“I guess, but he’s always nice to me.”
“He’s still a stranger, just watch yourself around him, at least until he’s been here a while longer. You don’t want to rush into anything right.” Jill was foreseeing a conversation with Vikki in the future. Up walked Tom before Cindi could ask any more questions.
“Hey princess, how are you guys doing here?” He asked Cindi.
“Great dad, were just about done. Right Jill?” Yeah they were only half way through, but Jill would rather finish up by herself at the moment.
“Up pretty much done if you want to take off.”
“Alright, let’s go see what your mother is up to.” Tom said has he slung his arm around his daughter and they walked off chatting about this and that. Jill wondered what was up with Cindi not finishing her job, in fact why didn’t Cindi ever finish any of her jobs, but she was more intrigued with why Tyler would want anything to do with a young girl like her.
Over the next several nights Jill would continue to wake up in the middle of the night. She was sleeping past midnight now though and just waking earlier the next day sometimes. She was still getting use to sleeping more than 3 or 4 hours a night. She would usually get up and meander back up to the roof and sit for a while. Casey had been right, the peace and quiet didn’t last long, and her guess was the zombies were thawing out from the winter and start wandering around again, coming down from farther north. Or maybe with the new spring air human scents traveled better and farther. Who knew for sure, it was just getting more crowded around here with them.
“Hey.”
“Hey yourself.” She replied. Casey sat down next to her, he obviously had not been to bed yet.
“What are you doing up?” She asked.
“Just trying to organize, keep the Zeds numbers down some. We work like this through most the night I guess, it’s when they seem to be pretty active in the area. They get into the barbwire pretty bad and we work to clear ‘em out.”
They continued to chat and talk, keeping the conversation on bettering the fort, scavenging for food, supplies, weapons and people.
“When are you guys going out again?”
“Maybe in a few days, there is a mall we still haven’t checked out, but it has a Cabela’s. So were hopeful.”
“I think I should go with you.” She stated.
“Why?” He looked shocked that she would even ask, let alone declare she should go.
“Because I’ve lived out there and have pretty decent experience.”
“I think we’ll be ok, we’ve done this numerous times before.” He chuckled.
“It was just a suggestion. I thought I could help, it’s something I’m good at.” Casey stared at her averted gaze for a minute.
“You’re pissed.” He accused.
“Don’t be stupid.” She said while still not looking at him.
“You are, you ticked I didn’t think you coming with us was a good idea.” He stood and scooted his chair closer to her.
“Hey. It’s not because I don’t think you can’t handle yourself, I swear, I just thought it would be best if you stayed here with Tom to help keep an eye on things.” He finished. Jill stared at him for a minute before breaking the silence.
“You never know where each day takes you. I’ve come across two types of people, the ones looking for safety, others looking to exploit. There are towns, for lack of a better word, popping up everywhere in the most random places.” Jill continued. “Full of scared, power hungry people, I sort of expected that here too. But I guess not.” She turned to look at Casey now.
“Most of these places are not run by the most hospitable, or moral men. Yes all these places have male leaders. Each place is pretty much a survival of the fittest. Oh they had rules, all the same consequence, banishment, death, forced slavery.” Casey was now listening intently. “I was in Montana, or South Dakota, can’t remember for sure, and thankfully came across a trade town. If you want something, you have to trade for it, food, a bed, weapons, sex, everything there is tradable. I only stayed a few hours, just enough to sleep and I left in the middle of the night. A couple of the women there were telling me stories about what they do with females, they are pretty much currency and whores, and they told me not to ask about how they had fresh meat so often. Apparently the penalties for breaking certain rules there are slightly different.” Jill now silent watched Casey absorb all that she had just told him.
“I guess I hadn’t realized how bad it was out there, I mean I thought we were struggling, but damn. Cannibalism?”
