“Seriously?” I tried to picture a boy from the Wander Inn asking a girl from the Divas’ Den cabin to be on his team.
He looked up at me. “I’d pick you every time if I thought it wouldn’t embarrass you.”
“We’d shock a lot of people, that’s for sure.” I couldn’t think about what my friends would say—the Divas’ Den girls or my Northstar Academy crew. If they ever found out about me and Julian—if there even was a “me and Julian”—they’d flip out.
“Will you get kicked out of your cabin for talking to me?” He laughed.
“It’s not a joke.” Wind whipped strands of frozen hair onto my face, stinging my cheek. I’d lost my helmet in the fall and I noticed Julian had, too.
“Maybe not to you.” He slid his other arm free and reached toward me. Then, digging his elbows into the snow near my feet, he hoisted himself up.
I grabbed onto his backpack and pulled, tugging him at the same time. Well, I tried to, at least. He landed in a sprawl alongside me and I fell into the icy snow with him.
“Thank God,” I whispered, exhausted and grateful that we were both in one piece. “Are you okay?”
“I think so.” He lifted his arms, rotating each of his shoulders. “Yeah. What about you?”
He rolled to his stomach while I lay on my back. His face loomed over mine in the cold night, the stars spread out behind him as I looked up. We could have been at camp on the beach. Except we were all alone.
“Fine.” I didn’t want to think about the avalanche or the fact that we were lost. “Thanks to you.”
“I let go. You could have been—” He shook his head.
“Are you kidding me?” I rolled over to my side, propping myself on one elbow. All my muscles burned. “If you hadn’t been there, I’d be buried right now.”
And I definitely didn’t want that image in my head. I swallowed hard.
“I could have hurt you, dragging you down the mountain with me. Only to let go at the end…” He swiped a hand over his face and I realized I’d never seen Julian be emotional. He was always so calm, no matter how insulting people were to him or what jokes we made at his expense. “God, Hannah, you could have died.”
My eyes burned. I didn’t know if it was the thought of a brush with death or—more likely—the understanding that Julian Berwick cared what happened to me.
“Let me be very clear.” I grabbed his hands in mine and scooted even closer on the bed of snow. “My instincts told me to curl up in a ball and let the snow take me. We both know I’d be at the bottom of all this,” I flicked the mound with my toe, “if I’d done that.”
“I let go.” His voice was colder than the crappy storm we’d been stuck in all day.
I squeezed his hands harder, determined he would listen.
“You showed me how to swim through it,” I reminded him. “When I saw your arm arcing through it, I knew what I was supposed to do and I used the butterfly stroke to stay on top of the wave. I totally kicked that snow’s ass because of you.”
“Hannah.” His voice cracked a little when he said it. No one had ever looked at me the way he did then. Like I was the best, coolest, most precious thing.
I let go of his hands and flung my arms around his neck. Held him tight.
“You. Saved. Me.” I spoke into his ear through the layer of thin wool ski cap he’d worn beneath his helmet. “Thank you.”
“I couldn’t remember the stuff I knew about avalanches fast enough.” He tipped his head into my shoulder for a second then tipped back to look me in the eye. “Dive to one side. Swim to the top. Keep an arm up high so rescue parties can find you. Cover your mouth…it went through my head in this jumbled mess and I kept thinking I knew how to save myself, but how could I tell you all that stuff?”
“I copied you and I knew what to do.” Shivering, I snuggled closer to him, trying to reassure him because I could tell he was rattled. Our hips brushed. And then—the hell with it—I wound my legs through his. I was freezing and Julian was so warm next to me.
“I’ll build us a fire in a second.” He wrapped an arm around my waist like it was the most natural thing in the world to hold me. “Do you still have your phone?”
“I dropped it when the snow started sliding.” I hoped it broke because my message list would be fairly incriminating.
“My mom will freak when she can’t get in touch with me. That is, if she bothers trying to call me on Christmas.”
“My phone’s in my bag.” He shifted, and I thought he was reaching for it. Instead, he pulled his cape over me like a big blanket, covering me with warmth. “I’ll check it in a minute. Right now, I just want to…”
His eyes met mine.
