Surrender To Sultry (22 page)

Gluten? Colt didn’t even know what that was. And how was it related to wheat?

“Can I have something in it?” Noah asked, pointing to the maple syrup and an assortment
of jelly packets.

Diane dug inside her purse and produced a tiny plastic bottle. “Here, I packed some
organic honey.” She handed it to Noah, and he drizzled it over his oatmeal without
a single complaint, even though the stuff looked like gruel.

Gluten-free oats, organic honey, diced fruit, and herbal tea? Was this the kind of
breakfast Noah ate every day? Colt thought back to all the times he’d let Emma nosh
on Pop Tarts and glazed doughnuts, giving her a jug of Sunny D to wash it all down.
His sister had always yelled at him about sugar and preservatives, but the way he’d
figured it, the cherry filling counted as a serving of fruit. Besides, his parents
had let him eat junk once in a while, and he’d survived.

Colt brought a forkful of eggs to his mouth and froze when he noticed Noah lay a napkin
across his lap. He hurried to do the same before the boy assumed his “birth father”
was a redneck cretin. Not only was Noah smart and well-nourished, but he had impeccable
manners too. Colt felt a flash of shame, but he snuffed it out. Maybe he would’ve
fed Noah too much sugar and let him rest his elbows on the table. Maybe he’d have
allowed the boy to slack off in school now and then, but that never killed anyone.
He would’ve been a good father in other ways if Leah had given him the chance.

While Colt was busy brooding to himself, a family of four settled loudly in a nearby
booth. He didn’t pay them much mind, but Noah kept turning around to watch the two
kids sitting opposite their parents. The boy and girl kept needling each other—just
your standard sibling rivalry—until their dad hollered at them to shut up. They mouthed
off in a way that would’ve earned most kids an ass whoopin’ in these parts, but then
they pulled out a pair of handheld video games and sweet silence ensued.

Noah asked his mom, “How come
they
get to play their DSs at the table and I can’t?”

Diane leaned to the side and glanced at the kids in question, then simply stated,
“Because I’m not their mother.”

Noah turned to Leah, but she cut him off before he got a single word out. “You know
better than to ask me.”

Then Noah bit his lip and blinked up at Colt. Personally, Colt didn’t see the harm
in kids playing video games in public. It kept them quiet and let the adults talk.
But the glare Leah was firing from the other end of the table told him to shut Noah
down fast, so he shook his head and tried to remember the trick his sister was always
talking about—redirecting.

He turned Noah’s attention away from video games by asking, “What kind of stuff do
you like doing back home?”

Noah lit up and started talking about Japanese animation. Colt was pretty sure the
boy was speaking English, but he had his doubts. Names like Pikachu, Polywag, Weedle,
and Magnemite flew at him at a thousand words per minute, forcing Colt to nod thoughtfully
and pretend he had a clue what Noah was saying. But he listened patiently, entertained
by his son’s passion for battle arenas, whatever those were.

The next topic was more Colt’s speed. Jim mentioned that Noah had taken the remote
control apart and put it back together at age five, and then Noah filled him in on
his favorite hobby—building motorized racing boats with his dad. The two would spend
all year tweaking the engine performance before traveling to an annual showdown to
race the competition. They’d never won, but Colt could tell from the admiration in
Jim’s eyes that victory wasn’t the point. It was all about father-son bonding, like
the fishing and hunting trips Colt had taken with his own dad.

Colt felt a stirring of envy and gratitude for Jim. It rubbed him the wrong way to
hear his son refer to the man as “Dad,” but as time passed, he began to see all the
ways Jim had made Noah the center of his universe. Would Colt have done the same?
Would he have put his child first? At seventeen, his whole world was football. Even
Leah had come in second place behind the team. He wanted to believe he would’ve manned
up, but the truth was he wasn’t much of a man back then.

“Do you build stuff too?” Noah asked, drawing Colt away from thoughts he didn’t want
to explore.

“Sure, always have,” he said. “I started rebuilding a motorcycle when I was in high
school. Got it running better than new.”

“Is it fast?”

“Faster than a greased bullet.”

