Sweet as Honey (33 page)

Paul refused to acknowledge that she'd even said anything. “The sooner you get away from your
aendi
, the better. And your sisters too. I've talked it over with your
dawdi.
When we marry, your sisters will go to live with Sarah and Sol, and Bitsy will be shunned and asked to leave the community. You will have no contact with her.”

“Shunned?” Why would he tell her that? His anger must have made him incautious. Either that or he still believed that she would give in. She'd done it for so many years. Fear stabbed at her heart. Could Paul really arrange to have Aunt Bitsy shunned?

“As my wife, you will submit to my wishes. Bitsy will not come near our children.”

Lily took a deep breath and gave Paul a fake smile. “What a relief.”

“I knew you would come to see the wisdom in it.”

“
Nae,
Paul. You misunderstand. It is a relief to know that I will never be your wife.”

Paul scowled like Farrah Fawcett at a bowl of dry cat food. “
Nae,
Lily. You need me.”

“You've made it perfectly clear over the years that I am not good enough to be your wife. You should start looking for someone better.”

Little dots of perspiration appeared on Paul's upper lip. “You're not thinking straight. Dan has done this to you. Go home and consider—”

She'd never felt so strong, so in control of her own life. “I don't need to consider anything. My answer is no, and it will still be no tomorrow and the next day. I won't marry you.” She'd wasted so much time already.

“You don't want to marry me?” Paul said, his voice pitched high enough to crack the faces of every one of his precious clocks.

Nae,
and she'd been trying to talk herself into it for years. “I don't want you to worry about the honey. I know it's been a burden to you. I will sell it to Carole in Shawano or call Coloma and see what they will give me for it.”

His eyes grew bigger and rounder with each passing minute. “We had an agreement.”

“You changed the agreement not ten minutes ago. It seems only fair that I be allowed to do the same. If you want my honey, you'll have to pay four dollars and seventy-five cents a pint for it.”

Paul seemed to lose all sense of reason. His nostrils flared and a nasty scowl pulled at his mouth. “Do you understand what I sacrificed for you?”

“We've both sacrificed a great deal.”

“I knew Dan liked you. I wanted to get back at him for cheating us out of our land. I befriended you even though I found you repulsive. Repulsive, Lily. But
Gotte
smiled on my sacrifice and made you beautiful. I knew I could mold you into the
gute frau
I wanted. I grew to love you, Lily. We were doing fine until Dan started puffing you up.”

His words stung like a thousand yellow jackets. It seemed that even at the beginning, their friendship had been a sham. Paul's interest had been nothing more than petty revenge that turned into an attempt to groom her to be the perfect, controllable wife. Her eyes stung with tears, and she marveled that she had ever considered Dan Kanagy the mean one. Paul was showing her what unkindness really meant.

She studied Paul's face. How could someone live like that, letting anger and petty jealousies constantly eat away at his soul? She pitied him. She had never stood up to him, never contradicted him or questioned his authority before. She'd caught him off guard, and he had no idea what to do with all his hostile feelings.

“Good-bye, Paul,” she said. “I wish you all the happiness in the world.” Lord willing he would find himself an ugly wife.

Expelling the air from her lungs, she smothered that bitter thought and let it die. She truly hoped that the girl who married Paul would be stronger and braver than she had been.

“You'll be forced out, all of you,” he said, spitting like a cat. “You and your aunt and sisters will be shunned until you come crawling home, begging me to take you back.”

She had to get out of there. She refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing that his threat had hit its mark. Blinking rapidly to keep the tears at bay, she pushed hard on the door handle. It didn't budge, but her momentum took her face-first into the glass. Oh,
sis yuscht!
She'd forgotten it was locked.

Still scowling fiercely, Paul unlocked the door with a flick of his wrist. Lily ducked out of the market as fast as she could go before she burst into tears.

“Let that be a lesson to you,” Paul yelled as she climbed into her buggy.

She heard the door lock once again, and she took a deep, cleansing breath in the solitude and blessed silence of her buggy.

Fear pumped like ice through her veins. Would Paul really try to have Aunt B shunned? Would he drive her out of the community? Had Lily unwittingly hurt her family by rejecting him?

