held far more importance.
They climbed into bed and lay on their backs. It was strange. In the past, they would have spooned. Hannah would have backed into him. Gavin would have thrown an arm around her. And within minutes, they would have fallen asleep…or started making out and having sex. Quite frankly, Gavin would have been comfortable with either outcome. Instead, it was this forced cohabitation and an unnatural space between them. After what seemed like an hour, Hannah’s breathing deepened and he knew she had fallen asleep. Gavin rolled onto his side, careful not to touch her. “God, Hannah. I
love
you. This is killing me. Having you close but not touching you is killing me. The thought that we may only have two weeks left together is killing me. The idea that I may be living thousands of miles away from you and an ocean apart…slow death. I don’t know how to do this. I want you with me, but…” He took a breath. “I want you happy, more. If it takes us being apart, then so be it. Because when you love someone, you put their needs before your own. I know that now. I get that. Life is different because I learned to love from you.”
He stayed there on his side, inches from her, as close as he dared without making actual contact and without the risk of waking her. And eventually, gradually by degree, he fell asleep.
Gavin was topside long before Hannah woke up. He wanted to see one last sunrise over Lake Norman. He wanted to see the sky change and come alive with color. It made his heart happy. And these next few weeks, he was going to have to be as happy as possible. Then maybe losing Hannah wouldn’t hurt so much.
Too soon it was time to wake Hannah and the girls.
Hannah woke up happy. She was waking up even before Gavin came down to rouse her. Today, she was feeling more herself. She had plenty of time to make her decision and she wasn’t going to let it ruin this trip. Who knew if she would ever make it to the Caribbean again? She was going to treasure every minute, make every moment special for Gavin, and celebrate his decision to start living.
When Gavin poked his head in, she smiled brightly at him. “I’m ready to get moving, chief. Don’t worry. We’ll be good to go within the hour.”
That was just the reassurance he needed. Not her words, but her smile. And with that they started getting ready.
Just over an hour later, the boat was loaded and heading down the highway. The driver had arrived and they were headed to
Charleston. And for the first time in days, Hannah and Gavin had nothing to do but talk. Even the night before, the move had hung over them. With that over, they could actually talk.
“It’s so good to see you happy,” Gavin said suddenly. “Life on the boat agrees with you.”
She nodded. There was more than a grain of truth in that statement. But it was time for her to be honest with him. She had never told him about the phone call the other day. “I do love life on the water.”
“Have you considered whether or not you could be happy living on a boat in the Caribbean?” The wondering and waiting was taking a toll on him. If he could get her thinking and deciding faster, then he would.
“Yes,” Hannah said quietly. “I’ve thought about it. And I have a tough decision to make.”
“Have you considered what you might do if you if you come back here?” He watched her for a reaction. If she had to go through the challenge of a job hunt, life with him might win out, too.
Swallowing, Hannah took a breath. “I have a job offer.” He sat back in the seat. He couldn’t hide his feelings, not from her. And she recognized his distress. She knew that in his mind the choice was between living with him on a boat in the Caribbean or living in the lake condo. Now he knew he was competing with a career option, too. “The foundation, the one that was created because of me, they offered me a job…running it.”
Her eyes sparkled. Gavin saw that. And suddenly his heart felt heavy. “Oh, I see.” She was considering it. She was excited at the prospect of a job with more challenges, a job that would ensure her independence.
The rest of the drive was quiet. Hannah knew it would be. The girls were so happy, so excited. And that was what kept the adults
from delving any deeper into that discussion. Hannah watched Gavin. She could almost feel his pain. She could almost feel his fear. And she realized what part of the problem was.
Life with Gavin was easy. Some would argue otherwise, but really, they meshed well. He listened to her. He was different with her. And somehow, as nice as it was, it was scary. Being alone, raising the girls by herself was safer. That was a bigger threat to life with Gavin than the career was. The career was just a means to an end, a way to never have to trust, to never have to depend on anyone. Suddenly, that made her sad. Maybe she wasn’t as tough and strong as she imagined herself to be. Maybe she was taking the easy way out instead of taking the risk with the bigger reward.
After what seemed like forever, they pulled into the Cooper River Marina. They already had loaded the boat with all the supplies. The plan was to board her and head out with the next high tide. While the comings and goings of a power boat were unaffected by the tides, the same could not be said of sailboats. The girls were excited. And Gavin was quiet and efficient. He was deep in thinking mode. He could sail with both eyes closed, but he had been distracted by Hannah’s news.
