Superstar (11 page)

“I’m a club deejay, and, of course, a
Honeychile groupie.”

Sioux had unfortunately just taken a sip of
water when Topher finished that statement. Even in her struggle to
catch her breath she was fascinated by the dark color that rose in
Thad’s face. Topher had a puckish sense of humor and had apparently
decided to take it out on Thad.

“Which one?” Thad finally asked.

“Which one what?” Topher asked as though
confused, but the glint in his eye and half smile told their own
story.

Thad was all but visibly counting to ten
before speaking again. “Which member of Honeychile were you a
groupie for?” he finally got out.

Topher’s grin broadened. “Fortunately, I’ve
never had to choose.”

Sioux opened her mouth to read her friend
for his implication that he could have his way with all the members
of her former band, but Thad cut her off before she could
speak.

“Oh, that is fortunate for you, but things
have definitely changed.”

Sioux stared at Thad now, wondering if the
extraordinarily high level of testosterone had finally unhinged his
mind.

“What are you talking about?” she asked,
forcing her voice to be as pleasant as possible. She wouldn’t give
him what he was obviously asking for, which was her fist upside his
head.

“Just that Topher might be interested to
know that we’ve been sleeping together since the tour began,” Thad
replied.

Topher, ever the game one, managed to look
enraged and amused at the same time. “Is this true, Sioux?”

“Oh for fuck’s sake…” she began when Thad
interrupted.

“Of course it’s true, ask anyone in the
band.”

Topher was doing such a good job acting the
jealous boyfriend that if she hadn’t known better she would have
actually believed his performance.

“Will you please shut up?” she yelled at
Thad. “What exactly is your problem?” At this point, she realized
they had the attention of the whole band. They all had suspiciously
bland expressions, except for Twist who was leaning against a
dressing table doubled over with laughter. Even as she watched, he
collapsed to the floor laughing helplessly.

Sioux stared at the drummer, barely
restraining an urge to kick him in the ribs. She gave Thad a
disgusted look while resisting the impulse to do the same to him.
Instead she jumped up from the chair and grabbed Topher’s hand.

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” she said.
He followed and she walked out of the room, refusing to look at any
of the members of the band.

Sioux stopped in the middle of the corridor,
staring at the door to her room and scarcely believing that Thad
was sitting on the floor outside her door.

“What on earth are you doing here? It’s two
in the morning. Have you been here all night?”

He rose to his feet in one elegant motion.
“Wanted to make sure you got home okay. I was worried about you. I
tried to call…”

She knew that. She’d deliberately ignored
his calls and texts. “I was otherwise occupied.”

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

Sioux pressed her head against the cool wood
panel of the door to her room, resisting the urge to bang it. Hard.
“Why on earth would I do that? Didn’t you just kick me out of your
bed?”

“You know why I did that.”

Actually she didn’t have a clue, and at this
point she was beginning to wonder why she gave a damn. “So why are
you here?”

“Just because we’re not sleeping
together…”

“We never were sleeping together. I still
can’t believe you told Topher that!”

“You slept with him, didn’t you? Is that why
you’re so worried about what I said?”

“That’s right Thad. I slept with Topher. I
slept with Bryan. I slept with Jon. I slept with Bobby Tom. I slept
with Rocky. And yes, they all had bigger dicks than you do.”

“Really? Even Rocky?” he asked with a raised
brow.

“Especially Rocky,” she said through gritted
teeth.

“Ooh, that’s harsh,” he said with an amused
twist of his lips.

Sioux sucked her teeth, he had to be the
only man on earth who would find that funny. “Did I leave anybody
out? Maybe the cabbie? The doorman? The bellman was really cute. We
had an adorable waitress at dinner last night.”

He stared down at her. “What about Twist?”
he asked, amusement giving his eyes an unholy glow.

“Fuck no, I didn’t sleep with that psychotic
leprechaun. A girl has to have some standards,” she said with an
eye roll for added emphasis.

His laughter echoed down the empty hallway.
“Look, can I come in? Do you really want to have this conversation
out in the hall when anybody can come by?”

“Apparently you didn’t care. You’ve been
sitting out here like my mother.”

