She relaxed a bit at the casual question. Maybe they could just sit and talk. “Besides grill my sister? No.”
“I stopped at the drug store.”
Her body tensed again. So much for just talking. She knew what was coming. What she didn’t know was what she would do about it.
“Like a good boy scout, I’m prepared,” he added lightly.
“That will be nice for whatever girl scout you run into.”
“I don’t want a girl scout, I want you.”
“I thought we just agreed …”
“I think the only thing we agree on is that we both want each other.”
She lifted her head and gazed into his eyes. “That’s true, but --“
“No buts.” He paused, his eyes very serious. “I know there are a hundred reasons why we shouldn’t do this, but I can’t stop thinking about you. This kind of feeling doesn’t happen every day of the week, you know. I can’t make any promises. I can’t offer you my heart and my soul, because, in truth, I don’t know what’s left of my heart. It took a big hit a long time ago when my father ripped my family apart. I don’t really know how to love.”
She was touched by the admission. “You knew how to love once,” she reminded him.
“It almost killed me.”
“I understand.”
“I know you do. That’s why we keep coming back to this place.”
Their eyes met in a moment of deep connection.
“I can’t stop thinking about you, either, Tyler, but I’ve never been one to leap without looking. And I’m afraid to look where you’re concerned.”
“I think there was a time when you could leap. Then you got hurt, and you grew wary, and safe seemed better than sorry.”
“It still does,” she admitted.
“We’re a lot alike.”
“In some ways.”
“Whatever happens between us tonight is separate from everything else,” he said “There’s no past, no future, just tonight. I want to make love to you, Kate. You and me, nothing between us, no clothes, no secrets, no questions, no lies, no memories, no ghosts. Just the two of us.”
She drew in a breath and slowly let it out. She was tempted, but it was madness. They couldn’t escape the reality of the morning, could they? And how would she feel then?
His hand stroked the side of her face, a gentle, tender caress that made her heart skip a beat. What was coming was inevitable; she’d known that when she’d brought him home.
She leaned forward and touched her mouth to his with a deep sense of relief. Closing her eyes, she let him take over and allowed him to deepen the kiss, sweeping her away from all conscious thought. Her brain shut down and her senses took over as she tasted his mouth, ran her hands through his hair, around his neck, down his shoulders.
No matter what happened, she wouldn’t regret this night. There were plenty of things in her life she could feel sorry about, but this wouldn’t be one of them.
She broke the kiss and put her finger against his lips when he started to protest. “Is that boy scout kit of yours handy?”
“As close as my pocket.”
“Good, because I’m going to show you how a girl scout makes a fire without any matches.” She ran her tongue along the edge of his ear and heard his swift intake of breath. “I think I just got a spark.”
“I’ll show you a spark,” he growled, tumbling her over so she was flat on her back.
She waited for his kiss, but he didn’t move for a long second; he just stared at her stripping her bare with his eyes, looking right into her soul. Could he see everything that she was hiding? It was both terrifying and thrilling.
“Touch me,” she said softly, putting her hand on the back of his neck and pulling him down to her. She closed her eyes as his mouth trailed along the side of her face, her neck, down to her collarbone. “Don’t stop.”
“I won’t,” he promised and then kissed her on the mouth.
She ran her hands up under his shirt, loving the play of the taut muscles in his back. He was a strong man, a solid man, but he was complicated; he had hidden motives and secret agendas. In some ways he reminded her of the ocean -- deep, mysterious, dangerous. It was part of his appeal, and she couldn’t resist. She wanted him, wanted to see his control snap, wanted to feel the power in his body, wanted to get closer to him than anyone ever had and fill that emptiness in his heart.
She helped him off with his shirt, then slipped her sweater over her head as he removed his pants and helped her slide out of her jeans. It was a blessed relief when his naked body covered hers. There was nothing left between them. They were breast to breast, hip to hip, toe to toe, mouth to mouth.
Tyler shifted slightly, taking his weight to one side as his hand cupped one full breast, his fingers caressing, pulling, tugging. His mouth followed suit in the most delicious, wicked manner until her nerves were screaming and her breath was coming in rapid gasps of pleasure. His hands and his mouth were relentless, marking every inch of her body with passion and purpose until she was begging him to finish it.
