Sundown & Serena (33 page)

After, we sat around, talking about
Christmases past. By that, I mean mostly listening to Jenny tell of
her Christmases past. I didn’t have very many happy ones to share,
and no one, not even T or Elle, was going to bring up Sarelle,
who’d orchestrated all the past Christmases that they had shared as
a family. But it was cozy, being part of a group. Before long, Theo
and Jenny excused themselves to bed, and soon after Elle did as
well, saying with pleasure and a good deal of relish that she was
spending the night with the foxes, as Demi was telling Brian at
their holiday gathering that night that she was pregnant, and she
didn’t want to miss the announcement. T asked to pass on
congratulations for him, and also to make sure Demi went with Brian
to see Dr. Camlyn next week, to make sure everything was as it
should be. Elle left with a nod, to say she’d pass that on.

For a while, T and I sat on the couch, beside
the tree, watching it sparkle. And then he handed me a small box,
saying “Merry Christmas” in his sexy voice.

I opened it, and found some beautiful
earrings, shaped like tiny chunks of gold. I put them on, and
thanked him.

“My father gave similar ones to my mother,
many years ago when they were dating,” T said a little absently. “I
hope you like them.”

I assured him I did, and then told him in a
hesitant voice that I had something for him as well. He looked at
me expectantly.

“You have everything you need,” I said
getting the words out with effort. “I don’t have much to offer you
that you can’t buy for yourself, T. But I have myself, and I can
offer you that.”

T looked at me, and something like
nervousness flitted through his eyes, but he just kept looking at
me.

“I know Devlin took care of the money for me,
until the New Year,” I said delicately, feeling embarrassed yet
determined to see this through. “But I’m telling you now, come to
me whenever you like, T, for as long as you like.” I blushed,
thinking this was a shameful way to celebrate my Lord’s birth. But
it was true, I didn’t have anything else he needed. And a lover he
could trust was something T did need.
And I want
that lover to be me.

T took my hand and kissed it. “That’s
thoughtful of you, Serena, but it’s not necessary.”

“It is for me,” I said more forcefully,
trying to be strong. “I want to give you a gift that means
something, T.”

“All right then,” T said, nodding. “When you
come to me here at my house, that’s just you and I. But when I come
to you at Hayden, that’s on the books, so to speak. Agreed?”

“Agreed,” I said, biting my lip.
Does he not want us to have a relationship? Am I reading his
signals wrong, the way I did Nick?

“Come with me,” T said, taking my hand. “I’ll
make us a fire, and we’ll sleep in front of it for a while. I know
you like that.”

I gave him a smile, and followed him into his
bedroom. For a while we slept, our bodies warmed by the heat of the
flames. But when we awoke, T groaned a little in annoyance.

I looked over at him curiously. “What is
it?”

“I’m hungry,” he said, embarrassed. “And with
the holidays, I forgot to arrange for donors.”

It dawned on me what he was referring to, and
I gave him a smile. “Take some of mine, then.”

T gave me a look of shock. “Did you...had you
wanted me to bite you, Serena?”

Now I was the one blushing. “Um, really, I’ve
kind of wondered why you didn’t. I thought all vampires wanted
blood when they had sex.”

T looked away. “Devlin said it would make the
sex better,” he whispered. “But my father said not to feed on...not
to mix the two.” He gave me a worried look. “I’m the first
dhamphir, Serena, I have no idea what to expect for so many
things!” He cursed, sounding much like Sar did when she was upset.
“I almost wish I was full vampire sometimes, it would make things
easier. I’d know just what I could and couldn’t do.”

I sat closer to him, and took his hand. “Make
love with me, and drink from me,” I offered easily. “I’m not a
human; I’ll heal the blood loss easily. Even if I pass out from it,
I’ll just sleep for a while and awaken.”

T gave me a funny look. “You sure? It’s okay,
if you don’t want to.”

“Do you not like wereblood? I’ve heard your
father doesn’t.”

“I don’t know,” T said, again looking away
uneasily. “I’ve had only human blood, and some of Brian’s, when he
first found me after I escaped from Ulysses’s men.”

“Come try it,” I said, getting to my feet.
“It’s okay either way, T, but I’d like to do this for you, if
you’ll let me.”

