Summer Love (First Love Book 1) (7 page)

Marissa didn’t sleep well that night. When she woke up, she didn’t want to get out of bed. She was still lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, when she heard a knock on her door.

“Come in,” she said, not sure if she was ready to face her boyfriend.

Brayden entered her room and walked over and sat on the edge of the bed.

“If you are considering breaking up with him, I can’t say I blame you,” he told her, as if reading her thoughts. “He is actually expecting it. Just please, wait until the end of the day before you make up your mind. He wants to talk to you.”

“Lynn’s off work today,” she pointed out. “I can’t exactly disappear with him to talk without her noticing.”

“Yes, you can. She thinks the three of us are heading in to the water park in Minnesota, and that Melanie is keeping Anthony. In reality, I’ll be at Mel’s, but that gives you and Chad all day to yourselves. You just have to stay out of town until this evening,” Brayden explained.

“When did you all work this out?” she asked.

“Chad was a wreck last night. Neither of us got any sleep. He is convinced you think he is just some junkie and don’t want to be with him.”

“I honestly don’t know if I want to or not,” she admitted. Saying the words out loud scared her, but they were true.

“That’s okay,” Brayden said. “Just give him today.”

Marissa agreed to the plan. When Brayden left her room, she even put her bikini on under her jean shorts and tank top and grabbed her beach towel to make the story believable.

When she left her room, she noticed the boys were also dressed in swimming trunks. Melanie was there, packing Anthony and his bag into his stroller so Chad, Marissa, and Brayden could leave in the Firebird.

No one said a word as they drove to Chad’s old house to drop off Brayden. They pulled into the driveway just as Melanie had arrived with the stroller.

The car stayed silent as Chad and Marissa drove away. She lit a cigarette and rolled down the window.

Marissa looked over at her boyfriend as he drove. His knuckles of both hands were scabbed over and bruised. His pinkie on his right hand didn’t completely wrap around the steering wheel, leading Marissa to believe it was broken. His jaw still had a faint yellow bruise from the previous weekend. His eyes, looking more haunted now than when they first met, were swollen and red. He looked exhausted from not sleeping and worn out from crying all night.

Chad drove for forty-five minutes before turned off the highway. He remained silent until he pulled the car into a park. Once the car was off, he turned to her.

Before he could say anything, Marissa held out her hand, “Chris told me to give you one of these this morning,” she told him, revealing the pill in her hand.

Chad shook his head. “I don’t want it.”

“You have got to be hurting,” she argued, looking at his hands. “Is that finger broke?”

“It might be. Or it might just be dislocated. And yes, it hurts like hell, but I’m not going to take anything for it.” He reached out toward her. “I’m not turning to drugs anymore, and it’s not going to be easy. You saw how bad I was last night, just because I knew what was there. I know I scared you, and I’m sorry. I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am. I know it’s no excuse, but finding out my own brother was with my girlfriend was probably the most painful thing I ever had to deal with.”

“If he was with her, does that mean…”

“That Anthony might not even be mine,” Chad finished for her. “That’s the part that kills me. The fact that I will never really know.”

“Would it really matter?” she asked.

Chad was confused. “How could it not matter?”

“If for some reason, you found out that he wasn’t yours, would that really change how you feel about him? I’ve seen how you are with him. That little boy is your world. Yes, I’m sure he has made things difficult, but would you give that up?”

Chad was quiet for a moment. He lit a cigarette and stared out the window. “I guess you’re right,” he told her. “He has been mine since the day he was born, and nothing could change that. It doesn’t change the fact that my own brother completely betrayed me. Tamara never actually told Eric that he was mine when she called to tell us about Anthony, we had all just assumed he was. No one knew that Dravyn was with her too.”

Marissa reached out for him, but she was afraid to hurt him by touching his hands. She rested her hand on his knee. “He did that when he introduced you to the world of drugs,” she pointed out. “No one would want their little brother to become an addict.”

“You don’t want to feel, when all you feel is pain,” Chad told her. “I was able to escape the pain. As soon as Dravyn and Eric left home, everyone knew I was the new family screw up. Chris was always perfect. Melanie was the youngest and the only girl. The only thing I was ever any good at was wrestling. I was always getting into trouble, even for things that I didn’t do. My older brothers saw that and knew how I felt, because they were treated the same way. They gave me the escape that I needed.”

“Is Eric into all that as bad as Dravyn was?”

Chad nodded, sadly. “Not quite as bad, I guess. He doesn’t keep anything but beer in his house, but I’m sure there was probably some of his shit in that box that you took care of. I don’t even know what was in there. I just knew I had to get rid of it, because if I would have opened it, I probably would have done whatever there was, not caring about any of the consequences, just looking to escape how I was feeling.”

