“No.” David reached back to put his arm around Leigh and pull her up beside him. She felt stiff, unwilling, in spite of the smile plastered on her face. It took David by surprise to realize she was worried about Adrienne standing there in front of them, but hadn’t he told Leigh how much he loved her, how much he wanted to be married to her? He smiled at her to remind her of that, but her eyes were on Adrienne. He tightened his arm around her as he said, “This is Leigh Jacobson, soon to be Mrs. David Brooke.”
“How do you do,” Leigh said and held out her hand toward Adrienne.
“You’re kidding?” Adrienne said, not bothering to acknowledge Leigh’s greeting. “She looks almost as young as Tabitha.”
“DeeDee!” Tabitha said. “You’re one to talk about somebody being too young for you. What about Eddie?”
“Ah yes, dear sweet little Eddie. Vanished into Canada ahead of the draft. No Vietnam in his future.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t follow him north,” Tabitha said.
“Too cold up there.”
“In other words, he didn’t ask,” Tabitha said.
“There were complications.” Adrienne pulled Stephen Lee up closer to her and dropped a kiss on his cheek. The baby started screaming as if Adrienne had pinched him instead. She looked truly distressed as she let Tabitha take the baby from her arms.
“Sorry. He’ll hug you all day, but he’s not much on kisses.” Tabitha held the baby close and rubbed her hand up and down his back.
“Smart kid. You shouldn’t let just any strange woman kiss on you,” Adrienne said, but she looked sad as she dropped her hands down to her sides and pulled her eyes away from Stephen Lee. She glanced around the room. “Some things never change.”
“And some things do,” David said.
“Right. You’re getting married.” Adrienne looked at him with that smile again. “Am I invited?”
“The wedding isn’t until next Saturday.”
“Oh yeah. The shower’s today. Well, don’t let me make you late for the fun. It’ll take awhile to open all those dish towels and act happy and pleased. Been there. Done that. Don’t envy you a bit on that one. But I was driving through so I thought I’d stop in for a minute. Could be my minute is up.”
“You can’t leave already, DeeDee. You just got here.” Tabitha looked from Adrienne to David. “Tell her she can’t go yet, Dad. Please.”
David looked at Tabitha. Of course the girl would want to see her mother more than five minutes. And Adrienne had driven all the way across the country to see Tabitha. She could say she was just passing through, but Adrienne never did anything she didn’t want to do. He couldn’t exactly chase her away without giving them the chance to visit, even if that was what he wanted to do. He shut his eyes and said a quick prayer for wisdom, for charity, for understanding. Then he looked at Adrienne and said, “Maybe we should talk alone for a minute.”
“Just like old times. Your place or mine?” Adrienne smiled and raised her eyebrows as she peered at him. “Your bedroom or my car? Of course my car might be a little warm. Then again so might your bedroom. Too warm.”
David had never felt much colder in his life, but he wasn’t about to start playing games with Adrienne. “The back porch will do,” he said. “The rest of you finish getting ready. We’ll need to leave in a half hour.” David put his hand on Leigh’s arm and said, “Don’t worry, Leigh. It will be okay.”
She blinked and echoed him. “Okay.”
He wanted to put his arms around her and make sure she understood that he could never love anyone the way he loved her. That he had never loved anyone the way he loved her. And he needed to talk to Jocie too. She looked just as mixed-up as Leigh did. But first he had to find out why Adrienne was there. What she wanted. He led the way to the back porch and shut the door after Adrienne stepped down into the room.
“This hasn’t changed either,” Adrienne said. “It’s as if I left yesterday instead of years ago.”
“Jocie’s changed.”
“True. I barely recognized her when she opened the door. She didn’t want to let me in, you know.”
“Jocie has sort of had a rough year.”
“Yeah, haven’t we all?” Adrienne said.
That too was the same Adrienne. Not worrying about anybody’s trouble but her own. She’d certainly never spent any time worrying about Jocie. Or him. David made himself push that thought aside. That was past and gone. He didn’t care anymore what Adrienne did. He just wished she’d get in her car and drive away. He closed his eyes and tried not to pray that.
