Surrender my Heart (The Subzero Series)

Surrender my Heart

Subzero Series Novelette

Rebecca Elise

Published by Rebecca Elise

Copyright © 2013 Rebecca Elise

Cover by RE Publishing

Cover Photo by Roman Barelko

This novel is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to
people either living or deceased is purely coincidental. Names, places and
characters are figments of the author’s imagination. The author holds all
rights to this work. It is illegal to reproduce this novel without written
expressed consent from the author herself.

All Rights Reserved

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The
author recognizes the copyrights or trademark status and trademark owners for
the following brands mentioned in this work of fiction : Rickenbacker, Ovation,
Johnny Walker Black Label, Jack Daniels.

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I
am so knackered. I literally feel as
though I could sleep for days, if not weeks. If we aren’t at the recording
studio working on our new album, we are rehearsing for shows and today is no
exception. This will be a tough rehearsal to get through though because we have
the next few days off. I love what I do and wouldn’t trade it for the world but
I am looking forward to the down time and to spending time with my girlfriend,
Chloe.

Chloe.

Just the thought of her makes me smile
like a fool. I know it’s still a newish relationship but I haven’t felt this
strongly about someone in a long time. She’s beautiful and smart and she puts
up with our array of ridiculousness without breaking a sweat. Speaking of ridiculousness...I
glance at the clock. It’s time to go meet the boys at Dean’s house. I grab my
black and white Rickenbacker and gently slide it into my black mono case. I
slip a couple of picks into the side pocket and pick it up, slinging the straps
over my shoulder. Then, after shoving my cellphone into my pocket and grabbing
my keys, I am on my way.

I open up my door and am surprised to
see an overly tanned, somewhat muscular guy sitting on the floor, leaning up
against the door to Chloe’s flat. He is busy scrolling on his cellphone and
doesn’t glance up as I walk into the hall. I quickly lock my door and turn back
to face him.

“Hello there mate,” I say. “Can I help
you with something?”

He peeks up, gives me an odd look and
returns to playing with his cellphone. “No.”

Okay.....let’s try this again.

“Mind if I ask who you are waiting for?”

“I’m waiting for you to mind your own
business. Does that count?”

“It is my business when you’re leaning
up against my girlfriend’s door.”

The guy furrows his brow. “Didn’t Abby
just get here? I mean the girl can move fast but.....wow!” He widens his eyes,
blows out his breath and shakes his head.

“Abby isn’t my girlfriend. Her sister,
Chloe, is.”

A pained look crosses the blonde guys
face for a second before he bursts into laughter. “Oh that’s rich. That’s just
rich!”

Now I’m confused.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” I ask.

“Oh where
are
my manners?” He
jumps up to his feet and extends his hand out to me. “Names Connor Scott. I’m
Chloe’s fiancé.”

“Rubbish.” I say.

“You really think that a hot little thing
like Chloe wouldn’t have someone waiting at home?” Connor shakes his head and
rolls his eyes. “Okay, clearly you did. Look.....what’s your name?”

“Jack”

“Look, Jack, I’m not sure what bullshit
Chloe has been feeding you but we got engaged a couple months ago.”

Connor presses a few buttons on his
cellphone and turns it around to me. On the screen is a picture of him and
Chloe. He is holding up her left hand, which is sporting a massive diamond on a
very important finger. They both look unbelievably happy.

My heart drops into my stomach. Could
she really be engaged to another man? No. there’s no way she would do that to
me.

“I take it by the look on your face she
hasn’t mentioned me.”

“No, not once.”

Connor’s brow furrows and his mouth turns
down into a frown. “Well, you seem like a nice guy, Jack, so I’m going to give
it to you straight up like she should have done. Chloe and I have been together
for a few years. We lived together back in New York and we got engaged in January.
We’re getting married next year and then I’m moving here to be with her. I’m
sorry if she led you on. She’s always been a little boy crazy.”

Then, to add insult to injury, Connor
scrolls on his phone again and shows me a copy of their engagement announcement
that had appeared in the newspaper.

“Did she know you were coming here?” I
ask.

“Do you think I’d be sitting out in the
hall if she did? No, I wanted to surprise her.”

