Sun Damage (The Sunshine Series) (2 page)

“
She’s okay.” Myles’ voice is somehow different. Something I not only hear, but feel in every bone, muscle, and scar. “She might be in and out for a while,” he says. “Depending on how much she fights.”

I hear Jade let out a breath.

Myles is stroking my hair, whispering things to me that get caught up in the waves. My hearing is gone again. My body is light. For a second, I’m floating, then slipping back under. Out of my body, out of my mind.

Minutes, days.
It’s all the same, and it’s strange that I don’t worry about going back, but I can’t find it in me to care. Then the last few conscious minutes I had flood my thoughts.

Myles presse
d his mouth to my collar bone, the same place he’d bitten me before.

First, the pain was unbearable. Worse than the first time, worse than the cramping in my body. I could feel Michael’s blood mixed in mine. It
clawed at my veins and stuck in my chest, trying to hold on as long as it could, going against the current flowing out of me and into Myles.

Then, abruptly, the pain stopped.
Everything became dark. When I opened my eyes, all I saw was the plain, white ceiling above us for one fleeting second before it was overtaken by the darkness as well.

I didn’t want to go. Not then. He was still biting me, draining everything bad out, and I was leaving with it. My body bucked against his, fighting with whatever strength was left. His hands were clasped around mine, pushing my arms into the mattress at m
y sides. It didn’t hurt anymore but fear made me fight. He was pushing me off of a cliff and I didn’t know what was below.

“
Stop,” I whispered.

He didn’t move away from me to speak:
I told you I wouldn’t.

I reme
mber crying when my muscles relaxed against my will. When the burst of strength fizzled into nothing. Myles let go of my hands. He repositioned himself so his arms were under me, pressing our bodies closer together as his fangs sank deeper into my skin. I whimpered because I was too tired to scream.

Then his hands were wiping the tears from my face as new ones formed again and again.

I’m sorry.
The words bounced around in my head.

I’m sure it only lasted a few minutes, but it was an eternity of lifetimes for me.

I blinked and Myles was pulling away, leaving warmth and a faint throb where his mouth was connecting us. Then his wrist was against my mouth, wet and cold at first, and then warm. Somewhere, I knew what it was, what I was supposed to do. Myles held my head with his free hand but I pulled away. His grip on my skull tightened slightly. Enough to make me open my eyes. I saw him but everything was blurred.

“
Do you want to die?” There was nothing in his voice that scared me. It was only a question, the simple fact that if I drank what he was offering, I would live forever, if not, I’d fade into nothing. I knew he would give me either choice if I asked for it.

“
No,” I whispered.

“
Then you need to drink this,” he said, moving my head to his open wound again.

I always thought bleeding was a way to get rid of things. Every monster I ever had could only come out if I let them through and bled them out.

Now the blood was rushing
into
me, running through my body. I would become the monster now.

That’s what keeps coming up over and over as I try to float between life and death.
My world and the world that comes after it. I concentrate on the sound of the waves as they crash. I can’t see where they’re coming from or where they end. There is only darkness upon darkness.

Once in a while, I hear the world I left, though I can’t say if it’s more real than this one.
Sometimes Jade or Myles talking but the sounds get swallowed up.

It’s so peaceful in the dark.
So calm that for a while, I don’t move. I sink, and that is all I’m meant to do.

Suddenly, a small sound breaks through the static.
“No.” Jade. “I can’t.” He’s crying. His voice echoes everywhere and I start swimming, propelling myself upwards with as much force as I can.

I can’t leave him. I won’t.

Then I’m gasping, slamming back down. Someone has pulled me out of the water.

“
Sophie.” Myles. His hands are on either side of my face.

So many questions.
So many lies. I want my brother.

“
Jade,” I whisper, and my voice no longer belongs to me.

A breath.
“He has to leave for a little bit,” Myles says. “His presence is making it harder for you to let go.”

I try as hard as I can
to open my eyes and look at him but they’re bolted shut. I’m trapped inside myself.

“
He’ll be back,” Myles says. So close to my face.

I don’t know if my brother’s already left so I try lifting my head, searching for any sign or sound that indicates he’s still in the room. All I can do is
shake.

“
You need to go back,” Myles is saying. He kisses my cheek, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. Half of me wants to melt into his touch; the other half wants to run away. “Don’t fight the waves,” he says into my ear. “You have to stay completely under.”

I take in a breath and it feels like my body wants to reject it, cough it back out.

“I know it goes against every instinct, but you have to let it take you.”

Another gasp.

“Yes,” he says. “Like that.”

The tears start. I want to tell him that he’s wrong.
That I like it under the waves. There is fear and pain and questions here. I want to go back but I don’t know how.

“
Don’t be afraid,” Myles says softly. His breath is on my face as he kisses my forehead. “I’ll come and get you.”

But I can’t leave, not yet.
“Jade,” I whisper again. “Please.”

My brother’s voice
answers, and I can hear how thick it is from crying. “She doesn’t want me to leave,” he says.

Another cough, and this time, I choke.

“Shh.” Myles tries soothing me, hold my shoulders to keep me still. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know that the longer I stay, the harder it’ll be to go back. That thought drifts away when I feel Jade next to me once again.

“
Please don’t make me leave,” he whispers to Myles, who hasn’t taken his hands off of me.

