She knew Dan would never be unfaithful. It wasn’t his style. But that didn’t mean she liked him surrounded with other women who almost certainly wanted her out of the picture. To be fair, she acknowledged that she didn’t know Josie’s intentions, but it was a pretty safe bet that she was attracted to Dan. Every moment that passed while they were alone together wore on Selena’s nerves. It didn’t help that the longer this dragged on, the more seriously she must be considering his plan.
When Cal returned from the horses, Selena realized she’d almost forgotten that over seventy people were in her immediate vicinity. She marveled that such a thing were possible.
Cal was quiet now. That meant that whatever was on his mind, he planned to save for Dan. The three of them stood there silently.
Selena wished that she could hear what they were talking about in there. Even though the free-grazers were settling in for the evening, they stil made too much background noise for her to eavesdrop.
“Jack!” Roark cal ed, striding over to join them. His mood hadn’t improved.
Jack frowned and let out a quiet sigh.
“Where’s that Dan guy?”
The three of them nodded towards the tent and Roark scowled. “Let’s have a talk about that bet, shal we?”
Jack walked off without answering and Roark fol owed.
“I don’t know where the hel this al came from,” Cal said as soon as the other men were out of earshot. “I mean, he didn’t even talk –
you
didn’t even know! It doesn’t get any bigger than this and not a word to anyone!”
Selena stared at the tent flap, wishing her eyes could burn through it.
“I need a minute,” she told Cal, then set off walking past the tent’s white wal s and out into the field. She knew that if she had to stand there waiting one more minute, she might burst in and make it clear that she didn’t have much in the way of manners.
Staring out at the dark horizon to the north, she could see the destruction the free-grazers had wreaked on the plain. It was nothing to worry about. The land would recover, but just now, it al felt inescapable. With such a chaotic mess of emotions battering her mind, Selena decided that al she could do was take several deep breaths and try to be calm.
She couldn’t see the coyotes ahead of her, but she could hear them scavenging and scuffling over scraps not far off.
Her skin prickled.
“Selena.”
His deep voice sounded from much closer than he should have been able to get without her hearing. Of course, she was used to this by now.
She turned to face him. He stood just ten feet away, watching her careful y in the growing darkness.
He was so good to look at, it hurt. The broad shoulders that crowned his tal frame were outlined in perfect detail with the last hues of purple sky glowing behind him. His dark eyes were focused on her intently.
She wanted to run her fingers along his smooth face, around his beautiful neck and down his muscular chest, pretending the past few hours had never happened. But they had happened. She couldn’t speak.
He walked slowly to her, coming to a halt just a step away. She dropped her gaze to stare at the ground, but he lifted her chin gently so he could look into her eyes.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tel you,” his voice thrummed.
“Dan,” she sighed, looking away again. “You know that I can’t be a part of this.”
“I don’t know that,” he told her, frowning. “Look at me,”
he insisted, drawing her face back.
“I can barely live where we live now,” she said quietly, holding his gaze this time. “You want to build a bustling town. What did she say, by the way?”
“She said she would think about it, and we decided that she would come visit us to see the way we live.”
“And?” Selena prompted. “What did she need to talk to you alone about?”
“Who would be responsible for what. You don’t need to worry about any of that now. First thing to do is show her these things are possible.”
“Where did al this come from?” Selena whispered in exasperation.
“I accepted that my life was over,” he told her. “That
“I accepted that my life was over,” he told her. “That was it. I failed. Jake won. He and Clint were going to …
they were going to do whatever they wanted with you, like they were going to with everyone else.” He stepped in close and took her face firmly in his hands. His eyes blazed into hers. “I accepted that there was not a
damned
thing I could do about it, Selena. I
accepted
that. Do you know what that’s like …?”
Her eyes wel ed as she stared up into his. She’d never seen him this emotional. It was the most intimate part of himself that he’d ever revealed to her.
