Suzy Zeus Gets Organized (3 page)

CHAPTER 4
Suzy Back Home

SUZY PLANS

Suzy wants to make a baby.

Suzy can and Suzy will.

Suzy Zeus has had her fun now.

Suzy Zeus has had her fill.

Prick the condom, poke the cap, forgo

the sponge, forget the pill.

Suzy wants a changing table,

wants a playpen, blanket, crib,

booties, rattle, car seat, bottle—

matching high chair, spoon, and bib.

Suzy's had enough of working

and enough of women's lib.

Children hug you when you're chilly.

Plus they're cute and small and sweet.

Then they're good for when you're older.

Suzy likes their hands and feet.

Babies need you. Babies hold you.

Children make your life complete.

Last year Suzy had no warning.

This year Suzy's nice and calm.

This year's babe will be a blossom.

Last year's was a ticking bomb.

Suzy's got the formula—she's

ready now to be a mom.

Suzy needs to find a bouncer.

Suzy writes a classified

asking for a bodybuilder—

no one she's already tried.

Suzy puzzles over names.

Corvette. Pleshette. Ebonix. Clyde.

Sally's kids are Bobby, Sherman,

Cindy, Marcia, Archie, Jan.

All of them are tall and fair,

except for Arch, who's short and tan.

Keith has two. (Or five. But no one's

pinned it on him. No one can.)

Suzy, planning questions, plans on

knitting during interviews.

Come on, baby, be my music.

Come on, baby, be my muse.

Suzy wants an ethnic father

maybe. It's so hard to choose.

SUZY REVIEWS HER FINANCES

Suzy's pacing in her walk-up.

Suzy's going down the drain.

Suzy dreams of debtors' prison,

breaking rocks in ball and chain.

Suzy clenches, hears her mallet's

rhythmic pounding in her brain.

Suzy talked with Visa's cops, who

said she'd more than shot her wad.

Bit the bullet, called up Louie's,

got Joanne, and talked to Todd.

Suzy thought, The eight P.M. shift?

This can't be the will of God.

Maybe God's gone on vacation,

leaving everything to Fate.

What if everything is ruined?

What if He gets back too late?

Maybe she should move to Flushing.

Maybe she should move upstate.

Suzy needs a kid to kidnap.

Suzy needs a bank to rob.

Suzy needs a wealthy lover.

Suzy needs a high-paid job.

Let her win the lottery or

maybe just let loose and sob.

Suzy doesn't have a minute.

Suzy doesn't have a cent.

She would move if only someone

knew where Bitterino went.

Mrs. Tragas shakes her head: the

girlie didn't pay her rent.

SUZY TRIES THE TAO

Suzy's going slowly gaga,

wearing beads and making lists,

reads haiku, epistle, saga,

raises up her eyes and fists,

whispering a secret prayer

in case a god of God exists.

Suzy's going to shun samsara.

Suzy's going to give up sex.

Suzy's going to wear a sheet and

dance on Forty-third and Lex.

Suzy likes those guys with crosses

tattooed right around their necks.

Tsuzy wants to get enlightened.

Tsuzy wants to pierce her lip.

Tsuzy wants a new Taon jacket—

something holy, something hip.

Jazzed, Lao-Tsuzy meditates to

help her brain waves get a grip.

"Who can sit and watch the silt drift

down until the pond is clear?"

Suzy, groping, tries to downshift,

cannot find a lower gear.

Maybe she should read the paper.

Maybe she should buy some beer.

Suzy wants to be a mystic.

Suzy wants to read your palm.

Even though it's atavistic,

she's anointing folks with balm.

Suzy feels a bit ballistic

even when she's feeling calm.

Suzy walks, in Brooklyn, back and

forth along the Promenade.

On her windy roof she sings. The

neighbors act like Suzy's odd.

Suzy's whole and Suzy's wholesome.

Suzy Zeus is helping God.

Suzy's brain is spinning, sparking,

making meaning, waging war.

Tastes are mad explosions. Smells have

never smelled like this before.

Suzy's hot

then cold

then hotter.

Please don't seat her near the door.

Max-a-million Zeus-Rodriguez.

Lucy. Desi. Ricky. Kate.

No one's writing. No one's phoning.

Why is there no ready mate?

Suzy's full of grace, and blessèd.

It's so hard to knit and wait.

Suzy's actions act like arrows.

Suzy's speech is like a spear.

Suzy Zeus has saddened sadness.

Suzy Zeus has frightened fear.

Suzy's never been so happy.

Suzy's never been so clear.

Suzy's howling at her litter,

separating white from black,

separating good from evil,

separating from the pack.

