Summer of Love (35 page)

She nodded. She couldn’t actually speak.

‘I knew you wouldn’t have slept with him unless you were. You’re not that sort of girl.’

She nodded again. He was so right. She wasn’t that sort of girl. And she’d slept with Gus again. But that was something Richard must never know. He didn’t need to. It was over between Gus and her, if it ever really had begun again. It was no good being in love with someone who couldn’t commit. They’d just break your heart over and over again.

‘So will you think about it? You and Rory coming to live with me? I’ll arrange it so I’m not away quite so much.’

‘I’ll think about it,’ she agreed. ‘Definitely.’ And she realised she meant it.

After they’d kissed goodnight in the car and Sian finally got to bed – Fiona had thankfully wanted to get straight off so there was no danger of a potentially awkward cup of tea with her where she might have asked questions Sian didn’t want to answer – she decided that whatever happened, if she went to live with Richard, he would never know she still loved Gus. He must never, ever feel second-best. And she would learn to love him properly, of course she would; how could she not?

Sian really wished she had someone she could talk things over with, but she didn’t have anyone locally she was close enough to. Jody was lovely and wouldn’t be judgemental, but this was heavy stuff and Sian didn’t feel she knew her that well. And maybe she would be horrified at the notion that Sian was considering moving in with a man she didn’t love, just because he loved her and had a large house and a swimming pool.

It wasn’t a terribly nice house, thought Sian objectively. It was probably worth millions but she didn’t really like it. Did this make her less of a gold-digger if she decided to live there?

Not really, she decided. It made her
more
of a gold-digger, because if she did agree to marry him, she’d ask him to move. Really, she was despicable!

But was she? Would she be? She’d play the role of wife with everything she had. She’d cook for him, make him custard, entertain his friends, sleep with him. She’d put on an Oscar performance if necessary. He need never know that she loved someone else, never guess. She’d make absolutely sure of it.

Sian made her decision sometime during the night. On the morning following her dinner with Richard she decided that going to live with him was the best thing she could do for herself and for Rory. And as they only had a month before they had to leave the house, she’d better get Richard and Rory better acquainted fast. So she invited him to dinner – only it would be tea really – with Rory, after school. It would all be perfectly natural.

Richard was delighted when she called to thank him for a wonderful evening and to invite him to tea that afternoon. She knew he was working from home today and wouldn’t mind dropping by. She didn’t actually say anything but he picked up that she wanted Rory to be there too. She didn’t mention his offer the night before. There’d be time enough for that.

Richard arrived promptly at five with a present for Rory.

‘I missed your first day at school, so here’s a belated happy-first-day-at-school present.’

It was a large box of Lego making it possible to build a fixed-wing helicopter. Rory was overwhelmed. He looked up at Richard with big eyes.

‘Richard, it’s amazing!’ said Sian, touched to see how well he’d chosen for Rory. ‘And I do hope you’ll be able to help Rory with it. I can’t follow plans – at least, not easily.’

‘Would you like me to help you with it?’ asked Richard.

Rory looked up at him and nodded. ‘Thank you,’ he whispered.

‘After we’ve eaten then,’ said Sian. ‘Richard, I hope you don’t mind eating so early.’

‘I’m happy to eat at any time, especially if it’s your cooking,’ he said, and patted her shoulder.

They were just eating their pudding, syrup sponge and custard, when there was a small noise and Gus appeared. ‘Hello! Anyone at home! Oh.’ He stopped abruptly. He had a jiffy bag under his arm.

No one moved for a few moments and then Sian lowered her spoon. ‘Hello, Gus. Richard’s here for tea,’ she said brightly as if it was the most natural thing in the world for the three of them to be cosily sitting down together at five thirty.

‘So I see,’ said Gus, apparently not at all pleased to see his old friend sitting next to his son.

‘Can I get you some? It’s syrup pudding. With custard.’

‘I don’t like custard.’

‘You don’t know what you’re missing,’ said Richard.