He was in her head, in her heart, under her skin, but it wasn’t enough. She pulled him on top of her body and welcomed him inside. She was finally home. And, Tyler might not know it yet, but so was he.
She’d told him she wouldn’t ask him for anything, wouldn’t beg him to stay the night or make promises he couldn’t keep. But Kate was still disappointed to find Tyler gone when she woke up Thursday morning. A quick glance at the pillow next to her showed nothing but a single strand of dark hair, no note, no rose, no silly sentimental anything. She smiled at her own foolishness. It was just sex, not love, not romance. But she picked up the pillow, took a deep breath, and sighed. She could still smell the musky scent of his body. And, if she closed her eyes, she could see him in her mind, could feel his hands on her body, those wonderful, magic hands.
A wave of heat ran through her. She had been a fool to think one night would be enough. At least not for her. Tyler, on the other hand, had taken off at first light. Maybe it had been enough for him. With that disturbing thought, she stretched her arms over her head and forced herself to get out of bed. Her body felt deliciously sore. Muscles she’d forgotten she had were aching, but it was a good ache, a satisfied ache. It was pointless to look for a note from Tyler, but, after putting on her bathrobe and slippers, she managed to check every table between her bedroom and the kitchen. There was nothing.
Coffee, she decided, maybe some breakfast, then off to work like it was any other day, like all the days that would come next. She didn’t miss him. And she wouldn’t miss him. Not today, not tomorrow … Well, maybe for just a few days. Then she’d move on.
They had no future together. Tyler didn’t belong here. And she couldn’t be anywhere else.
Kate shivered. The house seemed colder this morning. Was this the way it would feel from now on, as if someone or something was missing, some heat, some magic? She should never have brought Tyler home. It wasn’t smart to have a casual affair at home. She should have kept it separate, gone to a neutral location, a place she wouldn’t have to visit every day. She was sure those rules were in a book somewhere, a book on how to have a love affair without breaking your heart.
Like Tyler, she’d thought she didn’t have a heart left to break, but there was a distinct ache in her chest. Had her heart somehow reawakened when she wasn’t looking? Maybe when Tyler had arrived in town? Tyler, who had all the things she wanted in a man: strength, humor, compassion, and a body to die for. She smiled at that thought -- a silly little smile that she would make sure never crossed her face when anyone was looking. She’d keep her feelings for Tyler a secret, just like she kept all the other secrets.
That thought immediately sent her smile packing. No matter what she felt for Tyler, there were still secrets between them. They’d both acknowledged that fact, made no pretense of believing that they were being totally honest with each other, but it had felt honest last night. It had felt like love. But how could there be love without trust?
She was doing exactly what she’d promised herself she wouldn’t do: rethinking and regretting. It had to stop right now. Whatever happened from here on out, she’d have last night. She’d know that somewhere out in the world was a man who could touch her heart even if she couldn’t touch his.
The phone rang and Kate reached for it, feeling a surge of ridiculous hope.
“Katie?”
The line crackled with static, but she could still make out her father’s voice. “Where are you?” she asked. “I can barely hear you.”
“I’m at the pay phone on the dock. I’m about to take that reporter friend of yours out for a sail. I need to know if you’ve changed your mind about racing on Saturday. Rick is pressuring me. If you don’t race, then I can’t race.”
“I already told you --“
“K.C. is spreading rumors, talking trash about us, smearing our name.”
Rumors or memories? Kate hoped it was the former.
“Your mother is probably turning over in her grave,” Duncan continued. “You have to change your mind. We need to pull together as a family. I need you, Katie. Don’t let me down. Say yes.”
Kate closed her eyes as her hand gripped the phone. How many times had he said those words to her? How many times had she gone along with him? She’d always supported him, always run interference if she could, always been his backup, but he was asking for too much.
“I can’t,” she said finally. “I can’t race with you.” There was nothing but static now, his silence as potent as any argument.