Suzy Zeus is right on target.

Suzy Zeus is right on track.

SUZY TRIES THE DOW

Suzy Zeus has plucked her eyebrows.

Suzy Zeus has picked a goal.

Suzy has a new persona.

Sees life steady, sees it whole.

Suzy's going to get connected.

Suzy's going to
get
control.

Suzy smiles a ten-buck smile and

runs her finger down the list.

"Mr. Milken's here," she says, then,

"Have a seat." She flicks her wrist.

Finally, she's economic.

Suzy, Temp Receptionist.

Suzy wants a leather briefcase.

Suzy wants a silk-back vest.

Suzy doesn't need credentials,

but she'll get them, if it's best.

Suzy wants a window office.

Suzy wants her trousers pressed.

Suzy wants to buy a co-op,

put big art up on the wall.

Suzy wants to give some parties.

Suzy wants to give her all.

Suzy wants to be consulted.

Suzy's feeling ten feet tall.

Suzy wants a foreign nanny.

Suzy wants a private school.

Where they teach good manners and big

business and the golden rule.

Suzy wants a tennis camp, with

horses and a swimming pool.

All alone in blackness, Suzy

risks a little vertigo.

Pressed against the glass, she hears the

traffic moving far below.

Silent ballerina in the

office of the CEO.

SUZY FOLLOWS HER FEET

Money changing hands is evil.

Plastic's out, in any form.

Suzy knows to shed her jacket.

She can tell the evening's warm.

Suzy senses God among her.

Suzy smells the coming storm.

Suzy's stepping through the mirror,

stepping through a foreign land,

stepping through the grace of God, her

sandals in a stranger's hand.

Suzy rides another's power.

Nothing Suzy does is planned.

Suzy doesn't need direction.

Suzy uses dogs and trees.

Suzy's sensed a true connection

since she set aside her keys.

(Suzy put them in the clover,

careful signals to the bees.)

Suzy passes pickup soccer,

watches boys in cutoff jeans.

Corner kick—they're in formation,

information in the scenes.

Suzy sees it all so clearly.

Suzy wonders what it means.

Suzy climbs to reach the forest,

pinnacle of Prospect Park.

In the woods she stands and watches

as the borough swings to dark.

Sunset's when the devil beckons—

she can see him in the bark.

SUZY FOLLOWS HER FEET FARTHER

Suzy grips a sycamore, awaiting

death, awaiting birth.

Hours. Waiting. Needs the sign to

show her value, prove her worth.

Suzy goes where Suzy's sent, to

do her job, to save the Earth.

Suzy Zeus is Agent Orange.

Suzy is an ammo round.

She's an AK-47 and its clacking, cracking sound.

Suzy is a combat unit.

Suzy is a battleground.

Suzy hosts a host of fighters,

demons some, some seraphim.

Suzy holds the broken pieces—

here a torso, there a limb.

Look for Suzy in the trenches.

Seek her where the light is dim.

Outside, Suzy's wild and wired.

Inside, Suzy's loud and loose.

Strangely, Suzy's never tired,

living now to be of use.

God has chosen certain people.

God is choosing Suzy Zeus.

Suzy's creeping. Night is sleeping,

dank and dark and stark and still.

Evil comes in many forms. She

wonders if she'll have to kill.

On the drive. A siren. Screaming

brakes—and racing down the hill.

SUZY FOLLOWS HER FEET

EVEN FARTHER

Three A.M. in deepest Brooklyn.

Shiny limos line the street.

Inside leather, silk, and spandex,

chains and lace and wine and heat.

Suzy's moving to the dance floor.

Suzy's moving to the beat.

Suzy slinks and Suzy gyrates.

See the sweat pour down her face.

Other dancers turn to watch her,

stop, and clap, and give her space.

Suzy, dance to save the moment—

dance to save the human race.

In the attic, after
Flipper,

Barbie had to pay the price.

Skipper and the others watching,

Suzy chanted, rolled some dice,

stripped the virgin, struck the match, sat

back and made the sacrifice.

Barbie's hair was singed and smelly.

Barbie. What a stupid name.

Keith found Suzy in the crawl space,

told her there that if she came

out with him he'd give her gum. He

needed her to play the game.

Keith brought Suzy down the alley,

down behind the railroad grade,

down to where their sister, Sally,

waited in the birches. They'd

brought some string and scissors. Sally

told her not to be afraid.

Suzy doesn't wear a beeper.

Suzy's given up the phone.

Suzy bumps and Suzy shimmies.

Watch her muscles.

Hear her moan.

Suzy dances in the leaf mold.

Suzy dances all alone.