Sun Damage (The Sunshine Series) (11 page)

He will pay for what he has done, and now so shall she. I can control their pain more t
han I can control their deaths and I love that idea even more than just simply killing them. The cure would have to be destroyed no matter the situation, but now,
now
I can take away what Myles has taken away from me. He will know what it is to love someone and have them ripped from their arms. If I cannot watch her die by my blood, he will.

***
 

A door opening wakes me up
and it takes me longer than it should to roll over. I’m on the floor in the living room and when I look to the space above the couch, there isn’t anything left of the painting but a few scraps of torn and mangled canvas hanging from the bare wooden frame.

Jad
e. I almost forgot he was here.

I freeze until I hear the bathroom door open and close behind him. Then, without any hesitation, I take the painting
–or what’s left of it–off the wall, not even feeling the weight of it as I stash the frame behind the couch, throwing out the remaining shreds that were littering the carpet before Jade comes into the living room.

“
You okay?” he asks.

I wish he knew what a loaded question that is.
“Uh,” I say. “Sure.”

“
God, it’s early,” Jade says to himself. “It’s like, ten.” He cocks his head to one side, noticing the missing piece from the room.

“
I didn’t want to look at it,” I say. I think about explaining how the colors were bothering my eyes or how it reminded me of Myles, but I don’t want to lie, and the truth is too scary, so I let the thought remain unfinished.

Jade nods to himself.
“Okay. You want coffee?”

I let out a breath.
“Yeah.”

I watch as he sets to work, pulling mugs from the cabinet and scooping grounds into the coffee maker. I take the opportunity to go into my room and change, afraid that being alone for the time it would take me to shower would be too much time to think. It’s hard enough going back into the kitchen.

“You got a text,” Jade says without looking away from pouring our coffee. “I heard your phone go off a few times.”

“
Thanks,” I murmur, swiping my cell from the floor. It must have fallen out of my pocket during the night.

The first text is the newest, from Manny a few minutes ago:
You busy today? So stoked you’re touring! Come meet me at Midnight to see the bus.

The next is from Boo, about an hour ago:
Yo, get up. Manny’s giving us a bus tour of our tour bus...heh, try to say that ten times fast...so let’s go!

The last few are from Myles, wh
o sent them early this morning.

Five:
Are you okay? I thought I felt something before.

Six-
thirty:
Sophie, please. If something’s going on, don’t shut me out.

Seven:
I’ll see you tomorrow. You probably don’t want to see me, but I need to see you. I hope you’re okay.

And then, at Seven-sixteen:
I love you
.

“
Everything alright?” Jade says, coming to sit next to me on the couch. I nod, unable to say anything, too focused on the last text.

I clear my throat, tearing my eyes away from my phone.
“Manny’s showing us a bus, apparently.”

Jade sips his coffee as he hands me mine. I let it sit in between my hands, having no desire whatsoever to drink it.

We meet Manny behind Midnight, where there’s a small pa
rking lot. He’s wearing aviator sunglasses and leaning against the wheel of an enormous shiny black bus. He stands up straight when he sees Jade and I.

“
Wow, Pinky,” he says, taking in my appearance. “You really did it, huh?”

I blink a few times.
“Really did what?” I ask.

Manny glances toward Jade, who nods. He mouths,
“Turned.”

I wasn
’t aware that my look had changed that much. No one else has noticed anything–at least I don’t think they have–but maybe it’s something that’s only noticeable when someone knows what they’re looking for.

He touches my arm briefly and it’s extremely warm, even through the trench coat. I’m already almost used to that feeling when people touch me, so I almost don’t take note of it. It’s the fact that when I look at him, all I see is dark red waves rolling over him that makes me pause to catch my breath. Manny must notice how uneasy I am because he lets go of my arm, smiling nervously.

I smile back at him but there’s no life in it.

“
I heard you were really sick,” he offers.

“
Who told you that?”

He shrugs.
“I was bugging Evan.” He smiles to himself. “I needed to know if you were on board for the tour and he finally told me that you weren’t doing so well.”

I nod a little because I have nothing to say.

“Well,” he says, getting the hint that I either can’t or won’t talk about it. I’m not sure which side I’m leaning toward myself. “It’s good to see you,” he says, looking to Jade again. “Both of you. I was kind of worried.”

“
Worried?” I ask.

“
Yeah,” he says like it’s the most natural thing. “Good to know you survived.” The way he says these things makes me uneasy and I don’t know why. It’s probably just that heightened emotions thing.

But I still can
’t help asking, “You don’t think...it’s weird?”

He snorts.
“Have you seen where we work?” he asks. “And besides, you’re dating a
vampire
. It was bound to happen eventually.”

It’s quiet for the longest moment then. I stare at the ground, and Jade clears his throat.

Manny takes the hint and changes the subject. “So...you wanna see where we’ll be semi-living for the next two weeks?”

At the same time, Boo
and Trei open the door to the bus and poke their heads out. “Are you guys coming or what?” Boo asks.

We climb
in after Manny. My stomach flips, worrying if touring is such a good idea. Scratch that. I
know
it isn’t a good idea. Having a dream about one of Michael’s memories only confirms it. He isn’t going to let me go. He wants to drag me into a deep dark hole with no chance of crawling out. How can I be thinking about leaving the protection of the club right now? How can I even pretend to be at ease with any of this?