T got to his feet, and came with me to the
bed. We were already in robes, so we lay down.

T hesitantly kissed me, and then moved down
my neck. I expected him to do as Devlin had, to kiss me for a few
minutes, and then bite down completely. But he immediately moved
his teeth across my neck in a deft motion, making a small but deep
cut. Then I felt his mouth fastening on me, sucking gently. His
arms tightened around me, and I held him close. Unlike Devlin, he
made no sounds of pleasure, and a few minutes later, he healed my
cut with some of his blood. For some reason, it took him longer to
heal me than Devlin had.
Probably because he’s
only part vampire.

When T drew back from me, he looked much less
tired, and his complexion was almost ruddy. But he didn’t look
especially happy. “Thank you.”

Hadn’t he liked the
taste?
“You’re welcome.”

T held me close, rubbing my shoulder as we
lay there, saying nothing. I wanted badly to ask him if he’d liked
my blood. But because he didn’t say anything, I guessed that he
hadn’t.

Desperate to do something he would enjoy, I
initiated sex with him. He responded immediately to my caresses, as
he always did. The intimacy was good for both of us. But afterward,
I could feel something was different between us, even though T was
as gentle and loving as he’d always been with me.

* * * *

The next morning, I got a surprise. Cia was
in the kitchen, making breakfast. And so were the other female
foxes.

On a previous visit a few years ago, Cia and
another fox, Janice, had verbally attacked me, and Sar had to come
to my defense. Since then, I’d avoided the werefoxes whenever T
wasn’t with me, nervous of a repeat incident. This morning, when I
went out hesitantly to make T some breakfast, they welcomed me. “Hi
Serena,” Janice said, as she mixed up what looked like a batch of
scones. “Come to help?”

“Sure,” I said, taking a bowl and spoon
another woman offered me. I began mixing, and Cia began telling me
some joke that Aran had got from Theo. Just like that, I was
accepted.

Breakfast was a wonderful affair. The table
was crowded, and Brian was doting on the pregnant Demi, getting her
everything as soon as she made to move to get it herself. When
breakfast had been served, Jenny and Theo appeared, smelling of
sex. They said hello to everyone, then sat down and began eating
with gusto. I wanted to say both times that the couples reminded me
of how Devlin and Lash had been with Sar in the mornings where she
had been making breakfast, but held my tongue, knowing to bring up
Sar here wouldn’t be a good idea. Yet I did feel a pang for her,
alone at Hayden with her lovers. These were her former friends, and
it seemed wrong she wasn’t welcome here with them, just because of
the men she loved now.

* * * *

Later that afternoon, when T did his emails,
I readied my things to leave. And Janice stopped me. “You know, you
don’t have to go back there,” she said quietly. “You could stay
here with us, Serena.”

I looked over at her quizzically. “I live
there. My job and all my things are there.”

“You aren’t coyote anymore, you’re all fox.
That means you’re one of us. You belong with your own kind.”

I felt the pull of her words, even as my
animal side assured me that she was right. “But what about my job?”
I gave her a forced smile. “Don’t tell me you want me plying my
trade here, Janice.”

“T would hire you, I’m betting.” Janice said
meaningfully, avoiding my second comment. “Jenny doesn’t mind
housework, but she hates computers, and she does the filing only
under duress. You could take over that job.”

Sar’s old job
. But
when she’d had it, she’d been Oathed to Danial...well, actually,
she hadn’t been, not at first. They’d been lovers, and trying for a
baby, she’d said.
A baby. What would it be like
to be here, to belong here, and not have only T, but a ready-made
family of my own kind, too?

“Serena?”

I snapped back into the conversation out of
my fantasy, before I lost myself in it. “Thank you, but I don’t
want to push things with T, not until...”
Until
what? He tells me he loves me? That he wants to marry me? Is that
what I want? And will it ever come to that, after how last night
seemed?

“Until?”

“Until I think it’s what we both really
want,” I said firmly. “Right now, he seems happy with how things
are. And so am I.”

“Nice earrings,” Janice said, giving me a
pointed grin. “Another woman wore similar ones years ago, and said
kind of the same thing about T’s father. She was Oathed to him a
few months later, and was pregnant with his baby a year and a half
after that.”

