Suspending Reality (40 page)

“Never mind.” She shook her head. “How many kids did you just say you want? What do I look like, some kind of breeding machine?”

“Let’s just hope they don’t inherit your smart mouth. I’ve let it slide until now, but once we have exchanged vows, you shall control your tongue—or I will control it for you.”

She cocked an eyebrow. “And what if I don’t? What if I say whatever I want, whether you want to hear it or not?”

“Trust me, you do not want to find out,” he said.

She glared at him, throwing daggers with her eyes. “What’re you going to do, lock me in a dungeon and throw away the key?”

“Let me know when I can call for the priest,” King Victor said. “We will need to inform him whether he will be performing a wedding ceremony or last rites. That, my love, is your choice.”

Sarah’s head shot back in defiance. “I’ll never marry you. It’ll never happen—not even if a million stars fell from the sky.”

“No?” He ran a finger down her cheekbone.

Her breath caught in her throat as she pushed him away. “No.” She put as much conviction into her voice as she could muster, but somehow, it barely made its way out of her throat.

“We’ll see about that,” King Victor said with a smirk. “Enjoy your stay. If you get too cold, just remember my bed’s nice and warm and waiting for you.” With one last glance over his shoulder, he slammed the cell door with his boot, trapping her in the confined space.
 

Chapter 4

Sarah had plenty to think about in the drippy silence.
Will he really kill me if I refuse to go through with the wedding?
She shivered as a cool breeze blew across her face.
How long does that idiot plan to keep me down here anyway?
He’d only left minutes ago, but the distress of being alone with her thoughts crept up on her, putting her in an emotional chokehold.
Where the heck is Frank anyway? I wonder if he made it out safely or if those Sasquatches attacked him.
She hoped that since he had the tranquilizer gun on him, he’d managed to escape.
If not, I’m afraid he’s seriously hurt or…
She shook her head, eager to get rid of the images rolling before her eyes. Booted footsteps echoed down the corridor, jolting her back to reality. She held her breath and clenched her hands just in case she got the chance to attack and get the hell out of here.

A knight held up a large ring of metal dungeon keys and unlocked the door. After it creaked open, he took a step inside. Obviously tired of waiting, Mr. Whack Job had sent his messenger boy.

Can’t a girl have time to think about spending the rest of her life in some medieval nightmare? What, is Kingy Poo that desperate for an answer?
She jumped to her feet and put her hands firmly on her hips. “Tell your idiot King my mind’s made up. The answer is a big fat no. I’m not going anywhere with him, now or ever.”

The knight’s voice came out muffled from behind his visor. “What? I slayed a dragon, swam a moat full of crocodiles, and this is all the thanks I get for coming here to rescue you?”

Sarah clasped a hand over her mouth as a spark of recognition hit her full force.

“Did I mention the getaway vehicle is parked right outside the gate?” The knight held up the tranquilizer gun. “And what kind of knight would I be without this?”

“Frank!” Relief flooded every fiber in her body.

He lifted his visor and smiled. “At your service, madam.”

She threw her arms around him, her heart racing. “I never thought I’d be so happy to see you, of all people. How the heck did you get in here?”

“You mean past the big, hairy gorillas out there?” He lifted a brow. “Meh, they were nothin’.”

“I’d usually be sick of your cockiness by now, but all things considered, I’m just glad you’re here.” She smiled as she took a step back, regarding his steel attire.

“Wow,” Frank said. “Maybe you should get kidnapped more often. See what happens when you let go of all that anger?”

“That’s a combination of gratitude and stress, not forgiveness. Don’t go getting excited.”

“Ouch.” He pretended to grab his heart.

“Anyway, get me out of here.” She peered at the open door, her eyes scanning the empty space to the left and right as her brain considered the best possible way out.

“Wait…it’s gonna be a minute. I’m with this rebel dude who hates the king. His name is Jules. We have to wait for him to signal that the coast is clear, and then I’ll escort you out as a prisoner. Armed knights are swarming the place.”