Nae.
He would have tried to have Aunt B shunned whether she married him or not. It would be better not to be his wife if he tried.

How could she have been so blind to give so many years of her life to Paul? What must Dan think of her?

Her lungs ceased to work. She already knew what he thought.

She finally admitted it to herself. She loved Dan to the depths of her soul, and she ached for him to love her back. But how could he ever love someone so pathetically weak?

The thought of losing Dan and the weight of the emotions of the last half hour finally crushed her. She tilted her head back and sobbed like the lost eighth grader she once had been.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

It was nearly full dark outside when Lily pulled onto the lane. Last year, Bitsy had outfitted their buggy with battery-powered headlights and a heater. On late nights and dark times like this, Lily was grateful for the extra light.

She stumbled out of the buggy, opened the orange barn door, and led Queenie into the moist, pungent space. They had one horse, eight chickens, and no cows. The small barn was big enough for the buggy, the honey wagon, two horses, and hay to feed Queenie.

Lily found the flashlight hanging on a peg near the door and turned it on, then backed the buggy into the corner of the barn and unhitched Queenie with all the skill born of regular practice.

She yawned as exhaustion crept up on her. Her eyes stung and every muscle in her body ached, as if she'd spent the day pushing a boulder up a mountain.

Shining the flashlight to illuminate her way, she led Queenie into her stall. The stall door swung shut like a porch swing in a lazy breeze as Lily stroked Queenie's chestnut-brown muzzle and cooed soft words of thanks into Queenie's ear. Poppy had mucked out today, so the straw was fresh and the trough filled with water.

Now that she looked back, it seemed obvious that Aunt Bitsy and her sisters had been hoping for her to break things off with Paul for a very long time. Poppy had barely been civil to him, and Rose cowered behind Aunt B whenever Paul came over. Aunt B hadn't shown a preference for anyone, but she had insisted that Lily didn't owe Paul anything.

They might be happy about the breakup, but would she upset them when she told them that Paul had threatened to have them shunned?

Lily's heart nearly hopped out of her chest when the door at the back of the barn opened and closed, and she saw a faint light shining in the space outside the stall. She almost called out before biting her lip doubtfully and holding her tongue. Was it one of her sisters? Why wouldn't they come in through the front doors? She heard the shuffling of heavy footsteps on the cement floor.

It didn't sound like Aunt Bitsy.

Was it Paul, come to ask for her forgiveness?

Something told her that Paul, for all his faults, wouldn't be so sneaky, and he certainly wouldn't ask for forgiveness. Besides, he didn't even know the barn had a back door.

Lily pressed herself against the far wall of the stall and turned off her flashlight as quietly as possible. She peered through the crack between the stall door and the wall, and what she saw curdled her blood.

By the light of a weak flashlight, she saw someone inch slowly toward her. He was short and stocky and wore a straw hat. Not Dan and definitely not Paul.

In panic, she clamped her eyes shut, hoping like a little child that if she couldn't see him, he wouldn't be able to see her. It wouldn't matter if she was invisible. He could probably hear her heart pounding wildly. Lily pressed her hand against her mouth to keep from crying out. Bile rose in her throat as those muffled footsteps came closer.

She didn't think he realized she was in the barn. Had he come to play another prank? Would he try to hurt Queenie? What if he turned on her? Her mind raced with a thousand horrible possibilities. She had to run away—now—but she couldn't get her legs to obey her. Paralyzed with fear, all she could do was hold her breath and listen to the steady thud of his feet as he came nearer.

The world seemed to stand still for one long, slow blink, and then the stall door creaked open. The man or boy shined the flashlight directly into her face. Letting the terror overcome her, she screamed with all her might as she pressed herself into the wall in hopes she would end up on the other side.

She startled him, and he dropped the flashlight into the straw. So, he hadn't known she was here. Before either of them got over their shock, Lily heard the barn door
swish
as if someone had thrown it open with a great deal of force. The barn flooded with light, and Lily heard the comforting hiss of a propane lantern and the even more comforting sound of Dan Kanagy's voice. “Lily! Are you in here?” He sounded as if he might choke on his panic.

She nearly fainted in relief. “I'm here,” she called.