That spurred a discussion about pistons and gear shafts. It made Colt proud to know
his son had inherited an aptitude for mechanics from him. At least he’d been able
to contribute something to the life of this remarkable boy.

Colt never imagined it could happen so quickly, but he fell in love with Noah over
the course of that long meal. Leah was right when she’d called Noah sweet. That wasn’t
typically a word Colt used to describe boys, but it fit. Noah had a gentle spirit.
He spoke respectfully to his mama, he said
please
and
thank
you
, and he didn’t whine. He wasn’t perfect. Like all kids, he tried to push the line
when he didn’t get his way, but compared to Colt at that age, Noah was an angel.

Just
like
his
mother
.

Colt didn’t want it to be true, but he couldn’t deny that Leah and the Ackermans had
shaped Noah into a fine young man. That didn’t mean he was happy about missing his
son’s first decade, but he began to understand what was best for Noah, and it wasn’t
uprooting him from his parents for half the school year.

“Look at Miss Leah.” Noah tugged on Colt’s shirtsleeve and stared at the other end
of the table. “Why’s she so sad all the time?”

Colt turned to find her staring out the window with her chin in her hand while Jim
and Diane carried on a side conversation. With her blond waves catching the morning
sun, she looked beautiful but broken, so heartsick that his breath caught. He said,
“She’s probably just tired,” but that was a lie. He’d been flogging her all week,
stomping her down until he’d smothered the happiness she’d found here.

“I wanna make her feel better.” Noah stood and pulled a small plastic ball from his
pocket. “I traded my friend for a new Pokemon. It’s a powerball—it beats almost everything.
I’ll battle her, but I’ll let her use this and she’ll win. I always feel better when
I win.”

“That’s real nice of you,” Colt said. “You should hug her too. Girls like that kind
of thing.”

Noah made a
yuck!
face. “The girls at my school like kisses too, but that’s gross.”

Colt chuckled, remembering a time when he’d felt the same way. He watched Noah present
his toy to Leah and sling his arms around her neck. Her ivory face brightened, brimming
with love for their boy. The sight made Colt’s heart swell. Add
compassion
to the list of Noah’s virtues, something Colt couldn’t have taught him at seventeen
because he’d been a selfish bastard in boots. Hell, sometimes he still was. He probably
would’ve ruined that sweet boy.

“I have an idea,” Leah said to everyone. “Why don’t I take Noah to meet his granddad—uh,
I mean Pastor Mac—while you guys chat?”

Colt shared a glance with Jim and Diane. He’d been dreading this part of the meeting,
but they did need to iron out a plan for the future.

“That sounds fine,” Jim said. “Why don’t you bring him back here in…” he tipped his
head at Colt, “what? An hour?”

“An hour sounds good,” Colt agreed. He waved at Noah. “Maybe when you come back, I
can take you on a tour of the station.” He realized too late that he should have cleared
that with his parents first. “I mean, if it’s okay with your mom and dad.”

Jim grinned, but the sentiment didn’t reach his eyes. “Let’s see how our schedule
looks.”

In other words:
Let’s see if we’re friends or enemies
.

Colt couldn’t blame him for being protective. Any good father would do the same.

Leah took Noah by the hand and led him into the parking lot. Before she disappeared
from view, she gave Colt an encouraging smile as if to repeat,
I
do
have
faith
in
you
. It left him with a sense of warmth he didn’t want to feel for her.

An awkward silence hung in the air for a few seconds. Diane was the first to break
it by clearing her throat and nervously folding and unfolding her hands on the tabletop.

“Before we begin,” she said, “I want you to know that we never would’ve pursued the
adoption if we’d known you wanted to parent Noah. We had no idea.”

“I know,” he said. “Leah already told me.”

Diane pressed a hand to her chest. “Still, I feel responsible on some level. She was
so skittish back then—completely terrified. Those first few weeks, she barely spoke
a word. I should’ve known something was wrong.”

Colt remembered the picture Leah had shown him last week. He hadn’t told her so, but
the most striking part of the image wasn’t her round pregnant belly. It was her eyes—haunted
and vacant.

