Suspicion (21 page)

“My brother doesn’t look too happy. I think he wishes he were in my place right now.”

“Oh—but he’s the wrong brother.”

I blurt the words out before realizing what I’m saying, and then I clap my hand over my mouth in horror. Did I just admit my feelings? In the middle of a bar? Sebastian stares at me, his green eyes wide. Apparently I did.

The song ends, and I hurry back toward Theo, my cheeks burning. For the rest of the night Sebastian and I make a valiant effort to pretend I didn’t say anything. But the words linger, taking up space between us.

I return home that night to find Teddy furiously barking outside my bedroom door.

“What is it, Teddy?” I bend down to give him a hug. He jumps up, his paws on my legs, nodding his head toward my room. And then I smell smoke.

Instantly sobered up, I throw open my bedroom door. The wastebasket beside my desk is glowing, with flames climbing its sides, threatening to spill onto the carpet and set the room ablaze. I whirl around in a panic, my eyes searching for a glass of water. But there is nothing, and time is running out fast.

I move closer to the wastebasket. Teddy gnaws at the hem of my dress, trying to pull me back to safety, but I shoo him away. I’ve never done anything like this before—but if there was ever a time my Elemental skills could come in handy, it’s right about now.

I place my palms over the fire, focusing my mind on the image of water. But nothing happens, and Teddy’s barking grows increasingly frantic as I wave my hands over the wastebasket like some kind of wannabe wizard. What am I doing differently? Why isn’t the gift working? What am I
missing
this time?

My mind flashes back to the Shadow Garden years ago, to the pangs of envy in my stomach as I watched Sebastian and Lucia before growing a flower with my hands. I recall the overpowering grief spilling out of me the night I created the ball of fire, the desperate yearning for my mother last week when I grew a rose, my longing for Sebastian when I changed the colors in the Maze.
Heightened emotion.
That must be the trigger to my gift.

I squeeze my eyes shut, forcing my thoughts away from the fire in this room and back to the nightclub in Windsor. Swaying in Sebastian’s arms, my head nestled beneath his chin, our faces nearly meeting—

My eyes fly open as the sizzling sensation returns to my hands. I watch in awe as tiny cracks begin to form in my fingertips—and water comes sprouting from them.

Teddy howls in shock as I move my hands over the wastebasket, the water from my fingers extinguishing the fire, until all that remains is a smoky aftermath. Teddy leaps into my arms, licking my face in relief.

“We’re okay, buddy. We’re okay.” I hold his furry little body close, and after setting him down, I stare at my hands in wonder. They’ve returned to normal, the cracks are gone. What I’ve just done is completely insane … but also a miracle.

I lean over to peer into the wastebasket, which is filled with discarded papers—and a match. I stare at it with a jolt of panic. I certainly didn’t put the match in there. Did someone deliberately try to set my room on fire?

I hear a knock at the door and stiffen, expecting Maisie. But to my relief, I find Oscar standing outside, clad in a robe and slippers.

“I’m so sorry to disturb you, Your Grace, but I heard all the barking and I thought—” He breaks off. “Is that
smoke
?”

“Yes, it is.” I lead Oscar to the wastebasket, conscious of my body trembling. “I think someone tried to set a fire in here. I suggest you question Mrs. Mulgrave and Maisie immediately.”

But Oscar can find no evidence that the Mulgraves had anything to do with the fire. The next day one of the housemaids, Betsy, comes to find me afternoon tea, her face splotchy with tears.

“Your Grace, I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am! I lit the fireplace in your room last night so it would be nice and warm when you got home, and I—I suppose I must have dropped the match without realizing? I had no idea, and I am so awfully sorry. To think what might have happened …” Her voice breaks off as she bursts into fresh tears.

“It’s okay, Betsy,” I assure her. “It wasn’t your fault.”

I’m definitely not convinced she was the one to drop the match anyway; my money is still on Mrs. Mulgrave or Maisie. One of them could have easily gone in and put the lit match in the wastebasket, knowing it would be blamed on Betsy. But without proof, there’s nothing I can do. I’m forced to work alongside Mrs. Mulgrave in preparation for the Rockford Fireworks Concert while my suspicions continue to grow.

I wake up on the morning of the concert nauseous from nerves. My first event as hostess means having to meet countless new people, with all eyes on me, watching and judging whether I’m fit to be the face of Rockford Manor. At the same time, Sebastian and Theo are planning to attend with their parents, and I’m anxious for Sebastian’s return to Rockford to go smoothly—and for my beer-laced admission to be forgotten.

The house is a sea of activity from the moment I get out of bed. The caterers have arrived and taken over the kitchen, while the orchestra follows on their heels and files outside to set up their bandstand. On the South Lawn beneath the Fountain Terrace, I find handymen laying a dance floor atop the grass, while footmen line the garden with buffet tables and set up smaller dining tables and chairs. The Fountain Terrace and the Rose Garden are strung with lights, while across the lake, the fireworks operators set up their aerial devices. Oscar and Mrs. Mulgrave are at the helm of the operation, surveying the work and calling out orders.

“Is there anything I can do?” I offer, making my way over to them.

