Authors: Shannyn Leah
Tags: #Romance, #Contemporary, #Literature & Fiction, #Contemporary Fiction
Don’t hide it from me
.
That wasn’t fair to ask, when they hardly knew each other, yet knew each other so well.
When he looked back at her, it came with a sharp inhale that he didn’t conceal. This was difficult for him, but had he come to her house to share...or just apologize? Maybe he didn’t want anything more from her, except to say he was sorry.
“My dad has dementia. As I’m sure you already suspected. He’s in the moderate stages, moving rapidly into the last stages. He’s getting worse, faster. I pay Susan and Kelly substantially for my privacy. Their silence.”
An apology and a request to keep her silence. Violet’s heart felt like it was rupturing with each word he spoke. Her heart cracked for the pain he felt, and shattered for the yearning she felt for him. But, right now, he wasn’t offering her anything more.
Violet reached out and touched his bulky arm. He was trembling. “You have you my word, Ryder. I won’t tell anyone.”
He nodded his thanks, and then said, “That’s not why I’m here.”
Why are you here?
“I told you to stop hiding yourself from me, from the world, and face your fears. I waited days for you to figure it out on your own and when you finally showed up, I pulled away and did exactly the opposite of what I preached. My dad is the only person I have left and he’s not even there. I lost him this morning. We were watching television, and I was responsible for him, but I fell asleep and when I awoke, he was gone.” Violet watched the guilt of his blame touch every last area on his face before he continued. “If he had died...”
Violet abandoned her restraint and reached for him. “Ryder, he didn’t die.” He was two steps down, making her a little taller as she hugged him.
He buried himself right into her shoulder again, just as he had at his house, with the same strength and force that stole her breath away. No man had ever needed her like this before or relied on her strength.
“He’s going to die,” Ryder whispered into her hair, sounding like a lost child.
She wished she could assure him that wasn’t the case, only it was. Inevitably, this disease would claim the life of his father. So she said all she could think of, “I’m so sorry, Ryder.”
He pulled away and said, “No, I’m the one who is sorry. I should have never spoken to you the way I did this morning. Ever. I’m so sorry, Violet.”
“I should have never taken you in the bathroom the way I did.” The words were out of her mouth before she had a chance to run them through her filter. If she had, the sentence wouldn’t have been passed along.
Violet gasped, horrified. How inappropriate and uncalled for.
The strained look on Ryder’s face softened and he laughed.
“I shouldn’t have said that.” Violet straightened herself away from Ryder. “I don’t know why I said that.”
Why did you say that?
“Just do not follow it with an apology, because it was the best bathroom sex I’ve ever had.” He lowered his tone and his humor. “It was the best sex I’ve ever had.”
Violet didn’t know what to say. It was the best sex she’d ever had too. Was he here for more than an apology and a friendly, supportive hug? “I’m speechless,” she said.
He chuckled.
“It’s not funny. You always make me speechless. I don’t know why you’re here. Are you here just to apologize? Or did you mean what you said in my office? Or did I lose my chance with you? Please don’t tell me I lost my chance with you. I know I can be difficult and stubborn.”
“You are definitely both of those things.”
“Well, you just say whatever pops into that cute little head of yours and sometimes it just leaves me speechless.” It was frustrating and exciting at the same time and she wanted more of it.
Ryder’s eyes sparkled. “You think I’m cute?”
Violet’s face lightened. “Don’t you fish for a compliment. You know cute is not how women see you.”
Ryder stepped up, putting them at eye level. He rested his arms on either side of the door frame, enclosing them in their own space of solitude. “I’m not interested in how other women see me. I’m only interested in you. Can we stop saying sorry, chasing each other back and forth and spread our true feelings out? So neither of us are confused. I will go first.”
That was good because right now her breath was caught in her throat and all she could think about was kissing him.
“I like you Violet Caliendo, said without condescension. I can’t guarantee I won’t be scared of whatever is going on between us. I’ve never felt for a woman what I feel for you and that honestly scares the shit out of me.” This was exactly what she wanted to hear. “And, yes I want to kiss you right now, but I promised the next time was your turn.”
Her turn? Her turn!