“Well, unlike you, I couldn’t talk the desk
clerk into giving me a key.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t ask Rocky.”

“I considered that, but I thought maybe you
didn’t want everyone knowing about us.”

“Us? There is no us. You made that plain the
other night.”

“I’d like to talk about that. Can I please
come in?" he asked again, his voice had dropped in pitch to a husky
whisper that was hard to resist.

She leaned her head against the door; the
cool surface soothed her nerves and helped her resist the urge to
take him up on his offer. But that was the problem, what exactly
was he offering? No, she'd had enough. “Why are you so deranged? No
Thad, you cannot come in. I’ve had enough of your crap. Blowing hot
and cold like I’ve got nothing better to do. Either you want me, or
you don’t. When you decide maybe then I’ll let you in. Then again,
I might not.” And with those words she opened the door to her room
and went inside, closing it softly behind her.

“You look like hell.”

Sioux peered up at Thad with eyes that felt
as though she’d spent the night driving through a sandstorm. Maybe
she had. She certainly hadn’t spent it sleeping. They’d got to
Vancouver the previous day and this morning’s sound check wasn’t
going particularly well. She coughed, wincing at the hollow sound
before she replied.

“Thanks Thad. I know I can always count on
you to tell me what I already know.” The sharpness of her retort
would’ve been more effective had it not ended with another spate of
coughing.

“You can’t sing tonight.”

“I’ve been a professional singer since I was
twelve. Do you think this is the first time I’ve had a cold?”

“Yeah, but you’ve got a fever,” he said
placing a cold hand against her forehead.

Sioux closed her eyes briefly and leaned
against his hand. His cool dry palm felt so good. Then she moved
away. “Your hand is not a thermometer. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine and you’re not going on.
Where’s Rocky?”

Sioux grabbed his arm before he could walk
away.

“Wait, you can’t do this. If I don’t go on
tonight everybody will think I’m using again,” she said.

“What? We’ll just tell them you have a cold,
or they can just look at you and tell.”

“You know that won’t work. Do you know how
many “colds” and hospitalizations I had for “exhaustion” that last
year?” she asked making finger quotes. “Everyone knew. If I start
that again it’s all over. This is my last shot, Thad. You can’t
take it away from me.”

Thad wrapped his arms around her into a
close embrace.

“Jesus, Sioux, you’re burning up.”

“I’ll go back to my room. Lots of rest and
fluids and I’ll be fine by tonight. We have only one show here,
then it’s back to L.A. I’ll have plenty of time to recover. Just
let me have this one night. Please,” she begged looking up into his
gaze. He took a long time to answer and she almost panicked. Just
when she thought he would refuse he finally responded.

“Okay, I’ll take you up to your room now,”
he said.

“But what about sound check?”

“They’ll manage. They can finish without
us.”

Sioux stood on the stage the crowd singing
along with her, but it seemed like they were far away through a
dimly lit tunnel, the walls of which kept spinning in one direction
then reversing to spin in the other. The lights were behaving oddly
too, and she wished they would stop flickering the spotlight on and
off, or at least get in sync with the spinning of the walls. The
dichotomy was nauseating. The sound rang hollow, as though
underwater and she strained to hear them. She could hear her own
voice in the headset and she wondered at her ability to sing when
it felt as though her throat was on fire and her head had ballooned
to twice its normal size. The last was the worst, though feeling as
though she had a furnace scorching her flesh from the inside
challenged for a close second.

Just one song. Just one more and she could
rest. She looked toward the wings where Thad waited for her. For
some reason he looked frantic then he began running toward her. She
swayed on her feet as clammy sweat beaded her forehead. Just one
more song. Then rest…

The floor felt incredible. The irregular
boards of the stage's hardwood floors were cool beneath her fevered
cheek. From around her she could hear voices. So many voices.
Shouts. Screams. Whispers. Then hands were lifting her from the
floor. There was a hollow thud. Wait. Her guitar. Had she fallen on
it? Damn it, she loved that guitar. Her folks had given it to her
when she was just a kid. Despite her distress she couldn’t muster
the will to protest the abuse of the favored instrument.