With both of them touching me, I can stay calm.

But as soon my lungs fill with air, it evaporates into smoke and the coughing continues. It feels like something’s crushing my chest, sucking everything out. They both try to keep me still, but I have no control over my body. My shoulders break free of Myles’ grasp, and I clutch onto his forearms so tightly that my fingernails must leave claw marks. I try to scream but I can’t find enough oxygen.

“
Is she?” Jade’s voice cuts in and out, getting covered by the sound of waves. That can’t be right. I’m still here.

“
I don’t know.” Myles’ answer is muffled.

My heart is beating so loud, so fast, that I barely hear him say,
“I think so,” before the thudding in my ears replaces the static.

My hands ache enough that Myles is able to slip one of his arms free, placing a palm to my chest.

“What are you doing?” Jade asks, but I barely catch it.

“
Making it easier.” Myles’ voice is a whisper but it cuts through the chaos, causing my body to slip into his touch and slowly relax. I feel the pain flowing out of me into his fingertips. The waves calm but I know they’ll come back.

“
Sit with her,” Myles says, out of breath as his hand gently rests in the center of my chest.

My arms are too sore to hang on and I finally let go.
“Jade,” I whisper again, blindly reaching in any direction he might be.

“
He’s right here,” Myles says, and I feel my brother’s touch against my sweaty hand.

Myles strokes my hair and my body relaxes some more
. The waves rumble in the distance and I can feel myself fading, my heart failing.

“
It’s going to happen soon,” Myles whispers.

Another gasp escapes me, but this time I’m not afraid. It doesn’t hurt.

“Sophie,” Jade says. “I’m right here.”

Then the
waves drag me back under and I’m gone.

I let the current take me wherever it’s leading, and eventually, I stop slamming back into my body. I stop worrying about not being able to find air.

I know where I am.
In between.

Last time I was here was last wi
nter, in the hospital I died in. I found the door and wanted to slip through it but Myles stopped me and made me come back. I wonder if it will be the same as last time.

There is no door now. I swim in circles,
trying to find one in the dark but there isn’t anything here. Just miles and miles of black water.

At first, I start to panic. I need to find it. I don’t know why, but I’m meant to go through that door. I can’t just keep sin
king. But then I let myself go—I stop spinning and searching. I lie on my back and let the water support me; a hard surface finds the back of my head, causing me to straighten up and turn around.

There it is: a plain, white door with a silver knob. I see it through the murky water as if a light is shining on it. I don’t think twice before turning the
handle. When I step inside, I’m not in the water anymore, but I’m not in the bed at Evan’s house either. I’m in Stevie and Jade’s apartment. Slowly, my feet guide me toward the kitchen, where someone has their back to me, the sink running. I’d recognize that dark curly hair anywhere.

“
Stevie?” I croak, tears pinching the back of my throat.

He turns, smiling and shutting off the water.
“Sorry,” he says, setting down a glass of water on the counter between us. “I wasn’t expecting you so soon.”

His smile
. His voice. They aren’t things I paid close enough attention to but now that I’ve seen it and heard him again, after thinking I never would, they’re the two most beautiful things in the world.

He comes closer, stepping around the counter and stretching his arms out to me.
“Hey, Sunshine.”

I latch onto him and I never want to let go again. Part of me wonders if this is real as he wraps his solid arms around my waist. Maybe this is some sort of cruel joke my mind is playing on me to make me feel better about dying.

“No more crying,” Stevie says as we pull away. “I’m so sick of all the crying.” He laughs.

I’m surprised that I can laugh back as I wipe at my eyes.
“Sorry.”

“
It’s okay,” he says. “I cried a lot too.”

“
How long have you been here?”

Stevie motions for me to sit down next to him at the counter and then pushes the glass over to me, which I take three huge gulps of.

“Not long,” he says. “I wanted to make sure someone was here for you.”

I set the glass back down.
“Where is here, exactly?”

He shrugs.
“I think it’s kind of limbo.” Stevie tries tucking some curls behind his ear, but it doesn’t stay there long. “I know things now, Sunshine. Everything.”

I swallow.
“So…” There are so many things I want to ask him, so many things I want to know, but he cuts me off before I have the chance to ask.

“
There’s no time to talk about it,” he says. “But I will say, Myles, a vampire? Didn’t see that coming.”

I can’t contain the snort that leaves me. We’re both dead right now and all Stevie wants to do is gossip.
“And now…” I say, my tone serious. “Me.”

He shrugs.
“Maybe.”

“
What do you mean ‘maybe’?”

“
Well.” He sighs, thinking. “You don’t
have
to be a vampire.” He shrugs again. “You don’t have to go back. You don’t
have
to do anything.”

I take that in for a second. Throughout all of the fighting between my body and swimming, it never occurred to me that I had any option other than waiting for Myles to come and take me back.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“
You know,” Stevie says, a slight smirk crossing his face. “When Myles comes walking through that door...” He motions to the one I came through, light seeping out from behind it now. All at once, I want to go through it, but somehow, I know if I do that, I’ll be dead. Really dead. “You can follow me back out,” Stevie interrupts my thoughts. “Instead of him.” He smiles a little bit. “Not that I want you to die or anything. But you do have a choice.”

More choices.
I should have known. I should have stayed in the dark.