Violet’s fingertips touched his forearms then slid around the strong muscles as she pressed her lips against Ryder’s waiting mouth, for the kiss she’d been dreaming about. It was nothing like any of their other kisses, which were wickedly rough, wild and so out of control neither of them knew what the hell they were doing. This kiss was soft and gentle, just like this side of Ryder. When he went to move away, Violet deepened the kiss, needing to feel his tongue against hers. After spending nights craving this kiss, she never wanted it to end. His kiss took her to a place she’d never been with anyone else.
When they parted, only centimeters away, she grinned at him. “Your turn next,” she teased, expecting one of his deep chuckles that tickled her insides. Instead, his hands dropped from the doorframe and cupped the back of her head, lifting her lips against his, while stepping into the house. Missing her shoes, she was inches shorter than Ryder, but he bent down as they moved backwards and into the hallway of her suite. He’d tossed away his gentle touch, and Violet was finding she enjoyed the raw passionate side of Ryder Carlex.
Violet slipped her hands under Ryder’s shirt, feeling his muscles flex beneath her touch. She wanted him to know that she wanted more than just his kiss. He groaned in understanding and she smiled against his lips. He caught her upper lip in his teeth and pulled, while his hands were moving down her back. His fingers inched the fabric of her dress upwards.
Violet was fully aware that all the curtains in her suite were drawn back to let the skylights above the pool cast the warm sunshine into her suite. They had to get out of the open space, before her whole family saw her butt.
“The hallway.” Was all she needed to say and Ryder picked her up, taking her out of the possibility of family view, Violet wrapped her legs around his middle, plunging her tongue further into his mouth and loving the feel of his warm arms wrapped under her bare legs.
“Which door?” he moaned against her.
Violet bit his upper lip, tugged on it and, in a husky tone, breathed, “Last door.”
Ryder slammed the door shut with his foot and crossed the room to her queen-sized mahogany bed. He laid her on the soft bedding and remembered his sweater hidden underneath. Finally, Violet had the man himself. She’d dreamed of this moment for weeks, thinking it was a delusional fantasy that would never transpire. But here Ryder was, kissing her, carrying her, touching her and it felt so right. She cursed herself for waiting so long to accept what was happing between them. Violet was falling in love with him.
Falling in love...like her happily ever after
.
The thought almost scared her enough to push Ryder away, but his touch kept her grounded and stripped away her alarm.
Violet pulled him down with her. At first, his knees climbed onto the bed with her, and his warm hands pushed the hair away from her face to give him access to kiss her lips, her cheeks, and her throat...then he stopped.
Violet compressed the disappointed moan about to escape her and looked up, expecting to find him smirking and teasing her. He was a charming tease, just like everyone said. Only he was
her
charming tease.
Ryder’s back curved overtop of her. His hands found resting spots on either side of her, instead of stroking her skin. The passion was missing from his face and he wore hesitance that she wasn’t accustomed to seeing.
Violet touched his hands, wondering what had happened in the last ten feet. “What’s the matter?” she asked.
She watched his eyes dart around her bedroom. His eyebrows burrowed together as his moved from her, to the headboard, beside them to where pictures of her children sat on her dresser, across the room where her double closet doors were closed and stopped at the bathroom, staring at the double sink and mirror, then fell on her.
“This is Joel’s room,” he finally said.
Joel’s room?
Violet hadn’t envisioned this room as Joel’s for a long time, or ever. He’d invaded her space with his presence and she’d resented it, that he’d tricked her for money. A lot of nights, more often than not, Joel had fallen asleep on the couch or the spare room, but how would Ryder know that.
“Joel’s house...Joel’s bed...Joel’s...” Ryder didn’t finish, but the way he said it she knew what he was thinking.
Joel’s ex-wife.
Ryder pulled out of her grasp and stood up.
“Ryder, wait...”
When he turned, Violet wasn’t met with the anger she’d thought he was feeling, but instead misery. Her heart ached for him. “I don’t want a quickie with you,” he said.
“That’s not what this is.” Violet slid off the bed and grasped his hands. “That’s not what this is,” she promised. Sliding her hand up his arm, she touched the stubble across the side of his face. “I’m sor−”
She stopped as the word started to leave her mouth. He didn’t want any more apologies.
Alright.
How about promises.