I study his face, praying his smile will
somehow falter and he will admit this was a joke, but he doesn’t. It is taking
every ounce of willpower that I possess to not punch the smug look off of his
face. That’s what I really want to do. I want to haul off like a raging lunatic
and hit him. I have to get away from him. I turn away and push through the
doors leading to the stairs.

This is unbelievable. It’s Courtney
Billings all over again. Courtney was my last girlfriend. We dated for a year
and I was sure she was the one. I thought she felt the same way about me until
she came to one of our shows with
her husband
. God I felt like such an
idiot. An entire year and I had no idea she was married! She spent numerous
nights with me at my flat. We went on holiday with my mum and dad for god
sakes. When I asked her why, she told me it was because her husband worked a
lot and she needed someone for when he wasn’t around. She said she was just
looking for a boy toy to keep her sheets warm at night and she didn’t think we
would fall for each other. Then she has the nerve to ask me if I would consider
continuing to see her behind her husband’s back. She said she loved me so much
and didn’t want to let me go.  I asked her if she loved me so much than why was
she still with him. She said it was because she loved him too and she was
“taken care of” which meant she didn’t have to work. I told her I didn’t share
my girlfriends with anyone and walked away but I was weak and ended up going
back to her.

One night shortly after that, I was out
and I ran into her friend, Nan. Nan told me she couldn’t watch this dramatic
mess any longer and that is when I realized the full extent of Courtney’s lies.
For starters, her name wasn’t even Courtney. It was Gillian. Courtney was the
name of her daughter. That’s right, her daughter! She had two freaking kids!
Apparently, she had been dropping them on Nan when she was with me. The only
bit of truth that she even told me was that her husband traveled a lot for work.

The more I think about it, the more the
two situations seem alike to me and I begin to dwell and dwell on it until I
can’t see any different between Courtney and Chloe. I’m not going to be anyone
else’s replacement. I did that once and it sucked. I have to protect myself
this time.

By the time I get to Dean’s, my mood has
going from being bad to being furiously worse. My cell phone goes off just as I
get out of my truck. I pull my phone out and glance at the display.

Chloe.

Hitting the ignore button, I shove my
phone back into my pocket. I yank my guitar bag out of the backseat of my truck
and fling it over my shoulder so harshly I am surprised that the strap didn’t
break. A string of profanities fly out of my mouth as I angrily stomp my way
into Dean’s house and down to his basement.

“Whoa!” Dean exclaims as I slam the door
shut behind me.

I flash him a dirty look.

“Hey now, who took a tiny tinkle in your
afternoon tea princess?” Tyler asks.

I shot him an even dirtier look.

My cellphone rings again.

Chloe.....again.

Ignore.

“Are we playing or what?” I ask angrily.

“You want to talk about whatever it is
that has your knickers in a bunch? Noah asks.

“Nope.”

“Okay.....let’s just play. If he decides
he wants to talk, he’ll talk.” Dean says.

We get our instruments set up and Tyler
counts us in by tapping his sticks on his drums.  We are only playing for about
a minute when everybody stops and stares at me. That’s when I realize I’m not
even playing the right song.

“You know what,” I say. “I’m just not
into this today.”

I don’t want to give them the chance to
say anything so I grab my case and walk out. I don’t bother putting my bass in
it until I get to my truck.

I probably should have just stayed. At
least I would have given myself an opportunity to get my mind off of everything
for a little while. It would have only been a matter of time, though, before
they started a full on interrogation as to why I was in such an unusually foul
mood and I didn’t want to go there. I didn’t want to go there with anyone right
now including her. I know she’s going to call again but I don’t want to talk to
her. Not until I figure out what to say to her anyway.

Chapter Two

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I
t’s been a couple of days and she is
still calling me and I am still ignoring her. I still don’t know what to say to
her. My head and my heart are so conflicted. My head says I should talk to her
but my heart doesn’t want to be destroyed by her and her omissions.

I need to get out of my flat. I can’t
think properly here plus I need to apologize to my band mates for my behavior
the other night. They haven’t tried to talk to me and I can’t say that I blame
them. I acted like a first class ass.

The lift is broken again – big surprise
– so I head to the stairs. As soon as I start down them, I see her walking up.

Perfect.....this is just perfect.

I try to look at her but all I can see
is Courtney’s – Gillian’s – face. I can’t look at her without thinking about
husbands and fiancés and lies, lies, lies!