Mrs. Mulgrave just stares at me, her dark gaze giving me the uneasy feeling that she knows I accused her of the fire. I quickly shift my focus to Oscar.

“Thank you, Your Grace, but I believe we have it all under control,” Oscar says kindly.

“I guess I’ll start getting ready then,” I say, feeling a bit useless. “Everything looks amazing.”

I take my time doing my hair and makeup, all too aware of the many photos that will be taken tonight. Maisie knocks on my door offering to help, but I tell her I prefer to get ready alone. Ever since the Stanhopes’ dinner, I don’t exactly trust her.

As I slip on my first couture dress, a red knee-length Alexander McQueen, I feel the sudden, unexpected sense of belonging in this role. Glancing in the mirror, I realize that I look like an actual duchess—and for the first time, I feel like one too.

The first guests arrive at four o’clock, and before long the lawn and gardens are filled with Wickersham locals, the children playing organized games in the Rose Garden, while their parents sip champagne and feast on hors d’oeuvres. I stand under a flower arch Max built for the occasion, greeting each guest, shaking hands and smiling until I think my cheeks might fall off. Though it’s definitely tedious, I find I’m happy. Everyone is so sweet and excited to meet me that I feel humbled, and grateful to be here.

As the hour reaches six, I spot a familiar group heading toward me. My stomach flutters as I watch Sebastian’s confident stride. He is gorgeous in his suit, and I’m reminded of one of Carole Marino’s favorite phrases: “too handsome for his own good.”

“You’ve done a beautiful job,” Lady Stanhope says, after we exchange greetings. “Rockford looks magnificent.”

“Oh, well, I didn’t have much to do with it,” I admit. “It’s great to see you all.”

I glance at Sebastian, and he gives me a grin that makes my heart leap. Maybe my words at the pub haven’t ruined things between us after all.

Dinner is served, at seven, and I’m finally able to give my feet a rest. I join the Stanhopes’ table, making shy conversation with his parents and joking around with Theo—but Sebastian is quiet. I imagine he must be seeing visions of Lucia everywhere he looks, remembering past fireworks concerts here with her, and the thought brings an ache to my chest. At one point, Mrs. Mulgrave and Maisie walk together past the lawn, and I watch as they both stop and stare at Sebastian. Are they, too, recalling memories of him and Lucia together?

At last, it’s time for the main event. The guests make their way toward the lake for the best view of the fireworks, while the band starts up a rousing rendition of “Rule Britannia.” And that’s when I feel Sebastian gently take my hand.

I turn around, suddenly short of breath as I look up at him.

“Come with me?” he asks.

I can do nothing but nod. No one seems to notice as we drift away from the crowd, finding a hiding place beneath a tall oak tree on the opposite side of the lake. We’re close enough to see the fireworks, but too far away to be heard.

“I’m not sure where to begin,” he says, the moonlight casting a glow against his green eyes. “I’ve been wondering for two days now, and I just had to come out and ask you. … Did you mean what you said the other night?”

I swallow hard.

“Um. God, this is embarrassing. …”

“Don’t be embarrassed.” Sebastian takes my hand again, and looks beseechingly into my eyes. “You can probably guess why I’m asking.”

I shake my head.

“You already know, don’t you?” I manage a nervous smile. “You’ve known since we were kids. I could never hide my feelings well.”

“I guessed how you felt then,” he says quietly. “But I’m not as sure now.”

“I’ve loved you since I was a little girl,” I whisper. “I never stopped. But I know you can never feel the same, and I understand. Lucia was the one for you and I could never take her place—I know that.”

I realize I’m on the verge of tears, and I turn to hide my face from his, slightly in shock over my own confession.

I feel his hand touch my cheek, gently pulling my face toward his.

“I have to tell you something,” he says in a low voice. “My relationship with Lucia … it wasn’t all everyone thought.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, my face still burning from my big reveal.

“I—I didn’t love her.”

I stare at him uncomprehendingly. I must have misheard.

“She changed, or maybe I did too, but … it turned out she wasn’t the girl I wanted to be with. I held on because of the bond we once had as kids, but it just wasn’t the same when we got older. Every time I tried to end it, she reminded me of our history and made me feel like an arse for trying to leave her. My parents, too, were so attached to the idea of us ending up together, and our families uniting. I was trapped in our relationship, unable to get out without hurting people I cared about. Then, when she died and everyone felt so awful for me, I—I couldn’t stand myself. I felt like a fraud.”

He breathes a deep sigh, as if a weight has been lifted off his chest.

“You didn’t … love her?” I echo in disbelief.

“I never did.” Sebastian inches closer. “But I think I’m falling in love with you.”

Stunned, I open my mouth to speak. But before I can say a word, his lips are on mine, our mouths are moving together, and I have never felt anything like this before. He pulls me closer to him as he buries his face in my hair and brushes his lips across my neck. I let out a gasp of pleasure.

As if on cue, the first display of fireworks explodes in the air. The crowd cheers, and Sebastian and I turn to face the sky, our arms still wrapped around each other. My heart soars, my mind replaying his words: “I think I’m falling in love with you.” It’s everything I dreamed of but never dared to expect.