“I like you too, Ryder. A lot. You were right, this is fast and we have been playing a game of back and forth, between our feelings and our titles. I am a Caliendo, just like you labeled me. My whole life I’ve felt like I had this responsibility to do what is appropriate, no matter the damage that might do to my feelings, or my life. We have an image to uphold and you...you are my ex-husband’s friend. The first thing in my head is, ‘How will this look to people? What will they say? How will it affect my family?’”
Violet let her hand fall away from his face to find his other hand.
“But, you got to me in a way no one ever has. I don’t know why or how, since I had it my head that I didn’t like you very much.” Her honesty lifted his lips into the smallest smirk, but it was a start. “Ryder, when you touch me, my heart skips a beat over top of who I thought I had to be. And
thought
is the correct term. I don’t care what anyone
thinks
. Not the staff, not the town, not Joel. I only care about what you think. I don’t want a quickie with you.”
“I am without a doubt falling in love with you,” he said.
He continued like he was reading her thoughts. “My mother always told me I would know when I found the right woman. The one who I couldn’t get off my mind, out of my thoughts, that my body craved and that woman is you, Violet Caliendo.”
Her? How was that possible?
And at the same time she knew she was going down the same path as him.
Violet smiled at him. “If anyone knows the true term of falling in love, it would be your parents,” she said.
Falling in love? This is what it felt like?
No wonder she couldn’t get Ryder out of her thoughts. It wasn’t just a onetime fling in the bathroom, they were falling in love with each other and he was worried she wanted another fling.
“Ryder, will you be my date to my family barbeque?”
“Your date?”
She nodded. “Yes. You’re very slow at asking a girl out,” she teased, with a half smile. She loved how easy it was to tease this man and how much she looked forward to the smile that broke his lips.
Ryder hugged her.
RYDER WAS NERVOUS. He wasn’t sure the last time he remembered feeling nervous, but he sure as hell didn’t like how weak it made him. His legs felt like rubber, ready to collapse with each step, or turn him around and make him run out the door.
What is your problem?
Stepping out the french doors of Violet’s suite led to the incredible indoor pool that Ryder had only heard of through Joel. Palm trees, the brick walls, street lights, that wouldn’t brighten nearly the way the skylights above did, it was as though Ryder had stepped outside. It was the Caliendo’s private tropical getaway.
The ambience should have relaxed him. However, Violet’s family were taking their seats around two tables and would soon be sending him their
what is he doing here
looks.
This atmosphere didn’t help his nerves.
Ryder stuffed his hand in the pockets of his denim pants to keep from reaching out and grabbing the support of Violet’s hands. After the many embraces they’d shared while dealing with his dark times, he knew her touch would calm him. But, they had to take extra cautious steps in their relationship because of her kids.
He was their father’s friend. Would they accept him?
Sophia and Parker liked Ryder, but that was when he was their dad’s friend. How would they feel about him dating their mom? Eventually they would move in together.
Would they be okay with that? Or would they grow to hate Ryder and resent him?
Maybe they were moving too fast. Maybe supper with her family was a too quickly decided mistake and he should retreat.
He felt like he was running and hiding, just as he’d told Violet not to do. Only this was much different.
But was it?
Violet would also carry all his worry; she was their mother after all. Violet loved her children and from the protective stare she cast, he knew all his worries and more would have already crossed her mind too.
As though she sensed Ryder’s apprehension, Violet touched his back. A motion he would much rather do to her, but he was surprised at how much her touch reassured him.
Violet was not a pushover, and her family would be aware this woman did not make decisions lightly. Therefore, she would not have invited him, had she not thought Sophia and Parker were ready.
“They don’t bite,” she said. “Out of all these Caliendos, I’m the scariest. You’ve already won me over, with your cute smile. They’ll be a snap.” She dropped her hand away, but not before sliding it over his rear in a slow, seductive way, and sending him a wink before she stepped in front of him.
He grinned. He couldn’t help it.
This woman was full of surprises and he was ready to discover every last one of them.
Her teasing, that was usually his department, took away some of his uneasiness and made him wonder why he stopped kissing her inside...what a stupid move that had been. Now, all through supper he was going to be back in that bedroom with her kiss and her rear-touching hand would run through his head, through his blood.
“Look who I invited for supper,” Violet called out casually in her strong, solid voice, like she hadn’t just seductively touched him. Her voice didn’t hold an inch of fear about who she was bringing into the Caliendos reclusive area. Then again, she was good at hiding what she didn’t want others to know. She could be as freaked out as he was and would never show it. His gut told him she wasn’t.