“Good-bye, Katie,” he said with a finality that alarmed her.
“Wait, Dad.” Her only answer was a dial tone. She stared at the phone for a moment, then dialed the number of the hotel where Tyler was staying. Maybe he’d stopped there to change before going down to the docks. She wanted to tell him …
What did she want to tell him? Don’t go. Don’t talk to my father. Or, take care of my dad. He’s depressed. He’s not getting what he wants, and he’s dangerous when that happens.
There was no answer in Tyler’s room. He must already be with Duncan. Damn. He’d probably been standing right next to her father. Kate hung up the phone feeling angry and worried. Even if she threw on her clothes and raced down to the docks, her dad would probably be gone by the time she got there. At least he’d sounded sober. Mad, but sober. Hopefully that would last.
They would probably be fine. Her father would just have to deal with her decision, live with the disappointment. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t had to do the same.
Kate turned on the coffeemaker. She definitely needed some caffeine to deal with this day. While she waited for the coffee to perk, she checked her answering machine for messages. There was nothing important.
She looked through the bills piling up on the counter, realizing at some point she’d actually have to pay some of them. Maybe later, when she was really depressed.
“Kate,” Ashley called out a moment later, slamming the front door. “Are you here?”
Kate met Ashley in the hall. “Is something wrong?”
“Something is right, actually,” Ashley said with a smile. “Sean bought my basket last night.”
“I saw.”
“We had a great time.”
“Why don’t you come in the kitchen and have some coffee with me? This sounds like a long story.”
Ashley followed her into the kitchen, taking a seat at the table while Kate poured her a cup.
“So, speak,” Kate said, sitting down across from her.
“We ate in the park and talked until almost midnight. Neither one of us wanted to end the evening.” ”
What did you talk about?”
“Mostly what Sean has been doing for the past few years. He really wants to work for his father, Kate. He loves designing and building boats; that’s where his heart is. It’s not in racing. And that’s the really good news. He decided not to race in the Castleton. He’s going to stay here on the island and build boats. I think it’s what he was always meant to do.”
“So do I,” Kate said with a sigh. She was happy for Sean, but she knew this only meant more trouble ahead for Ashley.
“You think it’s going to be a problem, don’t you?” Ashley asked.
“Don’t you?”
“Well, it doesn’t matter. Sean shouldn’t have to stay away from his family. If anyone should leave, it should be me.”
“But you won’t, will you?”
Ashley thought about that “I love this island, Kate, probably as much as you do. But I want Sean to be happy. And I want him to be safe. If that means he stays here, then I want that, too. If it gets too hard, I’ll figure out what to do then.”
“You seem so strong all of a sudden.”
“He gave it back to me, Kate. I don’t know how he did it, but I feel so much better since Sean came back. I’m starting to believe my old self might still be in there somewhere.”
“I hope so. I like that girl.”
“Me, too.” Ashley got up. “I’ve got work to do.”
“I’ll walk, you out.”
Kate followed her sister down the hall, realizing a second too late that she should have steered her past the living room.
“Oh, my!” Ashley exclaimed. “You had quite the picnic last night, didn’t you?”
Kate was almost afraid to look into the room. She wasn’t sure what state it was in, but it had to be bad. She forced herself to peek around the corner. The sofa pillows were on the floor, along with the blanket, which was completely twisted and tangled among containers of food, some still half full.
“Is that whipped cream?” Ashley asked in amazement. “Just what did you put in your basket?”
“It was for ice cream sundaes. They weren’t part of the original basket.”
“I bet they weren’t.” Ashley turned to her with amusement edged with concern. “Are you sure that was smart?”
“I am nowhere near sure. But it happened. And, before you ask, there was no pillow talk, no spilling of secrets. Just a lot of really great . .” Kate couldn’t quite find the right word.
“Conversation?”
“Exactly,” she said with a grin.
“I’ll bet. Tell me, big sister, did the whipped cream actually go on the ice cream?”
“Ashley!”
“Hey, you’re supposed to be my mentor. If there’s something more interesting to be done with whipped cream, I think it’s your sisterly duty to tell me about it.”