I knew exactly what he wanted. Or at least, my heart did, because it kick-started into a dub-step rhythm that only Julian inspired. I laid my head on his arm, using his bicep like a pillow.
“Yeah.” I licked my snow-chapped lips. “Me, too.”
His glove disappeared. He touched my cheek with bare fingers, brushing aside my icy hair and covering half my neck with his palm. I could feel my heartbeat pulsing hard beneath his touch.
I didn’t wait for his kiss. I moved closer and sealed my lips to his, taking in his gentle warmth. Holding still, I waited while all those tingly, sweet feelings washed through me and bubbled over my skin. That connection with him chased away the fear still lurking in my stomach, replacing it with lightness. Happiness.
“I could kiss you for hours,” he whispered against my mouth.
“Don’t let me stop you.” I blinked up at him, snow falling on my lashes. But I knew he wouldn’t keep kissing me when our classmates were in danger. “Unless we need to go back and help the others.”
Julian was too noble. Too sure of his own strength in a crisis.
Yet, he didn’t let go of me.
“They wouldn’t have been caught in that avalanche,” he reasoned slowly, his dark eyebrows scrunching together. A thoughtful frown.
“No?” I asked, a ridiculous ribbon of delight dancing inside me.
“Definitely not.” He spoke so seriously. “They were above the fault line. I can picture where the snow gave way beneath that gorge. We might have triggered it.”
“So there’s no risk they’re buried in snow,” I clarified, not quite hiding my grin.
“Not a chance. Adirondack avalanches are small and rare. They’re safe where they are.”
“Are you implying we can hang out here a little longer? While they stay up there alone?”
“Absolutely.”
I did grin now. “Julian Berwick, you’ve got a little mean streak in you, too.”
He never cracked a smile. “Taking care of you is my first priority.”
I couldn’t hold back a happy laugh. “I think I’d like that.”
Finally, finally, I saw the corner of his lips hitch up. But only for a second before he lowered his mouth to mine and nipped at my lower lip, brushed teasing kisses over sensitive skin. My eyes fell closed and I struggled to wrench my gloves off so I could touch him.
I was awkward and nearly elbowed him in the shoulder while I maneuvered it, but I refused to break the kiss. When I finally tossed aside the pink Thinsulate, I slid both hands into the “V” of his jacket zipper, digging beneath that outer layer to the warmer fleece beneath.
His heart pounded furiously next to the heel of my right hand, his warm skin only a layer or two away. I soaked in the feel of him—safe and alive—beside me, his mouth exploring mine with the thoroughness of a lifetime gamer used to uncovering hidden treasures and secret places. Part of me wanted to tackle him and kiss him like there was no tomorrow, but not for all the world would I end this sweet tenderness that was so much more than I deserved.
“I don’t think I can stay away from you anymore,” he said finally when he broke the kiss. One hand massaged my shoulder under my jacket. Under his cape.
I was plenty warm now.
“I don’t want you to.”
“I mean it, Hannah. After this, I can’t go back to being the geek in the sidelines.”
Right. Being with Julian was going to change the whole social order. At school. At camp. Everywhere.
“Your friends aren’t going to like me either,” I warned him, picturing the other boys in Wander Inn.
“Missy is going to raise holy hell.” He pointed to the more immediate problem.
“I’ll take care of her.”
Maybe the time had come not to worry about it so much. She and I had this meanness thing wrong all along. If I’d helped her that first time by being her friend instead of her thug, everything could have been different. We might not have ruled the school, but we would have been happy. Happy the way Julian and I were right now.
“It won’t be that easy.”
“You said I was strong and determined, remember?” I unzipped his fleece a little more. Put my hands on his T-shirt and felt the strength of muscles I hadn’t noticed until this morning. “Did you mean it?”
“Definitely.”
“You also said you were going to take care of me.” I pressed closer to him, shamelessly changing the subject.
“And since I skidded partway down a mountain, got caught in an avalanche, and had to find where you were buried
in
the dark
, I feel like I really deserve another kiss right now.”
He smiled for real this time. “Maybe this will work after all.”
“If you keep kissing me like that, you’re going to get a whole lot of Hannah.”
The last words were lost when his mouth met mine.