“I thought you took care of them.”

Frank shrugged. “I did…sort of.”

“Hmm. So what you really mean is that you sneaked in here.” Sarah threw her hands in the air. “Well, that’s fantastic. Let’s sneak back out then. You said the vehicle’s parked outside. How’s that possible?”

“Well, about that…” Frank laughed. “Technically, it snorts, but at least it doesn’t create a smog problem. I’m your knight in shining armor, right? It would only be proper that I ride you off into the sunset on a white steed.”

“A knight on a white horse?”
Gosh, could this day get any weirder?

Frank winced. “Well, technically, the horse isn’t white, but you get the idea.”

“This isn’t some romance novel or fairytale, so can you just drop me off at the nearest bus station?”

“Well, well, aren’t you quite the little comedian? Do you know how much work I put into this rescue mission?”

“Yes, Frank, and thank you. How’d you know where I was?” Shaking her head, she waved her hand. “Never mind. This isn’t the time. Let’s just say I appreciate it.” She eyed him up and down, knocking on his decorative etched breastplate. “You look like a walking tank, or maybe some kind of ancient Terminator.”

“Careful now. This is just a loaner from a friend I just met.”

“And he trusted you? I mean, you did crash my car into a pole a few months ago.”

Frank peered out the door. She caught the nervous flick of his tongue as he licked his upper lip. It was a telltale sign, even when he didn’t want to show his nerves. “If I remember correctly, you couldn’t drive because you were tipsy from too much champagne. You locked lips with me while—”

“No, I don’t remember it that way at all,” she lied. He’d looked so handsome in that tux that she couldn’t help it. “Anyway, you can rehash your misguided fantasies later. For now, what’s up with all of this? What the heck happened to us?”

“You tell me, ‘cause I never gave up on our whirlwind affair.”

She inhaled sharply. “I’m not talking about the relationship we
so
don’t have. I’m talking about this place. What is it? What happened? Where the heck are we?”

“Well, I wasn’t given a handbook, but I’ve been doing a lot of research. Uh, it seems we…uh…”

She smiled, knowing all too well that they’d entered some kind of portal, but she couldn’t pass on hearing Frank admit it. “I’m all ears.”

He averted his gaze as though the mere thought of what he was about to say embarrassed him. “Against all logical explanation and my better judgment, I must admit that we’ve somehow slipped into another dimension.”

“What?” she asked with her hands on her hips again. Those words could put a serious dent in your reputation, not to mention book sales. How can the greatest skeptic of all time admit to something so ridiculous?”

His face twitched, and he shuffled his feet, trying to avoid her gaze. “Trust me when I say it isn’t easy.”

“I’m not too floored. After all, I wrote a long article on how these beings use an intra-dimensional portal to gain access to our world. Don’t you remember asking me in front of hundreds of people at a conference if Chewy could use warp speed to get back to his world? And don’t forget all the cracks you made on my colleagues.”

Frank’s cheeks turned red. “Uh, the details of that are a little fuzzy, I’m afraid.”

She knocked on his metal chest. “You remember. Just admit it.”

“Sorry about that. When we get back, I’ll apologize to your team.”

“You’ll buy them dinner too. Flowers would be a nice touch, and chocolates with a nice card attached admitting that you’re an idiot.”

His jaw dropped. “Dinner, flowers, and candy? Are you kidding? There are thirty people on that team of yours.”

Sarah shrugged. “Sucks to be you then. Speaking of my team, where are they?” A shadow crossed his face, and her heart fell. “Did they come through the portal or are they back in California? If they came in after us, we should find them and make sure they’re okay.”

Frank smirked. “Yeah, I know you wish you could squeeze everyone to your bosom, but it’s kind of hard to do with a herd of Bigfoot on your butt.”

She pressed a palm to her chest, fighting the anxiety building up inside.
What’s wrong with being a nurturer, of wanting to take care of people?
She wished she’d done the same for her sister.