‘We have ice cream,’ said Rory helpfully.

‘Or would you like a cup of tea or something?’ said Sian, on her feet and feeling desperately uncomfortable.

‘Actually, I’d like a word with you, Sian. On your own if that’s possible,’ said Gus shortly.

‘We’re eating,’ said Sian, wishing that Gus would just go away and leave them in peace. She wasn’t ready to speak to him just yet.

‘I’ll wait.’

He waited, accepting nothing in the way of food or drink and looking as impatient as he could without actually drumming his fingers on the table.

Richard tried to engage him in conversation but Gus gave one-word answers and didn’t make any effort himself. He was behaving incredibly rudely but there was nothing she could do about it.

Eventually Sian said, ‘Why don’t you tell Gus what you’ve been up to, Rory?’

‘Oh! I’ve been at school! Richard brought me a happy-first-day-at-school present, a big Lego set. And he’s got a swimming pool!’

Sian knew it was just Rory chattering on and whilst she was pleased for Richard, she wished Rory hadn’t mentioned his present and his swimming pool; she could tell it had upset Gus.

‘And do you like school?’ Gus asked.

‘Oh yes!’

‘You got on OK?’

‘Yeah. Oh, and after our first day we went to Pizza Express with Annabelle and her brothers and Jody.’

‘I was there too,’ said Sian, to clarify.

‘What sort of pizza did you have?’ asked Gus.

‘Well, I had the one with …

While the men discussed pizza, Sian went back to her pudding. She ladled more syrup sponge on to Richard’s plate without asking, and handed him the custard.

‘Actually,’ he said, ‘could I be a nuisance and ask you to whack it in the mike for a couple of seconds? I don’t like cold custard.’ He smiled sheepishly and Sian instantly suppressed any irritation that might have been forming. Gus made no such attempt; he snorted, clearly annoyed at Richard’s presumption.

‘Oh!’ said Rory to Gus. ‘I saw you!’

‘When?’ asked Gus. ‘When did you see me?’ He was frowning.

‘When we had pizza. You were looking smart!’ There was just a hint that his father looking smart was a bit of a betrayal but Rory was generous enough not to make too much of it.

‘I’m still confused, mate,’ said Gus.

‘You were going into the cocktail bar opposite the pizza place,’ said Sian. ‘With Melissa.’ She really wished she could have avoided saying that, but the words emerged without consulting her wishes.

Gus looked startled. ‘I didn’t notice the pizza place.’

‘Why would you when the Boca Loca beckoned?’ Sian sipped her wine. It tasted horrid with her pudding but she had to stop herself sounding as if she cared. He hadn’t even had the grace to look guilty when she’d mentioned the wine bar.

Gus cleared his throat. ‘Sian, there is something I want to tell you, in private.’

Richard raised his eyebrows. ‘We’re still eating.’

Gus drew in a breath, but before he could say anything Sian intervened. She didn’t want to be private with Gus but she didn’t want a row in front of Rory either. ‘I’ve had enough,’ she said. ‘Why don’t you two finish up and make a start on the Lego?’

‘OK,’ said Richard. ‘We’ll clear up first though.’ He looked at Gus and smiled. ‘We’ve got a helicopter to build.’

Gus looked at the enormous box on the worktop. ‘I see.’

Sian felt a pang of sympathy. He was in no position to spend nearly a hundred pounds on a toy. She wasn’t herself. ‘Come on then. Let’s go through to the sitting room.’

‘You and Richard are very chummy all of a sudden,’ Gus said icily once Sian had closed the sitting-room door. ‘He’s invited you both to his house and bought Rory expensive presents?’

‘Rory didn’t go to dinner with Richard, I did that on my own. I told him about the pool.’

‘So you had dinner with him, did you? And it was just you and him, was it? And has he got a circular bed with black satin sheets?’

‘Gus what is this?’ Really, he was being absurd! ‘How dare you come here and interrogate me about Richard. What I do with my time is nothing to do with you.’