Lily couldn't see her, but she heard Aunt Bitsy clear as day. “Young man,” she said in the threatening voice she saved for only the naughtiest of children. “I've got a shotgun, and I'm not afraid to use it.”

The boy, who looked no older than Lily, left his flashlight and bolted toward the back door.

Lily heard Aunt B cock her shotgun as the boy hightailed it for the exit. “And don't come back unless you want buckshot for breakfast.”

As soon as Lily heard the door at the back of the barn slam shut, her knees turned to jelly. She slid down the wall of Queenie's stall and came to rest on a thin pile of straw where she willed her heart to slow to a gallop. Hopefully, Queenie wouldn't get the jitters, because Lily didn't think she could move even if Queenie stepped on her. It was a
gute
thing the stall was so big. Queenie whinnied softly and eyed Lily curiously but didn't seem inclined to move.

Dan appeared at the door of the stall holding the lantern aloft, his eyes wild with fear. “Lily, are you all right?”

Afraid she might fall apart if she spoke, she simply nodded, making a valiant attempt at a smile and failing miserably.

Dan knelt on one knee and set the lamp at his feet. “Did he hurt you?”

She shook her head.

His breathing sounded more unsteady than hers. He reached out and pushed a tendril of hair from her face. A ribbon of warmth threaded its way down her spine. “Are you sure he didn't hurt you?”

Aunt Bitsy appeared at the open door of the stall with her elbow hooked under her shotgun and her face as grave as a funeral. “Are you okay, little sister?”

“I don't think he knew I was in the barn. He didn't hurt me,” Lily said. She sounded like a mouse. “But he scared me to death.”

“I hope I scared him to death,” Aunt B said.

Dan nodded. “You did. I've stared into the wrong end of your shotgun before.”

“But you wouldn't have shot him, would you, Aunt B?”

Aunt B waved her hand in Lily's direction. “
Nae.
I don't believe in guns.”

Poppy and Rose appeared at the stall door, wide-eyed and pale. “What happened?” Poppy said. “One minute Aunt Bitsy was looking out the window and the next minute she grabbed her gun and ran outside.”

Aunt B set the butt of her gun on the floor and curled her fingers around the shooting end. “I heard the buggy drive up the lane and watched Lily take it into the barn. Then I thought I saw someone sneaking around behind the barn. I got a feeling it was our hoodlum. I was afraid he'd hurt my Lily, so I came running.”

Rose gasped. “What happened?”

Saturated in concern, Dan didn't take his eyes from Lily's face. “He ran away when Bitsy came in with her gun.”

Rose knelt beside Lily, her face pale, her hands trembling. “Did he hurt you?”

“
Nae,
but he gave me quite a fright.”

Poppy let her gaze travel around the stall as if she were looking for clues to the intruder's identity. “What was he doing in our barn?”

Rose clapped her hand over her mouth. “Do you think he wanted to hurt Queenie?”

“I don't know,” Lily said. “He wasn't expecting to see me.”

“Did you see his face?” Poppy said. “Was it somebody we know?”

“I was too scared to think about trying to get a good look.”

“Can you stand up?” Dan said. “We should probably get you into the house so Queenie doesn't trample you.” He took hold of her hand and put his arm around her back.

Apparently, he was prepared to carry her all the way without a moment's hesitation. She thought she might melt like warm chocolate.

“I can walk,” she said, with more confidence than she felt. Every muscle in her body quivered.

Dan stood and offered a hand. She took it, and he pulled her up, but she immediately grabbed on to his arm to keep her balance. He didn't seem to mind. In fact, he slid his arm around her waist and gripped her elbow with his other hand. “I won't let you fall,” he said, giving her a look that did nothing to help the weak knees.

Bitsy handed her shotgun to Poppy and took Lily's other elbow. They ambled out of the barn with Lily, Dan, and Bitsy leading the way, and Poppy keeping a tight hold on both Rose and the gun. Rose looked almost as shaken up as Lily felt.

Dan opened the front door and helped Lily into one of the kitchen chairs. Then he went to the fridge and poured a glass of milk. “Here,” he said, setting the milk on the table and sitting next to her. “This might help calm your nerves.”