“And I’l be
damned
if I wil ever be so powerless again,” he went on. “I’l be
damned
.”
He released her and she blinked back her tears, wondering why his suffering should make her cry while his own eyes remained dry. The silence was thick before he spoke again, more calmly.
“I learned my limits that day, for the first time in my life, Selena,” he told her, resting his hands on his hips. “I met a situation I could not handle. I won’t let it happen again.”
Selena gnawed at her lip as she thought it over. She would not punish him for his reaction to past events. Suddenly, it seemed completely clear that he could never feel any other way. Al of that aside, she stil didn’t know how she could ever possibly live the way he wanted to live. The best resolution she could come to was not to make any decisions at al , and see how things played out.
“What now?” Selena asked.
“Let’s go,” he nodded back in the direction of the tents. “Cal’s waiting.”
When they returned, Cal was obviously struggling to keep his irritation in check. Selena knew that he and Dan would work out an understanding much faster than she had.
“So! What’s next? A fucking spaceship?”
“That’s the eighty-year plan. This is the ten-year,” Dan explained, clapping his friend on the shoulder.
Cal scoffed.
The girl who’d taken their horses approached.
“Miss Josie wants you to know that you are welcome to anything you need. She’s had a large tent pitched for you. I can show you the way.”
“What’s your name?” Dan asked.
“Angela,” the girl replied, looking suddenly flustered.
He nodded. “Lead the way.”
As she began walking, Dan ushered Selena ahead, while he and Cal fol owed. She pursed her lips and complied. She didn’t want to sleep here and she didn’t want to walk in front, but it was quickly becoming clear that what she wanted was irrelevant to what he felt was necessary.
As they wove their way among the tents in the dimness, Selena saw people sitting around campfires laughing, moving from one place to another or standing and talking.
There are so many
, she reminded herself dizzily.
To her chagrin, wherever she looked, strangers were staring back at her. This was why she would have preferred to fol ow behind. There was no opportunity to discreetly study them. With al eyes on her, however, Dan could observe them unhindered. Selena knew that he had a reason for everything. Perhaps this trip was a good opportunity for her to study
him
. She reminded herself that she was the one who insisted on coming along and had agreed to do whatever he asked. It would be foolish to wonder what was going on in his mind. He’d been just one individual off on his count of these people, after al . She couldn’t even guess how such a thing was possible.
Whatever she wanted to know, she would simply ask him directly.
There was no conversation as they walked and they There was no conversation as they walked and they were at their tent soon enough.
“This one is yours,” Angela said. “There should be plenty of room. I’l bring your horses around and tether them just over there. Do you need anything?”
“I think we’re fine, Angela. Give Josie our thanks,”
Dan answered.
The girl nodded and hurried off, her face flushed.
Selena pul ed the flap aside and slipped past it, grateful to be shielded from the nerve-wracking stares that had been fol owing her.
There was easily room for at least six men and they could comfortably stand inside, so Selena didn’t feel awkward that Cal would be sharing the sleeping space. In fact, she felt more secure knowing he would be there, too.
His skil s were nothing compared to Dan’s, but stil better than most men’s. Together, they were a force to be reckoned with.
The three of them settled in on the bedrol s that had been brought in from their horses.
“What did you observe?” Selena asked Dan in a sul en whisper. She could barely discern his shape in the darkness.
Cal quietly awaited his response.
Dan’s head turned to her and he paused before answering. “Nothing worrisome.”
Selena sighed. “Do we absolutely
have
to sleep here?”
“No. But building trust is important.”
“How much do you trust them?” she asked.
“I’m not worried. These people are led by a woman.
That says a lot about them. There are more men here, but only by a very smal number. Everyone is in pretty decent condition and they aren’t too fearful. That means Josie has a good system for keeping the peace. I’l ask her about it when I can.”
“What did she decide?” Cal asked.
“She’s going to visit and see if she likes how we live.”