All eyes turned to Ryder. Surprise laced each face and Ryder did his best to send a round of smiles personally to each family member. All, except Marc, who half-smiled, but sent him a face laced with doubt, suspicion and accusation.
Ryder’s apprehension returned, slamming full force into every step he took.
“Ryder!” Parker waved as they approached. His light hair was drenched, pooling dark marks on the lime green t-shirt he was wearing. “Have you caught any big fish lately?”
Parker’s voice eased him...a bit.
“Not lately. Haven’t been on the boat.”
I’ve been working, losing my dad and thinking about your mother...haven’t had time to even think about the boat.
“I could go with you next time.”
Sophia elbowed her brother, sliding down beside him. “Cause you were such a big help last time. You didn’t even catch anything. Remember?”
Parker shoved her with his body, but she hardly moved reaching across the table for the ketchup. “I
have
caught fish, Sophia,” he said then looked at Ryder. “I have caught big fish.”
Ryder couldn’t help the grin that took over his face. He’d never had siblings, but he’d been around the Kendricks growing up and the banter between siblings was very much like this.
This isn’t so bad. Yeah, but they don’t know your intentions with their mother yet.
“I believe you buddy. And yeah, you’re welcome on my boat anytime.” That got a huge smile from Parker.
Ryder glanced at Sophia and caught her eyeing him up. She turned away quickly, focusing her attention on her plate.
She suspects my intentions. She hates me.
“Don’t make promises I might take you up on when he gets in a bad mood,” Violet teased.
While Ryder would have preferred to sit in one of the two empty chairs across from Parker and Sophia at the far end of the table, Marc and Kate moved to the opposite side of Rosemary, leaving two empty chairs right in the middle of everyone.
You got this. How many galas and events have you been to your entire life easily interacting with hundreds, even thousands, of people?
Those people weren’t the close-knit family of Violet. Ryder had interacted easily with these Caliendos, but not while he was dating Violet, a daughter, a niece, a sister, and a mother to this close-knit family.
Dating.
He liked the sound of that.
Ryder pulled Violet’s chair out for her before sitting down directly across from Eliza Caliendo.
Where Ryder’s mother had a dark, dramatic look with her deep auburn hair often colored to keep the grey away that coordinated with her red lipstick, Eliza accepted the silver that had taken over her once blonde locks. Against her porcelain skin and bright blue eyes, like Violet’s, she had a softer look about her.
Today, her pursed lips looked like she was pleased but at the same time she was holding in her words. She and Violet not only resembled each other physically, they also dressed similarly in a chic, sophisticated manner.
“Where’s the salad?” Marc asked Violet. There was something in the way he spoke that matched the way he looked at Ryder...full of suspicion.
“Salad?” Violet asked.
“The salad you’ve been preparing for the last fifteen minutes,” Marc said. There was definitely no salad involved with what they’d been doing the last fifteen minutes.
“Oh,” Violet said, as if recalling what she was likely doing before he knocked on the door and distracted her. “The lettuce was bad. Can you believe that?”
“Did you buy it at the Carlex grocers?” Izzy snickered under her breath. Ryder knew better than to take this woman’s snickering to heart. She was, and always had been, the wild, loud, inappropriate sibling of this bunch and Ryder knew her type.
“So Marc, I hear we are short staffed a server,” Violet said. “Maybe Izzy should step in until we find a replacement.” Her head slowly turned to Izzy with a smirk. “Could be a week. Could be a year...”
Carl chuckled. He was sitting beside Eliza, sending Ryder a wide friendly, even welcoming, smile. Ryder had been gone for a year, but he’d heard from Joel, that Marc and Izzy weren’t Robert’s biological children. The truth had only come out the last year or so. It turned out the older couple now rubbing arms together had been having an affair and Carl was Marc and Izzy’s dad.
Emma sat to their right with Parker and Sophia on the other side, watching Ryder with skeptical blue eyes. The blue eyes these women got from their mother were like staring into the blue water on a sunny day.
“Alright,” Eliza said, breaking up the sibling banter. “Ryder, how are you?” she asked.
“I’m good. Thank you.”