“We gotta go. We need to be in position for Jules’s whistle,” Frank said. “Ready to be my prisoner?”

“Yep. I feel like I was ripped out of my world and just thrown somewhere I don’t belong. I want to go home, and I have a funny feeling clicking my heels three times isn’t going to work.”

“Yeah, dirty boots can’t take the place of ruby red slippers, I’m afraid, even if I do look like the Tin Man in this thing,” he joked, thumping his metal chest.

“Well, you could use a heart.” She smiled, stepped in front of him, and placed her hands behind her back. “Anyway, you got here in the nick of time. That psychopath thinks I’m some princess and plans on making me his wife.”

He let go of her hands. “What?”

She spun around. “If you hadn’t come, I’d be a queen. He wants me to bear his dozen offspring.”

Frank looked away, but she didn’t miss the narrowed eyes and the frown forming between his brows as he mumbled, “I don’t believe this.”

“Don’t worry. It’s not gonna happen. I got caught in the middle of a hellish war between two kings. The one who threw me down here mistook me for Princess Gloria, the daughter of the other king. He wants to use me as a pawn for vengeance. The idiot could’ve checked my driver’s license. It’s nothing more than a big fat case of mistaken identity and being in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Well, come on. We can talk on the way,” Frank whispered, motioning her to step in front of him so she could play a proper prisoner. But halfway up the corridor, he stopped. “Wait…I have an idea.”

“I don’t know what’s running through that mind of yours, but this might be the first and last time I’ll ever be willing to ride off into the sunset with you, so let’s just go.”

He turned to face her, lifting his visor, and let out a long breath. “What you just said changes everything. You’ve got to go back.”

She stared at him for a brief moment, unable to speak.
Why did I have to open my big mouth?
The thought of being left in that place made her gut tighten. “No! No way. You can’t just leave me here. Why? That makes no sense.”

He pressed his hands on her shoulders, his voice softening. “You
have
to marry the king.”

“What the heck are you talking about?” she asked. “Do you even hear yourself? How much ale have you been chugging with the locals?” Anger bubbled up inside her. She balled her hands, emotion choking her. “Wow, Frank. Really, I know you’re the jealous type, but this?” She took a steadying breath. “You’re even trying to speed things up by dumping me here.”

Frank shook his head, his eyes serious. “You’re staying.”

“He’s a lunatic. He threw me up against the wall and threatened my life.” And then it dawned on her. “Wait…there’s something in it for you, isn’t it? Are they making you editor-in-chief of the
Tastian Times
or the
Guardian Gazette
or something?”

“No! What do you take me for? That’s ludicrous.”

She shoved his shoulder. “Then tell me why!” She started to walk off, but Frank refused to budge. “What kind of knight in shining armor are you? You tease me with rescue only to send me back to my cold cell that’s in desperate need of fumigation?”

“You know there’s a method to my madness. I’ve been talking with my sources. We need that wedding ring to get back home. So you go play nice with Mr. King. Act like that princess and bat those eyelashes a million miles a minute if you have to.”

She crossed her arms. “What about the romantic dinner date I promised you for going into the cave? It’s not going to be so nice when I bring along
my new husband,
His Royal Pain in the—”

“Yeah, that could be a deal-breaker.” He paused for a moment. “Leaving you in the arms of another suitor really sucks, but we don’t have any other choice. Is he at least hot?”

She glared. “Very.”

His jaw set. “He’ll never lay his filthy hands on you.”

She cocked an eyebrow. “Yet you want me to marry him.”

“I’ll get you out of here before he can consummate the marriage.”

“Let me get this straight, and excuse me if I’m a tad confused.” She took a deep breath. “You came here to rescue me, which you aren’t. Now you want me to marry King Victor, and you promise to make some triumphant return before Kingy McJerkwad has his way with me? Frank, I don’t get this at all. We should be running for the hills, but instead you’re doing a total 180 on me!”