She awkwardly asks me what time we are
meeting for that charity thing and I rudely tell her we aren’t.

Her face falls.

My heart aches.

I have to tell her that I know her
little secret but once those words leave my mouth that’s it. There’s no coming
back from that.

“Well I think maybe you should go with
your fiancé.” I say.

She starts to say something but I’m not
even listening to her. I just start yelling at her. She tries a couple of times
to explain but I just keep cutting her off. I’m being a total jerk, I know I
am. I finally look at her and see the tears welling up in her eyes. My heart
constricts. For a moment I feel bad but then all of the sudden...I don’t. She
knows what’s coming, or she at least has an idea, I can see it on her face.

“I really, really liked you Chloe.” I
hear myself saying. “I’m just...I can’t do this. I can’t be the other guy, some
fling, your replacement boyfriend. I’m done...We’re done.”

Chloe starts to cry as she pushes past
me and runs up the steps.

I feel numb. There is a part of me that
wants to run after her and take it all back but I did that once before and I
was the one that ended up brokenhearted and alone. I know I hurt her. I’m
hurting too.

I walk outside to my truck and stand
there for a moment leaning on my forearms against the truck bed. I want to
scream and curse and let the entire world know how I feel. Instead I straighten
up and start kicking the hell out of my tires.

“Well this seems like an unfair fight. Poor
tire can’t even defend itself from a strapping young lad such as yourself.”
Tyler says as he appears next to me. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on
now?”

“Nope.”

“Heard you guys broke up.”

“Yup.”

“She seems to be pretty gutted.”

“She’s not the only one.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You might feel be-“

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.”
I yell out, cutting him off.

“Okay, okay. So what do you want to do?”

“Get completely pissed and forget this
day ever happened.”

“Ahhhh, so consume loads of alcohol and
wallow in the pool of loathing and self-pity. Count me in.”

Tyler runs around to the side of my
truck and jumps in the passenger seat. I climb in the driver’s seat, turn the
truck on and the sounds of Coldplay immediately starts flowing through the
speakers. Chloe’s favorite band. I reach over and switch the radio off. I don’t
want anything right now that will make me think about her. Not that switching
off the radio really helps. I don’t think it matters what I do. She’s still on
my mind. They may not be the best thoughts at the moment, but still.....she’s
there.

“So where are we going?” Tyler asks as I
maneuver my truck out of the parking lot.

I think for a moment. “Mariano’s.”

Tyler’s face sours. “Why on earth would
you pick there?”

“Because I know
she
won’t show up
there.”

“
She
still has a name and trust
me when I say that girl isn’t leaving her bedroom let alone her flat.”

I don’t say anything to that.

Mariano’s is a bar located in the dodgy
part of town. Not somewhere I usually hang out but they play a lot of heavy
metal and loud, angry music is what I need right now. We open the door and are
hit by the musty scent of dust and booze. It’s just about supper time so there
isn’t a live band playing yet but there is a DJ, or someone who is acting like
one anyway, on hand to keep the mood about the place sullen and angsty. The
lighting is dim which only adds to the grim and grimy ambiance. The sound of
balls knocking together rings through the air between drum beats and guitar
riffs as a couple of people play at the billiards tables off to the right side
of the bar. There is only a handful of people occupying the bar area. Tyler and
I pick the two stools that are the farthest away from everyone.

A middle aged bartender with greasy
graying hair and an obvious beer belly walks over to where are sitting.

“What can I getcha?” He grunts out.

“I would like a pint of the best ale ya
got in the place” Tyler says, flashing the bartender a toothy grin.

He’s way too damn chipper.

The bartender thinks so too. He raises
an eyebrow and gives Tyler an odd look before turning to me.

“And you?”

“Two shots of Johnny Walker Black.”

The bartender nods and walks away.

Tyler and I sit there in silence. He is
drumming his finger tips on top of the bar and judging by the look on his face,
I’d guess he was trying to think of something to say. I wish he wouldn’t. I
don’t really want to talk.

The bartender sets our drinks on the bar
in front of us, spilling a little bit of beer as he does. I immediately pick up
my shots and down them. Before the bartender has the chance to walk away, I
grab his arm.

“Two more.” I say.

He looks back and forth between me and
Tyler but doesn’t say anything. He just nods his head and turns to grab the
bottle.