“Are you praying?” Adrienne asked. “I was always good at enriching your prayer life. Giving you something to pray about, wasn’t I? One of the Lord’s little unexpected blessings, I suppose.”
“What do you want, Adrienne?”
“Why do you think I want something?”
“You’re here.”
“I am, aren’t I? Actually I’m almost as surprised as you are. Not quite since I did deliberately turn north in Arkansas. I was headed to Florida. My mother’s still living down there, you know. In a cute little retirement trailer. At least she says it’s cute. Who knows with Mother? That probably means it’s got pink ruffles on all the curtains and a plush rug.” Adrienne seemed to be having trouble holding on to her smile. She looked away out the window. “I never liked ruffles, you know.”
“I remember.” But he didn’t want to remember. He wanted to forget everything about this woman standing in front of him. Even if she was sick. Even if she obviously needed help. Even if she was the mother of his daughters. He mashed down the resentment rising inside him and made himself tune into what the Lord might want him to do. The Lord didn’t say to be kind and caring to everybody except his ex-wife. Perhaps the Lord had turned her car toward Hollyhill for a purpose.
David pushed away thoughts of Leigh in the next room worrying about whether his love for her was strong enough. He pushed away thoughts of Jocie who had looked betrayed by this woman in front of him. Who
had
been betrayed by her. He pushed it all away. He was a man of God and this person in front of him was a child of God. It was that simple. And that hard.
He pulled in a deep breath and prayed without words. “Would you like me to pray for you?”
“A simple run-of-the-mill prayer won’t be much help. You’d have to pray for a miracle. My doctor says that’s what I have to have to make it to another year. A bona fide miracle.”
“What’s wrong with you?” He tried to care. He asked the Lord to help him care.
Adrienne licked her lips and then pushed out the word. “Cancer.”
“They couldn’t treat it?”
“Oh, they treated it. Sliced off my breast. Turned me into an invalid. Left a hideous scar.” Adrienne eyed him. “You want to see it?” She reached toward the buttons on her shirt.
“No.”
She dropped her hands and shrugged. “I just thought it might help your girlfriend out there not feel so threatened. I’m sure she has two beautiful, ample breasts.”
David’s voice turned cold. “We’re not talking about Leigh.”
“Sorry,” Adrienne said. “Just trying to be helpful.”
“I thought you were the one who needed help.”
Adrienne’s wicked smile disappeared. “All right, David. I’ll be straight with you. There’s no reason not to be. I didn’t come here to get you to pray for me. I’ve been past prayer too many years to expect your Lord to look on me with favor now.” She held up her hand to stop him from saying anything. “And I don’t want to hear about it never being too late. I didn’t come here to be preached at either. I came for one reason and one reason only. To see Stephen. Tabitha’s been sending me pictures.”
“I see.”
“No, you probably don’t. But that’s okay. You don’t have to understand. Just let me stay a couple of days. Let me play with the baby. Let me look into his eyes.”
“You never wanted to play with a baby before.”
“I was never dying before.” Adrienne looked straight at David. “It’s not a big thing. Just the gift of a couple of days out of your life. I realize it might not be the best time, but it’s the only time I have.” When David didn’t answer right away, she went on. “And I’ve given you gifts. You’ve said so yourself. Think of Jocie.”
“You didn’t want to.”
“But I did. She’s standing out there in the living room hating me, but loving you. I spent nine miserable months making that possible. All I’m asking now is a couple of days. Then I promise to disappear from your life forever. Finis.”
He had to let her. What else could he do? “That’s not the promise I want.”
“Oh? What promise do I have to make?”
“That you won’t tell Tabitha you’re dying.”
She stared at him a long minute before she shook her head sadly. “You’re afraid that will make her want to go with me. Poor David. You always did try to hang on to what can’t be held. Tabitha is an adult. She can go where and when she wants. You can’t hold on to her any more than you could hold on to me.”
“Just promise me.”
“All right. I promise.” She made a cross mark over her heart.
It probably wasn’t much of a promise, but it was the best he could hope for. Adrienne was right. He couldn’t hold on to what didn’t want to be held. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t pray the ones he loved would make good decisions and stay where they were loved and safe.