“What can I do?” She asked. “The girls are playing in the air conditioned cabin, thanks to shore power. Do we need to charge the batteries? Should I get more ice for the cooler? I know that we’ve already battened everything down.”
“Yeah, more ice,” Gavin said distractedly. He was making sure they had all the spare supplies…extra motor oil, replacement bulbs for the lights, spare fuses, plenty of rope, that kind of thing. He had a checklist. It was long. And time…was suddenly feeling shorter and shorter.
They left when they planned after working together like an experienced team. It was nice. It was just what Hannah liked, something that had always been missing from her marriage.
They relaxed under the shade of their new bimini and headed out of the marina.
For dinner, there were finger foods, the girls’ favorites. And that night, there was a stop in a marina in Georgia to recharge while they slept and restock in the morning. After plugging into shore power on day dock, the girls went to sleep for the night.
“Mommy, I think I like Georgia,” Zoe said.
“How can you tell? We’ve only been at the marina,” Rory said with an air of annoyance.
“I’m glad you are happy, little ones. Sleep well.” She kissed each girl and tucked them into the v-berth before heading topside.
Gavin had a new bottle of wine. He was just uncorking it as she slid onto the bench beside him. “Wine?” He asked, trying to be as pleasant as possible.
In the dark she had to ask, “Is it red or white?”
“White,” Gavin answered. “You know…because it goes best with fish.” He waited for a reaction.
Hannah chuckled and lightened the mood instantly. She reached for the glass he poured for her. “What shall we toast to?”
He thought for a moment. “How about two amazing weeks?”
“No,” she shook her head. His eyebrows rose. “Let’s toast to a wonderful new adventure.”
“Okay.” Their glasses clinked and soon Hannah had her head on his shoulder.
They had their heads leaned back enjoying the night sky. They had been quiet for some time. And while it was a comfortable silence, Hannah decided it was time to break it. “Listen, I’ve been thinking.” She felt Gavin stiffen. “And I think I’ve been thinking too much. I need to feel more and think less. I need to just be and do and enjoy. Can we try that? Can we try just letting life have a chance?” She looped her arm through his and ran her hand down until she found his. She grabbed it and squeezed.
While he couldn’t attest to what she really meant by any of it, all Gavin heard was that he had a chance. They had a chance. He squeezed her hand back. “I’d like that.”
When they went to bed for the night, they were more relaxed than the previous night. Still, Gavin was wary of rejection and kept allowing her make the first move, to determine the course of events. His heart was still hanging precariously in the balance. When it seemed like Hannah was going to stay on her back, Gavin rolled onto his side and faced away from her. Minutes later, he felt her shift, close the distance, and meld her tiny frame to his much larger one. She wrapped her arm around him and laid a hand on his chest.
“Haven’t you ever just wanted to be close to someone, Gavin?” She asked quietly. “Haven’t you ever just wanted to snuggle and have no strings, no expectations?”
He smiled as he remembered that first night. “In the past, yes, but now…I want strings. Lots and lots of strings.” He felt Hannah draw even closer, and smile against his back. He held her hand in his and soon they fell asleep.
When he woke, Gavin was relaxed and happy and…alone. Hannah and the girls were nowhere to be found. And as he replayed the previous night in his head, he decided not to worry. It was when he decided to check on Bitty at the office that he discovered where they had gone.
In a warm text message, Hannah announced that they had gone to check the tide charts and take showers up at the marina. They would be back to eat breakfast together. Before he could even ponder how long until their return, he heard them. The girls were carrying their bags; wet hair slicked back, just like their mother…only Hannah was also carrying a bag and a box from Dunkin Donuts.
“Gavin,” the girls squealed in delight and ran to the boat. “Look! Breakfast!”
“And we rode in a golf cart!” Zoe added.
“And Mommy said no Munchkins!” Rory complained.
“Well, I’m sure she had good reason,” Gavin said with a smile. He took the food from Hannah so she could help the girls and climb aboard.
“Of course,” Hannah said smoothly. “All I could see in my mind were Munchkins rolling all over the boat.” She gave the girls an eyebrow. “And we should leave in an hour,” she warned.
They were off, making incredible time.
And as much as Gavin enjoyed the sailing, he soon realized that he wanted the days to fly and the nights to linger. He wanted more than anything that alone time with Hannah, that time when she stopped being a mommy and could focus on being a friend and…a lover. Not soon enough, he had his wish. They stopped for the night in Key Largo. And once tied off and spring lined and plugged in to shore power, they explored the marina.