I take off my sunglasses and the first thing I see is how big the steering wheel is. When I
shift my eyes around the small space, I can see seats, like the ones they have on trains, facing each other with tables between them. Everything is black leather except the floor, which is made out of shiny silver.

“
So you’re the one who’s taking up the junk bunk this time around,” Manny says, turning slightly toward Jade.

My brother glances at me.
“What?” he asks Manny.

He laughs, waving a hand in front of him.
“We usually store extra booze and clothes in the bunk you’ll be using, but that’s okay. It’ll force us to keep neat this time around.”

“
Oh,” Jade says, and I can see his muscles relaxing.

“
Wait,” Boo says at the head of the line as he stops walking, causing our little train to come to a halt. “What’s he talking about?” He’s looking straight at me.

“
Well,” I say, trying to sound as casual as I possibly can. “It was supposed to be a surprise.”

Now Trei turns in our direction. “What’s a surprise?”

“Jade’s coming on tour with us,” I say in one short breath, realizing only now that it probably doesn’t look good that I made this plan without consulting them. “I meant to tell you about it,” I add on, hoping it might help a little.

I’m relieved when they both smile.

“That’s awesome,” Boo says.

“
Yeah!” Trei agrees.

Jade places a hand on my back, maybe sensing how I need some form of support. I’m
grateful for the small gesture but I have to pull away. I can feel his fingertips through my trench coat as if I’m not wearing it at all, and for a second, everything turns a calming shade of baby blue. As soon as we break contact it’s gone.

“
So this is the main area,” Manny says, continuing to point out the bus. “Kitchen, living room, and office all in one,” he jokes. We follow him further into the bus, down a short hallway that leads to what Manny describes as “the bedrooms”.

“
Alright,” he says, patting a blank wall at the back of the bus before sliding it open. “So this is where we usually sleep.”

He gestures to three rectangular rows of curtains on either side of us. We take a few more steps.
“And then you guys can sleep out here.” He lets us all squeeze into the tight space where there are six more sets of bunks.

“
So,” Manny says, bending down. “One for you, Pinky.” He slaps a bottom bunk, “One for Myles,” He slaps the one across from that. “I mean, you can share, but it gets kind of cramped.” He doesn’t pause before patting the three remaining bunks. “And then one for Boo, Trei, and Jade.”

“
Actually,” I say, my voice tight. I cross my arms over my chest in case my hands start shaking. “Myles won’t need a bunk.”

Boo is the first to speak up.
“He’s not coming with us?”

“
Nah,” I try to be casual about it, but I feel like I’m going to explode.

He can follow me if he wants
but I’ll be damned if he’s going to do be here, seven inches from me, reminding me that we’re both–all–in this situation because of him.

“
Why not?” Trei asks.

I shrug, trying to think of something fast.
“He’s got some stuff to take care of here,” I say. But then I decide it’ll look suspicious if they see him, since he’ll most likely be showing up. “He said he’d try to meet us at some of the shows.”

“
Well that’s a shame,” Manny says, ending the conversation, and I could hug him for that.

“
I guess we’ve got a junk bunk again.” He sounds pleased with that fact.

Boo and Trei smile, believing my story and moving on.

Maybe lying gets easier in my new life. God knows nothing else is.

Once we’re done touring the bus, we part ways, Boo and Trei explaining that they need to go home and pack, and Jade and I saying something similar. When we’re alone in the car, I can’t conceal the emotions anymore. Before Jade is even behind the driver’s seat, a wave of dizziness
stronger than I’ve ever felt washes over me and I have to rest my head on my knees to make it stop.

Instead of asking if I’m okay, which I’m grateful for, Jade says,
“How the hell are we going to pull this off?”

I take a few more moments of calm, just resting my head against my legs before sitting upright.
“I don’t know.”

He wraps his hands around the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. Then he relaxes them and turns towards me.
“I mean, is it even safe out there?”

The backs of my eyes burn.
Is it safe
anywhere
? Is it safe to do or say or feel
anything
anymore?

I swallow the unshed tears.
“Let’s just go.” My voice is thick. “Myles wouldn’t let me go if we wouldn’t be okay.” As I say the words, I believe them in every fiber of my being, yet… he lied. Who’s to say what he won’t lie about?

Jade takes a deep breath, thinking to
himself before he starts the car. “Listen,” he says. “I’ve got to go home for a few hours to pack.”

“
Okay,” I tell him, not sure if I’m ready for him to leave.

“
You should come with me,” he says. “Or maybe you can hang at Mom’s for a little? See Laura and Adam and Leena...and maybe Mom before we leave?”

My first instinct is to say no, that if I go to New Jersey, I’ll just go to him and Stevie’s apartment. But I haven’t
seen my family in a long time and for some reason, now that everything’s different, I can’t think of anything nicer than seeing people from before—even my mother.

I nod.
“Are we leaving now?”

Jade glances at the dashboard, like he’s just realized that we’ve been sitting in a stationary vehicle this whole time.
Without another word, we pull out of the parking lot.

Jade let
s me blast the radio most of the way there since both of us are tired of asking questions that we have no answers for. He turns it down as we’re turning onto our old street. “Something else you should know,” he says.

“
Okay.” My voice is hoarse.

“
Laura’s moving into your apartment.” He takes a quick breath before continuing. “I’m sorry, it happened a while ago but I never had the chance to tell you. It’s just that with all of this shit happening…”