David looked at his watch as he went back into the living room. He’d tell Tabitha she could stay there with Adrienne if she wanted to, but the rest of them were going to have to move. It was almost time for them to meet Mr. and Mrs. Jacobson out at the highway. They were supposed to follow David and Leigh to the church. He didn’t want to add being late to their list of his faults.
The living room was too quiet when he came into it. There was no chatter. No smiles. No Leigh. “Where is Leigh?” he asked. “Did she go on to meet her parents?”
“I don’t think she was thinking about her parents when she left,” Jocie said. “I think she was thinking about her.” Jocie nodded her head toward Adrienne who had followed David back into the room.
David’s heart sank. “What did she say?”
“That some things were too good to be true,” Jocie said. “I followed her outside and told her to wait. To talk to you. I told her DeeDee being here wouldn’t make the first bit of difference. But she said she couldn’t talk. That she had to go.”
Adrienne’s car was blocking his in the driveway. “Move your car,” David ordered her.
“Sure. Just give me a minute,” Adrienne said. “Where did I set my purse?”
“I don’t have a minute.” David ran out to his car. He flattened two rosebushes going through the yard to get around Adrienne’s car, but Aunt Love would understand.
He drove like a maniac out the road. He had to catch Leigh. But then he realized he didn’t even know how long she’d been gone. How long had he talked to Adrienne? Too long. He got to the end of the road and didn’t know which way to turn. Right toward Hollyhill or left toward the parkway where Leigh was supposed to meet her parents.
He sat there without turning either way. He didn’t know what to do.
Oh, dear Lord. Help me. Bring her back to me.
T
ears dripped off Leigh’s cheeks as she drove back to Hollyhill. She kept seeing David and that woman, his first wife, stepping down into the porch. She kept seeing the door closing behind them, shutting her out. She couldn’t just stand there and act like everything was okay. Jocie had wanted her to. Had begged her to. But the tears had been building inside Leigh, and if she was going to cry, she wasn’t going to do it where that woman could see her.
And things weren’t okay. Even if David said they were. At least that’s what she thought he’d said. Her mind had been spinning so much the words might have come through to her wrong. Everything had been wrong. She had to get away where she could think things through. Figure out what to do. Where she could cry without anybody seeing.
She did. She no more than pulled out of David’s driveway than she started wailing. Just the way the Bible said the mourners did back in Bible times. In one of his sermons, David had said those women were professional mourners. It was their job to cry and wail and be in sorrow. What a terrible job, Leigh had thought at the time. To be a griever. That was what David’s sermon had been about. How some Christians seemed to want to be chronic grievers, always ready to see a slight, always seeing the dark side of every situation, always moaning and wailing that things weren’t fair.
But he hadn’t been preaching at her. Not then, but maybe he would be now. Still, this was different. It wasn’t fair that Adrienne had picked now, this very week, to show up after all these years. Leigh had reason to wail, didn’t she?
She angrily swiped the tears out of her eyes and mashed her mouth together. She’d never been a wailer. She’d always been a good girl. Always kept smiling when the kids at school made fun of her for being fat. Always kept smiling when her father stared at her with that puzzled frown as if wondering how a child so inept could be his child. Always kept smiling when her mother held her in her lap so long Leigh felt as if she might smother. Always kept smiling no matter what happened. Good girls smiled. Good girls didn’t misbehave. Good girls didn’t complain. Good girls certainly didn’t wail. Not even if they were watching every hope and dream they’d ever had pop like soap bubbles in the air.
She didn’t want to give up hope. In her mind she reached for the bubbles to gather them softly to her. She couldn’t let them all burst. What was life without hope? And who was the source of hope? Just two weeks ago her Sunday school class had a lesson about hope. Leigh had memorized the focal verse from Romans.
Now the God of hope fill you
with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope,
through the power of the Holy Ghost.
At the time she’d already been filled with joy and peace as she contemplated being Mrs. David Brooke. She had abounded in hope. Hope for her and David’s future. Had she given it up so easily? Was that what the Lord wanted? For her to just open her hands and turn loose of that hope? Surely if she could do that, the hope that had been in her heart had been shallow with no power. As easy to pop as those soap bubbles in her head. Not true hope.