“You sure about this?” Tyler asks. The
obvious concern for me and my actions is radiating from his eyes.

I nod as the bartender sets two new
shots in front of me. I down them as quickly as I did my first two, barely
flinching at the nasty taste as I told up two fingers to let him know I want two
more shots.

“I’m not gonna have any problem out of
you two am I?” He asks.

“No, sir, no trouble from us. You have
my word. This poor bloke here is just mending a broken heart is all.” Tyler
says holding his hands out in front of himself and then pointing at me.

“All right.....two more but after this you
may want to slow down a little bit.”

I nod only half listening and half
caring about what he is saying to me.

He brings me two more shots and I down
them.

“Want to talk yet?”

“Not even a little.”

“Alright, I’m going to step out and give
Abby a ring. I just ran out on her when Chloe came in crying. Just want to let
her know I’m gonna stay with you. Be right back.”

I give Tyler a two fingered salute as he
slides off of the barstool and walks away. A song flows out over the speakers
that I have never heard before. It’s haunting and beautiful and it causes my
heart to numb just from the sound of the piano being played at the very
beginning. I’m almost surprised to hear this sort of song being played in a
place like this. It makes me wonder if someone specifically requested it. Glancing
around the bar, I see a drunk girl fiddling with the straw in her drink as she
sings along to the music. I guess I’m not the only person in here nursing a broken
heart tonight.

Tyler slaps his hand on my back as he
hops back onto the barstool next to me. “Alright, got things squared away with
the little woman and I am yours for the evening. What are you gawking at?”

He follows my eyes to the girl who was
singing, but is now doing more crying into her drink than anything else.

“Please tell me you aren’t looking for a
rebound.”

I roll my eyes and give him a disgusted
look. “No, of course I’m not. That’s not what this is about.”

“So what is it about then?”

“It’s about thinking you have something
and someone and finding out that something and someone were never really yours
to begin with.”

“I’m sorry, not following you.”

“I need another drink.”

Tyler studies my face for a second before
motioning the bartender over with two fingers. He leans in and says something
to him and the bartender nods. He walks away and returns moments later to slide
a drink in front of me.

“What’s this?”

“Jack and Coke but if you intend on
drinking it, you need to give me your keys.”

I reach into my pocket, grab my keys out
and hand them over.

“On second thought, I want your
cellphone too.”

“For what?” I ask.

“Because right now you are hurting and Chloe
is hurting. I don’t want you to get completely plastered and decide it to be a
good time to ring her up or text her. God knows what you would say in your
current state so, phone – let me have it.”

Reluctantly, I reach into my pocket,
pull out my phone and hand it to him. I drink my Jack and Coke almost as
quickly as I did my shots. I order another one, which then turns into me
ordering a couple more.

“Thissss tastesss funny. Why you think
thisss tassstesss funny?” I ask, slurring my words as I hold my glass up to
Tyler.

“Probably because there is no alcohol in
that one. It’s just a glass of cola.”

“Why he givessss me jussst cola?”

“Because I asked him to give you less
and less alcohol every time you ordered a drink. Hey, how bout we get you
home.”

“Noooo. Not to my building.”

“Why not?”

“Becausssse Ty-lurrrr my building has
fiancés and pretty girlssss that I want who aren’t miiiine.”

Tyler helps me stand up and puts his arm
across my back, underneath my arms, as he helps guide me towards the truck.

“Would this pretty girl you speak of be named
Chloe by any chance?” He asks me.

I reach over and touch the tip of his
nose like people do in charades to let him know he guessed right. “Youuuuu got
it.”

Tyler pulls the passenger’s door open
and sort of shoves me in there and slams the door shut. The sound hurts my head
and I clench my eyes closed.

“Alright,” Tyler says as he jumps into
the driver’s seat and starts the truck. “You can stay at my place but you’re
sleeping in the bathroom. I’m not cleaning up after you if you yak up about the
place.”

Tyler hits a bump and my stomach
lurches. I feel like I am going to be sick. It must read on my face because I
can hear him yelling at me to stick my head out the window. He sounds so far
away. Like Chloe. She’s so far away from me right now. I can’t get the image of
her crying out of my head. I never thought I would make her cry like that but
it’s too late. What’s done is done and I can’t take that back. What’s even more
messed up is that I’m not even sure I want to.