“That’s not all that’s out there. Roaming squads of bandits too, like your friends Jeff and Tyler. Except they usually travel in much larger packs. This one time, I was with a young couple and we were holed up in a house somewhere in Missouri, I didn’t even know their names. It was dark, no power, we were catching up on some sleep in this old house, when headlights cut across the living room in the darkness and woke us. There had to be at least a dozen motorcycles, and a few cars out in the street, along with a horde of zombies following with all the noise these guys were making, they began breaking into all the other houses there on the block. I warned them. I warned them to stay quiet, keep down. The chick, freaked out, I’ll never know what got into her, but she went right up to the window, smashed her face against it and everything. And of course they could see her. Her guy comes up behind her to pull her down, too late. A bunch of rough looking guys come running at the house, I grabbed my pack and bolted for the back door, always know your exit points I say. I hid out in the overgrown grass in the fenced in backyard, they came in, killed the guy. Didn’t even argue, no words, they shot him and took her with them when they left.” Jill finished.
“You didn’t do anything?” Casey asked with quiet shock.
“What should I have done? You tell me.”
“Well if there were only two maybe you three could have . . . . . . “ Casey trailed off without completely his sentence. “You’re crying.” He nodded at her, clearly stunned by her reaction.
“I didn’t want to leave them. I wish I could have saved them, especially her. I can only imagine the horrible fate that came upon her.” Jill had a few tears on her cheeks, it did bother her that she did nothing, but what could she have done. She had no real weapons at that time, her fate would have been the same as the other girl.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. I just hate to think there are still such bad people out there.” Casey said as he tried to lay a comforting hand on her back.
“I gotta go, I’m tired.” Jill quickly got up and walked away, seeking the welcome comfort of her bed.
“Jill I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that!” Casey hollered after her. Jill only acknowledged it with a quick little lift of her hand before going down the stairs back into the store.”
“What do you think of the new girl, Jill?” Kurt asked.
“Why, do you like her?” Tom asked casually over his shoulder. Kurt scoffed at that.
“Yeah right, so not my cup of tea. I just meant, she seems pretty smart, stable. She has some pretty good ideas in regards to this place and in general, to help us expand. I mean if what she says is true, with a bunch of farm land south of here? That could open wide array of possibilities.”
“How the hell do we patrol a farm?” Tom didn’t really like that idea. He didn’t think they needed to stretch themselves any thinner, but he liked the idea of expanding into the apartments, maybe have some room. With his two daughters sharing a room with him and his wife, alone time was far and few in between.
“Plus we have no idea what the condition of living is out there, are there still animals alive. We know nothing.”
“That’s why we send out a scout team, just like she said. Dude give her some credit, she has some good ideas. Plus I think Casey likes her.” Kurt added with a smile.
“Well he hasn’t been laid in what . . . . .?”
“Never. He’s never hooked up with any of the women here.”
“How do you know that?” Tom asked not believing Kurt in the least. “You were busy clucking with all the other hens?” Tom tried to get a dig in on Kurt once in a while. He knew about him, it wasn’t obvious, but Tom wasn’t stupid either. Kurt squinted and gave him laser eyes.
“No Jack ass, he told me, and I believe him.” The men continued sorting through the inventory, making list of what they might need. The trip to get supplies was vastly approaching, and they had to go through everything.
“So, change of subject, I noticed your daughter and some of the other girls hanging around that Tyler guy quite a bit. Are they becoming an item?” Kurt said.
“Cindi better stay away from him, that guy is bad news, I don’t like him one bit. That Jeff guy either.” Tom did not like, trust or tolerate those two. He frequently snubbed them and made sure to stick them with bull shit jobs to keep them away from others, including his daughter.
“What do you think about Jack?” Kurt said shaking Tom out of his day dream.
“Why do you keep asking me about him? What do you like him or something? Then go talk to him.” Kurt choose to ignore that.
“Because Andy thinks he should come along on the supply run, and I agree. What do you think?” Tom stood there for a minutes, the kid was young, smart, appeared to be able to handle himself.
“I guess I would agree with you guys on him going.”