It hadn’t occurred to him until right now, but he’d put that look in her eyes. As
a teen, he’d selfishly set out to seduce her without a care for using protection.
Yes, she’d hurt him by hiding Noah, but hadn’t he done the same by putting her in
that position to begin with?

“We figured her parents were abusive,” Jim added, bringing Colt back to the present.

Colt picked up his Stetson and turned it over in his hands. “Look, I’m grateful for
everything you’ve given Noah. You’ve done a fine job with him—much better than I could’ve
done.”

“He’s a special boy,” Diane said. “He makes it easy.”

Colt smiled in agreement. “But that doesn’t change the fact that Leah placed him with
you without my consent.” He flashed a palm and quickly added, “Don’t get the wrong
idea. I’m not interested in disrupting Noah’s life. But I want to be a part of it.”

“We understand that,” she said.

“I’d like to see him on a regular basis, like Leah does.” Even though he and Noah
had gotten off to a great start, Colt said, “It’s probably a good idea to begin with
supervised visitation until he gets to know me. But after that, I’d like it if he
and I could spend one weekend together every other month. Then maybe when he’s a teenager,
a couple of weeks over the summer here in Texas.”

Jim and Diane shared an agreeing glance. “I think we can make that work,” Jim said.

“But I’d like it in writing.” Colt recalled what Leah had said earlier, how she feared
losing her visits with Noah. He didn’t want that threat hanging over his head. “Not
that I don’t trust you, but I’d feel better if we made it official.”

For the next few minutes, they hashed out a few minor details, then came to an agreement
over a handshake. Colt insisted on settling the bill. These people had given his son
a loving home, so the least he could do was buy their god-awful breakfast.

While he left the tip, Diane said, “I don’t know how much Leah told you about us…”

“Not much.” He counted out thirty percent, figuring it wasn’t the waitress’s fault
the food was so horrible. “Just that you’re good people.”

“When Leah contacted us ten years ago,” her voice thickened, and she paused. “I’d
just had my fifth miscarriage and we decided to quit trying.”

Colt gave her his full attention, but it wasn’t easy. Her eyes had started to well
up, and he hated to see anyone cry.

“Leah gave us a tremendous gift,” she went on. “And that’s one of the reasons we agreed
to keep the adoption open. I know it came at a great cost to the both of you.”

He agreed with her, but he didn’t know what to say to that.
You’re welcome
didn’t seem to fit.

“Noah saved me.” She turned her watery gaze to her husband, who pulled her against
his chest and kissed her forehead. “I know that sounds dramatic, but it’s true.”

Colt had to look away, and not just because he hated to see a woman cry. He’d never
been a churchgoing man and he didn’t believe in fate, but her words resonated with
him straight to the pit of his stomach. Noah belonged with these people. He felt that
truth deep inside.

He hated to admit it, but Leah had done the right thing. If she’d come to him ten
years ago and asked for his consent, he would have asked his parents to keep the baby
until he got his shit together. And God only knows how long that would’ve taken.

She’d done the right thing, and he’d punished her for it.

This past week, he’d grieved the loss of his angel, the flawless woman he’d loved
half his life, but what right did he have to hold her to that impossible standard?
Nobody walked on water, least of all himself. Just look at the way he’d behaved since
Leah returned to town—vowing to win her back by any means necessary, stooping to lies
and manipulation to get her naked. But when she made a mistake, he tried running her
out of town. Why was her perfection so important to him? Was he trying to make himself
good by association, like he’d done in high school?

Colt didn’t know, but he began to understand why karma was kicking his ass lately.
Leah still had the purest heart on earth…and he’d broken it.

Leah sat on her suitcase and bounced in place a few times until she flattened the
clothes inside. She zipped the top shut and hauled it to the bedroom door, where it
sat looking more like a time bomb than a Samsonite. Since she hadn’t brought much
with her, it didn’t take long to pack. All she needed now was to gather her toiletries
and she’d be ready to hit the road.

“You’re insane,” Rachel said from the other side of the bed. “You know that, right?”

And say good-bye to the people she loved. She had to do that too.