His kiss was fiercer this time, a revelation of deep emotions that ran beneath his quiet, quirky surface. I twined my arms around his neck, the sensation of his chest next to mine still shiver-worthy even through the layers of GORE-TEX.
Other times when I kissed a guy, I had to be careful not to be too friendly if I didn’t want to turn the guy into an octopus. But Julian was different. Besides, after all the ways I’d ignored him or teased him over the years, didn’t he deserve to know how much I was feeling this moment too?
Maybe he didn’t trust himself as much as I trusted him though, because he cupped my hips in both hands and inserted a little space between us there and made me realize how carried away I’d gotten. He didn’t stop kissing me though, his mouth nipping a trail beneath my ear and down my neck, hovering over my throbbing pulse at the base of my throat.
The sudden screech of a ringtone startled me completely.
“Ohmigod.” I scrambled to sit up while Julian did the same.
He wrenched off his backpack and unzipped a side compartment while the ringing grew louder.
“Hello?” he shouted into the phone, the small light of the screen making me realize how pitch black it really was all around us.
He must have hit the button for speakerphone because I could hear a woman on the other end.
“Sir, this is Search and Rescue and we’re trying to contact a group of skiers who didn’t return to the base of the mountain—”
“Yes, our group is lost,” Julian started, launching into a concise explanation of our position and the other group’s position.
I tuned out while I collected myself and found my gloves.
A couple of hours ago, getting rescued would have been so exciting. Now?
I didn’t want to return to reality. For the first time in my life, I stopped worrying about my future and embraced the now.
Chapter Eleven
Hannah
The snowmobile ride back to the lodge flew by. I rode one of the Ski-Doos behind a Search and Rescue driver while Julian rode behind another. I didn’t talk much to the rescuer—Joe—on the way back other than to find out that some scientists were on the mountain already to measure the size of the avalanche. He also said the others were already back at the lodge and that Andre was on his way to the hospital.
I didn’t ask about Missy and Bella. I guess I wasn’t in any hurry to find out what kind of situation waited for me at base camp. With any luck, Bella’s dad had already picked them up and brought them home for the night. I was supposed to have gotten a ride from Andre to the pizza place earlier and from there I would have walked home, since it was in the village of Lake Placid. I had no idea how I’d get home now.
When the white lights from the main lodge came into view, I felt happy to see the huge evergreen wreaths with red bows. The time on the mountain had seemed to last for days, but it wasn’t even midnight yet. We’d been up there for less than twelve hours, but it felt like a lifetime ago since we’d gotten off the buses that morning.
Joe stopped the snowmobile and I got off while Julian’s sled roared up behind us.
Should I wait for him? Walk in with
him?
I wished we’d had more time to figure out how we were going to approach our friends. We needed a plan of attack, except it was late and I just wanted to go home. I didn’t normally shy away from a fight, but I’d been through a lot today.
Yet if I didn’t claim Julian right now, would I lose my chance to be with him? Hurt him unintentionally?
I tucked up against one wall of the lodge, waiting to enter until he got off so I could tell him my plan. What would it hurt if we waited until after Christmas break to announce the truth to our friends?
“Julian?” I waved him over as he finished shaking hands with the Search and Rescue guys. He took a step toward me as the front doors to the lodge blasted open and Missy and Bella charged out.
“Hannah!” They squealed and screeched my name at the top of their lungs, their voices hitting octaves that would have made dogs howl. “You’re okay!”
They launched themselves at me, hugging me and squeezing me at the same time while Julian stood in the background. Close, but not interfering.
I was hyper aware of him. Aware of everything he might be feeling. Even though we’d ridden back separately, I still felt connected to him somehow. Things had changed between us on that mountain, and I didn’t think there was any going back, no matter how painful the fallout might be.
“I’m fine,” I assured them, hugging back and kissing cheeks. “Exhausted, but fine.”
Bella lowered her voice to whisper in my ear. “Andre isn’t going to say anything about how he fell. Isn’t that the best?”
She smiled a dazzling Bella smile.
“I’m glad for you. But I still want you to be careful around him. You hear me?” I hated the thought of her with pervy Andre, and I vowed to keep an eye on that situation.