She knew immediately it was Thad who was
carrying her backstage with Rocky walking and talking a mile a
minute beside him. She turned in his arms until her head rested in
her favorite spot, between his neck and shoulder. There, surrounded
by evidence of his sinewy strength she rested. Thad would take care
of her.

“Let’s get her to her dressing room. The
ambulance should be here any moment,” Rocky said.

Ambulance? No. Wait. Her voice barely came
out in a croak as she tried unsuccessfully to raise her head.

“It’s okay, baby,” Thad said. “We’re getting
you to the hospital.”

She tried again. “No ambulance. The
paparazzi—”

His stride didn’t slow. “Jesus, Sioux! That
shit again? I should never have listened to you in the first place.
You are going to the hospital," he said in a tone that brooked no
argument. Sioux tried to think of something else to say, but it was
all she could do to remain conscious. Thankfully they reached her
dressing room before long and Thad placed her on a small sofa.

“Lie here until the ambulance gets here,”
Thad said as he handed her a bottle of water. It felt so good, so
refreshing. She was so thirsty some of it dribbled out of her mouth
as she gulped it down.

She knew he was there before she even opened
her eyes, though for a moment she wasn’t sure where she was. The
whirring of machinery and the antiseptic smell were the only clues
she needed. Hospital. She wished she wasn’t so well acquainted with
them. She opened her eyes slowly, grateful that some kind soul had
dimmed the lights. Her gaze landed on Thad who was slumped down in
a bedside chair, dozing. Then she became aware that her mouth felt
as though she’d been eating cotton balls. She pushed the button to
raise the head of her bed. The sound brought Thad immediately
awake. Momentary confusion clouded his amazing eyes, then he
smiled

“Welcome back. I’ll bet you’re thirsty.”

“A bit,” she said not sure what to make of
his presence. They hadn’t been on the best of terms lately.

He rose from the chair and walked over to
the bedside table. He picked up a glass and poured water for her.
The tinkling ice signaled it would be a chilled beverage. She took
the glass with a murmur of gratitude and sucked on the straw until
the cup was nearly drained.

“What time is it?”

Thad glanced at his watch. “Nearly
three.”

“Oh my God, you must be exhausted. Did you
miss the show?” Now wouldn’t that be a monumental fuck up? It was
bad enough she’d passed out on her set, but to have ruined the
whole show.

“No. We performed. Then I came over here to
see about you.”

“And they let you stay?”

“Rocky.” And really, no more explanation was
necessary. The woman was a force of nature. People simply did as
she asked, including every member of the band. Nobody dared cross
Rocky.

Easy tears came to Sioux’s eyes. “I’m so
sorry.”

“For what?” he asked with his trademark
irritation.

“I promised not to let you guys down.”

He raised his eyes heavenward for a brief
moment as though hoping for divine intervention. “It’s not like you
went out and scored. You got sick. It happens, especially on the
road. Stress. Lack of sleep. Bad food. I know I don’t have to tell
you what all that does to your immune system.”

Sioux sighed, and relaxed against the
pillows. “So what’s wrong with me?”

“Doc said it started out as flu. Now you’ve
got pneumonia in one lung. Dehydration, and, of course,” he paused
with a rueful grin, “Exhaustion.”

Sioux groaned. “They told you this?”

“Nope. They told Rocky. She told us.”

So much for privacy regulations. “No one’s
going to believe it. They’ll think I’m using again. That I OD’d
again. Fuck.”

He placed a hand on her shoulder. “Baby,
it’s okay--”

“No, it’s not okay. I know I brought this on
myself.”

“For fuck’s sake. Stop kicking your own ass.
There are whole blogs devoted to doing that for you. So you screwed
up when you were a kid. You didn’t hurt anybody but yourself. You
work harder than anyone I know, including me.”

Sioux sighed heavily. Too weary to even try
to struggle through the issues at the moment. “How long will I be
here? When can I go back to work?”

“Doctor said you could probably go home
tomorrow. Rocky called your folks. They’ll be here first thing to
take you home,” he said. “But no more singing for at least a month.
I don’t think you could sing now if you tried.”