Rachel pushed off the bed and stood in the doorway. She used her foot to knock over
the suitcase. “I should hogtie you and stuff you in the closet until you come to your
senses.” She raised her chin and promised, “I’m bigger than you. I could do it.”

Leah sniffed a laugh. Rachel always had a way of making her feel better, and she’d
needed her best friend’s support after saying good-bye to Noah half an hour ago. Her
visits with him left her fragile, which was why she had to get out of Sultry Springs.
If she bumped into Colt again, she’d shatter completely.

“Enough with the wounded bird routine,” Rachel demanded. “Say something.”

Leah stopped what she was doing and locked eyes with her best friend. “I’m going to
miss you.”

In typical Rachel fashion, she held up both palms to block the emotions from touching
her too deeply. “Don’t do that—don’t go all sappy on me, Tink. Just stay.” She tilted
her head and pleaded, “C’mon, stay. Please?”

Rachel wasn’t making this easy, and she wasn’t the only one. Even though Daddy’s heart
was beating stronger than ever, he’d called Doctor Benton, hoping her new acquaintance
would coerce her into overseeing Daddy’s cardiac rehabilitation therapy. The doctor
wouldn’t take Daddy’s side, but only because he had his own agenda—Benton wanted her
working with
him
in the intensive care unit. He said the hospital had offered her a nursing position
contingent on the renewal of her license. She’d tried telling him no, but much like
Rachel, he didn’t want to hear it. He’d insisted the offer would remain open, and
he encouraged her to reconsider.

“At least tell me this isn’t about Colton,” Rachel said. “Because really, Tink. He’s
just a man. They’re a dime a dozen, and we grow ’em big here in Texas. We’ll find
you another one—a sexy cowboy who’s packin’ some serious heat, and I don’t mean a
pistol!”

Leah smiled at the joke but shook her head. A heart’s true match wasn’t easily replaced,
and she hoped one day Rachel would meet a man who proved that to her. “This isn’t
forever,” Leah said, dodging the question. “I just need some time to heal.”

“Are you coming back for Christmas?”

Leah opened her mouth to say
yes
but closed it just as quickly. The Ackermans would take Noah to Paris, so she wouldn’t
be able to spend Christmas Eve with him. There was no reason she couldn’t return to
Sultry Springs for the holidays. No reason besides seeing Colt and reopening the wound
she was so desperately trying to close. She offered a weak grin and said, “Maybe.”

The skeptical twist of Rachel’s lips said she didn’t buy it. “You’re not gonna stay
with me, are you?”

“No.”

“And there’s nothing I can do to stop you, is there?”

“No.”

“Then let’s get this over with.” Rachel held out her arms reluctantly, like the hug
might carry rabies. “I don’t want to be here when you drive away.”

Leah agreed it was easier like this. Watching Daddy’s house in her rear-view mirror
would be hard enough without Rachel’s reflection fading into the distance alongside
it. She embraced her friend tightly, careful not to allow the stinging tears behind
her eyes to overflow. If she started crying now, she wouldn’t stop until she hit Iowa.

Rachel seemed to struggle too. But just when she started to break down, Rachel abruptly
pulled back, turned on her heel, and fled down the hall. Leah called after her, but
she wouldn’t stop. A glance out her bedroom window showed her friend jogging across
the front lawn to her car and then speeding away.

This wasn’t the farewell she’d imagined.

Leah tipped her face toward the ceiling fan and blinked her eyes dry. The tears wouldn’t
hold back for much longer. A pressure was building inside her chest, sobs trying to
work their way free. She had to hurry and get out of here.

After throwing her cosmetics into an oversized Ziploc bag, she wheeled her suitcase
outside and stowed it in the trunk of Benny’s Escalade. The thought of driving the
massive luxury SUV didn’t appeal to her. All that extra space inside made her feel
lonely, not pampered. During the past month, she’d grown accustomed to the cradle
of a cracked vinyl seat and duct-taped arm rests. She cast a wistful glance at Bruiser,
parked at the curb. She’d miss him too. Despite his hideous facade, he’d been good
to her. Besides, he was her first real car—and a girl never forgot her first.