“And Donald? How is he? I haven’t seen him in...” Eliza paused and looked at Carl. “It must be coming into two years now,” she said and Carl nodded in agreement.
No one had seen Donald in twenty-two and a half months.
“He’s good,” Ryder said, and, before he could stop himself, he went straight into the rehearsed story he told everyone about redesigning the company. Ryder didn’t come right out and lie, stating that it was his father who was doing the work and most people wouldn’t catch it. However, Violet would catch the omission and guilt built up in him for lying to her family, forcing her to partake in his lie. But what was he supposed to do? He’d promised his dad. Ryder didn’t like it, but he didn’t see another alternative.
“How so?” Marc asked and Ryder sensed his mood change as work-talk was brought around the table.
Ryder could handle work-talk and these people could relate with accurate interest, because they owned and operated their own businesses.
Ryder went straight into describing the changing look of the stores, taking them from the industrial, chrome appearance back to an old country look, with a personal feel. They were neutralizing the atmosphere with a homey feel, while ditching the commercial look. They were adding wood baskets in the produce area and changing the shelves from stark white to honey-colored.
The family listened closely and as he answered questions from each of them, he felt his nerves begin to relax.
What did he think these people were going to do? String him up to a tree and throw rocks at him?
No, but he hadn’t expected them to be so welcoming either.
“It sounds like you are very involved with the process,” Carl observed with an approving nod.
“I am. We hired the Kendricks, my dad’s sister’s family. They are contractors and helping to redesign the new look. I’ve been there every step.”
“Good for you,” Carl said. “It’s nice when the business can stay in the family.”
“My father agrees. He is a huge believer in family sticking together and has instilled his beliefs in me. There is no other place I would rather be, then working with the family chain. It’s been a long line of Carlexs that have built it into the corporation it is today.”
In the olden days, the Carlex Grocer had been a small store on the main street of town. Now they had large box stores across the country.
“With Joel’s wedding, I have been unfortunately forced to communicate back and forth through email, phones and texting. It’s not the same, but we are getting close to finalizing the construction that will take place.”
Ryder hadn’t noticed the mood shift until he finished. The Caliendos all seemed to look away from him. They were looking at their plates, at the kids and at Violet. At first he didn’t know what he said to make every face drop their support and draw their eyebrows uneasily together.
Then it hit him.
Joel. Joel’s wedding.
Idiot.
“Awkward,” Izzy muttered from the end of the table. “Not as awkward as Emma’s dress...”
“Izzy,” almost every Caliendo scolded.
“Ryder?” Rosemary called and Violet bent back so he could look around at the young girl, whose chestnut curls were a dark contrast to the rest of the Caliendo family, obviously getting them from her mother.
“Yes?”
Rosemary squished her nose up and asked, “What do you like to play?”
“Play?” he asked.
“He likes to boat,” Parker said.
“No,” Rosemary said. “I like to play hockey and my Uncle Colt is coaching my team. But I play with girls and boys. So I am a hockey player,” she explained and Ryder grinned, nodding his head but not quite following the girl. “So Aunt Violet called you a playboy...” Ryder slanted an amused look at Violet, while the young girl continued.
Violet couldn’t hide her wide eyes, and her short intake of breath at being exposed by her niece.
“And Aunt Izzy said you only like to play with girls. I was just wondering what you play with the girls?”
A playboy who liked to play with girls.
Ryder might have been insulted, had it not come out of the adorable innocence of Rosemary and her awaiting brown eyes.
Kate gasped and Marc choked.
Izzy couldn’t contain her laughter, but the sound was lost to the rest of the gasps around the table.
Kate began to hush Rosemary.
“That’s alright,” Ryder told Kate, trying his hardest to keep a straight face. It was apparent Violet wasn’t the only one in this family that thought he fancied the
girls.
Violet moved to block Ryder’s path, her eyes apologizing. He gently pulled her shoulders back to catch Rosemary’s eyes. “Rosemary, I guess my favorite thing to
play
...” He couldn’t help but glance at Violet who looked mortified. “...is fishing.”
“Fishing?” Rosemary asked.
“I like fishing too,” Parker said. “And I fished with Sophia and she’s a girl.”
Sophia jabbed his side. “A playboy isn’t someone who plays with girls, you dork,” she told her brother. “A playboy is a rich man who has se−”