“Is that why you wanted me to come instead of Brayden?”

“You have never judged me for my past. But, honestly, it probably would have been better if it were him instead. He would have been able to jump in and stop me before Chris showed up.”

“I could have jumped in, but I didn’t,” Marissa pointed out. “I should have. Instead, I just stood there and did nothing.

“I’m glad you didn’t. I would never be able to forgive myself if I would have hurt you. If Brayden would have been with me last night, you never would have seen me that bad, but we would still be having this conversation. Honestly, I don’t know. It might be better that you saw that.” He reached out for her hand. “Better for you. It will make it easier for you to leave me.”

“I’m not leaving you.” Marissa didn’t know for sure until the words were already out of her mouth, and immediately, she realized they were true.

“You should,” Chad told her.

“So you can spiral back down that path?”

“So I don’t pull you down with me. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to get through all of this. I don’t know what will happen if the opportunity arises. I don’t want to go back to that, but I’m just really not a good person.”

“I think you are,” Marissa told him. “Sure you have caught a few bad breaks and made some really stupid decisions, but you also chose to change that.”

“I didn’t choose. I got caught,” he pointed out.

“And did you go straight back to it when you were released?”

“No,” Chad told her. “I was afraid of going back to jail. And then when Anthony came along, it was because he needed me.”

“So use that fear and love for Anthony when you find yourself losing it. If you get caught again, what happens to him? You are almost 18, so we’re not talking juvenile, you would go to jail. What would happen to Anthony then?”

“What if I want to stay clean to keep you?” he asked,

“Don’t do that,” Marissa commanded. “Don’t make me your reason. What if something happens and we break up? I don’t want you turning back.”

“I don’t want us to break up.”

Marissa smiled. “I don’t either, but what if the distance is too much for us to handle? What if you find someone closer to your age that doesn’t live so far away?”

“We will figure something out,” he assured her. “And I won’t find someone else. I’m going to go crazy not being able to see you every day. When are you going to the campground?”

“One week from today,” she whispered. “And I don’t want to go.”

“They are only doing what they think is best for you. I can understand Lynn not wanting you to get too close to me. But I’m glad you are.” He leaned in and kissed her.

When they separated, Chad got out of the car. He walked around to the passenger side and opened her door.

“Go for a walk with me,” he said, holding out his hand.

She took his hand, carefully avoiding the possibly broken finger, and stood up.

“Because that worked so well last night,” she reminded him.

“This will be better. I promise.”

Chad pulled a bag out from the trunk of the car and slung it over his shoulder as they followed a path into the woods. Chad eventually led her off the path, deeper into the woods. He took her to an opening in the trees with a single picnic table in the middle. Putting down the bag on the table, Chad began unpacking the picnic lunch he had brought.

“You knew I would forgive you, didn’t you?”

Chad shook his head. “I had no idea what was going on in your head. On one hand, I know it would be better for you if you didn’t, but for selfish reasons, I’m glad you did,” he told her. “I can buy you anything you ever wanted, but somehow I have a feeling it’s the little things that are going to impress you.”

Marissa smiled. He was right. She couldn’t stand people throwing money away for stupid reasons. Her mother’s solution to any problem was always to throw money at it. Never in a million years would she trade this sweet picnic in the woods for a large, expensive dinner at a fancy restaurant.

After lunch, they went for a walk by the lake. They talked about everything. Marissa learned that Chad wanted to get his grades up enough to get a wrestling scholarship at UW-Madison. She was thrilled to discover that he could be only an hour away from her the next year. He learned that she had been to five different schools before third grade. In third grade, she had met Melissa and told her mom that she refused to change schools again, no matter how much she hated the cliques in her small school.

Chad admitted that the scar on his cheek that Marissa had noticed the first day they met was from a fight when someone pulled a knife on him. She was concerned, but he assured her that it was a fight over drugs and wouldn’t happen again.

When they left the park, they drove around for a while before Chad stopped at a sprinkler park.

“If we go back home with your hair looking so perfect, your aunt will never buy the water park story,” Chad explained.

The couple spent the next forty-five minutes running through sprinklers. When they got back to the car, Chad turned to her.

“I really hate to ask this, but do you still have that Vicodin that I didn’t want earlier? Those sprinklers hurt like hell.”

Marissa looked down at his hands. They were bleeding again. She dug through her bag until she found the almost empty pill bottle and handed it to him.

“How many are in there?” he asked.

“Just one. Chris told me one in the morning and one at night, and not to keep more than one on me,” she explained.

“I’m changing that. Don’t give me more than one a day, and only if I really need it.”

Marissa nodded. Chad took the pill and began driving. An hour later, they were at Chad’s old house to pick up Brayden. Once they left, Melanie started walking the baby to their house.