“
Denki,
” Lily said. Could he be any more
wunderbarr?
Could she be any less deserving? “But I think I am going to be okay. No harm done, for sure and certain.”

“Then do you care if I . . .” He motioned to the glass.

She shook her head.

She watched as he finished off the milk in five swallows, took the empty glass to the fridge, and poured himself another glassful. “There isn't enough milk in Wisconsin to make
me
feel better,” he said.

Aunt Bitsy pushed the fridge door shut and stood in front of it as if she were guarding the bank. “Don't drink it all, Dan Kanagy, or we'll have nothing for oatmeal in the morning.” She shook her head. “Why did we ever feed you in the first place?”

Dan returned to Lily's side with his glass of milk. Only when he took another swig did she notice that his hands were shaking.

Rose sidled close to Aunt B. Aunt B clicked her tongue and squeezed Rose's hand. Poppy also went to Aunt B, put an arm around her, and raised an eyebrow at Dan. “I don't mean to sound rude, but what are you doing here?”

Dan lowered his eyes as his lips twitched downward. “I was in town when I saw Lily come out of Glick's Market. She seemed upset, and I wasn't comfortable with the thought of her driving all the way home in the dark. I jumped in my buggy and followed her.” His lips twitched sheepishly. “Keeping my distance so I wouldn't frighten her.”

Lily thought she might burst with gratitude. Dan didn't even know the meaning of
inconvenient,
while it seemed to be one of Paul's favorite words.

He cleared his throat. “I probably should have turned around once I saw you to the bridge, but I came all the way, just to be sure. I got to the end of the lane just as Bitsy stormed out of the house with her shotgun.”

Bitsy propped her elbow on the island and rested her chin in her hand. “Even though you can be a pest, Dan Kanagy, I'm glad you came when you did. You scared that boy away.”

“You don't need me when you have a shotgun,” Dan insisted. “I was mostly useless.”

“I would never call you useless, Dan Kanagy,” Aunt Bitsy mumbled. Aunt Bitsy couldn't bring herself to give a compliment in full voice.

Still, Lily felt that compliment down to her bones. Dan was anything but useless, to her family and to her. He was fast becoming one of the most important people in her life. Could she muster the courage to tell him that? And would he reject her for all her past mistakes, the biggest one being Paul Glick? He certainly had every right to question her judgment.

“I'm glad I came,” Dan said, “even if it's only so you know that I want to help any way I can. It wonders me if we should call the police.”

The police? It wasn't the Amish way to involve the police in anything. Dan must really be worried.

“I don't want my girls in danger,” Aunt B said. “I will think on that.”

“My
dat
knows the county sheriff,” Dan said. “Just say the word, and I will talk to him. In the meantime, I hate to be a pest, but I want to spend more time here.” He gazed at Lily with those deep brown eyes that always made her a little breathless. “I know I promised to quit bothering you, but would you allow me to come tomorrow morning and help you load up the honey to take to Glick's Market? I know there's a lot of it, and I hate to think of you sisters loading all that honey by yourselves.”

Lily's heart swelled as wide and as deep as Lake Michigan. How could she ever hope to deserve so much kindness? In a moment of pure joy and sheer insanity, she threw her arms around Dan's neck right where he sat, and laid a kiss smack on those uncertain lips.

She caught him completely off guard. He stiffened momentarily before standing up and pulling her with him, their lips still firmly attached. He wrapped his arms tentatively around her waist and tugged her closer. She felt dizzy as stars and fireworks and parades danced around in her head. Aunt B and her sisters stood not eight feet away, but all she wanted to do was savor the feel of Dan's arms around her and the sensation of his lips on hers. He felt so warm and alive, his heartbeat so strong and vital, as if he carried spring with him wherever he went.

They parted, both dazed and completely out of breath. The look of surprise on Dan's face was priceless. She probably could have knocked him over with a stiff puff of air.

Someone standing near the fridge cleared her throat. Lily and Dan slowly turned their heads in Aunt B's direction. Flanked by Rose and Poppy, she stood with her arms folded firmly across her chest and her mouth pressed into a line of indignation.

Dan took two steps backward, glancing at the shotgun in its usual place against the wall. His gaze traveled to Lily's face. “Fright has made you delirious,” he said.