“I’m going to guess that this has nothing to do with us bringing Jack in while you were gone,” Cal hedged.
“That’s right. And I trust Jack about as far as I can throw him.”
“Real y?”
“No,” Dan corrected with amusement in his voice.
Selena was tempted to defend him, but she knew that might look bad. Besides, she didn’t trust him al that much either.
“Josie is a lot safer to bring in than he was,” Dan informed them.
“But he’s just one man with family,” Cal pointed out.
“The stakes are higher with her. Josie controls over seventy people. She could crush us if she felt like it.”
“She won’t,” Dan insisted. “She wanted to kil her brother. That was real. He must have put a hel of a strain on her leadership. I’l bet he raided them for whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. I want to nail this thing down before they realize how much easier their lives are going to be without him, whether they stay or not.”
Selena sighed, lying down next to him on the bedrol and throwing the blanket over herself. “Wel I’m not going to get any sleep tonight. I don’t know how you two can.”
“I haven’t seen anything I’d consider a danger,” Dan assured her.
“I don’t see how you can know that for sure,” she mused quietly.
“I invited Josie to the Crater. If she wanted to attack us, she’d wait until she knew where it was,” Dan explained patiently. “As for anyone else here acting against her orders, I won’t say it’s impossible, but she keeps these people in line and this community is their best shot at survival. None of them individual y can beat us in a fight and they have no reason to try, anyway. You’re just as safe tonight as you are at home.”
With that, he lay back quietly next to her and folded his arms across his middle. Cal settled in soon after and the three of them were silent. They were al tired from what had been a very long day.
Selena lay with her back to Dan in the darkness, staring at the tent wal , which undulated with the softest breeze. For some reason, she found its movement eerie.
It wasn’t long before Cal was snoring softly, but as she predicted, she was finding it almost impossible to relax. Her mind was stil churning from the day’s events and apprehension about the future. She couldn’t tel if Dan was asleep, so she tried to keep stil .
Several minutes passed like this before she felt him turn on his side to face her. He curled his arm around her waist and drew her close.
“You have to rest,” he whispered.
When she turned to lie on her back, she could see him watching her with his head propped up on one elbow.
“I don’t know how,” she whispered back.
“You’re okay, Selena. You’re with me.”
She shook her head. She wanted to believe him. “We’ve had surprises before,” she reminded him hesitantly.
Immediately, she wished she hadn’t brought up the past.
He’d just made clear what a nightmare that had been for him.
“That took years of planning,” he answered, unruffled. “None of these people knew we would be here tonight. I
promise
you that we are in no danger tonight. At least not from these people.”
When she could utter no answer, he brushed her face with his open hand, turning her head toward his and caressing her cheek with his thumb. She felt herself relax.
caressing her cheek with his thumb. She felt herself relax.
“Do you trust me?” he whispered.
Selena blinked up at him in the darkness. She’d never considered the possibility of placing her safety in the hands of someone else. She’d known it could be done, but she’d never felt it applied to her before.
It was a sil y question, Selena realized. She was probably safer by his side than anywhere else in the world.
She knew better than anyone what he could do.
“Of course,” she whispered back, bringing her hand up to touch his.
Satisfied by her answer, he slid an arm beneath her neck to cradle her head and reached the other around her back so that he could hold her close.
Selena sighed, enjoying the size of his body, the firmness of his muscles and the heat that radiated from beneath the soft fabric of his shirt. New warmth was growing in her as wel . It started in her chest and flowed into her hands and feet. She hadn’t known that feeling safe would come with this euphoria.
Lying wrapped in his protective arms, surrounded by dozens of strangers, Selena felt safer than she had in al her life, and she slept.
Nine
Selena knew that nothing was certain, but if anyone was going to gauge this situation properly, it was Dan. So she resolved to maintain her calm the next morning, despite the raucous bustle of activity surrounding them as they made their way to Josie’s tent.