The rest of the weekend was quiet. Chad struggled through the pain to get his physics work done. By Sunday night, all of his missing assignments were complete, and he was confident that he could pass his finals, which were starting the next day.

The week flew by. Marissa spent her days with Anthony and evenings with Chad, Brayden, and sometimes Melanie. Occasionally, even Chris would stop over and hang out. Without homework to work on, they were able to spend their time in the basement, watching movies or listening to music.

On Thursday, Marissa was in the basement with Anthony when Chad came home.

He ran towards her, lifting her into a hug. “You are amazing!” He kissed her. Before she could say anything, he handed her a piece of paper.

It was his report card. There was no grade lower than a B, and he even managed to get an A- in algebra.

“This is great!” she exclaimed. “We have to celebrate!”

“Just the two of us,” he told her. “It’s the last chance we will probably get. Now that school is over, that means you will be leaving,” he reminded her.

Melanie and Brayden agreed to watch Anthony while Marissa and Chad went to dinner. After dinner, they went for a walk by the lake. Marissa wanted the night to last forever, but eventually they had to go back home.

The next day was the first day of summer vacation for the boys, so they spent the day at the park; the boys playing football, and the girls sitting on the sidelines with Anthony.

“Hey Mel, take my place,” her brother Chris shouted as he jogged over to the girls.

“About damn time,” Melanie said, running to join the guys.

Chris leaned against the boulder. “Again, I just want to tell you how sorry I am. You have really been a great influence on my brother. I don’t think he had ever gotten an A before, especially not in math. I’m really glad he found someone like you.” He took a drink of water. “Has he been back to the cave at all?” Marissa shook her head. “That’s good. There is nothing left there, but just being there might set him off again. He’s going to have to face it eventually; it’s just not a good idea right now.” Without waiting for a reply, he ran back into the game.

Once Chris returned to the game, Chad took a break and ran over to Marissa. “Looks like my brother is coming around. I’m going to be so lost without you here all the time; I will drive out to the campground every day if you could get away.”

“I don’t spend much time in the camper when I’m there,” she told him. “When it’s nice out, I’m usually walking around, sitting at the playground. And we will come in to visit Lynn once in a while too.”

Brayden jogged over to the couple. “Get back in the game,” he told Chad, reaching for a bottle of water. “He is going to be so lost without you,” he told his cousin once Chad had ran off.

“I will be too,” she admitted.

“I’ll admit, I didn’t like it at first, but I’m glad you two are together. I don’t think I have ever seen him this happy.”

The afternoon continued the same way, someone always sitting out and talking to Marissa and rotating back in for someone else.

The sun was beginning to set when the game stopped. Some of the guys left the park, leaving Marissa, Chad, Anthony, Melanie, Brayden, and Chris. They crowded at the boulder, watching the sun set over the lake.

Not wanting the night to end, everyone decided to go back to Brayden’s house for the night. With Anthony asleep in Marissa’s room, the teenager’s blared music, danced, and talked all night.

Marissa was exhausted when Chad followed her to her room so he could bring Anthony down to bed.

“This might not happen again,” she said with tears in her eyes.

Chad put his semi-healed hands on her face. “Think of it as practice for the end of the summer. We will find a way to get through it.” When he kissed her that time, Marissa didn’t want it to ever end. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close.

He broke the kiss too soon for her, and she leaned in to kiss him again. He put his finger to her lips. “I can’t,” he told her. “You should get some sleep. I will see you tomorrow before you leave.” He picked up the sleeping baby and left the room.

Breathless and heart pounding, Marissa crawled into bed. She knew she shouldn’t be feeling the way she did so soon into the relationship, but she couldn’t help it. She fell asleep thinking about Chad.

Once Chad got Anthony settled in bed, he stood in front of an open window, smoking a cigarette, still breathless from the kiss.

“Something wrong?” Brayden asked.

“I don’t know,” Chad answered. “I think I’m falling in love with her.”

“And what’s wrong with that?”

“I’m terrified,” Chad admitted.

“It is definitely the scariest, but best feeling in the world,” his friend told him.

Chad ignored the fact that Brayden had just admitted he was in love with Melanie. “What if I do something to screw it up? What if I tell her, but she doesn’t feel the same way?” Chad was rambling.

“Calm down, bro,” Chris said as he approached. “We all know you love each other. We can see it. Just tell her.”

“I think you should wait a while,” Brayden argued. “Seriously, you guys have only been together, what, two weeks?”

Chad agreed with Brayden.
Has it only been two weeks?
he thought.
It seems like much longer.
So much had happened in those few short weeks.

Chris and Brayden went back to playing video games. Melanie was asleep on the couch. Chad grabbed a blanket and stretched out on the floor, where he drifted off to sleep.