Daddy made his way outside to join her, dragging his feet, both hands wedged in his
pockets. The crisp autumn air brought a healthy flush to his cheeks that she hadn’t
seen since the surgery. He still had work to do, but he looked better than she’d seen
him in years, and she told him so.

“That’s the power of good old-fashioned TLC,” he told her softly. “I don’t think you
understand how much I miss you when you’re gone, Pumpkin.”

Oh, she understood perfectly. She felt the same way between visits with her own child.
She hated to leave Daddy, but she had to put herself first for once, take care of
her needs before she could give any more of herself to others.

“I’ll be back to visit before too long,” she said. “And I want to see you back in
those size thirty-fours you used to wear.” She didn’t tell Daddy, but she’d asked
old Ms. Bicknocker to come around and make sure he was eating real food. “No more
frozen dinners, and no more drive-thru meals. I don’t want you undoing all my hard
work. Promise?”

He tried to say, “Promise,” but it came out in a wet whisper that almost tore out
her heart. She had to go now, or she’d come undone. She threw her arms around his
neck and pulled in the smell of minty antacids and Aqua Velva. The smell of her daddy.
She held that breath a while to make it last.

Once Leah had scaled the Escalade and fastened her seat belt, she turned on the navigation
system and waved to Daddy one last time. Then she pulled onto the street and didn’t
look back.

***

Darla leaned over the reception desk and pointed one red fingernail at Noah. “Don’t
tell the other guys I said this, but you’re the cutest deputy in here.”

Noah tipped back his miniature Stetson. The cowboy hat looked strange paired with
his preppy tan pants and the toothy dinosaur on his sweater, like Indiana Jones meets
Wyatt Earp. The boy smiled at her and said, “I know.”

Everyone laughed at that, and then Colt noticed Jim checking his watch again. Colt
knew the Ackermans had a plane to catch, and they’d been more than generous with their
time, so he steered them through the lobby and out the front doors to the parking
lot. After a round of handshakes and good-byes, he told Noah he’d see him next month
and watched to make sure the family made it safely down Main Street before he headed
inside.

“I still can’t believe you’re a daddy,” Darla told him. “He looks just like you.”

Colt felt himself beaming. He glanced down at his phone, where he’d captured Noah’s
image—blue eyes bright beneath the brim of his hat, mouth curved in a gap-toothed
smile. Now he could see his boy whenever he pleased, and in a few weeks, they’d be
together in Minnesota. He should probably apply for one of those frequent flyer credit
cards, because he’d rack up some serious miles before long.

“I see a little of Leah in him too,” Darla said, pointing to her own face. “Around
the eyes, don’t you think?”

Leah
. At the mention of her name, a dull ache spread though his chest. “Yeah,” he mumbled.
“Around the eyes.”

What was he going to do about her? He’d screwed up again, big time. They needed to
talk and set things right, but she’d already forgiven him once, and that had taken
a month of solid effort on his part. Even if she gave him a third chance, he didn’t
know what he wanted from her. When he’d sold her engagement ring last week, he’d felt
certain there was no shot of a future for them.

“Is Noah gonna be your ring bearer?” Darla asked. “Or your best man? ’Cause I think
he’d look so handsome standing up there beside you in a little-bitty tux.”

Colt scratched his forehead and repeated, “Little-bitty tux” while he absently strode
down the hall to his office. A sense of urgency warned him to repair the damage now,
before it was too late. But what should he say to her? What about their relationship—could
they salvage it? Hell, he didn’t know. He needed to shut his office door and think.

He didn’t expect to see Rachel Landry sitting in his chair with those damn dirty garden
clogs kicked up on his desk. God bless, why did women insist on wearing those things?
Maybe Rachel used them as man-repellent.

“How’d you get in here?” he asked. “I know Darla didn’t let you in this time.”

She shot him the bird, not even bothering to flash her usual sarcastic grin. “I came
here to tell you I changed my mind. I
do
hate your face, Colton Bea.”

“Good to know things are getting back to normal.” He hitched a thumb over his shoulder.
“Now I can tell you to take a hike.”