I flushed, abruptly told her goodbye, and
walked out to a waiting Rip.

When I got home, I found I had someone
waiting for me, leaning against my door. And it was the last person
I expected to see. “What are you doing here, Nick?”

I was irritated to see that he was just as
appetizing as he’d been the last time I’d seen him. But then, I’d
always liked him in blue.

“Serena, I wanted to come to you, to say I
was sorry,” he said contritely. “I never meant to hurt you.” He
raked his hands through his hair. “I never thought you cared for
me, any more than you care for any of the others. I don’t have any
standing here at Hayden, not any more than I ever had. I’m saying I
know I’m never going to be someone Lash or Devlin asked to do
anything important, or someone they asked for advice.” He paused,
and looked at the wall, as if words were written there.

“And?” I prompted.

“I knew you liked Vince,” he said finally. “I
thought maybe when his contract was up with Devlin, he might leave
and take you with him.”

“Nick, what’s your point?” I cut him off
sharply. “You saying all of this, it doesn’t matter now.”

“It does matter! I need—”

“I don’t care what you need,” I interrupted
flatly. “I have needs, too. And they come first.” I felt an amazing
sense of fulfillment when I said those words. With belated pride, I
realized for the first time, I myself believed them.

“I’m saying I’ll meet your needs,” Nick said,
swallowing hard. “I will be animal for you, if you—”

“You don’t need to,” I interrupted again in a
lilting tone. “T has been taking care of my needs, Nick. All of
them.”

Nick growled low and mean. “I heard that.
Some of the bears are complaining, saying he’s taking up all your
time.”

“I have time for anyone who needs me,” I
countered. “But I never said I wouldn’t have a boyfriend of my
own.”

“I need you,” Nick said earnestly. “And the
truth is...the truth is, I do love you, Serena.”

I’d been feeling so sure, so strong, and the
moment he said the words, I felt all my new armor evaporating,
leaving me pink and defenseless as a newborn cub. “Don’t tell me
lies.”

“I love the quiet way of you,” Nick said in a
rough sexy tone, coming close to me. “I love that you’re gentle,
that you make me breakfast, and fix my clothes.” He paused, and his
next words were full of emotion, enough to almost physically see.
“I love I was your first, that until me, a man hadn’t touched you,
hadn’t even kissed you. I love that most of all.” He came close to
me. “Have you ever loved anyone but me?”

“No,” I whispered, before I was able to lie.
“I—”

Nick cut me off with a passionate kiss. I
kissed him back, melting into him, my longing for him a raging
force that felt like it would swallow me whole.

We made love that day until we were covered
in sweat, and our voices were rough from our cries of passion. And
when he held me close, and asked me to let him come to me again, I
agreed.

Sar, Lash, Dev, and Titus saw Nick and I
later the next morning, as we were finishing breakfast. I heard
Titus make some comment as he took my hand, guiding me from the
kitchen, but took no note of it. My eyes were all for Nick, as he
pulled me into the forest.

Chapter
Fifteen

New Years was a great affair. Devlin threw a
large party, in part I think to celebrate his triumph over Ulysses,
and the return of his brother Danial to the waking world. After
their long drawn out guerilla war that had lasted all fall, Devin
had finally bested Ulysses in a challenge fight via a better
double-cross involving a fight on holy ground. Sar had used her
teleportation skills

which Ulysses was
unaware of

to bring him to Hayden, where
Devlin and Danial had drained him almost to the point of death.
Shortly thereafter, Lash and Sar had burned the newly turned
vampire to death, ending his reign of terror over us.

Nick was manning the gatehouse that night,
and didn’t attend the party. But T was there, and he spent most of
the night in my company, when he wasn’t with his mother, or his
sisters. Everything went well, until it was seven minutes to
midnight, and the shift change happened.

Lash often did that, change shifts at odd
times, so that would-be attackers had no pattern to follow. He also
favored a change early in the evening, so that those watching at
night were fresher. But Lash’s good planning tactics worked
together to ensure that Nick came looking for me the moment he
clocked out, wanting to share a New Year’s kiss like we had last
year. He caught me coming out of the ladies room, and grabbed me
from behind. I let out a shriek of surprise, making him laugh.
“You’re so spooked,” he said in my ear. “I know what you need to
relax you.”