“Oh look, there goes your buddy now with his new GF’s.” Kurt pointed towards Tyler walking by with three girls, Tom’s daughter included. What was her issue, Kurt didn’t see the appeal, he knew cute and Tyler was not cute.
“I’m telling you, you need to watch her, or keep a better eye on him, cause that whole thing has “bad news” written all over it.” Kurt said while watching Tom glower at Tyler.
One night Jill woke from a particularly bad dream, it was of being chased by zombies, her parent’s possible demise and the woman she saw dragged off from that night, by the bandits. She’d had that nightmare a few hundred times, but it switched in her dream, it was always her they took and the other one watching from a far. It was about 2am, guess it was time to wander around, but she didn’t feel like having Casey’s company at the moment. So she turned in the other direction and went outside by the lumber yard to sit and ponder.
She’s not here. Casey had expected her to be here, on the roof, where they would have their nightly talks. For some reason this bothered Casey, and instead of following his instincts and staying away, he sought Jill out. He wandered the sleeping store, outside around and by the gates, he even asked a few people if they’d seen her. After some pointing in the right direction he spotted her, sitting over in the lumber yard on a stack of 2 x 4’s, with her feet dangling over, just looking down with her head in her hands.
“What gives?” Casey said as soon as he was within distance. Jill had obviously been in deep thought because she was clearly startled by his shout.
“Oh . . .nothing.” She croaked out a voice barely audible. A slight drizzle had begun, but they were covered by the lumber shelters.
“You weren’t on the roof.” Casey stated this obvious fact and regretted it right away.
“I just had to walk around some. No biggie.” Jill said looking back down at her feet.
Casey could feel himself asking the question, one he knew he didn’t want the answer too. Why oh why did he have to set himself up like this.
“What’s wrong?” He said before he could stop himself. Praying to god Jill would give the normal woman response and say nothing.
“I just had a bad dream is all.” She said.
“About what?” Casey mentally kicked himself again.
“Do you really want to know?” Jill giving Casey the out he was looking for, because she didn’t want to talk about it anymore than he wanted to listen.
“I wouldn’t have asked otherwise.” Stupid stupid stupid, Casey repeated in his head.
“I just have issues I guess, like most people left alive today.” She was quiet again, and Casey came to sit next to her and just waited.
“Its survivor’s guilt, I guess you could say. Everything, why am I here and not someone else? I’m sure you lost someone close to you, a girlfriend, a wife, how do you not look at me and think why is she here when the person I loved is not.” Jill finished and they were quiet again. Casey couldn’t believe Jill had said what he had thought many times over, not just in reference to her, but countless others. It just didn’t seem fair. Whole families had survived, why not his. It made him feel like he wasn’t good enough, like he didn’t deserved to live. The rain started coming down pretty steady, they could really use it too.
“Now you’re quiet. I’m sorry, I upset you. I’ll just go now.” She said and started to rise.
“No wait, at least until the rain slows.” He grabbed her arm to keep her seated. “You’re partly right, I’ve had those thoughts before, but more about myself than anyone.” Casey couldn’t elaborate further, he felt too many emotions all at once suddenly and couldn’t talk. “So what was your dream about?” he asked quickly.
“Always the same. I’m running, . . never fast or far enough. Then it switches, and I’m home.” She was quiet. “I go running into the house. Every time, it’s the same way. I see my family, their skeletal remains posed in positions as if they were alive still.” A tear went down Jill’s cheek. “Then I’m in that house again. It’s cold and dark, I’m all alone, that man has been shot, and his dead eyes stare right through me and his wife is nowhere around. And it’s not that wife those creeps are dragging out of there, it’s me, and I’m screaming.” She looks up at the ceiling and uses hands to try and get the emotion out. “Screaming for her to help me, and I can see her hiding in the bushes, watching this happen. Why doesn’t she help me, I keep thinking.” Jill was quiet again, they both were. “Please say something.” She asked Casey.