‘Since you ask, I am a bit confused.’ Gus’s eyes glittered with anger. ‘I came here to tell you something and it turns out that you’ve got news of your own! You saw Richard’s house and suddenly thought, What a nice chap! What a good provider he’ll be with his regular income and flashy car! Let’s get cosy with him!’

Sian flushed with anger. Who was he to accuse her after what he’d done! ‘Richard just came round for tea, that’s all. Anyway, I don’t think you’re in any position to question who I see!’

‘No? Even when the person you’re seeing might become
my
son’s stepfather?’

‘Now you’re being ridiculous. I would never stop you seeing Rory. You can have all the access you like—’

‘Oh, very generous of you!’

‘Actually, it is quite generous of me as you’ve proved yourself to be completely unreliable!’

‘Have I? How do you make that out?’ He glared at her.

Suddenly Sian couldn’t bring herself to talk about him and Melissa and how desperate she was when he didn’t get in touch after they’d slept together.

‘I think you know! Anyway, that’s all in the past.’

‘Is it?’

‘Yes. Now what is it that you wanted to say?’ She was getting impatient. All the hurt and betrayal she’d felt at seeing Gus and Melissa together was giving her the courage to stand firm and not break down in frustrated, angry tears.

Gus laughed and shook his head. ‘Not going to tell you. It’s no longer relevant.’

Now he really was being childish.

‘In which case there’s nothing to keep you, is there?’

‘Except Rory.’

‘Do say goodnight to him, but let me make it clear, if you make things difficult for me, in any way, like not leaving the minute you’ve said goodnight, access will have to be on a formal basis, by appointment. None of this just swinging by when it suits you.’ She couldn’t have Rory upset, no matter how upset and angry she was.

‘You’d stop me seeing my own son?’

‘Not if you’re reasonable, but I have my own life to consider.’

‘And I see exactly in which direction you’ve been considering it!’

‘And why shouldn’t I look out for myself for once? I’ve put my own needs second for five years and been happy to do it, but I’m a person with needs too!’

‘And I’m sure Richard is more than capable of fulfilling them! Except in the one way that matters!’

‘What are you talking about?’

Gus had stopped pacing and was looking at her with such intensity she almost flinched. ‘I’m talking about sex! What we have together—’

Sian didn’t want to think about what she and Gus had – had had, she reminded herself – together. As she’d said, that was in the past. She had moved on now. She’d made her decision and she damn well wasn’t going to be bullied by someone who had absolutely no right to get all high-handed with her.

‘There’s no need for you to worry about that,’ she said, aware she was sounding prim but determined to remain in control of the situation. ‘There are absolutely no problems in that area, thank you for your concern!’

‘I see! You’ve checked that out as well as the bank account, have you?’

How dare he! ‘If you don’t leave my house now—’

‘Oh I will! Just as soon as I’ve said goodnight to Rory.’

‘I don’t think that’s a very good idea. You’re not in a fit state to see him.’ She could almost see flames in his eyes and she stepped back. ‘Another thing – if you think I’m coming up to London with you to help sell your bloody book, you’re in for a surprise! Now please leave!’

‘Oh, I’m going. And if you want a laugh, you can read that!’ He slammed the jiffy bag down on top of a small cupboard and then flung himself out of the cottage.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Fiona was in the garden, trying to find some solace in dead-heading the roses, a job that she usually found soothing. Nothing was worse as a parent than seeing your child suffer from heartbreak. Well, she was sure there
were
lots of worse things to watch your child doing, being ill, for example. But just now it was seeing her light-hearted, flippant boy so miserable.

When he came back from Sian’s a few nights previously she couldn’t tell if he was just so angry he could hardly form words or so devastated he didn’t want to speak, but the combination was horrible to see and very difficult to live with.

She gathered that Angus had gone round to give her his news and she had been having a cosy meal with Richard, who, instead of being the nice man she had known vaguely since he was a schoolboy, had morphed into Croesus and Sian into a gold-digging little tramp.