Her nostrils flared and she started eyeing his letter opener. He didn’t think she’d
shank him, but just to be safe, he grabbed it and tossed it onto the filing cabinet.

Rachel stood from his chair and folded her arms. “Well, you did it. You rode her out
of town on a rail. You happy now, asshole? Or you wanna tar and feather her too?”

Colt’s stomach sank as he processed her psychotic rant. “Leah left already?” But he’d
just seen her a couple of hours ago at the Waffle Shack when she’d dropped off Noah.

“Yep. Gone. She’s probably in Hallover County by now.” She touched her forehead with
two fingers in a mock salute. “I just lost my best friend—for the second time—thanks
to you. I’d like to kick you in the nuts so hard your granddaddy feels it.”

A cold sweat broke out across Colt’s brow. Every fiber of uncertainty vanished, leaving
behind an ironclad truth that he felt in the pit of his soul: he still wanted Leah.
He’d barely survived losing her the first time, and he simply could not lose her again.
His first instinct was to hop in his cruiser and speed after her, but that was a bad
idea. He had no clue which route she’d taken—if she’d stuck to the highway or ventured
down back roads to reach the interstate.

“Is she driving the Cadillac,” he asked, “or that old purple beater?”

“The Caddy. Why do you care?”

“Move.” He nudged Rachel aside and pulled open his top desk drawer. He tore through
receipts, messages, and Post-it notes for the slip of paper he’d used to write down
Leah’s license plate number when she’d come to town last month. Once he found it,
he left Rachel without another word and dashed to the dispatch room.

He shoved the wad of paper at the deputy manning the dispatch station. “Tell the Hallover
boys I need a quick favor.”

***

Leah fiddled with the satellite radio controls until she found a peppy station. She
cranked up the volume and sang along to “Shiny Happy People” as loud as she could,
but her vocal cords refused to cooperate. She kept choking off at the end of each
line, so the shiny happy people were holding “hah” instead of hands. Since there was
no use trying to trick herself, she changed strategies and drowned her sorrows in
some old George Jones. “He Stopped Loving Her Today” was a more appropriate song anyhow.

Through a thin veil of tears, she admired the rolling hills and hayfields as they
blurred past at sixty miles per hour. Fall had dulled the colors of the typically
green landscape, but at least it wasn’t covered in two feet of Minnesota snow. She’d
just passed an abandoned barn when red and blue flashing lights caught her eye in
the rear-view mirror. A brown sheriff’s cruiser blasted his siren in two short wails,
and Leah’s gaze flew to the speedometer. She was going five miles under the speed
limit, thank goodness. She took her foot off the gas and looked for a good spot to
pull over. Twenty yards ahead, she spotted a gravel path running between two soybean
fields, so she turned onto it and came to a stop, then cut the engine.

She watched the officer pull in behind her and waited to see what he’d do. When he
stepped outside and approached her door, she rolled down her window.

“Afternoon, ma’am.” He touched the brim of his hat in a firm greeting. “You headed
out of town?”

“Yes, sir.” She noticed her reflection in his mirrored sunglasses. With her puffy
eyes and reddened nose, he probably thought she’d been drinking. “Is something wrong?”

He took a moment to study her, his poker face revealing no emotion. “Just stay in
the car, please.” Then he walked back to his cruiser and climbed inside.

That was weird. She wondered what he wanted. Benny knew she was on her way back to
Minnesota, so he wouldn’t have reported the Escalade as stolen. She sat patiently,
watching him in her rear-view while she waited for him to return.

Five minutes passed. Then ten. And fifteen. Twenty minutes later, a Sultry County
cruiser joined them on the path, kicking up dirt and gravel as he pulled to a stop
in front of her. After that, the Hallover deputy backed onto the main road and drove
away.

Leah didn’t like this. She peered out her front windshield to catch a glimpse of the
other officer, but the air was too clouded with dust to identify him. She gripped
the leather steering wheel while his door swung open, all the while praying to herself,
Please
don’t be Colt. Please don’t be Colt. Please don’t be Colt
.